COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.

SUBTEXT DISCLAIMER: I believe Xena and Gabrielle are the sweetest of lovers and have been almost since they met, so I write them that way.  If you really hate this idea or are under 18, go find some Gen-Fanfic to read, there are plenty of really good ones out there.  The rest of you settle in and (hopefully) enjoy.

SPOILERS:  There are many for the season 6 episodes, A Friend in Need 1 and 2.

VIOLENCE DISCLAIMER:  There are some descriptions of the extreme violence of bloody sword-to-sword combat and being shot with arrows.

AUTHORS NOTE:  This story is the follow up to my Alt-Xena story, The Need of a Friend and continues the tale started there.

FEEDBACK: Send comments burnt or lightly under-done to:  [email protected]

 

* * *

 

A Friend Never Departed

By WLMcCord (Bill the Semi Bard) copyright, July 20, 2001

 

It was night in Greece, with a full moon and brilliant stars overhead shining through the trees.  A small campfire glowed and a short distance away, a golden horse was contentedly cropping grass.  Beside the fire was a small bag of camp supplies, a saddle, and saddlebags.  Near the fire lay a curved sword called a katana, two short dagger-like Sai’s and a hooplike circle of metal with an “S” shape joining the circle in the center. The weapons glistened and gleamed in the firelight.  A single pair of boots and some clothing lay there as well.  Next to them was a single bedroll upon which two figures lay tangled together.  One was a small woman with short blond hair and brilliant green eyes.  The other was a tall dark woman with piercing blue eyes.  They were both naked and moving in rhythms of passion as old as time.

 

Gabrielle moaned and writhed, tangling her fingers in Xena’s hair.  Her voice was choked.  “Oh! Ohhhhh, YES!  Oh, sweetheart, th-that’s it … d-don’t stoppp…” On top of her, the nude warrior continued her ministrations, stroking and tickling her lover’s breasts and stomach while she kissed the satin skin between the blond’s legs.  “Ohhh, by the gods!  Xenaaaaa…” the small woman cried out as her soulmate took her to the heights of pleasure and she shuddered all over in a transport of ecstasy.

 

Afterwards the warrior held her tenderly, stroking and kissing her partner’s damp skin until the bard’s breathing slowed to something resembling normal.

 

“Oh, my love,” the petite woman sighed, kissing the hollow of Xena’s throat.  “Being dead has taken away none of your many skills, I’ll say that for you.  Every time you make love to me, it’s brand new.”

 

The warrior chuckled low.  “I’m glad to hear that death has not lessened my variety.” 

 

“That’s for certain, my sweet, bold lover.” The bard’s sigh was heartfelt and contented.

 

Xena grinned, then shivered as the bard cupped her breasts with a thumb on each dark tip and began nibbling at her bare neck.  “Guh-Gabrielle…” she choked.  “Wh-What are you doing…”

 

“Oh, my dearest,” Gabrielle whispered, her breath heating Xena’s skin.  “You give me so much pleasure … I want to do the same for you…”

 

“Oh, gods, Gabrielle…” Xena gasped, trying to keep control of the situation.  “You … you k-know this doesn’t work well … Ooooooh.”  She interrupted herself as the bard’s fingers touched a very special place.  She was already worked up over what she had been doing for her lover, and the feelings were quickly overcoming her.  Her eyes closed and she began breathing more quickly.

 

“Please, sweetheart,” the bard whispered, nibbling Xena’s earlobe making her tremble.  “I WANT you!  Concentrate.  Please?  Concentrate really hard?  For me?  Pleeeeease?”  She murmured into the warrior’s ear and her breath was a hot torment.

 

“Oh, my dear one…” moaned the warrior.  “Oh, yes, yessssss…” In her mind she thought, concentrate.  CONCENTRATE.  L-Like Lao Ma t-taught youuuuu.  Oh, gods!  Yes, please.  M-Maybe this time…

 

They rolled over and Gabrielle was on top of the larger woman.  Her warm lips found Xena’s and the bard was smiling as she kissed her lover.  Her long fingers stroked over the warrior’s body and her skin against Xena’s was warm and silky-damp from her own pleasure minutes before.  The blanket felt soft beneath the big woman and she could feel bumps on the ground under it, and it was all so sensual that she groaned aloud.

 

“I love you,” Gabrielle whispered between kisses.  “Oh, how I (kiss) love you (kiss) my dear (kiss) warrior.”

 

“Gabrielllllle ... th-that’s iiiit … don’t stop!”  The warrior sobbed as she felt the stirrings building in intensity.  Concentrate … oh, gods.  Con-cen-t-t-tr-ate.   She was nearing climax when suddenly the wonderful feelings vanished and there was a thump. Gabrielle gave a startled squeak at the same moment.  Aw, shit!

 

Xena’s eyes opened.  She looked down and could see the ground about a foot below through the dim outlines of her own faded body and sighed.  Damn.  As usual she hadn’t been able to stay solid in the stress of the moment and had gone intangible.  Gabrielle was lying on her face on the blanket.  Strangely, the tattoos of the sacred dragon on the bard’s back and calves were glowing a brilliant white.  As Xena watched with interest, the glows faded back to just being tattoo’s again.  Then the petite woman sighed and rolled over looking stricken.

 

“Xena?  Are you here?”  She looked around and spoke softly, her face unhappy.  Then the ghost-warrior concentrated her thoughts and faded back slowly in the same position she had been in but about a foot over.  She was dressed fully in her armor and weapons once more.  “Oh, there you are … are, are you all right?”

 

“Sure,” smiled the warrior.  She rolled her eyes.  “Just a bit, um, frustrated.  You?”

 

“I’m fine.  I fell through you when you disappeared and landed flat on the ground … no damage done, I was just surprised.”  Gabrielle scowled.  “Ya think I’d know better by now than to climb on top of you, but I love feeling you against me that way.”

 

“Ya think I don’t?”  The now solid raven-haired woman sighed and rolled into a sitting position.  “Dammit,” she said with a wry smile.  “This would be funny if it weren’t so annoying.”

 

“Oh, Xena,” the bard’s eyes filled with tears.  “I’m SO sorry.”

 

“Hey, don’t be.  It’s my own fault.  I lost my concentration at a, um, vital moment.”  She touched the blond’s short-cropped hair tenderly.  “You have that affect on me, ya know.”

 

The bard sniffled.  “I just hate it that you can stay solid long enough to give me such joy, but not when I try to give it back.  It’s not fair.”

 

“We’ve talked about this before, Gabrielle.”  The warrior sighed.  “When I am … giving you pleasure, I’m concentrating really hard on being there for you.  Of course I stay solid.  I LOVE you.  But when you return the favor, you get me so high I can’t hold on.  I CAN’T concentrate when you are loving me so sweetly, and when that happens, I just lose it and go back into full fade.”

 

Gabrielle was miserable.  “Oh, Xena.  I shouldn’t have pushed it.  I know it hasn’t worked out so far, but I keep hoping.  Darling, when you are sweet to me, I just want to make you feel as wonderful as I do.”  She laid her head on the warrior’s chest.  “I feel so … selfish, letting you give me such pleasure without ever returning it.”

 

“Dear one,” Xena hugged her soulmate to her and rested her chin on the blond head.  “Don’t you know how much joy I derive out of giving you that pleasure?”

 

“Yes, but…”

 

“No ‘buts’,” the raven-haired woman spoke firmly.  “If this is the only choice I have of being with you, then I’ll take it and run!  We are together; we can talk and cuddle, do almost everything we did when I was alive.  What more can I ask of life … uh, death?”

 

Gabrielle sighed against Xena’s chest.  “Nothing I guess.  As long as you are beside me, even as a ghost, I still have you to love, and…” her voice was soft.  “…that’s all I need for now.”

 

The two lovers, the living and the ghostly, kissed gently for a long moment, then hugged tight to one another and just lay there each savoring the feel of the other.  With her cheek against Xena’s muscled chest, Gabrielle closed her eyes in contentment.  Xena traced a finger along the dragon tattoo on her lover’s back.  “This beastie of Akemi’s certainly is beautiful.  The small ones on your calves are as well.”

 

“Thank you.  They’re useful, too,” the blond murmured against her chest.  “When Yudoshi hit me with the fireball, it kept me alive when I should have died.”

 

“You know, it was glowing for a moment there after you just fell through me,” Xena said thoughtfully.

 

“Was it?”  The uninterested bard kept her eyes closed.  “That’s funny, huh?”

 

“Yeah.  Now I think about it, I’ve noticed it before,” the warrior said.  “Like when those pirates attacked the ship and one hit you from behind with his sword.  This thingy burst into a white light I could see even through your clothing, and afterward you hadn’t been hurt by the blow except for a bruise.”

 

“I guess it kinda helps protect me against any kind of harm,” said her friend snuggling closer.  “It’s like you that way, sweetheart.”

 

“Hmmm.”  Xena smiled.  “Then I’m doubly glad you have it.”  She kissed the tattoo and held her lover while stroking her back and sides gently.

 

Gabrielle sighed and held Xena tightly.  “That feels so good.  YOU feel so good when you’re holding me like this, my love…”

 

“And I love doing it,” Xena whispered kissing the bard’s earlobe and continuing to stroke her gently.  Yes, she thought, I do love holding her and feeling close, but I can’t fully relax and just enjoy it, cause it takes a lotta concentration to hold myself together as it were.  Staying solid for long periods of time was somehow tiring to the warrior ghost and it seemed to take something out of her that being faded didn’t.  Oh, well; it’s STILL better than being without one another at all, she smiled.  I’ll take it, I’ll definitely TAKE it!

 

After a time, the bard’s breathing became regular and slow and her eyes were closed.  Then a light snore came from her mouth, woke her up and she blinked in a dazed sort of way.  “Huh?  D-Did you say … something … honey?”

 

“No, you did,” chuckled the warrior ghost.  “I think it was something like, ‘Snorrrkell-UMPH!’”

 

“Phooey.  S’not even a word…” Gabrielle said petulantly with her green eyes still closed.  She kept her chin on the raven-haired woman’s chest.  “M’ a great bard … I’da never said ‘Snork … Snerkl … Snumph-el…’ whatever you said.”

 

Xena smiled and kissed the blond’s nose and regarded her soulmate tenderly.  “I think it’s time for all the sleepy-headed living people in the group to turn in.”

 

“Not … sleepy…” the bard protested, then spoiled it with a huge yawn and smiled sheepishly.  “Well, maybe I am … a little.”

 

The warrior smiled and hugged her.  “Say ‘Good night’, Gabrielle.  Sleep well and don’t worry, I’ll keep watch.”

 

“Xena … I lo-hooohumm…” the bard suddenly yawned again.  “Sorry.  I meant to say, ‘I love you.’ Guess you wore me out, honey.”

 

“Hmmm.  From the noises you were making, I wouldn’t have guessed.”  Xena snickered.

 

Gabrielle stuck out a pink tongue, then stretched luxuriously back against her lover.  “I feel so, relaxed.  Like I’m floating … think I’m gonna … drift off any second…” She yawned once more.

 

Xena kissed her lover’s forehead and said, “You can go ahead and drift if ya wanna, but ya better lie down on the blanket or you’ll hit the ground again when I fade out from under you…”

 

“Spoilsport,” the small woman grumbled, but did as she was told. 

 

Once lying on the ground, she looked up at Xena and caressed her cheek with a soft hand.  She said nothing, but the green eyes spoke of her love.  The warrior leaned into the bard’s hand, savoring the contact and smiled down at her.  “Rest now, my dear one.  I’m here protecting you.”

 

“I know.  I feel so … safe with you…” the bard said sleepily as her eyes closed.  “G’night … sweetheart … I love … you so…” Within moments she was snoring lightly. 

 

Xena regarded her sleeping soulmate tenderly.  “I love you too.”  She whispered as she faded out.  The warrior could see the campfire through the dim outline of her arm, and knew she was fully faded once more.  She sat on a fallen tree near the bard and looked up at the moon.  At least she tried to sit … she was actually floating a few inches above it, but since she couldn’t feel anything during full fade, she didn’t know it. 

 

Eight or so hours till daylight, when Gabrielle would be awake once more and ready to talk.  That would be a long time.  Xena sighed.  She had never thought when she was alive, that there would be a time she might miss the petite bard’s chattering.  Huh.  That was then, this is now, she thought wryly.  Guess ya don’t know what ya got till it’s gone.  At least we’re together.

 

She extended her senses all around the camp, searching for danger or movement of any kind but there was nothing to be felt but the wind in the trees and a few small animals going about their nightly business.  She had found that her ghostly aura could feel things out to about three hundred feet in all directions, just about the limit of the furthest distance she could seem to get from Gabrielle.  If she attempted to go any further, something held her back no matter how hard she pushed. 

 

With my death, we have become linked even closer than we were in life, she thought in bemusement.  It’s kind of a pain, actually.  In life I traveled all over the known (and unknown) world.  Now, I am linked to Gabrielle and this small space around her.  Strange.  Within that space, my many skills have increased quite a bit.  I don’t have to eat, sleep or excrete.  I have the power to fade in or out, to float, to appear, to become solid for a time and do anything (well, almost) that I did in life.  She sighed.  But for all of that, I can’t move out of sight of my earthly love.

 

She looked back at her sleeping soulmate.  I love her so much, she thought, but I’d give almost anything for a peaceful nights sleep like she has.  Staying awake 24-7 without someone to talk to or something to do is kind of … well, face it Xena, a lot of the time it’s boring.

 

She shook her head.  Listen to you!  You got to stay together, didn’t you?  You can solidify and ride Argo’s daughter or sword fight bad guys.  For a while … before you fade again.  You can always hear and see. You can even smell, feel and taste when you want to … for a limited time anyway.  At a chirping call overhead, she looked up at the sky and watched the nighthawks circling for a long time as they chased insects.  Finally as the birds moved to other hunting grounds, Xena brought her gaze back to her sleeping lover.  Yeah.  You can kiss your dear one, and even do a bit more than that, she grinned, then frowned.  At least before you fade fade fade away again when you lose your concentration over her that is.  She smiled wryly.  Yep.  Gabrielle is easy to lose control over and that’s for certain.  I loved her more than life itself and that’s why I’m here with her now.

 

Then she frowned.  No, it isn’t the whole reason by any means.  Don’t sugar coat it, Xena.  I love Gabrielle and I’m glad I’m here with her, but I’m here with her in this state of unlife because I made a choice to die.  And I’m paying for it; gods, how I’m paying for the city of Higuchi.

 

Her thoughts went swirling back to the last battle. 

 

* * *

 

The war drums sounded, booming and rumbling like thunder of the gods.  Arrows flew with the sound of deadly bees; hundreds of them.  Xena ducked and spun, using the chakram in wide swings to smash the deadly swarm out of the air before they struck her.  But they came and came, sweeping across the ground from all sides like a carpet of death.  It was inevitable.  One finally struck her as she dodged into its path trying to avoid five others.  There was a pop inside her skin as she felt the all too familiar pain stab and tear its way into her left shoulder.  Biting back a cry, she grasped the shaft with her right hand and broke it off short, hurling the pieces from her.  More flew toward her, and she staggered behind a tree.  They passed by or stuck into the trunk, but it was only a temporary respite.  Now more of the deadly thorns flew towards her from the other direction and as she spun around to dodge one seemed to explode into her left knee with a searing gout of red agony.

 

Unable to keep from crying out this time, she fell onto her back as more passed through the space where she had been.  The pain in her knee was hideous, but with a choking sound she broke off this shaft as well.  Crawling back to her feet, fighting the urge to throw up she limped in the direction from which the shafts had just come and arrived at the charred remains of the wagon that had carried the explosive fire oil.  It was flipped on its side and the bed of it might offer some cover.  Face drawn, she heard another flight coming at her from behind and stumbled around the wagon just in time to avoid them.  Now however, more came suddenly from this side as well and before she could dodge, she was hit again, this time in the right shoulder.  Biting back a moan from bloody lips she broke that shaft off and tossed it aside just in time for yet another to pin her right forearm to the wagon bed in a white-hot burst of anguish.

 

She whimpered as she broke it and pulled her arm off of the shaft.  She slumped down against the wagon with her right hand numb.  “All right, all right…” she gasped, “you win that one…” Using her knowledge of pressure points, she dug the fingers of her left hand into the nerves in her right arm and then massaged the wooden hand for a moment.  Listening through her pain as she worked, she heard the shouted orders ahead in the woods and the sound of men moving forward.  The pressure points eased the numbness in her hand to a throbbing ache and she pulled herself to her feet again.  Drawing the katana left handed, she snarled at the wave of charging figures ahead and staggered to meet them.  “Now yer gonna get it…” she ground out with a feral grin.

 

Two more arrows came toward her.  She managed to stumble aside from one, but the other smashed into her stomach seeking her life with a vengeance.  It was a mortal wound, but she ignored it, snapping the shaft off with a contemptuous grunt and continuing ahead. 

 

Her mind seemed swathed in cotton wool and a red haze filled her eyes.  The thundering sounds of the drums and the war cries of the charging men receded into dull unimportance.  All she wanted to do was get in among them, to kill and maim as many as she could to pay for all the pain she felt.  The first man leaped at her, a Samurai in heavy armor with whistling katana raised high.  His battle scream turned into a kind of gagging shriek as she spilled his intestines with one underhanded slice of her blade.  Now another ran up, but a cut across his head removed half of his face and he spun dying to the ground.  She parried a blow from the next and removed his arm with one swipe, killed another, then another and another.

 

Now more of them ran up and she plunged into them, slanting her body like she was fighting a heavy ocean surf.  Blows struck her, some bouncing off her armor, others biting deep and seeking to end her life.  Pain racked her body and she screamed with each hit that wounded her, but she went on and on killing them almost mechanically.  “Gabrielle!” she screamed.  “GABRIELLLLLE!” She howled the bards name over and over as a war cry of defiance.  Her soulmates face was all she saw in her mind and behind her eyes as she hacked a bloody swath through man after screaming man who dared to face her.

 

She cut them down one after another and no one could stand before her, but she was weakening.  Blood poured from wound upon wound and the bludgeoning pain filled her mind and body.  Heedlessly she fought on and on.

 

“Xena, oh, Xena.”  She saw Gabrielle’s face in her mind, and the bard was crying.  “Why, Xena?  Why are you doing this?”  She sobbed.

 

Xena smiled.  “Because I love you, Gabrielle, and I hurt too much to stay with you and make you face my pain … I gotta make amends to the forty thousand of Higuchi, I gotta become a spirit to kill Yudoshi and this is the only way I know how … to … find … peace.” 

 

Her eyes cleared for a moment and in front of her she saw a youngish man with a fierce hanging mustache in full Samurai armor.  He had a katana raised to strike.  The ornate mon on his armor showed he was the commander of Yudoshi’s army.  She thought about killing him.  Blocking the blow.  Dodging.  But she was so tired; her arms and legs felt like lead.  Why bother?  Death had to come, why not now?  She’d done as much as she could, might as well quit struggling.  She relaxed and let the pain come flooding in and almost staggered with the weight of it, rocking back and forth.  Damn, she was hurt.  She could feel any one of a dozen mortal wounds gouging at her. 

 

The Samurai still hesitated and she felt irritation through her pain.  Come on Xena, kill this guy--go out fighting--warrior to the end.  She tried to raise her sword and found that she couldn’t.  All busted up inside; I got nuthin’ left.  Hell with it.  She looked the waiting commander in the eye and nodded slightly.  His eyes narrowed.  She felt herself sway and darkness crowded in around her vision. 

 

Come on, ya bastard … lemme take it … while m’ still standin’ up.  She saw the tiny movement in his face just before he decided to swing and almost laughed despite her pain; so obvious.  “I love …  you … Gabrielle,” she thought as the katana came down towards her neck.  Then a curtain of red seemed to wash over her vision and went to black and she stopped feeling anything.  Gratefully.

 

* * *

 

Xena shook her head.  Piss-ant warlord.  I would get it from one like him, she thought disgustedly.  He was just a scavenger working for Yudoshi to gather in even more souls for the bastard to torment.  At least Gabrielle took him out later with the chakram.  He had no honor, so it was no better than he deserved.  Gods, I’m glad I buried my armor and sword before the battle.  That was one trophy they didn’t get to hang up with my body, and I hated the thought of anyone else but Gabrielle getting to wear my stuff or use it.  Course she didn’t get to get it.  It’s still buried there somewhere in the forest near Higuchi.

 

She looked down at her leather arm protectors, armor and boots.  She drew the sword and looked at it.  Funny how this stuff all came back to me when Gabrielle gave me a mouthful of the water from the Spirit Fountain on Mount Fujisaka even though I had buried it miles away.  Guess it must be such a strong a part of my earthly image that I always appear to be wearing it, unless I  ... take it off for a certain beautiful woman, she thought, looking fondly at her sleeping lover.

 

That water came with one sweet kiss too!  She grinned, savoring the memory of the bard’s nose rubbing hers as her lower lip caressed the warrior’s upper after the water had dribbled into her mouth.  The water (or maybe her kiss) gave me the strength to free myself from Yudoshi’s mental world and face him on even terms.  That’s truly how I was able to destroy him at last.  Before, anything I could do to him didn’t amount to more than a pinprick.  She smiled.  And again I have my sweet bard to thank for saving me.

 

The campfire sputtered and Xena glanced at it.  It’s dying out.  Could use a little more wood.  Concentrating her thoughts, she suddenly became solid and felt the world jump into sharper focus.  With a grunt, she fell several inches onto the log she had thought she was sitting on.  Still have trouble with that, she thought disgustedly.  Ah, gods.  The feel of air on her skin, the rough log she was now sitting on, an itch on the end of her nose, her feet planted firmly on the ground.  She scratched the itch, and shivered all over with the sensation.  Damn, that feels so good, she thought.  All the feelings I used to take for granted, or even worse, wished I didn’t have to feel.  Cold.  Hot.  Wet.  Dry.  The air rushing in and out of my lungs and the wind in my hair.  The cool pleasure of walking naked through a morning mist with my lover.  She was sad.  Yeah, I can see and hear these things all the time, but I can only feel it in these moments when I’m solid, and even then it’s not the same.

 

Xena picked up a stick, reveling in the textured feel of the bark.  She ran a finger down it and then smelled the dry woody aroma of the twig before putting it on the fire.  She added a few more and sat back smelling the pungent wood smoke and listening to the building crackle as the fresh fuel began to be consumed.

 

Now memories of other sensations filled her mind.  There was that first warm gulp from a mug of ale, or the crumbly salt-sharp taste of a piece of feta cheese.  Then there was the cloying sweet taste of honey baklava with nuts, or eggplant moussaka.  And food wasn’t all she remembered.  She stared down at her sleeping soulmate and felt a tremor run through her.  By the gods, she thought.  How I love the feel of Gabrielle’s hair when I rest my chin on her head, or her warm silky skin against mine.  Her soft smiling lips when she kisses, her loving and skilled hands, the sweet salty taste of her when we make love.  A tear ran down her cheek and she swallowed.  Even this, she thought sadly as she wiped the tiny drop of moisture from her face; the feel of my own tears.  I gave up so much to gain the power to kill Yudoshi.

 

Shaddup, you wimp!  You hurt over it, sure, but oh, by the gods.  You hurt Gabrielle even more.  Unwillingly, she remembered the stricken look on the young woman’s face when she understood finally, that Xena did not intend to let her revive her body by pouring her ashes into the Spirit Pool.

 

Then that last long minute when they sat, arm in arm watching the sunset of Xena’s last day on earth.  Whether they knew it or not, both of them were crying with sadness and joy.  For Gabrielle the tears were for the beauty of her dearest friend and lover’s sacrifice and because her heart was breaking.  Xena because she knew that she would at last find the peace that she sought so desperately, but that her peace was being bought at the price of her soulmates shattered heart.

 

Now, even more reluctantly, Xena thought back to what had happened after she had faded away with the last rays of the dying sun and left Gabrielle alone.  She still felt the misery and unhappiness of what had happened then.  I’m sorry my love, so sorry.  If there had been any other way to defeat Yudoshi and still come back alive to you…

 

* * *

 

“Gabrielle, please,” Xena cried, feeling more helpless than she ever had in her life.  “Please don’t cry, my love.  Please!  I’m right here beside you!  Can’t you see me?”

 

The small blond was sobbing wildly and stumbling drunkenly back and forth across the mountain clearing in front of Xena.  Her clothing was in charred tatters across the back where the fireball had struck her and bounced off.  Beneath, the tattoo of the sacred dragon that had protected her from the affects of the flame wound sinuously down her bare back.  She was clutching the urn that held the Warrior Princesses’ ashes in a death grip.

 

“Xena-Xena-Xena…” she wailed over and over, while ragged sobs shook her compact and beautiful body.

 

“Gabrielle!”  The warrior sobbed.  “I’m here, my love.  I’m right HERE!  Please don’t cry!  PLEASE!”

 

“I gave you my love, my compassion, my admiration.  I gave you my virginity and my blood innocence.  I gave you my life and died with you on the cross…” The bard continued to stumble about muttering to herself between whimpering Xena’s name.  “I even … I even gave you my daughter … my Hope…” The small woman’s voice was so choked with emotion that her murmured words were almost incomprehensible, but Xena understood them all.  Every word tore at her mind like thorns scratching against naked skin and she winced at each. 

 

“Gabrielle!”  Xena choked with remorse.  “Please LISTEN to me!”

 

The bard showed no signs of hearing her, her words continuing in a tortured moan.  “Even when you tried to kill me and almost succeeded, I accepted it and moved on…”

 

The warrior could stand no more.  She leaped in front of the staggering Gabrielle and poised herself in a blocking position.  As the small blond came blindly toward her, the Warrior Princess snarled helplessly, “Dammit, Gabrielle! Are you deaf?  Do I have to put the pinch on you to get you to STOP and LISTEN to me?”

 

The small woman came on and the warrior gritted her teeth in frustration.  “All right, honey, you asked for it!  Maybe this’ll wake you up!”  She reached for Gabrielle’s neck, but just as she would have made contact, the stumbling bard continued forward … and right on INSIDE of the startled warrior. Xena felt a rush of blinding heat as the bard passed into her and she felt almost as if she was fainting as the world seemed to spin.

 

Then the staggering bard had passed completely THROUGH her and on out behind still muttering and crying.  In a moment, when Xena had recovered, she turned to see that her lover had collapsed onto the ground in a heap near the canyon edge.

 

“What in Tartarus was that?  She walked right THROUGH me?” Xena was stunned and disorientated; she felt like staggering herself.  Then the truth sank in.  “Oh, by the gods,” she wailed.  “I can’t even TOUCH her!!” 

 

Slowly she went over to her soulmate and sank down to her knees in front of her, suddenly feeling too tired to move.  “Oh, Gabrielle…” she groaned, feeling a sob gather in her throat.  “I’m right here beside you, just like I promised, and you don’t even know it.”  Her voice caught.  “This isn’t even fair…”

 

Gabrielle’s eyes were unfocussed, tears ran down her cheeks and her voice was barely audible.  “All I ever asked … was to be beside you always … to the end of my life … following and helping … and … and loving you…”

 

“Oh, sweetheart…” Xena choked and looked down.  She couldn’t bear to see the hideous lost look on her lovers face. 

 

“…And what do you … go and … do for me…” The bard’s voice trailed off and there was silence for a moment, punctuated only by the bard’s ragged breathing.  Then that breathing stopped with a sudden intake of breath.  Scared at the silence, Xena looked hastily up into the bard’s face.

 

What she saw there froze her soul.  Before, the bard’s expression had been as drawn and lifeless as her voice.  Now naked emotions played across her friend’s face and chief among them was raw fury.  Xena was shocked and stood up in haste, looking worriedly down at her soulmate and lover.  “G-Gabrielle?”

 

“…And what do you go and do for me?” the bard whispered again and this time her voice was a poisonous hiss that tore at the warrior like a knife.

 

Xena swallowed a lump of pain.  She knew what was coming next, and she dreaded it.  Still, she was shocked when Gabrielle leaped blindly to her feet, her face inches from Xena’s startled eyes as she screamed, “You go and DIE, damn you!  You leave me BEHIND and go and DIE!”

 

She seemed to be looking directly into Xena’s face, and the warrior recoiled from her friend as the wide-eyed and staring bard shrieked, “I want to scream at you and CURSE you and POUND YOU for what you did!  You let them kill you and then you wouldn’t come back to me when you could have!”  She raised her face to the sky and howled,  “Damn you, oh, damn YOU!  DAMN YOUUUUUUUU!”

 

The warrior reeled at the words her soulmate was spewing.   She whispered brokenly, “But, I COULDN’T let you come with me … I wouldn’t have been able to stand watching you die with me, Gabrielle … I … I loved you more than my own life…”

 

“I HATE YOU!”  The bard roared as if in answer and Xena felt the words shrivel her soul.  “You said we’d always be together in life and even in death!  You lied!  I would have died gladly, JOYOUSLY at your side, but you sent me AWAYYYY…”

 

“Oh, my dear one…” Xena sobbed as she stumbled back from the bard and tried to close her ears, but she could hear each awful word like a dagger being plunged into her heart.

 

Gabrielle finally shrieked three words that echoed and bounced around the mountainside and her breath came in great sobbing gasps between each one.  “YOU … LEFT … MEEEE!” 

 

There was silence for a moment as the bard caught her breath and Xena dared to hope that the outburst of agony was over, but then the bard howled, “I’ve still got your ASHES, Xena!  But, I don’t want your stinking ASHES, I WANT YOU!  I LOVED YOU!” 

 

Numbly, the warrior watched as with clenched teeth, Gabrielle raised the urn containing her lover’s ashes above her head as if to throw it into the canyon below.

 

Then the echoes of her last words came back once again.  “Want you … LOVED YOU…” and they seemed to smash at the white-faced bard with their meaning.  She collapsed to her knees dropping the urn and beating at the ground with her fists and sobbing as if her heart was broken.

 

At length, her sobs lessened and she ceased beating at the ground.  The small blond gathered up the fallen urn and hugged it to her while softly keening her pain.

 

Xena felt as spent as her soulmate was.  Slowly she approached the small woman and tried to wrap herself around her friend as best she could without being able to touch her.  Oh, gods, Gabrielle, she thought desolately, what have I done to you?

 

* * *

 

Xena shook the heartrending memories loose and looked down at her sleeping soulmate and sighed.  That was one of the darkest nights I can ever remember having, but we got through it.  That night after you finally fell asleep, I learned how to control my ghost abilities.  To fade out, fade in, become solid.  It was hard, but using some of what Lao Ma taught me so long ago about focus I managed it.  I think that perhaps even Akemi and the spiritsouls gave me something as well, perhaps some of their essence, but whatever the reason, I did learn control and revealed myself to you the next day. 

 

She grinned with delight remembering the joyful look on Gabrielle’s face when the bard realized that Xena truly was still beside her and would be from then on.  They had left the mountainside then, traveled down to Higuchi and boarded a trading ship headed back for the Land of the Pharaohs.

 

Heh.  Gabrielle said she’d heard somewhere that they had need of a girl with a chakram.  Funny gal.  So here we are on our way there, with this side trip back to Greece to pick up Argo’s daughter first.  The warrior ghost was pensive.  It was great to see her again, even though she doesn’t seem to know me, even when I appear solid.  Unlike her mother, she seems to have taken a real shine to Gabrielle though, and that’s good since Gabrielle is the one who will have to ride her. 

 

Xena sighed.  But then, Argo’s daughter and I never formed the close bond that Argo and I had.  Gods, I miss that horse.  I wonder if she ever forgave me for just disappearing one day?  Sure she had Joxer, and I know he took good care of her, but she had to have felt betrayed by me, for not coming back.  Abandoned even.  She’s one of the things I missed most about that whole twenty-five year ice cave thing.  That and having lost out on seeing Eve grow up as well ... and … and losing mom too.  I’m glad she’s at peace now, but gods, I miss her so much.

 

Xena’s eyes glistened.  Damn the Olympian gods, anyway.  They would all be alive today if they had only have left us alone.  Eve was their death knell all right, but only because they kept trying to kill her.  I would have never killed them if they had only sat tight and waited to see what happened.  Idiots.  That whole damn twenty-five year nap thing is their fault anyway.  I lost my horse, my mother, my daughter, all my friends.  Gabrielle lost her parents and her younger sister is now the age she remembers her mother being.  Dammit, it just isn’t fair!

 

The warrior ghost shook herself.  Gods, I AM being maudlin tonight.  Too much time on my hands and since I don’t sleep, there’s no way to turn off my mind.  Grrr.  Get off it, Xena.  Think about something else.  Think about Gabrielle instead.

 

She loves me so much she wanted to carry that damn black urn with my ashes around with her for the rest of her life.  Yuck!  Then, once she realized she could see me anytime she wanted to, she didn’t feel the need to tote my ashes around anymore, thank Zeus.  I felt kinda creepy having that thing around anyway, she thought.  Probably she did too, now I think of it.  How would it feel with me standing there every day next to her, and sitting in that damn urn in her bedroll too?  Could prey on the mind.  It was my idea to pitch it, but when we were standing at the railing of the ship as Gabrielle poured my ashes into the sea in what should have been a symbolic gesture of freeing me, I actually did feel freer.  Funny.

 

It’s all been worth it to be with you, Gabrielle, she thought.  I sure wish we could be as we were before when we are together, but for everything there is a price.  Being a ghost at your side is mine.  She smiled tenderly.  And as long as I can still be with you even like this, guarding and protecting and loving you, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

At that moment, Xena felt something impinge at the extreme edges of her ghostly senses.  Something was out there in the woods that had not been there before.  Something at least human sized.  She felt towards it with her ghostly aura, but couldn’t get a good awareness for where or what it was.  She frowned.  Normally she could tell what she was sensing, be it man or beast.  This time she couldn’t and it worried her.  She glanced at Gabrielle.  The bard was sleeping with a small smile upon her face, and under her closed lids her eyes were moving as she dreamt.  So many nights Gabrielle had tossed and turned, crying out in her sleep with nightmares that relived her finding Xena’s headless hanging corpse in the Samurai’s stables, or the long sad time of burning of her friend’s body to ashes.

 

Go on with your happy dream my dear one, Xena thought.  They’re precious few and far between for you these days as it is.  I’m just glad it’s not a nightmare this time; you’ve had far too many these past months.  As for whatever you are out there, she thought grimly, that’s why I’m here.  And if you so much as blink in Gabrielle’s direction I’ll be YOUR worst nightmare.

 

Quickly going into full fade, Xena rose from the log without effort and floated up about a foot off the ground.  Then she flowed swiftly forwards toward where she felt the presence at the edge of her senses.  Whenever she appeared to Gabrielle or where others could see her, Xena moved in normal ways whether she was solid or in fade, for she wanted normal people to be as relaxed with her as possible.  However when she was fully faded, she rarely walked anywhere for she had found she could float her ghostly essence to get places faster.  She moved through the woods, passing through trees and bushes without effort and soon reached the area where she had felt the presence.  It was a small clearing, but there was nothing there but trees and grass.  Tensely the unseen warrior ghost floated there for several minutes, searching with her eyes and ears and other senses, but at last was forced to admit that she couldn’t pinpoint the feelings she was having.

 

All right, she thought angrily, I know yer here.  Now you’ve got me mad.  Using Lao Ma’s mind-channeling technique, she forced her ghostly senses to the utmost, and suddenly became aware of the other presence.  It was right in front of her, unseen!  Almost a man shape, but somehow different. 

 

Concentrating hard, she suddenly became solid and her feet hit the ground, as the world full of sensations seemed to crash in around her once again.  Focusing her mind to ignore the feelings, the Warrior Princess drew her sword with a soft shing of steel and spoke out loud.

 

“All right, whoever you are.”  She pointed the sword at the place where she felt the other presence hovering.  “I know you’re here.  Show yourself.  Now!”

 

There was a chuckle ahead of her and then a manlike shape began to shimmer into view.

 

As it became solid, Xena stared in disbelief and suddenly lost control of her aura.  She flickered in and out rapidly as she strove to keep herself solid.  Finally she managed to do so and raised a cool eyebrow.  “You?”  She said sourly.  “What do you want?  Last time I saw you, you were laughing your ass off and all wet.”

 

The newcomer merely stood there with his hands folded and a smile on his handsome face.  “Hello, Xena.”  He was bland.  “Been awhile.”

 

* * *

 

Something caused Gabrielle to come awake.  Cautiously, without moving or opening her eyes, she began listening with her heightened senses the way Xena had taught her.  She heard nothing strange in the night-sounds around her, but suddenly became aware that her head was pillowed against soft warm breasts and her arms were full of naked woman.  Carefully the bard raised her head and as she did, her eyes came in contact with a pair of startling blue orbs that were sparkling with love.

 

“G’morning, sleepy head.”  The Warrior Princess said.  One corner of her mouth was up.

 

Gabrielle was awake, but a bit puzzled.  “Xena?”  She looked around them.  Outside of a faint pre-dawn light in the east and a few morning birds calling sleepily, she saw nothing that seemed threatening and relaxed.  She looked back at her soulmate and nuzzled her neck, hugging her.  “This is a seriously nice way to wake up,” she chuckled, “but what’s going on?  Is everything all right?”

 

“Oh, you bet it is, it’s more than all right.” Xena grinned and continued, “Will you kiss me, my dear one?”

 

“Don’t mind if I do,” the bard smiled, “but you might.  I probably have a pretty good case of night mouth…”

 

“Kiss me, Gabrielle.” The warrior repeated in a whisper that throbbed with longing and love.  “Please, my love.”

 

The intensity and need in her soulmates voice made the bard shiver with want.  Swallowing, she attempted to cool off with a little humor.  “Never let it be said that the Battling Bard of Poteidaia refused any reasonable request from the Warrior Princess,” she grinned, bringing her face forward. 

 

Their lips met like two flowers opening in the sun.  They kissed long and gently, their mouths nibbling one another’s and their tongues softly exploring.  The kiss went on and on and ON, and Gabrielle felt as if she were floating away on a warm silky cloud of sweetness.  Her entire being felt tingly as if she were vibrating all over and she sighed into her soulmate’s mouth.

 

At last Xena began kissing her loved one’s face.  She planted butterfly soft kisses all over Gabrielle’s eyes, nose, chin, cheeks, mouth and neck and the petite woman responded in kind.  Now Xena began stroking the bard’s body as she kissed her mouth more and more passionately, moving herself against her lover.

 

Gabrielle felt Xena’s taut nipples against her own as the warrior’s breasts slid against hers and tore her mouth free.  “Oh my beloved…” she groaned.  “I want to make love to you so badly, b-but I don’t want to torment you…”

 

“Please, my dear one,” gasped the warrior, “Oh, please, Gabrielle … I NEED you…”

 

“Oh, sweetheart, sweetheart…” Hesitating no longer, the bard hungrily sought her soulmate’s lips, stroking her hands expertly over the bigger woman’s body.  They moved against one another and their warm bodies seemed to become one.

 

The bard kissed, nibbled and stroked with soft lips and smooth hands all over Xena’s body.  Over her breasts and belly, stroking her back and arms, nuzzling her thighs and kissing her navel and each fiery touch drew fresh gasps and shudders from the beleaguered warrior.

 

The feelings built as Gabrielle joyously took her beloved higher and higher until the panting warrior thought she couldn’t breathe.  At last she seemed to stand shuddering and lingering on the very peak as the bard lowered her face to Xena’s core and suddenly the warrior felt herself sliding faster and faster down the long, long hill into orgasm.  In ecstasy, she arched herself towards the bard, calling her lover’s name again and again, as her entire body seemed to burst into flaming flowers that blossomed and exploded and she screamed her love for her soulmate to the sky.

 

After it was over, Gabrielle lay joyfully kissing and stroking her gasping friend.  “Oh, Xena, Xena,” she whispered with tears running down her cheeks. “Oh, my love.  You did it.  You stayed solid for me!”  She hugged the Warrior Princess tightly to her.  “Talk about your many skills.  Even as a ghost you continue to amaze me.”

 

“You amazed ME,” sighed the warrior stretching luxuriously.  “By the gods, dear one.  I think you just melted down my whole insides.”

 

“Thank you,” blushed the petite woman. “But you gotta tell me, Xena.  How did you do it?  Usually by now you would have faded but you are still solid.  Especially here,” she whispered, kissing one of her lover’s still taut nipples. 

 

Xena shivered.  “Oooo, stoppit,” she groaned.  “I don’t think I can take anymore right now...” 

 

“Then ya better tell me or I’ll just hav’ta keep going,” snickered the bard nibbling at another tempting spot.  “Was it Lao Ma’s training that finally kicked in?”

 

Xena shivered at the nibble and tilted her lover’s face up and away from the target so that she could look into the green eyes.  “Well, I did cheat just a tiny bit…” She smiled, rubbing her nose against Gabrielle’s.

 

“This I have GOT to hear…” Gabrielle grinned, kissing her back.  “So tell me already.”

 

“Well,” said the warrior softly, “it was like this…”

 

* * *

 

“All right, whoever you are.”  Xena pointed the sword at the place where she felt the other presence hovering.  “I know you’re here.  Show yourself.  Now!”

 

There was a chuckle ahead of her and then a manlike shape shimmered into view.

 

At sight of it, Xena stared in disbelief and suddenly lost control of her aura.  She flickered in and out rapidly as she strove to stay solid.  Finally she managed to do so and raised a cool eyebrow.  “You?”  She said sourly.  “What do you want?  Last time I saw you, you were laughing your ass off and all wet.”

 

The newcomer merely stood there with his hands folded and a smile on his handsome face.  “Hello, Xena.”  He was bland.  “Been awhile.”

 

The man had calm blue eyes and golden hair.  He wore an armored breastplate. Below, a short skirt-type garment left his legs bare except for golden greaves and sandals.  At his side hung a gleaming silver sword.  Most strangely, behind him two large greenish-white wings stood out high over his shoulders moving as if in a gentle breeze.

 

“Michael.”  She bit off the word. “The head archangel of Heaven.”

 

“The very same.  You look fit, Xena … considering you’re dead.”  His smile was disarming.  “It’s been awhile since we last met.” 

 

“Not long enough, Michael,” she grunted, still holding the sword pointed at him.  “Look, I know you archangels are busy, so if you’ve come to gloat, go ahead, get it over with, and buzz off back to Heaven.  I’m sure you have things to do.”

 

“For two comrades in the fight against Hell, there’s not much love lost between us, is there?”  He said quietly.

 

“Not much,” the warrior ghost agreed with a growl. “I will concede that my trying to drown you was drastic, but I was pissed off at the time because you tried to kill Eve.”

 

“Xena,” the archangel said reasonably.  “Do you think that if I had really wanted to kill your daughter, that she would still be alive?”  He shrugged.  “The plan was to get you mad enough to kill Caligula before he drained Aphrodite’s powers and became a god, and it worked … after a fashion.”

 

Xena grimaced.  “If that was the case, then Heaven shouldn’t have taken away my power to kill gods before I got to him.  And he DID drain her powers!”

 

Michael grinned disarmingly.  “Well, I’ll admit that it didn’t quite go the way we had planned, but it DID work and Caligula is enjoying Tartarus now.  It’s not quite Hell, but it will do.”  He smiled.  “And thanks to you, Aphrodite got her powers back as well.”  He scratched his nose.  “Unfortunately, Ares did too, but we won’t quibble.”

 

“Oh, goody,” the warrior growled.  “That makes me feel ever so much better about it.”  She returned her sword to the sheath and stood calmly.  “All right, Michael,” she said finally.  “You’re here.  Get to it.  What do you want?”

 

“I’ve been sent to ask you a question.” His voice was quiet.

 

The warrior ghost studied the archangel for a moment, then shrugged.  “Why not?”  She leaned against a tree trunk, savoring the firm feel of the rough bark against her.  “So ask.”

 

“All right.”  The archangel smiled then his face became serious.  “Here’s the question.  ‘Why are you still here?’”

 

At the question, Xena felt her heart rate speed up, but she kept her expression bland.  “What do you mean by that?”  She asked carefully, playing for time as her mind raced.

 

 “Just what I said. ‘Why are you still here?’” Michael was impassive as he continued.   “You know that you don’t belong with Gabrielle this way.”

 

At these words, the warrior ghost dropped all pretence of misunderstanding.  She leaped into a forward flip over the angel who spun to face her with a flurry of wings.  As she landed she whipped out her sword and held it point first under his chin.  “Don’t even think about it,” she growled in a voice like rocks breaking.  “I may not be able to kill you, but I’ll bet you can be hurt.  You are NOT gonna separate Gabrielle and me!  She’s not dead, but just because I am, I’m not gonna go to Heaven, Hell, Tartarus, the Elysian Fields or anywhere else and leave her here alone.  I’ve already made her suffer enough by dying!”

 

The archangel merely cocked his head and looked at her.  He said nothing, his expression unreadable.

 

Xena glared at him fiercely, but he didn’t even blink.  Slowly she found herself lowering the sword away from his throat of her own volition.  After a moment she put it away again and he smiled.  She swallowed.  “Michael, please.”  Her eyes filled and her voice was pleading.  “I promised Gabrielle that I would always be beside her for as long as she lived, and I will be damned to Hell before I hurt her more by leaving for good.”

 

The archangel sighed.  “As usual, I see that we are not communicating well.”  He shook his head, causing his golden locks to fly about.  “I suspect this is as much my fault as it is yours.”  He looked at her and his voice was kindly.  “Let me put it another way.  I asked, ‘Why are you still here?’ when perhaps I should have said, ‘Why are you a ghost?’”

 

Xena was bewildered.  “B-Because I died fighting Yudoshi’s army on earth so that I could become a spirit and fight him in the Darklands.”

 

Michael spread his hands.  “Xena.  You shouldn’t BE dead.  It was not yet the time for you to die.”

 

The warrior ghost stared at him.  “B-But how can that be true, I DID die…”

 

“Xena, your death was not required by God at that time, it was only required by you for your own peace of mind.”  The angel spread his wings and smiled.  “God loves you. All of Heaven does.”

 

“B-But I thought that because I tried to kill you, that…”

 

“That Heaven had forsaken you?”  The archangel shook his head.  “Xena.  It was you who first saved His messenger Eli and set him on the path of Love when you met him in India.  Later you and Gabrielle were both crucified to save Eli again so that he could spread the word of Love.”

 

He spread his hands.  “After you ascended, in Heaven you both bathed in the waters of Purity and were washed clean.  You became an archangel, as did Gabrielle.  You redeemed Callisto’s soul and allowed her to be reborn as your daughter Eve, who would spread the word of Eli still further after he was gone.  You were the protector of the faithful.  You killed the demon Mephistopheles and cast the fallen angel Lucifer down into Hell.  You brought your daughter out from under Ares control and slayed the other Greek gods when they would have killed Eve to keep her from spreading Eli’s word.”  Michael was gentle.  “After all that, did you really think that the Lord would turn his face from you for trying to kill me in a fit of rage over your daughter?”

 

Xena grunted.  “What else could I think? When I tried to drown you and the power to kill gods was taken from me, I thought I was being punished for what I tried to do to you…”

 

“Punished?  To forgive is divine, Xena.  No.  Heaven merely decided that it was past the time when any human needed that power anymore, so it was taken from you.”  He smiled wryly.  “I will say I was QUITE grateful for the timing.”

 

The warrior raised an eyebrow.  “I’ll bet you were.  I was furious at the time, but when I thought about it afterwards, I was glad I didn’t kill you.  You kept me from jumping into Hell with Gabrielle, and for that I’ll always be grateful.  But I sure could’a used that power later against Caligula, and the second time I tangled with Odin to get the Golden Apples.  As it was, I had to trick both of them, but it finally worked out.”  She sighed.  “If I had still had that power when I went up against Yudoshi maybe I wouldn’t have had to die to kill him and then stay dead afterward to free the spiritsouls.”

 

“But you didn’t have to.”  The archangel smiled and Xena stared at him. 

 

“The Hell I didn’t,” she burst out.  “I HAD to redeem myself!”

 

The angel shook his head sadly.  “Some people have to accept redemption in their own eyes before they can accept it from the Lord, but He does not require it.  God has always loved you and forgiven you, Xena, even as he does us all if we truly forsake evil for good.  He knows your heart is full of goodness and He let you do what you felt you needed to, to atone in your own mind.”

 

“In my own mind?”  Xena ground out through clenched teeth.  “Dammit, Michael!  Who else do you think was to blame for everything that happened in Japa?  Because I loved Akemi, I taught her the pressure point skills with no thought to make sure she would use them wisely.  So she killed her own father with the skill I taught her!”  Tears clouded her vision and she dashed them angrily away. 

 

“Because her father was dishonored by killing his own family, he became Yudoshi, lord of the Darklands.  Because of the dishonor of killing her father, Akemi committed Seppuku and I had to … to…”

 

Her voice broke and she went on raggedly without finishing.  “Then because I failed to bring her ashes to her families shrine in Higuchi, she was doomed to find no peace and was held captive by Yudoshi and forced to help him gather souls.  Finally, I was responsible for the fire that killed the forty thousand innocents who became Yudoshi’s spirit slaves who suffered for over thirty years!  My GOD, Michael!  Those lost souls needed vengeance on me!  Why WOULDN’T I need to atone?”  Tears were running down her cheeks now and she shook all over.

 

The archangel put a gentle hand on her shoulder and she flinched.  He paid no attention and his voice was kind.  “Xena, while you were still in Greece defending Amphipolis against the warlord Cortese, Akemi’s father made his own choice to kill his entire family but her.  When you met, Akemi made her choice to learn your skills and use them to kill him, and then to kill herself.”  Michael looked sad.  “The people of Higuchi also made a choice when they attacked you for trying to bring Akemi’s ashes to the shrine.  In your drunken grief over Akemi’s loss, you defended yourself, minimally I might add, and accidentally started the fire that destroyed the city.  You did not set out to do so, it was an accident.”

 

The raven-haired ghost stared at the archangel who spoke gently.  “As much as you may wish to, you can’t take ALL the credit for this horror, Xena.  For no one person is responsible in this.  All who were involved share a part of the blame for the things that happened.”

 

Xena felt a huge sob gathering in her chest, and covered her face with her hands.  “Then I charged into Yudoshi’s army, let myself be killed and kept Gabrielle from bringing me back, all … for … NOTHING?!?”

 

Michael lightly pulled her hands down and she stared at him through tear filled eyes.  “No, Xena.  Between causing that fire oil to explode and in your final act of dying, you killed so many of them that you destroyed that army’s will to fight.  When they realized the fact that you, one lone woman had cut such a swath through them, they lost heart.  Afterward when they attacked Higuchi, the town militia managed to drive them off and many more lives were saved.  Then you became a spirit warrior and killed Yudoshi and freed the spiritsouls he had kept in torment for so long.” 

 

Xena wiped at her eyes as Michael went on.  “So you see, it was NOT all for nothing.  But now with Yudoshi gone, those spirits he held ARE free.  They don’t need vengeance on you.  They are free to go on and be reborn.”  He smiled.  “And Xena, you had already redeemed yourself a thousand times over when you died on the cross and have done nothing but good ever since.  You are free to return to life.”

 

The warrior swallowed.  “B-But how?  My body has been destroyed.”  Her voice was low.  “Even my ashes are gone.  We poured them in the sea and even threw the urn overboard on the way here.”

 

“Xena, do you really think if God wants you to have your body back, that He needs the cast off ashes from your corpse?”  Michael’s expression was kind. “You and Gabrielle have much, much more to do for the greater good here on earth before you are called to rejoin us in Heaven and take your rightful places as archangels again.”

 

Xena stared at Michael, her mouth hanging open as he continued.  “Besides, you and your soulmate have not yet come to your time of peace on earth.  That day when you both lay down your weapons at last and live for one another alone.”

 

A tear slid down her cheek and Xena stammered.  “P-Peace?  We ... we really get to live in peace … t-together?”

 

The angel inclined his head.  “After all the good you’ve done, don’t you think you deserve it?”

 

The warrior grimaced, remembering whispered words that she had sometimes overheard when she and Gabrielle passed people in towns or markets.  Words about two women traveling alone being unnatural, and perverted.  “I’ve heard some who would say that we didn’t…” 

 

“Humans don’t always see things clearly, as you well know, Xena.  They let their fear of the unknown, or their doubts of themselves rule their lives.”  Michael looked to the heavens and spoke with conviction.  “To God, one of the greatest beauties on earth is true love between two of His children.  It doesn’t matter to Him who the people are so long as they truly care for and love one another … as you and Gabrielle do.”  He smiled and his eyes were kind.  “So, the only question remaining is, do you WANT to come back to the ranks of the living?”

 

“Do I WANT to?”  Xena felt herself trembling.  “Are you CRAZY?”

 

His eyes twinkled. “I don’t believe that I am, but it’s your life.  I AM required to ask…”

 

Xena swallowed.  She wanted this.  Oh, how she wanted it, but a tiny doubt remained in her mind.  Nervously she remembered all the stories where wishes always ended in tragedy.  “And ... And I would be f-fully alive once more?  As … As if I had never died?”

 

Michael’s expression was angelic.  “In every way both good AND bad that having a physical body brings, but this time you will be at peace with yourself.”

 

The warrior took a deep breath, then shuddered.  Her voice was firm.  “What do I need to do?”

 

“Just take my hand.”

 

She looked at him for a long moment, then breathing deeply, she took the archangel’s proffered hand and clasped it firmly.  For a moment she felt nothing, then goose bumps began erecting the tiny hairs on her arm and an unpleasant pins and needles sensation began to flow from her hand up her arm.  “Michael,” she gasped.

 

His face was tranquil and his voice calm and soothing.  “Fear not, the Lord is with you.”

 

Taking a deep breath, Xena nodded and resolved to ignore the pain, instead studying the sensations.  At first they spread slowly, but then began moving faster and faster.  On up her arm, into her shoulder, into her chest until they moved with a sudden rush through her entire body like a sudden explosion of shivering and her teeth chattered.  She hissed and closed her eyes against the painful feeling of her whole body being asleep and then coming awake rapidly.  She tingled with tiny waves of pinpricks all over her skin, even in her face.  Even her hair hurt and she thought she would scream, but bit it back.  Then … the feelings vanished as quickly as they had come and Xena swayed with relief.

 

She heard night birds calling and felt a breeze ruffle her hair; the cool night air flowed everywhere all over her body and soft dewy grass was between her toes.  Her eyes flew open and she looked down.  She was completely naked.  Her sword, armor and clothing, even her boots were gone and they were nowhere in sight.  Apparently they had been mere ghostly copies of the objects, and now that she was not a ghost, she was ... ahem. No longer dressed for a trip to the marketplace.

 

Somewhat embarrassed, she looked up at Michael, but the archangel was nowhere in sight.  However his voice echoed around her.  “Farewell, Xena, until you, and Gabrielle and I all meet at the gates of Heaven and you take your rightful places among the angelic host once more.”

 

Tears of joy filled her eyes and she whispered, “Thank you, oh thank you!”  There was no answer, but somehow she knew that her words had been heard.

 

The cool night breeze suddenly swept across Xena’s nude body and gave her goose bumps.  She shivered and felt her nipples stand up.  Alive, she thought, her heart swelling with elation.  OH … MY … GOD!  I AM alive!!

 

The Warrior Princess breathed deeply of the woody scents of forest and plants and looked around the clearing for a moment.  She dug her bare toes into the grass and loam and shivered at the sensation.  ALIVE!  Then with a huge grin on her face, she softly cried “Sheee-YIP!” as she went into a series of back flips across the clearing that ended in a flying double split-kick. 

 

As she landed, she ran at full speed towards a nearby tree trunk and on up it’s side.  About ten feet from the ground, she did a back flip off of it to fly spinning higher through the air to the branch of another tree nearby.  Gaining this perch with no effort, she began bouncing on it, then suddenly flipped to the next branch up to hang by her knees from it. Then she ‘skinned-the-cat’ and began spinning around and around the branch with her body straight out and her raven hair streaming out behind her.  After a number of circuits, she did a spinning flip off of the branch into mid-air and landed softly on the ground some twenty feet below grinning like a simpleton.  Tah-Dahhh!  She thought, almost drunk with joy.  Damn, that felt good!  I didn’t have to concentrate at all; I could just DO it!  I’m back!  I’m really, really BACK!!!

 

Then her face lit up.  Gabrielle!  Oh, GODS!  GABRIELLE!  She began running back toward the campfire and her soulmate, feeling giddy.  As she had many times as a ghost, she tried to take a short cut by passing through a tree on the way.  She would have smashed straight into the trunk had her outstretched, swinging hand not brushed it a split second before she did so and she came to a screeching halt.  She touched the hard, rough bark with her fingertips and gulped.  That would’a hurt; gonna hav’ta watch that, she thought wryly.  Won’t be as easy to get around in these places as it has been up till now, but then I guess you can get used to anything.

 

As she neared the camp, Xena slowed to a walk and frowned.  This is liable to be a bit of a shock to Gabrielle, she thought.  Better break it easy to her.  Now how can I … she stopped about ten feet from the bard’s bedroll.  It was a cool night, but not cold and Gabrielle was lying curled up on her side.  She was still naked from their earlier exertions and the blanket was just loose around her.

 

The warrior grinned to herself.  Got it.  Good thing she’s always been a sound sleeper.  Softly she approached the bard.

 

* * *

 

“So that’s how it all happened,” Xena chuckled.  “I kinda skoozled my way into your arms, (lots to enjoy during that, I’ll tell you), and then I lay there for awhile holding you till you woke up and welcomed me back.”  She shivered and grinned, rumpling the bard’s short hair.  “And oooo, what a welcome that was, my love.” 

 

The bard said nothing, and the warrior became aware that her small friend was staring at her with a blank expression. 

 

“Gabrielle?  Didja hear me?”

 

“Yeah,” said the bard, still blank faced.  “So … yer alive then?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Not a ghost anymore?  You’re really alive?”  The small woman’s voice was calm, perhaps too calm.

 

“Really truly,” Xena grinned, “And, I might add, feeling like a million dinars thanks to you, oh, bard of many talents.”

 

Gabrielle said nothing.  Still stared blankly at her friend.  Then the small woman began to tremble.  A spasm shook her like a dog with a bone and her expression crumpled.  A tear crept down her cheek. Followed by another, and yet another. Then she sobbed as the tears turned into a flood.

 

Xena was shocked.  “Gabrielle.  What is it?  Are you all right?”

 

Without warning, the petite blond threw herself onto the bigger woman and they both went down with the bard on top. She sobbed as she pushed herself against Xena as if trying to climb inside her skin.  Her hot wet tears scalded their way down across the warrior’s bare chest.  “You’re alive, you’re alive, you’re alive…” she choked, seemingly unable to say anything else.

 

Xena stroked her friend and kissed her.  “Yes, my love, yes, my sweet, yes, my dear one.  I am, I truly am.  Please don’t cry, Gabrielle.  I just didn’t know how to break it to you.  Don’t be mad.  Forgive me, please?”

 

The bard smiled through her tears.  “FORGIVE you?”  She was bewildered.  “I’m just so happy that you’re really, truly alive again, sweetheart.  Oh, kiss me, please.  Just kiss me and never stop.”

 

“Really?  Yer not angry with me for fooling you then?”  The warrior was still worried.

 

The bard punched her friend lightly.  “REALLY, you goof!  These are tears of utter joyful happiness!  Now KISS me!”  She pressed her lips to Xena’s and they cried together through the kiss.  At last Gabrielle pulled back and pressed her wet cheek to Xena’s and they held one another endlessly rocking back and forth and murmuring words of their love.

 

* * *

 

It was early next morning on a cliff side by the Aegean sea.  Argo’s daughter, already saddled and loaded, was cropping the dewy grass nearby.  Gabrielle was in her latest outfit of short red skirt and top, silver link belt, boots with her Sai’s tucked in the tops, the chakram and katana at her side.  Xena was wearing some new black leathers with silver armor facings, black leather trousers with large silver studs and boots that they had bought in a nearby village the day before.  A serviceable sword was slung over her shoulder.  

 

The two lovers had broken camp early before dawn to come to this place and watch the sun come up.  The last time they had been here, was at sunset on Gabrielle’s birthday a year or so before.  The view was lovely, and held good memories for them.  Now, gulls circled and screamed and dolphins danced in the waves far below.  As the golden orb of the sun rose from the depths of the sea to flood the landscape with light the bard turned to the warrior and smiled.

 

“Last time we were here, you gave me that scroll with that beautiful love poem from Sappho…”

 

“What, that one that didn’t rhyme?”  Xena frowned.  “I think I was ripped off.  I never understood how a so-called great poet like Sappho couldn’t even make your birthday poem rhyme.  Even I can…”  She grinned and quoted, “‘Roses are red, violets are blue, Gabrielle loves me and I love her too.’  That’s easy!”

 

Gabrielle sighed and shook her head.  “Xena, Sappho wrote a beautiful poem and I loved it.  Poetry doesn’t always have to rhyme, we’ve been over this before…” She stopped suddenly and glared at the warrior who was snickering at her.

 

“Gotcha,” she grinned.

 

“When will I ever learn?”  The petite blond groaned. 

 

“Never, I hope.”  The warrior said tenderly.

 

Gabrielle smiled and her nose crinkled.  “Anyway,” she said, “Since we’re here, I think I’d like to give you something I’ve been keeping for you for awhile now.”  She took the chakram from its hook on her belt.  Balancing the weapon in both hands, she held it out towards Xena.  “Here, beloved.  This is yours.  It always has been.  I think now it’s time you took it back.”

 

Xena smiled, but didn’t take it.  She shook her head.  “It belongs to you now, my dear one.  I left it to you when I died, and I want you to have it.”

 

“But you are alive again, and it has always belonged to you, ever since the first day we met and I decided to follow you … please, Xena, I really want you to have it.”  Gabrielle handed the chakram to her friend.

 

Slowly, Xena took the weapon and held it up to the sun peeping over the sea and the gold and gemstones trimming it sparkled with the light.  “You know, that was the best, the luckiest day of my life,” she murmured.  “I was at the end of my rope.  Finished.  I was gonna hang it all up.”  She looked tenderly at the bard.  “Would have if it hadn’t have been for a certain stubborn kid who followed me in spite of myself.”

 

Gabrielle smiled and her eyes shone with love.

 

The Warrior Princess returned the look.  “So my dear one, from now on, I want us to share this as we share our lives, this chakram ‘ring’ of gold and silver which in the beginning brought us together.” 

 

The bard swallowed, then spoke softly. “Yes, oh, yes, my love.”

 

Xena gazed at her soulmate; her blue eyes full of feeling, then suddenly spun and hurled the chakram at a nearby tree. “Heads up, Gabrielle!”  She shouted as the weapon whirled away.  The bard looked at her for a split second, then nodded and set herself.   The chakram sang as it ricocheted off the tree trunk with a buzz-saw whine.  As it did, it separated into its two halves and spun away, each half going in a different direction.

 

The two halves of the chakram each caromed off of a different surface and were suddenly spinning back at the two women.  At the same precise instant, each woman caught one half of the hurtling weapon and dropped it onto her belt hook.  In the sudden silence that fell, they looked at one another.

 

Xena swallowed and stroked the side of the bard’s face.  “Gabrielle.  You and I are each half of the other’s soul.  Incomplete without one another, like the chakram.  I cannot be whole without you.”

 

Tears shone in the green eyes.  “And I can’t be whole without you, Xena.”

 

The warrior reached out, with her hands palm up and after a slight hesitation, Gabrielle put her hands on top of her friend’s.

 

Holding the bard’s hands, Xena sank to her knees in front of the small woman.   “Gabrielle, my dear one,” her voice was husky with love.  “Considering that we’ve finally just given one another a ‘ring’, I want to give you my vow.  I promise that I will always be at your side as your mate from now on, for the rest of our lives and beyond, loving, living, and sharing whatever the fates have in store for us … together.”  The warrior looked up at the bard through brimming eyes and her voice trembled.  “W-Will you join me in this vow, my love?”

 

Tears of joy were streaming down the bard’s face.  “Yes, my darling, oh, yes.”  Still holding hands, she knelt in front of her lover and spoke firmly through her tears.  “Xena, my beloved, I vow and promise to always be at your side as your mate, going where you go, in sickness or health, come what may, in this life and the next, forever.”

 

Xena found herself crying as well.  “And even in death, Gabrielle, I promise that we will never again be parted.”

 

“Not even by death,” whispered the bard.

 

The kneeling soulmates hugged one another and kissed gently with love for a long moment and the now fully risen sun seemed to outline them both in a halo of golden morning light.

 

“Ya know,” Xena said, resting her chin on the top of Gabrielle’s head and holding her tightly. “It just occurred to me.  Recently a sunset ended my earthly life with you, therefore it seems appropriate that a sunrise begins our lives together once more.”

 

“Xena,” the bard snuggled closer.  “You say I’m supposed to be the one with the poetic side, but that was beautiful.”

 

“But it didn’t rhyme...” the warrior smirked, then oofed as the bard fisted her soundly in the side.  She looked a bit worriedly at her soulmate for a moment.  “Are you sure us being life-mates is what ya want, honey?  You know I can be a real witch to live with sometimes.”

 

“Oh, Xena.”  Gabrielle lifted her face to the warrior’s, and looked deep into the blue eyes that she had adored and cried for and followed for so long.  “I have never wanted it any other way.”

 

“Oh, gods, Gabrielle.  Me either.”  They kissed again for a moment, then stood up arm in arm and looked out at the lovely vista of land and sea all around them.

 

Finally the bard stirred.  “Well, it’s about time to get going, I guess.  We have a long trip ahead of us to Corinth.”  She whistled and Argo’s daughter trotted up, seeming eager and ready to go.  The horse looked at both women, and then walked directly to Gabrielle, pointedly ignoring Xena.  The blond patted her muzzle and the mare nickered.  “Huh; only one horse.  This is gonna be like old times.  You go ahead and ride, I’ll walk till we can find another horse for me.”

 

Xena shook her head.  “Nope.  This one and I never hit it off too well.  She let me ride her, but she wasn’t happy.  Now I think she’s finally made her decision.  I think you belong to her.”

 

“Me?  But, Xena…” the bard started to protest.  Just then the mare nuzzled against her chest and snuffled as if looking for something to eat.  Surprised and pleased in spite of herself, Gabrielle stroked the horse’s muzzle.  “Do you really like me?”  She asked the horse.

 

The golden horse whickered as if in agreement and the bard’s nose wrinkled as a grin spread across her face.

 

“Yep, I’d say you’ve been claimed,” Xena smiled.  “Ya might as well go with it.  Better give her a name while yer at it.  Can’t go on calling her ‘Argo’s Daughter’ forever.”

 

“Really?”  The bard looked delighted.  “Wh-What shall I call her?” 

 

“Up to you,” the warrior shrugged.  “I’d suggest making it a name that means something special to you.”

 

Gabrielle hesitated.  “My pony when I was a child, was called ‘Timpani’… I could call her ‘Timpani Two’…” She stopped as the golden horse laid her ears flat, squinted her eyes and backed off.  As the women watched she trotted away about twenty feet to turn and look challengingly at them. “Or, not…” The bard screwed her face up in thought.

 

Xena watched the horse moving proudly in the sunlight and her voice was soft.  “Watch her move, Gabrielle.  She’s certainly got style.  Didja ever see such a beautiful animal?  She’s got Argo’s great lines; even her perfect proportions…”

 

“Yeah,” said the marveling bard. “Just look at her!  She moves like a beautiful piece of poetry…” Then her face suddenly came alive.  “That’s it, Xena!” 

 

“What is?”  The raven-haired woman was puzzled.

 

“Her name, Xena!  They way she moves, her beautiful lines!”  She looked at the horse with excitement and called,  “How about naming you, ‘POETRY’?”  At the sound of the word, the horse’s ears came up and she whinnied and raised her head high, prancing proudly in a circle. 

 

Gabrielle clapped her hands to see the golden mare stepping so proudly.  “Come, Poetry! Come on girl…” she called and without hesitation the horse came dancing up and nuzzled her possessively as the bard ran her hands gently over her neck and hugged her.  “Good girl, Poetry, beautiful girl…” she whispered and the golden horse made a contented chuckling sound in her throat.

 

“Looks like ‘Poetry’ it is,” Xena grinned, and the mare whickered in agreement and blew through her nostrils. “Well, now that it’s unanimous,” the warrior laughed, “Let’s do things the other way around this time, Gabrielle,” she smiled.  “You can ride and I’ll walk. I think it’s your turn by now anyway.”

 

“I have a better idea,” Gabrielle said, mounting the big mare fluidly.  She looked down at Xena with a grin and offered her a hand up behind.  “I think it would feel really nice for YOU to hang onto ME for a change.”

 

“Okay, miss Smarty-Bard,” laughed the Warrior Princess. “We’ll do it your way.”  She took the bard’s hand and pulled herself quickly up behind her.  Once there, she slid her arms around her soulmate and cupped her breasts, pulling the smaller woman tightly back against her.  “Mmmm.”  She sighed.  “No wonder you always liked this position.  All those years you kept this to yourself?  Some friend.”

 

Gabrielle leaned into Xena’s warm embrace and sighed.  “Look who’s talkin’!  Oooo, yeah.  I think I have the best of the deal again.”  She turned her head to the grinning warrior and they kissed for a long time with no signs of stopping.  Finally, Poetry whinnied impatiently and moved a couple of sharp dancing steps sideways.  The jouncing caused the women’s teeth to click together and they broke the kiss.

 

“Hey, come on, now,” the Warrior Princess said sourly to the horse.  “Yer not gonna be jealous of the other woman like yer mom was, are ya?”  The golden mare snorted and stamped as if in derision.

 

“Looks like someone would rather have ME all to herself,” snickered the bard.  “That’s too funny!”

 

“Well, Argo got used to sharing me with you.”  Xena grumped.  “Miss Poetry here, will have to learn to share you with ME, cause I‘m not goin’ anywhere that you aren’t already headed.”

 

“You sure aren’t,” said the bard firmly as she started the horse forward.  “I won’t LET you.”

 

As they gained the shore road, Xena said,  “So, once we get to Corinth, are we still headed for the Land of the Pharaohs?”

 

“Yeah, why not?”  Gabrielle grinned over her shoulder.  “I’ve heard they have a need for two gal’s who share a chakram!”

 

Xena laughed out loud and squeezed her lover’s taut waist.  “’Share-a-chakram?’  Now THAT was poetic!”  Then she nuzzled the bard’s neck and whispered with love.  “Lead the way, my dear one, for whither thou goest from now on, there will I always follow.”

 

“Oh, sweetheart, that was beautiful,” Gabrielle gulped, her heart filling so full of love that she thought it would burst.  “We’ll make a poet out of you yet.” 

 

“Sure,” the raven-haired woman grinned.  “From now on, I’ll take a turn at being the bard and you can be the butt-kicking warrior.”

 

The two soulmates broke into laughter as the bard urged Poetry into a trot and they rode towards their future in the brilliant light of the new day.

 

The New Beginning…

 

(Bill the Semi Bard, July 20, 2001)