COPYRIGHT DICLAIMER:

 

Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

 

NOTE:

 

All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.

 

DISCLAIMER:

 

I believe Xena and Gabrielle are the sweetest of lovers and have been almost since they met, so I write them that way.  If you really hate this idea or are under 18, go find some Gen-Fanfic to read, there are plenty of really good ones out there.  The rest of you settle in and (hopefully) enjoy.

 

SPOILERS: 

 

There are many for the season 1 episode, Warrior…Princess.

 

FEEDBACK: Send comments burnt or lightly under-done to:  [email protected]

 

AUTHORS NOTE: 

 

This is the fourth in the series of my alt-Xena stories.  It is preceded by my stories, Dream Lover, Ripples in the Stream and A Fistful of Troubles.  It can be read as a stand-alone, but you may enjoy it more if you have read them first.  This story is written from Gabrielle’s POV of the 1st season Xena episode, Warrior…Princess.

 

* * *

Bard of the Warrior and Princess

By WLMcCord (Bill the Semi Bard), Copywrite, 4-30-2001

 

At the empty crossroads in the middle of the Greek kingdom of Treus, stood two women and a golden palomino mare.  One woman was tall and dark with raven black hair.  She was muscular, wore dark armor with brass facings and had a sword slung over her shoulder.  At her side hung a strange circular hoop with a sharp outer edge and she held the reins of the big horse loosely in one hand.  The other woman had red-gold hair and was dressed in a peasant-type traveling outfit, which consisted of boots, a burnt orange top and a short skirt of matching color.  The top had a V-neck trimmed in blue and left her slim but muscular arms bare.  In her hand she held a fighting staff trimmed with a tuft of white fur at one end. 

 

The two women were standing close together, looking deep into one another’s eyes.  The warrior woman’s were a deep and startling blue, while the redhead’s were light green as the sea.  They stood for a moment each looking at the other, then the warrior dropped the reins and put her arms around the redhead, who responded by burying her face in the taller woman’s chest and hugging her back fiercely.  After a moment, the short woman looked up into the face of her companion who cupped her cheeks and brought her mouth slowly down onto the waiting lips.

 

Xena kissed Gabrielle long and deeply, which left them both breathing hard and clinging to each other.

 

“Do you have to go?” The bard was plaintive as she offered warm lips to her partner once more.

 

“No,” said the big warrior affectionately brushing her mouth against her partner’s. “But you know I’ve been called to see king Lias and I really shouldn’t keep him waiting.  I’ve heard that he’s a good man; against the slave trade and like a father to his subjects here in Treus.  I ought to see what he wants, don’t you think?”

 

“Oh, I suppose so,” muttered the petite redhead.  “But why can’t I go with you?”

 

Xena looked judicious.  “Gabrielle, if I have heard wrong and there IS any problem, I may have to fight my way out of the castle.  I’d just as soon not put you in danger; you’ll be safer here.”

 

“If it came to a fight, I could help you…”

 

The warrior smiled and her eyes were tender.  “Sweetheart, thank you; I appreciate that. But one can get out easier than two.”  She hugged the smaller woman to her again and rested her chin on the red hair.  “Look.  Up ahead a few miles is a village.  Beyond it, there’s an old abandoned temple on the right fork of the north road.  Once past the village, you can easily get to the temple in an hour or so.”  She bent her head and whispered in the bard’s ear.  “I’ll meet you there either tonight or tomorrow night, all right, my dear one?”  She kissed the ear softly.  Xena had called Gabrielle her ‘dear one’ the very first time they had made love, and the words had never failed to make her partner melt inside. 

 

“Not fair,” she whimpered, hugging the warrior tightly and nuzzling her neck.  “You know what it does to me when you say that.”

 

The warrior kissed the ear again and whispered.  “Gabrielle, it’s just a couple of days…”

 

The bard shivered at the sensation of Xena’s warm lips and breath against her ear, then grumbled.  “Okay, okay…” They hugged for a moment longer, then stepped apart.  Gabrielle watched glumly as the big warrior mounted Argo and headed her around.

 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Xena leaned down and cupped the bard’s cheek.  “I love you,” she said softly.

 

With a creak of leather, she straightened up in the saddle and blew a kiss to the bard, who parodied catching it and holding it to her cheek.  The warrior smiled that smile that always melted the young woman’s heart, and galloped off down one arm of the crossroads towards the king’s castle.

 

“I love you, too,” Gabrielle whispered holding up the hand with the kiss in it.  Watching until Xena passed into some trees on the trail, the bard sighed.  She looked at her still closed fist and then opened it; it was empty of course.  She dropped the hand to her side.

 

“Yeah, go on, Warrior Princess … visit the king; eat great food, get served by ladies in waiting, get to sleep in a bed.  Have a great time,” she muttered.  “I’ll be here with my half-loaf of bread and chunk of cheese for dinner, the squirrels to serve me, my old bedroll for resting, and the crickets for company…” She raised her voice to a shout.  “Don’t worry, we’ll all be JUST fine.”

 

Her words echoed in the trees overhead and a solitary raven cawed at her.  She sighed.  “Rats,” she said.  Picking up her staff, she slung her scroll bag and the strap of her bedroll onto her left shoulder, and started down the opposite arm of the crossroads. 

 

The day was cool under the trees as Gabrielle walked along, and she started with the good mile-eating stride she usually had to use when following Argo.  But then she came to an area of open clearings where hot sunlight fell.  Even though the top and short skirt of her orange outfit were relatively thin, she could feel moisture gathering on her brow and upper lip and then in other places as well. 

 

This is the pits, she thought as she pulled the long red-gold hair away from her neck and fanned herself.  She frowned with displeasure.  Slow down, ‘Brielle, why are you rushing?  There’s nothing happening, no Argo to keep up with or Xena pushing to get us somewhere, so why not slow down a bit; enjoy the walk and the day.  After all, she reasoned, I have till nightfall to get to the place Xena mentioned and it isn’t all that far. 

 

No sooner thought, than done.  She adjusted her pace accordingly and soon a light breeze began wafting past which easily kept her cool at her reduced rate of speed.  She felt more cheerful and began whistling softly to herself as she walked looking about at the rolling hills, trees and meadows, smelling the fresh air and reveling in her freedom.

 

The bard didn’t usually get to see much scenery, or have time to enjoy the natural beauty of many of the places they passed through, because they were always on the go.  Gods forbid they should stop just to look at the landscape, or a pretty valley.  She shook her head.  Here I am; leagues and leagues from Poteidaia, which I couldn’t wait to get out of to see the world, but how much of this beautiful land of Greece have I actually seen while rushing hither and yon all over the landscape?  In a moment of insight, Gabrielle had a sudden thought. 

 

I love Xena so much, but she has little or no use for scenery, save as how it serves as places to camp at night, where to hide and supply an army or spots to avoid because of possible ambush.  Give the Warrior Princess her due; she’s right; there are those dangers.  But we could still take it a little slower and look around us for beauty.  The bard made up her mind.  Today, by Artemis, I’m gonna take it easy and look at things as I go.  I can be aware of the dangers and the beauty too.  She smiled and walked slowly on.  Now she was positively loitering as if she had nowhere in the world to be and the change felt wonderful.  She listened to the birds singing and the hum of insects and the little puffs of breeze playing with her red-gold hair made her feel like a child again.

 

A little way up the road she righted a turtle that had somehow gotten onto its back, and watched for long minutes while it crawled slowly away into a ditch.  Further along she saw various herbs growing in profusion in a small clearing.  She picked a spray or two of wild catmint and garlic and thyme for seasonings, and stowed them in her scroll bag before she continued.  Once as the road took her through a small meadow full of wildflowers, she watched enchanted as beautiful multi-hued butterflies dipped and gamboled everywhere through the sunlit air.  Many lighted upon her hair and arms, and she giggled at the feather-soft touches of their feet and wings.

 

The bard picked one such explorer gently off of her arm and placed it on the palm of her hand.  Fascinated, she watched as its long tongue unrolled to probe at her skin looking for moisture before it took wing to join its fellows. “Oh, Xena,” she sighed.  “I wish you were here to see all this beauty.”  Of course, she thought wryly, you’d probably think of some way the butterflies could be used as cover for scouting or as a ‘smoke-screen’ in a battle.  She watched the insects’ aerial ballet for a long while before finally moving on.

 

* * *

 

It was before noon when up ahead she saw some buildings amid the trees; it was a small village and off to the side she saw a public house.  “Must be the village Xena mentioned; hmmm, a tavern.  I could use a cool drink,” she thought.  She entered the shade of the building and looked in the door before entering.  Life with Xena had taught her to be wary of entering taverns alone, but the room was mostly empty.  An old man sat at dozing at a table with a dog at his feet, and a man who was obviously the owner was sweeping up.  A burly man in the grubby clothing of a pig farmer sat at another table, staring into a mug of something.  Reassured, the redhead went in and up to the bar. 

 

“What’ll it be,” said the tavernkeep, setting aside the broom.

 

“How much is ale?”  She was polite.

 

“Two dinars a cup.” 

 

Gabrielle was shocked.  “Two dinars?  Isn’t that a bit expensive?  It’s only one dinar a cup in Athens…”

 

“Fine,” he said, “then you can go to Athens for ale.  If you want some here, you pay the two dinars.”

 

The bard knew just exactly how much money she carried.  She and the warrior were a bit poor this day.  She had only two dinars in her pouch and hated spending them just for a drink.  Inwardly she sighed.  Geeze, with all that money lying around in the cave of the Sumerian Treasure wouldn’t ya think we would have remembered to take some for expenses before the volcano blew?  Of course, we WERE a little busy.  She felt cold as she remembered Thersites’ dagger pressed against her throat.

 

Hmmm. Athens. Aloud she said, “Um, I’m a bard of some repute; I recently attended the Academy for Bards at Athens.  Could I tell you a story for an ale?”

 

“Sure, you can tell me a story,” the man said, “and you can pay me the two dinars too, or you don’t get no ale.”

 

“I see,” she sighed.  “Can I please just have a cup of water, then?”

 

“That’ll be one dinar a cup,” the man said.

 

The bard could scarcely believe her ears.  “Yer kidding, right?  You don’t have free water?”

 

“Sure, help yourself,” he grunted taking up his broom again.  “The wells in the courtyard.  Dipper’s in the bucket.”

 

Gabrielle stiffened, and her mouth became a thin line.  Then she turned and went towards the door.  Before going out, she turned.  “I can see why your tavern’s so empty,” she said with a sniff.  “Not only are your prices high, but you’re rude as well.”  The tavernkeep paid no attention; the burly man in the corner laughed.  Head high, the bard stalked outside.

 

At the well, she raised the moss-covered bucket and took a drink from the copper dipper.  The water was brackish, and she spit it out.  “Gods,” she choked.  “No wonder he’s so bad tempered, if this marsh water is what he has to drink.”

 

“Yer right there, missy…” said a raspy voice behind her.

 

Quickly turning around, Gabrielle saw a bent old woman in drab clothing carrying a bucket.  “I beg your pardon?”

 

The woman set the bucket carefully down and sighed.  “That there waters good only for washing, and none too good at that…” She straightened her back and rubbed it for a moment.  “Orlonus send you out here for a drink?”

 

“If that was the tavernman, yes, he did,” said the petite woman, shaking her head.  “He wanted to charge me a dinar a cup for water in the tavern!”

 

“Of course,” the old woman sniffed.  “It’s his well; only one in this area.  All of the village used to get their drinkin’ water from here for free before the well went bad, but now it has and all the dowsers say there ain’t no other water in the ground in these parts.”

 

“That’s terrible,” Gabrielle exclaimed.  She scratched her head.  “So where does Orlonus get the water he charges people for?”

 

“Oh, he pays ten dinars a barrel to have clean drinking water hauled in from Mirror Lake,” sighed the old woman. “Since he’s paying the freight, he means to make money off of it.” 

 

“I can’t believe people here pay a dinar a cup,” grumbled the bard.  “That’s as much as a cup of wine anyplace else.”

 

“Oh, we don’t, but you not bein’ from round here, yer fair game.”  The old woman turned the corners of her mouth down as the bard stared.  “The old snabbler can’t get away with them road-apples with his friends and neighbors.  Us he only charges a dinar for a BUCKET o’ drinking water.”  She shook her gray head.  “Leastwise he lets us use this here water free for washing and such.”  She began lowering the mossy bucket into the polluted well, grunting as she did so.

 

Seeing the older woman struggle, the redhead quickly offered her help. “Here, let me do that, ma’am.”  She took the rope and lowered the bucket quickly to the water and brought it back up full.  She poured the contents into the older woman’s container.

 

“Thankee, dearie,” said the old woman,  “what with my old back kickin’ up on me, yer a hero in my time o’ need.”

 

The petite woman was embarrassed.  Yep, that’s me, she thought, great doer of deeds, bard of great repute, helping an old woman with the wash water.  Boy am I a hero, NOT.  Aloud she said, “Think nothing of it, ma’am.”

 

“Oh, but I do,” said the woman, fanning herself with her apron.  “It’s hot out today and I ain’t so spry as I once was...” She looked judiciously at the bard.  “You got right good manners and a kind heart, missy … mor’in I kin say fer most young people these days.”

 

“Thank you,” the bard said modestly, coloring a bit.  She smiled and offered her hand.  “I’m Gabrielle.”

 

The old woman looked at the offered hand, then smiled herself and shook it gently.  Her hands were calloused and seamed from work.  “Nice to meet ye, Gabrielle.  I’m th’ widda Konstantius, but you just call me grandma.  Ever’buddy else round these parts does.”

 

“All right, baba,” smiled the bard.  “May I help you get this bucket home?”

 

“Only if ye’ll let me repay you, with some lunch,” said the old woman firmly.  “It ain’t much, just some spinach pie left from yesterday,” she looked the bard up and down, “but from th’ look of you, yer on the long road and food’s scarce out there a’tween villages.”

 

The bard thought of the few crumbs of bread and cheese she had to look forward to for tonight’s supper, and smiled.  “You have me pegged fair and square, baba.  Lunch sounds like the Elysian Fields right now and I’ll be glad to take you up on your kind offer.” 

 

Gabrielle picked up her scroll bag, her bedroll, her staff and finally the bucket.  As she did so, the scroll bag slid off her shoulder to the crook of her elbow overbalancing her.  Leaning the staff against her shoulder, she slid the bag back up, but as she straightened, the staff fell to the ground.  Bending to reach for the staff, the sleeping bag on its strap flipped from her back to hang in front of her so she could not see the ground.  Fumbling with the blanket and feeling for the weapon, the bucket sloshed onto her leg.

 

She yelped as the cold liquid filled her right boot to the brim, and jumped involuntarily at the unexpected sensation.  As she did, her foot came down on her staff and the rounded wood rolled.  Her foot went out from under her and she fell onto her back with a squeal, overturning the rest of the bucket on herself and getting drenched. 

 

The old widow woman snatched the bard’s scroll bag and bedroll from the path of the flood. “You all right, young one?”  She said anxiously looking down at the bard.

 

Sitting up soaked in the muddy puddle, Gabrielle began to giggle.  “I’m fine.” Geeze, some Amazon Princess I am, she thought.  Tripping over my own staff.  Good thing Xena didn’t see that; she’d never let me live it down. 

 

Before either woman could say more, rough voices laughed and the bard looked up to see Orlonus the tavernkeep and the burly man who had been drinking standing on the tavern porch.  They looked her up and down, and their grins turned into something else as they stared pointedly at the way her wringing wet orange top and skirt clung to her curves.

 

Lithely she scrambled to her feet, grabbed her staff and raised an eyebrow in her best Xena manner.  “What are you two smuds lookin’ at?”  She said coldly.  If they wanted trouble, she was ready. 

 

“A curvy little morsel, I’m thinkin’,” said the burly man with a smarmy grin. “Yeah, all nice and wet already.  How’d you like some help outa those damp things, sweeting?  I could help rub you dry on the outside, and then,” he patted his crotch and leered, “I can introduce you to my big friend Erectus and we two’ll rub you dry on the INSIDE too!”

 

Beside her, the old widow made an outraged noise and even the tavernkeep lost his grin at the other man’s words.  “Here, now,” he said.  “That’s enough o’ that kinda talk, Pando!”  He turned to Gabrielle.  “I’m sorry miss, he’s had a few…”

 

“That’s all right, sir,” Gabrielle said to the embarrassed taverner.  She smiled at the burly man, but there was a glint in her green eyes.  “So, Pando,” she said sweetly.  “Speaking of your LITTLE friend Erectus, do you know what that useless piece of skin on the end of him is called?”

 

He stared at the unexpected question, then his grin widened.  “No, sweet thing, what?”

 

Her smile was gleeful.  “That useless piece of skin is called, ‘Your body!’”

 

The widow laughed out loud, and the tavern man snickered as well.  “She’s got you there, Pando!”

 

“Why, you little bitch…” The man started forward, but the tavernkeep yanked him back.

 

“That’s enough, dammit!  Leave her be!  I don’t want no trouble here.  You wanna spend tonight in the magistrate’s gaol?”  He hustled the grubby man back into the tavern.

 

Satisfied that there was going to be no trouble, Gabrielle turned to the old woman.  “Thank you for getting my bag away from the water, baba.  The contents are very valuable to me.”

 

“Spare clean, dry, clothes is always good to have,” said the old woman.

 

“Not much clothing in there,” smiled the bard looking into the bag.  “Something more important.  My scrolls.”

 

“Scrolls?”  The widow sounded curious.

 

“I’ll explain as we go.  Meanwhile, let’s see if I can manage to get another bucket of water for you, and this time,” she wrinkled her nose with humor,  “maybe I can keep from wearing it.”

 

* * *

 

It was well after noon when Gabrielle got on the road again after bidding the widow Konstantius fairwell.  She was stuffed with spinach cheese pie and a surprise piece of honey baklava the older woman had given her.  Baba Konstantius for her part had listened in obvious pleasure to several stories told by the bard, while the young woman sat in one of the older woman’s robes waiting for her freshly washed clothing to dry.

 

Before she left, the old woman had offered her a place to stay for the night, but the bard had demurred.  Xena had said she might be back as early as tonight, and she wanted to reach the place where the warrior had told her to wait.

 

Traveling on past the village, she soon came to the fork Xena had mentioned and without trouble found the abandoned temple in the woods a mile or so further.  Then it was a matter of waiting it out for her warrior.  She claimed a space on the cracked and weather beaten old steps of the building, placing her scroll bag and bedroll there.  Then for a time she took herself through her paces drilling with the Amazon fighting staff and going through the forms of defense and attack that Xena had shown her.  She went about the action methodically and without skimping on the moves, for it had been a deadly incident some months before that had decided Xena to teach her friend how to use the staff as a weapon.  Men had attacked the warrior and bard, catching them unawares, wounding them both and coming close to killing the bard.  Since then, Gabrielle and Xena had practiced rigorously with the staff so that the bard could competently defend herself in case of a fight. 

 

After a time, the petite redhead laid the staff aside and leaned against a tree, looking upwards through the leaves and branches into the vault of blue overhead that reminded her so much of her dear friend’s eyes.  While doing this, as often happened, words began to come into her mind forming sentences and stanzas.  As soon as this happened, she hastily dug into her scroll bag for a fresh parchment and quill to write them down.  The bard had learned never to ignore the words when they came from her muse this way, for if she did they would go away and she could never completely recall them to her satisfaction afterwards.

 

Now she leaned against the tree with her staff beside her and penned hastily as the words came flooding into her.  As they often did, they were forming a poem about her friend and lover, Xena.  She scribbled for awhile as fast as she could write, but then she came almost to the end and got stuck.  Frowning, she read the last words out loud to herself hoping to jar that final stanza loose by force of will alone.

 

“…And so the woe of hearts long dead,

Pounds soundly in my head… 

The Warrior Princess lives,

In the world a broken … a broken…”

 

Damn, she had lost the last word.  She hated when that happened.  She stared thoughtfully at the parchment, trying out various words that rhymed with ‘live’.

 

“Gives?  Mives?  Sieve?”  Hmmm.  Sieve.  Broken.  She grimaced.  It didn’t work well, but it sort of made sense with the rest.  It might do.  She tried it out loud.  “Broken sieve.  Yeah, that works…” 

 

She began to scribble down the word when a shadow fell over her parchment and she looked up in irritation.  A scruffy looking man stood looking down at her with hard eyes.  He reminded her of Pando the pig farmer, and she could smell him from there. 

 

By the gods, she thought with disgust, what’s a girl have to do to be left alone?  Recalling the incident at the tavern, she thought, let’s try this politely.  Aloud she said, “Would you please move?  You’re blocking my sunlight.”

 

His expression didn’t change and he said in a low menacing voice.  “I’ll only return the sun, for a price…”

 

Irritated, she said tartly, “Sunlight is free from the gods.”

 

“Not from me.”  Now he grinned, showing bad teeth.  “Give me your purse,” he hissed.

 

Uh, oh.  She glanced at the staff beside her and realized he was much too close for her to grab it before he could get to her.  He looked big, but not fast and she considered her chance of ducking around the tree and running, but she didn’t want to leave her things for him to paw through.  Just then there was a whinny from down the trail and Gabrielle looked up quickly to see Xena mounted on Argo coming towards them.  Strange.  The warrior was some distance away, but from here it almost looked like she was mounted sidesaddle.  Still, relief flooded into the bard and she looked back at the man with a confidant air.

 

“Listen,” she said with a hint of glee in her voice.  “You really don’t want to do this.  It could prove to be dangerous to your health.”

 

The man laughed deep in his throat, then lunged for her.  She spun to run, but he proved to be faster than he looked and locked an arm around her neck from behind.  He was seeking to cut off her air and she pulled at his arm with both hands, trying to get her chin down in front of his forearm so that her windpipe wasn’t blocked.

 

She struggled to get free, at the same time watching Xena, for she was confidant that the warrior would gallop Argo forward and come leaping from the saddle to kick the guy’s butt.  She knew her lover would be furious and Gabrielle only hoped she could keep the raven-haired woman from killing the man outright.  He was only a bully and a petty thief after all.

 

But instead of spurring forward, Xena got off Argo while still fifty feet away.  Her dismount was usually grace personified, but this time she looked about as awkward as a pig on stilts.  She stood there for a moment looking indecisive too and Argo trotted away.  Come on, Xena, the bard thought angrily while continuing to struggle.  I’m choking here!  What’s the matter with you?  

 

At last the warrior seemed to make up her mind and ran towards the struggle, but it seemed to take her forever to get there.  What in Tartarus is wrong with her, the beleaguered bard thought, feeling her vision cloud as the man managed to momentarily cut off her air.  She’s running like a girl!

 

Xena trotted up behind the man and hit him in the back with her fist, but he didn’t even grunt.  However, the blow was enough to make him release the bard to see who was attacking him, and the petite woman staggered back pulling air into her lungs.  Xena and the man faced each other, and even panting, Gabrielle grinned gleefully.  Now her warrior would make short work of the ruffian stupid enough to attack her bard.

 

However, instead of attacking, Xena awkwardly raised her fists in front of her, then partly lowered them, then raised them again.  She seemed indecisive and her expression was far from the confidant fighting-mask Xena usually wore in battle.  In fact the bard realized with a shock, she looked almost … scared.

 

The man looked his assailant up and down, then grinned.  “You look good for a gold piece or twenty…” and he laughed gloatingly.

 

The warrior’s already fearful expression dissolved into one of total panic and she dropped her clenched hands to her sides.  Then to Gabrielle’s astonishment and horror, her admired friend and lover spun about and began running back up the trail sobbing, “Papa, papa where are youuuuu…”

 

The man and the bard watched her run, then suddenly the stunned Gabrielle realized that it was up to her.  Without further thought, she grabbed her staff from where it still leaned on the tree, and before the man could turn back to her, she swung it around and down behind his legs to trip him heavily onto his back.  He landed with a pained grunt and began to turn over to get up again, but she smashed the staff down on his back, first once, then twice, eliciting squawls of pain.  Then she rammed the end of the staff into his side, which staggered him grunting to his feet.  Now HE looked panicked and tried to run, and she kicked him in the stomach, which spun him around.  Without looking back he took off as fast as he could run to get away from this crazy redheaded Fury who was belaboring him so soundly.

 

Certain the man would not be returning, Gabrielle tossed the forgotten staff to the ground and ran in the direction her friend had gone down the trail.  She was confused.  What had happened to Xena at the castle?  Her friend had never acted in so cowardly a manner before, and she had to find out what was going on.  Maybe she’s sick, the bard thought worriedly.  She went up the trail looking this way and that for signs of her friend and was about to call her name, when Xena’s trembling face appeared in the bushes.  She looked all around as if terrified, and made signs that the bard should come to her.

 

She was TESTING me!  Gabrielle suddenly realized what had to be going on and was immediately miffed.  I don’t believe this.  She saw the situation and wanted to see if I could handle it!  I’ll be damned!

 

She went over to the bushes where Xena was still pretending to cower.  She looked so silly that the bard almost laughed, but she was not about to let her friend off the hook that fast.  Sourly she said, “Okay.  I just WISH you would give me some warning when yer gonna test me like that.”

 

Xena looked at her and her eyes held no hint of recognition.  “G-Gabrielle?”  Her skin was pale and her tone was tremorus.  It was so different from the vibrant voice she was used to hearing from her friend that the bard was taken aback.

 

“Yes?”  She made it a question.  Maybe Xena WAS sick.  “Are you all right?”  She asked with concern. 

 

However, the warrior didn’t answer.  She pulled a small scroll from between her breasts and handed it to the bard who began to unroll it still watching her.  She didn’t look hurt.  The bard was once more inclined to think that Xena was having her on, and any minute would give her the horselaugh.  So instead of giving her lover the satisfaction she decided to act as if the incident had never taken place. 

 

“So what happened at the castle,” she said airily, then glanced down at the scroll.  She stopped; what was this?  The words written there in Xena’s scrawling hand were short and to the point.

 

            Gabrielle,

            This is Princess Diana of Treus.  Yeah, she’s my double.

I sent her to you disguised as me, to get her away from assassins.

Help her pretend she’s me and keep her safe.

I’ll be back in a day or two when the situation here is resolved.

Xena 

 

She looked up at the Warrior Princess still cowering in the bushes.  “Sooo, you’re Princess Diana,” she said incredulously.  “Who just happens to look exactly like Xena.”  The warrior nodded shakily.  Oh, brother, thought the bard, does she think I’ll buy this?  How stupid does she think I am?  Aloud she said,  “Hah!  It IS test day isn’t it?  Well yer going ta hav’ta do better than that!”

 

She laid the scroll on Xena’s breasts as if to tuck it back between them and the tall woman actually flinched and snatched the parchment away.  “Y-You mean you don’t believe I’m princess Diana?”  Her voice was desolate. 

 

“Hah!  Not for a minute,” the redhead threw the words over her shoulder as she began to walk away.  Boy is she good, she thought in awe.  Talk about your many skills.  She’s changed her voice and I think she’s even wearing perfume!  But doesn’t she see I’m not gonna fall for it?  Enough is enough.

 

“B-But you’ve GOT to!”  The voice behind her was so intense that the bard swung around in surprise.  She stared doubtfully at her trembling warrior/lover; could it be?  Nah.  No way.

 

The dark woman’s eyes were wide and stared guilelessly into the bard’s. “I can’t pretend to BE Xena without you giving me a few pointers…”

 

Gabrielle blinked.  By the gods, COULD it be true? 

 

“I-I haven’t been out of the castle in years.  I g-got lost three times on the way here and I’m missing my father already…” the warrior drew in a ragged breath and gulped, “and now you don’t even believe I’m me.  Y-You think I’m Xena!”  Her voice broke as she squeaked, “Well, I can’t BE Xena ‘cause I’m NOT Xena…” she choked to a stop and made little mewling sounds as if she were about to burst into tears.

 

The petite redhead was flabbergasted.  “You’re NOT Xena…” she said in a wondering voice as she finally believed the unbelievable.

 

“No, I-I’m D-Dian-na…” the woman was almost sobbing now.

 

“My-My goodness, the resemblance is amazing…” She’s real royalty, the bard belatedly realized and dropped into a curtsy and lowered her head.  “I’m honored to meet you, princess…”

 

The princess Diana, now not the Warrior Princess, looked up and down the trail furtively, then spoke.  “I-I don’t think you should be doing that, I’m not me, remember?”

 

“Oh, right…” Gabrielle straightened up hurriedly.  I’ll have to watch that. 

 

“Tell me what to do to be a convincing Xena…” Diana gulped.

 

What indeed?  One thing stood out crystal clear.  “Well, for starters?  Stop crying,” the bard said firmly turning to walk back towards the temple.  She rolled her eyes as she heard the princess sniveling behind her.  Geeze, how COULD I have mistaken her for my sweet and strong Xena?  They’re NOTHING alike.  Sure, Xena cries, but only when she’s sad or deeply affected.  In a situation like this she doesn’t fold over, she just wades in and kicks butt.  Then another thought struck and the redhead was suddenly ashamed of herself.

 

Come on, ‘Brielle.  Try to have a little understanding here.  It probably isn’t Diana’s fault she hasn’t been out of the castle in years.  This is all new and strange to her.  Remember when you first followed Xena?  You came to a wooden bridge and were afraid that it wouldn’t hold you up!  You couldn’t make a fire, a Cyclops almost ATE you … Geeze, you didn’t even know which leaves to wipe with, and boy was THAT a painful learning experience.  But Xena didn’t give you a hard time; she just showed you the right kind of leaves to use next time and brewed up that cooling salve for your backside. 

 

They had reached the temple as the bard’s thoughts continued.  Yeah, show some compassion; help Diana out.  She’s scared enough as it is.  Gabrielle stopped walking and turned around to speak.  Unfortunately, she hadn’t realized the princess was following close on her heels like a lost puppy and Diana, head down and unprepared for the bard to stop, walked right into her.  Gabrielle saw stars as the taller woman’s chin rammed into her nose.

 

Ouch.  The redhead staggered around for a moment, blinking tears of pain and waiting for the spinning flecks in her vision to go away.  When she looked up, she saw the princess was flat on the ground and not moving. 

 

“Oh, holy Zeus!”  The frightened bard rushed to the fallen woman and fell to her knees beside her.  She peeled back an eyelid in the pale face and felt for a pulse in the neck, frantically wondering what the kingdom of Treus punishment was for killing a member of the royal household.  In moments, however, she ascertained that the princess was merely unconscious.  Relieved, she sat back on her knees as her nose throbbed.  Damn, I didn’t think my NOSE could knock out someone her size.  She chaffed the larger woman’s wrists and shook her gently.  “Princess?  Come on, wake up…” A moan and fluttering eyelids rewarded her efforts.  Thank the gods.  She helped the woman who looked so much like her friend and lover to sit up.  “Are you all right, your highness, um, I mean, Xena…”

 

The princess looked up with unfocussed eyes, then squeezed them shut.  “I haven’t been … out of the castle … in years,” she muttered foggily.  Then she shook her head and said, “Wh-What happened…”

 

“I guess you got knocked out when we ran into one another…”

 

“Knocked out?”  The woman blinked, stared into the bards face, then her eyes widened and her skin turned even paler if that was possible.  She turned her head hurriedly away.  “Oh, oh, oh…” was all she said.

 

Gabrielle was puzzled.  “What is it?”

 

“Your f-face … it’s all … b-blood.”  The princess gulped not looking at her.

 

Blood?  Gabrielle put a hand gingerly to her pounding nose; sure enough her fingers encountered wetness beneath it.  She licked her upper lip and tasted blood.  “I’m all right,” she said, her voice reassuring.  “Just a bloody nose.  I’ve had lots worse…” She glanced at the faint sword scar on her arm.  Much worse.

 

The princess wasn’t reassured.  “Oh, it … its awful.  I can’t STAND the sight of blood.  Please, c-clean it up or I’ll faint again.”

 

“Oh, for…” Gabrielle was disgusted.  “You want to play at being Xena and you FAINT at the sight of BLOOD?  For Zeus’ sake, it isn’t even YOURS!  It’s just a bloody nose!”

 

The princess moaned and kept her face turned away.

 

“Now listen here, you turn around and look at me!  Come on, you did this to me, so the least you can do is look!  LOOK at me!”  She turned Diana’s face towards hers and the woman blanched as she saw the blood.  Her eyes unfocussed and started to roll up, but the bard shook her furiously.  “Listen to me, Diana!  LISTEN!  You WILL stay awake or … or…” she spoke harshly. “Or I’ll leave you here and you can fend for yourself!”

 

The blue eyes, so much like her friend’s blinked at that and swam back into focus.  “You, you w-wouldn’t…”

 

Of course I wouldn’t, thought the bard.  Aloud she said, “Maybe not, but listen to me.  No, don’t look away.  Look at my eyes, not the blood … and don’t pant.  Breathe in and out slowly. ”

 

The princess did as she said and slowed her breathing.  “That’s better,” the bard smiled, crinkling her eyes.  The raven-haired woman smiled back tremulously, keeping her eyes on the bards.  “Blood is part of life, Diana.  It’s nothing to fear.  Think about this … if one of those assassins got to you and stabbed you but didn’t kill you, would you faint at the sight of blood and let him finish you off?  Or would you run or maybe fight to save yourself?”

 

“Wouldn’t have time to f-faint,” snuffled the princess.  “I’d run.  I … I could always faint later when it was safe…”

 

“That’s the way to look at it,” said the bard seriously.  “Just remember.  You’re not in your castle full of people who will care for you now; there’s just me, and I need your help too.  Anywhere out here, it’s NOT safe to faint.  Too many bad guys around like that smud who wanted to rob us.  Oh, there are plenty of good people too…” she smiled, remembering baba Konstantius. “But it’s not safe to be found unconscious out here by just anyone.  So, the next time you feel faint, try not to panic.  Just tell yourself you’ll faint later.”

 

“I’ll … j-just faint later…” the princess repeated.

 

Gabrielle wiped at her nose and held up her hand with blood on her fingertip.  “Look at this,” she said softly.  “It’s not scary.  Just think of it as something the gods put into us to leak out when we are cut, so we’ll know where to put the bandage.”

 

The princess of Treus looked at the blood on the bard’s finger and shuddered. “I’ll faint later, I’ll faint later, I’ll faint later…” she whispered over and over.  She trembled and was a bit pale, but she didn’t faint which Gabrielle thought was a major miracle.

 

“That’s it, put it off till another time, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find you never faint at all…” she said gently.  The petite redhead helped the taller woman up, dabbing at her nose.  She got into her scroll bag, pulled out a rag and wiped at the blood.

 

“H-How is it?”  Diana watched her.  “Are you all right?”

 

“Yup, just fine,” said the bard.  “See, it’s stopped bleeding already.  My nose feels like I ran into a stone wall though.”  She smiled.  “You have a hard chin for a royal princess.”

 

The princess turned up a corner of her mouth.  “When I don’t want to do something, or I think I’m right, I can be pretty stubborn.  Papa says I’m ‘hard-headed’.  Guess it must be true.”

 

Gabrielle patted the princesses’ arm.  “That’s probably not a bad way to be if yer gonna have to make decisions and rule a kingdom one day.” 

 

Shyly the woman smiled her thanks and Gabrielle stared at her.  She was struck again at how much Diana looked like Xena.  She felt her heart flutter and gulped.  Those blue eyes, that smile!  It almost made her breath catch the same way Xena always did.  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.  This is NOT Xena, your dear lover, she told herself sharply, it’s Diana, a total stranger who just looks like her.  You have nothing in common, nothing at all.  When she opened her eyes again, she was calm once more.

 

The princess, having noticed nothing, was looking around them.  “So this is the great outdoors … it’s really beautiful, isn’t it?”

 

“Yes, yes it is.”  Gabrielle said softly.  She gazed around for a moment herself at the trees and bushes, smelled the breeze and listened to the evening birds chirping above them. You can have your castles and villages, she thought.  As long as I’m with Xena, this is the only place I need.  Her gaze fell back on Diana, who seemed to be fidgeting.

 

“Is something wrong your majest-uh, Xena?”

 

The princess bit her lip.  “It was a long ride from the castle.  I, um, have to … go.”

 

“Go?  Where would you go?”  The bard was confused.  “You just got here...”

 

“I mean I REALLY have to go,” gulped the princess teetering from one foot to the other.  “Is, is there a … a Guardrobe somewhere nearby?  M-Maybe in that building?” She pointed at the abandoned temple.

 

OH!  You need to GO.  Gabrielle was both embarrassed and tickled at the same time.  Trying not to show her amusement she said, “No, there’s no Guardrobe around; we’re roughing it tonight.”  She glanced around calculating.  “Ah.  There’s a good spot … over behind those bushes.  The leaves are even right.”

 

“Leaves?”  It was princesses’ turn to be puzzled.

 

“Yeah.  That big bush in front is all right to use,” the bard squinted in that direction.  “But whatever ya do, don’t use that broad-leaf dark green one beside it.  Those leaves look perfect, but I guarantee you’ll regret it later.”  She grimaced at an unpleasant memory.

 

The princess was still puzzled.  “But use them for what…” then her eyes widened.  “Oh, no.  You don’t mean…” She looked horrified.

 

“Look,” Gabrielle spoke kindly.  “Just think of those bushes as our personal Guardrobe.  Go over there and do what you need to do.  Don’t worry, you’ll be fine and no one will see you if you squat down.”

 

She shook her head as she watched the princess hurry over to the spot the bard had indicated and disappear behind the bush.  Yeah, she looks like Xena all right, but brother, what a difference between them.

 

There was a sudden whinny in the distance and the bard blinked, suddenly remembering that Argo was out there somewhere on her own.  Damn, Xena would have a fit if something happened to her horse.  I wouldn’t really feel good either; she’s actually quite nice for a horse that hates me ‘cause I stole her mistresses’ affections.

 

Gabrielle wet her lips and whistled for Argo.  She did so without much hope, for nine times out of ten, the jealous mare ignored the bard.  This time for a wonder, the big golden horse actually came trotting over to her and nickered.  She put out a hand and stroked the palomino’s nose.  “Good girl, Argo,” she said in some surprise.  “Xena must have had a talk with you, huh?  Here, let’s get that saddle off…” She undid the cinches and pulled the heavy rig off of the horse, then took off the bridal.

 

“Can I help?”  Diana was suddenly there beside her causing the bard to jump at her unexpected return for she had almost forgotten about the princess while tending to the horse.

 

“Sure,” Gabrielle said gratefully.  “Argo needs to be brushed down and given some grain.  Usually Xena does that while I get other things ready…”

 

“Oh, I know how to do that,” said the princess. “Where’s the brush?” 

 

Pleasantly surprised at Diana’s willingness, the bard got the brush and some grain from the saddlebags, and gave it to her.  Then she left the princess to curry the horse while she rummaged in her scroll bag to see what there was for dinner.  Yep, just bread and cheese like she had thought.  She sighed.  It would have to do.  She hoped the princess wouldn’t mind the coarse fare. 

 

Gabrielle set the food aside and opened her bedroll.  If she separated the blankets, each of them could have something to wrap up in.  The sky looked clear and it would be a warm night, perfect for camping out and the stars should be bright.  Too bad it was Diana here and not Xena.  The bard wouldn’t be able to cuddle and look at the stars the way she loved to with her partner.  She sighed again.  Oh well, soon enough she and her lover would be back together and things would return to normal.  She looked over at where Diana was brushing Argo’s tail … Argo’s … TAIL?  The princess of Treus was brushing and brushing the palomino’s tail stroke after stroke and showed no signs of stopping.  What in Tartarus kind of a curry job was that?  Carrying the blankets, Gabrielle went over towards the princess and the horse.

 

As she came up she could hear Diana counting.  She was apparently keeping a tally of strokes as she ran the brush down the horse’s tail.  “Eight hundred and thirty-three, eight-hundred thirty-four, eight-hundred thirty-five…”

 

The bard was nonplused.  She’s doing Eight HUNDRED and some brush strokes on a horses tail?  Argo whickered as the princess continued stroking, and the redhead was surprised that the mare hadn’t kicked at the woman.  She supposed it was because Diana looked like and was dressed like Xena.  Argo would pretty much forgive Xena anything, even zealous over-brushing of her tail.

 

Gabrielle put her hand on the brush, stopping its motion and eliciting another nicker from the horse.  “Um, I think that’s plenty of brushing…”

 

Diana looked surprised.  “Really?  But it looks so flat and dull…”

 

“Well … horses tails are supposed to be flat and dull.”  Argo snorted, and the bard took the brush from Diana.  She began moving away to put some distance between herself and the golden mare … just in case.  The crestfallen princess followed; completely unaware of how close she had come to getting a hoof in the stomach.

 

Shaking her head, Gabrielle began spreading the blankets in front of the temple steps.  She decided to let the princess have two; she would make do with one.  Just then Diana spoke up in puzzled tones.  “Why are you throwing those rags on the soil?”

 

Rags?  She thinks my blankets are ‘rags’?  The bard sighed to herself.  Well, to her, I suppose they would qualify.  Aloud she said, “It’s going to be dark soon … I think we should get some sleep.”  Rags.  Humph.

 

The princess was still puzzled.  “I agree, but why are you putting those rags…” she stopped suddenly as the realization struck home and she said with something approaching horror, “We’re sleeping on the GROUND?”

 

Grinning to herself, the bard said, “That’s what Xena does.”  She pushed the blankets around a little with her foot.  She heard the princess swallow, and was suddenly ashamed for some reason.  Then she was angry.  This is my life, princess, and I love it.  Deal with it. 

 

Before she could speak her mind however, Diana seemed to realize she had made a serious mistake and tried to change the subject.  “Boy, I sure am hungry.” She smiled, attempting humor.  “I could eat a whole pickled Kroasus on my own…”

 

Whatever THAT is.  “Couldn’t we all…” sighed the bard.  Patience, ‘Brielle, patience; she’s new at this.  Xena couldn’t always have been happy with your stupidity to begin with either.  She cleared her throat as she picked up the bundles of cheese and bread wrapped in the traveling cloths.  “Um, I’m not much of a hunter … not like Xena.  You’ll have to make do with this.”  She handed one bundle to Diana.

 

“What is it?”  The princess sounded hopeful.

 

“Cheese…”

 

The princess unwrapped the parcel of hard feta cheese and her face fell. 

 

Granted, it does look like a clay brick, thought the bard.  Sorry ‘bout that.  I know yer supposed to keep feta in brine so that it stays soft, but that’s a little hard to do when traveling like we do.

 

Diana spoke pleadingly.  “I’ve got some dinars … we could go out to an inn and get some real food.”

 

Real food?  What does she think THIS is?  Grumble.  “Just try the cheese.  It may not be as bad as you think…” Gabrielle sat down on the blanket and began to cut the bread with their camp knife.  Xena, where are you now?  Having a great meal, good wine and being waited on hand and foot, I’ll bet.  She sighed.

 

The princess gingerly sat down on the other blankets and pulled off a tiny hunk of the cheese. She put it hesitantly in her mouth.  She chewed once, grimaced and turned her head while she spat it out hastily, trying to keep the bard from seeing that she had.  Gabrielle set the bread aside and lay back on the blanket with her head on the temple steps.  She couldn’t help but chuckle; it was all too funny.

 

“What?” The princess asked looking a bit miffed at the chuckle.

 

The redhead smiled at her wryly and said aloud what she had been thinking earlier.  “You may look like Xena, but you’re nothing alike…”

 

“You know, Philimon thinks that I’m a delicate flower!”  Diana’s eyes shone with pride or something else and her voice became stronger.  “He thinks I’m far too frail to eat bread and cheese … and to endure a night under the stars.”

 

That’s for sure, thought the bard, but yer gonna have to tonight.  Whoever this Philimon is, I hope he loves you as much as you seem to love him, ‘cause he’s gonna have a fine old time educating you, honey.

 

Striving for something else to talk about, the princess spoke.  “Did I ever tell you that I haven’t been outside the castle walls in years…”

 

“More times than you’ve actually BEEN outside the castle walls,” groaned the bard.

 

Diana went on. “But this experience will enrich me.  It will allow me to better rule my kingdom.  Yes!  At last, I am one of the little people…” She stopped hastily as Gabrielle narrowed her eyes and quickly revised what she was saying. “Um, the ORDINARY people.” 

 

‘Ordinary people’, is it?  At least she thinks fast on her feet, thought the bard sourly.  And I think she even means it, or she thinks she does anyway.

 

Diana went on, entranced with her idea.  “And when I’m queen, I won’t be locked away in my castle … no, I will go OUT to my people, and I will share their simple joys and I’ll know their hearts…” She lay down on the blankets next to Gabrielle and stopped talking for the moment.

 

Thank Artemis, thought the bard.  She was tired, for it had been a rather long walk and a day full of surprising revelations, including a guy trying to choke her and the fact that her lover had a double who looked just like Xena but had nothing in common with her.  She sighed and took air in through her sore nose and had just closed her eyes when Diana squealed.  Gabrielle rolled to her feet as she saw a ragged looking man about twenty feet away.  Gods’dammit, not another one!!  As she started to reach for her staff, Diana ran to cower behind her.  However, the bard immediately saw that the man was not threatening in any way and straightened up.  As she felt the princess trembling against her, Gabrielle was irritated.  Do I look like a handy tree, she grumbled to herself.  Then she was suddenly struck with another thought.  If this irritates ME when she does it just once, how did Xena feel when I used to hide behind her?  Gods, how DID she put up with me?  She watched the man warily in case it was a trick but he made no move.

 

Diana sniveled, “Who is that horrid little man?”

 

The bard was disgusted and her voice showed it.  “He’s one of the ‘ordinary people’ whose ‘simple joys’ you wanted to share.”

 

“Oh,” said the princess, but she didn’t sound convinced.

 

Meanwhile the man spoke.  “Hello … d-d’you have any extra crumbs … for a starving man and his family…” His voice was raspy-weak and his eyes looked as if he was expecting to be kicked.  Gabrielle’s heart went out to him.  She opened her mouth, but the princess spoke first and her voice was cool and disbelieving.

 

“Starving?  There’s no one starving in my…” she stopped as she suddenly remembered who she was supposed to be and continued firmly, “…in THIS kingdom.”

 

The man’s expression didn’t change.  “Whatever y’ say, miss…” he said weakly and turned slowly away to leave.

 

“Wait,” Gabrielle said.  She picked up the bread and cheese and took them to him.  “I think you can use this more than us…” He took the simple food as if it was gold and his obvious gratitude as he thanked her was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

 

Diana, however, must have had second thoughts about the feast she had turned down minutes before, as she spoke rather sharply.  “You said you had a family.  Where are they?”

 

For answer, the man looked to the bushes nearby.  “It’s all right,” he called, and slowly the bushes parted as a woman, a boy and a girl came out of the woods.  They might have been ten or twelve and their clothing was all ragged and dirty.  They looked skittish as deer, ready to run in an instant.  The man smiled and held out the food and they came closer.  “That’s them,” he said with a hint of pride. “We’re staying in the woods till I find some work…”

 

In the corner of her eye, Gabrielle noticed Diana staring.  The princess seemed stunned.  She’s learning about the joys of the ordinary people all right, thought the bard.  Maybe as a queen she’ll do some good after all.  Maybe.  At that moment, from behind her mother’s skirts, a small face peeked out.  It was yet another girl, and this one was only about six years old.  Her face was smudged but she smiled like a cherub, and Gabrielle heard the princess take an indrawn breath and swallow.  “Oh,” she said in a tiny voice, which trembled with sympathy and concern. 

 

The bard smiled to herself as all of her doubts about Diana fell away.  Yes.  She WILL make a good queen.

 

* * *

 

Diana and Gabrielle conferred in whispers a short distance away while the hungry family of five, made quick work of the small amount of food.  No surprise, as the half loaf of bread and small hunk of cheese would have been stretched thin feeding just the two women.  It was rapidly getting dark in the woods and the bard had built a fire for them, but warmth was the least of their problems.

 

The princess was wheedling the bard.  “Look, I told you I have some dinars.  Let me go to the village inn or tavern and buy some more food for these people.  It’s just up the road.  I’m hungry myself and I’m sure you are too.”

 

Gabrielle’s stomach chose that moment to make an audible growling.  She had to admit that Diana was right.  Xena had said to stay here, but that was before the warrior had known that her bard would have to feed two, let alone five more people with the meager supplies she had on hand.

 

“All right,” she said, making up her mind, “but I’m coming with you.  I won’t have you gallivanting around in the dark and maybe getting lost or worse.  We’ll go together.”

 

The princess smiled.  “Thank you, Gabrielle.  You are taking good care of me when I’ve been nothing but a burden so far.  But that’s changing; now it’s my turn to help.”

 

The redhead blushed slightly.  “You’re not really a burden, Diana,” she said.  “You’re a good person.  I think you’ll make a great queen and I’m glad that Xena and I can do our bit to protect you.”

 

Diana’s eye’s shone in the firelight. “You are a true friend,” she said, and impulsively kissed the smaller woman on the cheek and hugged her.  The surprised bard relaxed into the embrace for a moment, and they fit together just like she and Xena did.  Hardly surprising, I suppose, she thought.  She IS Xena’s exact double.  She felt a flush beginning at the physical nearness of the woman who looked so much like her lover, and cleared her throat as they stepped apart.

 

“Xena, Gabrielle.”  They looked around as the ragged man whose name was Mellas, approached them, and bowed.  “We were strangers and you helped us and we want to thank you for sharing your food with us, but we won’t bother you anymore.  We’ll go now to sleep in the woods…”

 

“No, wait,” said the bard.  “Please stay here.  We’re going to the village for supplies and um, we would appreciate it if you would watch our camp while we’re gone.  We’ll be back in an hour or so.”  Since there was nothing in the ‘camp’ but the blankets, her scroll bag and the campfire, this would hardly be a task, but in any case, the bard didn’t want them to leave before she came back with the food.

 

Mellas shrugged.  “Of course,” he said.  “You’ve been most kind and it’s the least we can do.  Go now and we’ll see you when you return.”  He smiled and turned back to his family.

 

The women saddled Argo and Diana clambered aboard the big mare while Gabrielle held the reins.  As before, the princess hooked her leg around the saddle horn preparing to ride sidesaddle.  The bard mounted up behind her and whispered hurriedly, “Put your right leg over Argo’s back and hook both feet in the stirrups!”

 

“But, Papa says a lady always rides sidesaddle…” the princess protested.

 

“Xena doesn’t,” insisted the petite woman.  “If you ride like that no one will believe yer her…”

 

“Oh, all right,” Diana grumbled, “but it doesn’t feel very ladylike spreading my legs this way…”

 

Gabrielle said nothing, but grinned to herself.

 

They guided Argo up the road towards the village and as they went, Gabrielle gave the princess pointers about riding the big mare.  Recalling what she had seen Xena do and going from her own experience while riding behind the warrior, she instructed Diana on how to hold the reins for best control and how to sit loosely upright, instead of stiffly so that the horses’ gait didn’t slam through her body with every step.

Soon, the princesses’ control got better and more relaxed.  She had known how to ride before, of course.  After all, she had managed to get to Gabrielle on her own.  She was not adept at riding other than sidesaddle, but she was learning quickly.  The bard was holding onto Diana’s waist as she usually did when riding behind Xena.  As the horse’s motion caused her face and body to rub against the familiar leathers, the smell and feel almost made her forget that the person she was holding onto wasn’t her friend and lover; almost, but not quite.  Besides wearing the flowery perfume, which Xena never did, the princess sat the horse far differently than the warrior would have.  She wasn’t one with the big mares motion, and many times she was jarred about in the saddle from bumps or direction changes that the Warrior Princess would have swayed with and ignored.  But she was improving and Gabrielle was proud of her pupil.

 

Soon the window lights of the village came into view.  A few lanterns on posts marked the tavern and they rode to it.  A clamor of noise came out of the doors; it sounded as if quite a few people were in there.  They dismounted and Gabrielle took a moment to talk to her companion.  “Okay, when we get inside, you are not the princess Diana.  Don’t expect people to jump to your beck and call.  Remember that you are one of the ‘ordinary people’ now.  Be polite and let me do the bargaining.  You’ve seen Xena and talked to her; remember what she’s like.  Just keep your face expressionless and don’t volunteer anything; she doesn’t do that much talking anyway.”

 

The princess nodded, looking a bit pale.

 

Gabrielle smiled reassuringly and patted her on the shoulder.  “You’ll be fine,” she said feigning a confidence she really didn’t feel.  Remembering something Xena had once said to her, she smiled.  “I’ve got faith in you.” 

 

Diana looked at her gratefully, and her expression relaxed a bit.  “Thank you.”

 

They entered the tavern, and after looking about for a moment, headed for the bar.  The large room was full of people talking, laughing and drinking and a couple of tavern maids bustled to and fro serving drinks and fending off drunken customers.  The warrior and bard came up to the bar and after a few moments, Orlonus the tavernkeep approached.  He showed no particular recognition of the bard, which made her just as happy, and asked what they wanted. 

 

Gabrielle told him what supplies they needed, so much dried sausage, chunks of cheese, loaves of bread and finally a flask of wine.  They bargained back and forth on price a bit, and at last settled on twenty dinars.  He had wanted thirty, but the bard was shrewd at dickering and even got him to throw in two cups of ale and some toasted flat bread topped with melted cheese while they waited.  Even at that, twenty dinars was nearly all the money Diana had with her.  The princess paid without a protest, keeping her face expressionless and playing her role of tall, tan and deadly Xena to the hilt.  When they had paid, Orlonus said it would take a few minutes to gather the supplies and went back to the kitchen.

 

As they waited, Diana and Gabrielle stood at the bar enjoying their ale and bread.  “Ohhh,” sighed the princess as she bit into the bread and melted cheese.  “This tastes SO good.  I can’t believe how hungry I was.”

 

Mouth full, the bard merely nodded, not stopping to talk.

 

Then Diana bent over to whisper, “Gabrielle, you were amazing.  I never knew you could get a merchant to lower their prices like that.”  She looked thoughtful.  “In the castle when I want something like a new gown or a present for someone, I send for the merchant, he comes and shows me his wares, tells me the price and Papa has his treasurer pay it.”

 

Gabrielle swallowed bread and cheese and took a sip of her ale before answering.  “Well, out here we ‘ordinary people’” she winked to show she was not being snippy, “can’t always afford to just pay whatever the merchant wants.  There’s always a markup.  So we start low and he starts high, and we kind of meet in the middle on the price.  That way nobody loses too much and everybody’s happy.”  She grinned, wrinkling her nose.  “Besides, getting a real bargain is actually kinda the most fun of shopping.”

 

“I’ll have to remember that,” Diana smiled as she finished her ale.

 

Just then Gabrielle heard Argo whinny outside.  ‘Sounds like she’s getting impatient,” she said.  “Dammit, I’m only half finished with this bread and ale.  Oh, well, guess I better go check on her…”

 

“Let me,” Diana whispered.  “I’m done, and Xena ought to check on her own horse, don’t you think?”

 

The bard thought for a moment, then nodded.  “Okay, I’ll finish this and bring the supplies when they come.”

 

She watched the ‘Warrior Princess’ stalk silently through the crowd to disappear through the outer door and grinned to herself.  She’s really gettin’ into the part, she thought as she turned back to the bar.

 

In a few minutes, she was done with her drink just as Orlonus returned with two largish cloth sacks and a flask of wine.  Gabrielle looked in the sacks to be certain everything was there, then thanked him, took them and the flask in both arms and started through the crowded tavern for the door.  She couldn’t see the floor past the sacks, but walked carefully.  She was halfway to her destination when her ankle suddenly caught on something and she fell headlong onto the sacks of bread, cheese and sausage and had the wind knocked out of her.  As she landed she heard the wine flask break as well.  Conversation in the tavern abruptly ceased, then the silence was broken by a nasty laugh.

 

“Clumsy little bitch, ain’t you?”  Gabrielle looked up to see Pando the burly pig farmer standing there grinning.

 

She staggered to her knees, breathing hard, trying to catch her breath.  “You … tripped me … you bas … tard.”

 

“Did no sucha thing,” he lied with a smirk, “but if I had, it’d teach you to make fun o’ yer betters, ya little woods-rat.  As it is, I think I’ll forgive ya if y’ gimmie a kiss!” 

 

He reached down and grabbed her arm to pull the gasping bard up.  Before he could, there was a shing of steel behind him and he froze as a sharp point poked his neck.  Then a grim voice said, “Ya wanna let my friend go?”

 

Pando looked around and started at the sight of the tall woman in dark armor with the sharp sword held pointed at him in both hands.  Her face was expressionless but her piercing blue eyes were frigid. 

 

“Wh-Who in Tartarus are you?” He blustered fearfully.

 

The woman’s expression didn’t change.  “My name is … Xena.”

 

At the sound of the name, whispers began to go through the silent crowd.  “Xena, the Warrior Princess---She’s a killer---Destroyer of Nations ---It’s her all right, look at those weapons, that armor---Xena of Corinth---I hope Pando fed his pigs today, ‘cause he’s headed for a ride on Charon’s boat tonight.”

 

Pando stood there listening to the whispers and turned a sickly shade of greenish white. He began to shake.  “H-Here, now … I didn’t mean nothin’…” he gulped.

 

“Hold your tongue before you lose it,” said the warrior in a voice of ice, and Pando’s mouth snapped shut.  “Gabrielle, are you all right?”

 

The bard stood up and nodded.  “Just got the wind knocked out of me … Xena,” she said.

 

“What should I do with this cur?” The warrior asked fixing her steel blue gaze at the trembling Pando as if he was something unpleasant she had just found on the bottom of her boot.  “I doubt if anyone would miss him.”

 

“P-Please, don’t k-k-kill me,” he stuttered, clasping his hands together in supplication.

 

“No need to kill him, Xena,” Gabrielle said quickly.  Her voice was sober, but she was grinning inside.  “No harm done except to our wine flask…” she said meaningfully.

 

“Then he’ll buy us another,” the warrior said without taking her eyes off the farmer. “Won’t you, cur?”

 

“Y-Yes, oh yes…” he quaked; bobbing his head madly up and down and grinning like a harpy.

 

“At FULL price, tavernkeeper, if you please,” the warrior princess drawled.  “No dickering need be done.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am,” said Orlonus.  He filled a flask and hurried out to hand it to Gabrielle.

 

“Pay the man, cur,” the warrior said to the pig farmer.

 

Silently, Pando dug out his purse and paid for the flask of wine with shaking hands.

 

The bard reached for the sacks, but the warrior said, “Leave them, Gabrielle.  The cur will be glad to carry them for you, won’t you, cur?”  She gestured with the naked sword and Pando gulped.  Face like chalk, he picked up the sacks.

 

The warrior turned to the silent tavern.  “Ladies and gentlemen.  I apologize for this unseemly row.  A good evening to you all.”  She prodded Pando ahead of them, stalking toward the door with the bard at her side.  As they went, the silent crowd parted like butter before a hot knife.

 

Reaching the doors, Gabrielle whispered out of the corner of her mouth, “That last apology thing was a bit much, I thought.”  The tall woman said nothing, but there was a twinkle in her eye.

 

Outside, they took the supplies from the unhappy man and ‘Xena’ turned to him.  “You have something to say to my friend, cur?”  He hesitated, then swallowed as she fingered her sword.

 

“I’m s-sorry for t-tripping you and, and for using l-language not f-f-fit for a l-ladies ears,” he stuttered hurriedly.

 

“Thank you,” said the bard gravely.

 

Pando looked desperately at the ‘Warrior Princess’.  She eyed the sweating man for long moments before she growled,  “Next time you want to insult a lady, you’d better think twice.  Now, beat it, before I change my mind.”  The burly farmer staggered in relief and it was obvious that until that moment he’d thought he had seen his last sunrise.  He turned and left as quickly as his quavering legs could carry him

 

Behind them, the tavern was still silent, but no one as of yet was brave enough to venture a peek outside.  With no one around to see, Diana managed to put the sword away without skewering herself and clumsily mounted Argo as the bard stowed the supplies and clambered up behind her.  As they rode out of the village, Gabrielle breathed a sigh of relief.  “Sweet Artemis,” she giggled.  “That was great, Diana!  I didn’t know you had it in you.  If I hadn’t known better, I would have sworn you were Xena myself.”  The woman didn’t answer.  “Diana?”

 

There was a gulping noise in front of her as the princess of Treus began to tremble violently.  Before the bard could speak, Diana bent far out over the side of Argo.  One final gulp and nastiness spewed out to splatter on the roadside as the golden horse shied sideways snorting in protest.  Gabrielle couldn’t think of anything useful to say, so she just rubbed her companion’s heaving shoulders.  When it was over, the two rode on in silence except for a few sniffles from the embarrassed and unhappy princess.

 

Hmmm, thought the bard as she patted the shivering woman on the back.  You did good for a princess, but I guess we still have a ways to go yet before you can take over for the real Warrior Princess.

 

* * *

 

When they reached their camp, Diana had mostly recovered, but demurred when Gabrielle mentioned food.  Dismounting and unsaddling Argo, they took the supplies into the camp and found that the homeless family was asleep on the temple steps.  All except for Mellas, who was sleepily stirring the fire.  He arose with a yawn as they approached and spoke softly.  “All’s well.  Nothing happened while you were gone.”

 

“Thank you, Mellas.”

 

“Glad to do it,” he smiled.  “You’ve been more than kind to strangers who have nothing.”

 

Diana looked thoughtful.  “Mellas, if you don’t mind a personal question, how did you and your family wind up on the road?”

 

The man looked at her for a moment, then sighed.  “I was a tinsmith in a village some leagues north of here.  I made enough to get by, but we didn’t manage to save much money.  One windy night a chimney caught fire and it spread.  Before anyone could stop it, flames swept through the village.  At the end of it, some people were dead and many more were homeless for the village was destroyed.”

 

“What happened to the living?”  Gabrielle asked softly.

 

Mellas grimaced.  “Some of them were able to go to live with relatives in other places, most of us weren’t so lucky.”

 

The princess frowned.  “Why aren’t you being helped?  I’ve heard the king spends many dinars on food and housing for the poor and destitute.  It’s called the King’s Aid.”

 

The ex-blacksmith looked bleak.  “I had heard that too, so we went to a city where the King’s Aid was supposed to be.  We found that the housing was overcrowded tenements, rat infested and falling apart.  The food, when it came, was either stale or full of bugs.  No one in charge seemed to care.”  He gritted his teeth.  “It was better than nothing, so we moved in.  After a time, I heard about getting possible work for the King’s Aid.”  Mellas looked at his hands.  “I would rather work than sit around all day, so I applied.  After waiting for days to see the Lord in charge, I finally had to bribe someone with my last dinars to get in.”  Mellas was bitter.  “When I saw the Lord, he sat there in fine robes, wearing rings and jewelry, eating a rich meal.  When I asked about the work, the fat pig said there were two choices.  We could either go on living on the King’s Aid, or I could sell myself and my wife and children into bondage to him as field laborers for ten years after which we would have earned enough dinars to start over again.”

 

“But that’s terrible,” Diana said angrily.  “That’s not how it’s supposed to be!”

 

Mellas shrugged.  “Maybe not.  Anyway, I refused and said I would go on living on the King’s Aid before I did that.  He laughed and had me thrown out.  The next day before breakfast, soldiers came and evicted us from the King’s Aid tenement.  They kept our few possessions as ‘payment for lodging’ and ran us out of the city with nothing but the clothes on our backs!”  The ex-smith shook with remembered rage, then with an effort he calmed himself.  “We’ve been on the road ever since.”

 

Gabrielle and Diana stared at each other and then back at the unlucky tinsmith.  There seemed to be nothing to say in the face of the horrible story.

 

“I’m sorry to have burdened you with our tale of woe,” Mellas sighed.  “But you asked.  I’m going to join my family to sleep now, if that’s all right?”

 

“Of course,” Gabrielle shook herself and smiled warmly.  “Here, take two of our blankets for your wife and children.  Xena and I can share the other one, right Xena?”

 

 “Oh, um, right…” the princess said.

 

“Oh, we couldn’t take your blankets,” he said quickly.

 

“No, it’s fine,” ‘Xena’ smiled.  “Please stay with us for breakfast, too.  We have plenty of food for all of us, now.”

 

For a moment, Mellas’ eyes shown with tears in the firelight, then he ducked his head. “May the gods bless you,” he choked, then hurried away with the blankets.

 

Gabrielle turned to Diana.  The princess of Treus looked like she was still in shock.  “How horrid,” she whispered.  “I would never have believed Papa’s aid to the poor would be so … so misused.”

 

“I have no doubt that in the beginning, things were not that way,” the bard said.  “ But corruption does seem to filter in unless it is checked, and it only takes one bad onion to spoil the bag.”

 

The princess was thoughtful.  “Mellas and his family are good people, aren’t they?  Not like some others I could name.” 

 

“Yes, they are,” Gabrielle agreed.  “And they’ve had a bad time of it, no doubt.  You have to remember that not everyone out here is like Pando or the guy who tried to rob us.  Most are like Mellas and baba Konstantius.  In fact, stingy as he is, even Orlonus the tavernkeep is a decent man at heart.”

 

Diana grunted.  “I must have a talk with papa.  I’m certain he has no idea things like this are happening out in the kingdom.”

 

“That’s a good idea,” Gabrielle smiled.  “But save it for later.”  She spread the remaining blanket wide, and plopped down on it.  She yawned as Diana sat down awkwardly next to her on the other half.

 

“So, what now?”  The princess asked.

 

“Now we sleep,” the bard said.  “I don’t know about you but I’m so tired I could sleep on a pile of rocks.  This blanket’ll be a real luxury.”

 

“You know, I think you’re right,” Diana yawned too and began to lie down.  “I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep, but I’m really tired-OUCH!” she said.

 

“Tired-ouch?  Don’t you mean tired OUT?”

 

“No, I mean ‘ouch’ as in this metal armor is digging at me.”  Diana moved uncomfortably.  “How does Xena sleep this way?”

 

“She doesn’t.”  The bard sat up.  “Sorry about that, I forgot.  Here, let me help you off with the metal parts.”  She had helped Xena remove her armor many times, and quickly aided the princess in unhooking the catches and belts that held the armor on and set them aside with the sword and chakram.  “There, that should be better.”

 

“Oh, my, yes,” Diana sighed.  “I had stopped noticing how uncomfortable that stuff had become till I got it off.”  She lay back on the blanket and stretched, then she looked at the bard and said softly, “Thank you, Gabrielle.”

 

“For what?” The petite woman was surprised.

 

“For protecting me, for helping me, for showing me the beauties of my land, and … for helping me to meet the people of my kingdom.  Now that I’ve been among them, as one of them, I’ll never look at them in quite the same way again, and it’s all thanks to you.”

 

“Don’t forget Xena, your highness,” the bard smiled.  “Without her you might never have survived to meet the ‘ordinary people’.”

 

“Oh, I won’t forget her, either,” grinned the princess.  “It’s fun playing her, well, mostly anyway, but I can’t even imagine what I would have done if that creature Pando had attacked me.”

 

“You did exactly the right thing.  He was like most bullies,” Gabrielle said thoughtfully.  “If you stand up to them, they dry up and blow away.” A corner of her mouth turned up.  “And even if he hadn’t, I’m sure that together, we’d have thought of something.”  She lay back on the blanket.  “G’night, Diana.”

 

The princess closed her eyes.  “Good night, Gabrielle.”  She took a deep breath and was asleep almost immediately.

 

The bard lay looking at the stars for a time, before she too drifted off and the camp was quiet except for the chirp of crickets and the quiet breathing of sleeping people.

 

Somewhat later, Gabrielle stirred as became aware of a familiar warm feeling against her.

“Xena?” she mumbled.  There was no response, and she started to speak again when her eyes flew open as she remembered where and whom she was with.  Carefully she turned her head and saw in the dim firelight, that Diana was cuddled up against her with an arm draped across her.  Gabrielle had to bite her lip to keep from laughing, when she saw that the princess of Treus had her other thumb in her mouth and that she was drooling.

 

As she watched, with the thumb still in her mouth, the sleeping Diana rolled over the other way, pushing her back up against the bard for warmth.

 

Gabrielle smiled, sighed, and went back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

It was the next morning in the camp by the temple and all were enjoying a hearty breakfast.  Mellas spoke around a mouthful of sausage as Diana came back from the Guardrobe bush.  “Thank you, Xena, for buying this food.  It’s the first good meal we’ve had in awhile.”

 

The princess was still feeling guilty after hearing the tinsmith’s story last night.  “I assure you that all the corruption that has stopped royal aid getting to the poor will come to an end,” she said sincerely.  “I, um, I know the king personally.  He’ll hear about this.”

 

Mellas nodded politely, but it was obvious that he didn’t believe her.  Then he smiled as his littlest girl came up holding a piece of bread and sausage and caroled, “Thank you, Xena.”

 

Diana tenderly hugged the child to her.  Meanwhile, the next oldest girl was looking at the chakram hanging from its hook.

 

“What’s this?” She asked, pointing at it.

 

The princess was caught unawares.  Xena had never told her what the thing on the hook was called; just that it was a throwing weapon and the bard had never thought to mention it either.  She improvised quickly.  “This?  It’s my … round killing thing.”

 

Gabrielle was sitting nearby and hearing Diana fumbling around, tried to help.  “Chakram,” she corrected.

 

“Bless you,” the princess said, apparently thinking the bard had sneezed.  Gabrielle shook her head with a hopeless smile and turned back to mending one of the other children’s garments.

 

“I use it to fight evil,” the princess of Treus went on to the child, getting into her role.

 

The child was wide-eyed. “Tell us about it.” 

 

“Well…” Diana temporized, then plunged in with a will.  “Like the time I had to kill a lot of … of centaurs,” she said, grabbing the first mythical monster name she could think of.

 

Gabrielle was dismayed at the choice of bad guy for the story.  She knew many centaurs personally and both she and Xena thought them fine people.  She frowned and shook her head slightly at the princess.

 

Diana was quick on the uptake.  She saw the bard’s discomfort and hurriedly changed her story.  “Not centaurs, I mean, um, Cyclops’…” she glanced at the bard. 

 

Gabrielle pursed her lips, then shrugged.  Since one had tried to make a meal of her, she wasn’t fond of the creatures and didn’t mind if the princess made one the villain of her fanciful tale.  But she rolled her eyes when Diana said how there were hundreds of the monsters and how she’d slain them all with her trusty round thing. 

 

The redhead was concentrating on stitches and had stopped listening when the child asked ‘Xena’ to show them how the round thing worked.  She only looked back as she caught sight of the woman whirling the chakram around in preparation for a throw at a tree.  The bard was instantly frightened, for she knew what could happen if the weapon bounced and came back.  Diana or someone else could get killed or seriously injured.

 

“No,” she shrieked, but it was too late.  The chakram left the fake Warrior Princesses’ hand and flew through the air with a snarling sound.  More through unluckiness than any skill on Diana’s part, the weapon hit the tree dead on and rebounded off of it.  It then began ricocheting from various surfaces in the area.  Then it headed back towards them and everyone ducked in panic as it spun past just above their heads.  It rebounded once more and spun back past them again to strike right into the center of the golden crown of a kingly man who had just ridden into the area.  The crown split in half and the weapon caromed off one last time to finally stick vibrating in a tree.

 

The littlest girl finally broke the shocked silence as she clapped her hands and crowed, “Good shot!”

 

Gabrielle didn’t recognize the man on horseback, but Diana shouted joyously, “Father!” 

 

She ran towards the man who was dazedly feeling the top of his head where the gold crown had split off.  The king dismounted and embraced his armored daughter while a few guards on horseback now galloped up.

 

“It’s time to go home, daughter,” he said.  “The traitor has been caught and the plot to assassinate you is over.”

 

Gabrielle sighed in relief.  It seemed the masquerade was over.  Soon Xena would be back and their lives could continue as usual. 

 

She walked up in time to hear Diana say excitedly, “I’ve had such a fine adventure, Papa; I can’t wait to tell you all about it.  Is Philimon here?”

 

“No, he’s back at the castle with his brother who arrived yesterday,” said the king.  “The wedding can take place any day.”

 

“Oh.”  The princesses’ face fell and the word was spoken low. 

 

Gabrielle was surprised.  I thought she loved this Philimon guy, she thought.  Doesn’t she want to get married to him?

 

The king seemed not to notice.  He looked at the bard.  “And who is this,” he asked his daughter.

 

Diana was all smiles again.  “Oh, father, this is Gabrielle, Xena’s friend.  She has been so kind and helped me so much.  Gabrielle, this is my father, king Lias.”

 

Gabrielle made her best curtsy.  “I’m honored to meet your majesty.”

 

“It is MY honor,” said the king warmly.  “You have been of great service to the kingdom in this matter, and we shall always be in your debt.”

 

The bard felt her face grow hot with embarrassment.  “Thank you,” she said.  “It was nothing, I just looked after the princess.”  She straightened up.  “Xena really did everything important.  I take it she caught the assassins?”

 

“Near enough,” said the king.  He frowned.  “The scoundrel in charge of them hung himself in his quarters before we could take him for questioning.”

 

“His quarters?  It was someone in the castle, papa?”  Diana was shocked.

 

“Yes,” the king suddenly looked old.  He sighed.  “It was General Bromius.  I can hardly believe it.  I would have trusted him with my life.”

 

The princess was stunned as well.  “I CAN’T believe it!  Why would he of all people turn traitor?”

 

“People will do many things for money,” said her father bleakly.  “I’m afraid the slave traders must have bribed him into disloyalty.”  He stared into the distance for a moment, then smiled.  “Anyway, thanks to Xena and Gabrielle, the danger is over and we must get back to the castle.  You have a marriage to prepare for.”

 

“Yes, papa,” Diana sighed and Gabrielle wondered again at what was bothering her. 

 

She turned to the princess and smiled.  “Well, your highness.  I guess this is goodbye.  It’s been nice knowing you.  I wish you the best … with everything,” she whispered.

 

Then king Lias spoke. “Oh, Gabrielle,” he said, “Xena wants you to return to the castle with us rather than to stay here.”

 

“Really, your highness?”  The bard said in surprise.  She had thought she would be waiting for the warrior to return.  “I mean, of course.  Whatever you wish.”

 

He nodded and turned away as the petite redhead smiled at Diana.  “Looks like we’re going back together, I’d better start packing up Argo for the trip.”

 

“I’m glad,” the princess smiled.  “I wanted to give you something personally for all your help and patience taking care of me.  This will make it easy since you’ll be right at the castle.”

 

Gabrielle was embarrassed.  “You don’t owe me anything, your highness.  I was glad to help.”

 

Diana hugged the bard and whispered, “Dear friend, Xena may have saved my life, but you’ve taught me more in the last two days than I’ve learned in the last two years and I want you to know I appreciate it all.”

 

The bard hugged her back, aware once more of how much it felt like hugging Xena, and then pulled away.  “I’d better get started,” she smiled.

 

As Gabrielle went towards Argo, she overheard as Diana turned and spoke to her father.  “Papa, do you have any dinars?”

 

“Of course,” he said in surprise. “Why?”

 

“Could you let me have some?  I want to give them to Mellas and his family.”  She pointed excitedly at the ragged family still sitting on the temple steps.

 

“You mean here and now?”  He frowned.  “My dear, do I look like a merchant?  I don’t carry a pouch with dinars on me.  I’m a king, for heavens sake.  Why would I need to carry money?  Ask my treasurer for some.”

 

“But I need it now,” she said disappointedly.  “THEY need it now.”

 

“Well, um, if you must,” he said.  “Sergeant!  Come here please.”

 

The soldier ran up and came to attention.  “Yes, sire.  Your command?”

 

“Give me your purse, will you?  There’s a good man.”

 

The soldier looked oddly at the monarch.  “S-Sire?”

 

“Your purse, give it to me,” the king snapped.  “Don’t worry, man!  You’ll be reimbursed!”

 

“Y-Yes, sire,” the soldier took out his purse and handed it to the king, trying not to look scandalized.

 

“Thank you, that’s all.  You may go, Sergeant.”  The king turned away from the unhappy soldier, hefting the pouch.  “Here you are, daughter.  Feels like a fair amount in here,” he said grandly.

 

“Thanks, Papa.”  Diana ran over to the family.  “Gabrielle and I need to go now, but we want you to keep the food … and this as well.”  She gave Mellas the purse.  “Here is a first bit of Royal Aid for you,” she said with a smile.

 

Mellas looked in the purse with a hint of shock on his face.  “By the gods!  Oh, thank you, Xena!  This will keep us in food for a week.  Who is that kindly man who gave you the money?”

 

Diana dimpled.  “That’s the king,” she whispered.  “I told you I knew him personally!”

 

Gabrielle smiled to herself and began securing the gear to the big golden horse.

 

* * *

 

Somewhat later back at the royal castle, Diana, Gabrielle and king Lias came into the courtyard.  The bard was looking about with interest at the new surroundings, the king was carrying the two halves of his crown, and the princess was talking animatedly with her father as she had all the way from the abandoned temple.  “I’m telling you Papa, they have nothing!  I listened to them.  Bromius wasn’t the only corrupt official in our midst.  We have to make sure that the charity intended for the poor actually GETS to them…”

 

The king was looking thoughtful as his daughter spoke and Gabrielle was proud of her; she had made a good case for reform of the whole King’s Aid system.  She would make a good queen.  But at that moment, the redhead’s heart leapt, for there came Xena … in a pink DRESS.  A handsome man with a tan beard and blue eyes accompanied her, but the bard’s eyes were only on Xena.  By the gods, she looks soooooo sexy in that; I could eat her alive.

 

“I take it your journey among the ‘little people’ was educational?”  The Warrior Princess drawled to Diana, shooting a quick smile with her eyes to her partner.

 

The princess was all smiles.  “You were right.  They’re not little at all.  They’re grand and they’re warm.”  She turned to her father, “And they deserve so much more from us...”

 

The king was firm.  “We can discuss all this later.  You have a future husband to meet.”

 

Husband?  Ah, the wonderful Philimon, Gabrielle thought.  This must be him.  Nice eyes.  Kinda cute, if you like beards ... and men of course.  With interest Gabrielle noticed that her warrior shot the bearded man a powerful glance from her steel blue eyes, as if asking him a silent question.  A question which he steadfastly ignored.  Hmmm, she thought, what’s all this now?  She was certain that her partner’s look concealed irritation.

 

At that moment, the bearded man bowed and spoke. “Welcome home your highness.”  As he spoke, the look Xena gave him was even sharper.  Curiouser and curiouser, thought the bard.  What didn’t she like about that statement?  She’s REALLY miffed at him; what’s going on?  Still ignoring the warrior, the man continued.  “My brother looks forward to his introduction.”  He sank to one knee and lowered his head.

 

Uh, oh.  ‘My brother’?  This is NOT Philimon?  Gabrielle glanced at Diana.

 

The princess of Treus looked anything but happy; when she spoke her voice was both tender and sad.  “Arise, Philimon.  We’re soon to be family.”

 

Oh, no.  This IS Philimon, and he’s NOT who she’s gonna marry!  Everything suddenly fell into place for the bard, from Xena’s looks and Philimon’s steadfastly ignoring her, to Diana’s look of sadness.  It was obvious that Xena knew about Diana loving the tan-haired man.  It was further obvious that he loved her too.  From her looks at him, Xena knew that as well, and had been prodding him to reveal his feelings for the princess.  That he wasn’t going to do that because of his brother’s commitment to the royal marriage was clear as well.  Gabrielle wondered how the brother felt about the whole marriage thing, or if he even cared.  He apparently hadn’t even met his bride-to-be yet.  No matter what, it’s gonna be a mess, the bard thought sadly as she watched the king, Diana and Philimon all go into the main hall together.  Poor Diana.  They’re gonna be one big unhappy family right from the get go.  I hope she thinks it’s worth it.

 

She sighed, then went over to her partner who had been watching the three leave as well.  They looked at each other and the bard smiled, trying to lighten the mood.  “Nice place, a girl could get used to this!”

 

“Well, don’t,” Xena grumped, obviously still infuriated with Diana and Philimon.  “We’re leaving here as soon as I can get outa this outfit.”

 

“I like it,” the bard grinned trying to get a rise out of her partner.  Ohhh, do I ever.  You look so HOT!  God’s, I’d love to take you out of this dress and show you just how MUCH I like it.  She looked the warrior up and down saucily.

 

Xena wasn’t having any.  “We’re GOING to be in Corinth by nightfall!”  She said loudly.  “I can’t wait to get my stuff back from Diana.”  She headed off, with the bard trailing after her.  As she followed, Gabrielle noticed two men standing on the battlements just above.  One was dressed like a rich merchant with poor taste; the other was a castle guard.  It looked to her as if they were watching the two women, but were trying not to appear that they were.  Just as they passed out of view of the two, Gabrielle saw the merchant type whisper something to the guard, who grinned unpleasantly.

 

The bard felt cold inside.  Something was up; she felt it in her bones.  “Xena,” she whispered hurriedly as she caught up to the warrior.

 

“What?”  At her tone, the warrior turned to her friend, a question in her blue eyes.

 

Glancing around to see if anyone was nearby, Gabrielle pulled Xena into a small alcove.  The warrior grinned and hugged her.  “My, my, little one.  Did you miss me that much?”

 

“You know I did, sweetheart.” The bard smiled for a moment, then went on seriously. “But that’s not why I dragged you in here.  Didja see those two guys outside on the battlements?”

 

“Yes?”  The warrior’s face was bland.

 

“I think they mean trouble,” the petite redhead whispered.  “Have you checked them out?”

 

“Checked them out?  Whatever for?”  The warrior’s face was still bland, but something in her eyes gave her away.

 

“Quit kidding,” the bard put her hands on her hips and cocked her head.  “You HAVE checked them, haven’t you.”  She made it a statement, not a question.

 

Xena grinned suddenly.  “Yes, I have, miss smarty bard, and they’re thick as thieves.  In fact they’re my main suspects in this whole thing.”  She sobered.  “I’m certain they murdered poor Bromius and tried to make everyone think he killed himself to escape justice.  So far everyone but me does.”  The warrior looked glum.  “It was my fault he was under suspicion, you know.”

 

Gabrielle was gentle.  “Why do you say that, Xena?”

 

The Warrior Princess was unhappy.  “I caught one of the assassins, then questioned him using pressure on his nerve points.  He implicated Bromius and I was so sure of myself that I didn’t keep at him as long as I could have.”  She swallowed.  “It was a setup.  The others had already murdered Bromius when we got to him.  I realized immediately that he couldn’t have hanged himself without something to stand on, but I kept quiet, hoping to get a clue as to his murderer.”

 

“And did you?”

 

“Yeah.  It was Glauce, the guy you saw outside with the guard.  The bastard was so smug that he even had the gall to suggest that Bromius had hung himself in remorse for turning traitor.  I knew right then, but before I could get king Lias alone to tell him, he blew my cover in front of everyone by calling me Xena and saying it was safe for Diana to come back.”  The warrior sighed.  “It was foolish on his part, but in one way I couldn’t blame him.  He was nervous about her being out there on her own all that time and wanted her back in the castle.”

 

Gabrielle cupped Xena’s chin and looked into the pained blue eyes.  “So why do you say that Bromius being murdered was your fault?” she asked gently.  “If it was a setup, he was probably already dead while you were questioning that guy.  It’s not your fault they picked him as their ‘scapegoat, so stop beating yourself up about it.”

 

Tears shown in Xena’s eyes as she hugged her friend tightly.  “You’ve got it all figured out, haven’t you?  Even me.  You don’t miss much do you?”

 

“Not much, except you,” said the redhead, snuggling into the embrace.  “I certainly missed you all right.”  She kissed Xena’s neck before she continued.  “I noticed you were talking really loudly out there and I wondered why at the time.  Now I know; you wanted them to hear you say we were leaving.”  She grinned to herself as she went on.  “But I’m not sure why is it that Diana and Philimon won’t just admit that they’re in love and get married.”

 

The raven-haired woman started, then looked down at her partner with a smile of respect.  “My, my.  You miss even LESS than I thought you did.  Good girl.  So have you figured out my plan as well?”

 

Gabrielle colored faintly at the praise.  “Well,” she said, tracing a line with her fingers down her partner’s cheek, under her chin and down her chest to the low neckline of the pink dress.  “I’d say yer gonna continue to pose as Diana, while sending her off with me.  She’ll pretend to be you again, while you set a trap for those guys.  Once they’re outa the way, you’ll fetch her back.  The only thing I haven’t figured out is how yer gonna get her and Philimon to come outa the closet with their love, but then that’s why you’re the hero and I’m the sidekick.”

 

Xena looked at the small woman solemnly.  “Gabrielle, don’t demean yourself.  You are so much MORE than my sidekick, that I can’t even explain it to you.  If you weren’t with me, I’d be lost, utterly and completely.  The god’s only know how I’ve missed you too these past days.”  She hugged the surprised bard to her for a moment, then tipped her face up and kissed her lover deeply.

 

When they broke the kiss, it was the petite redhead’s eyes that were glistening.  “I feel the same way about you, my sweet, bold, love,” she whispered softly.  “There is nowhere in the world I want to be … but with you.”

 

They stared deep into one another’s eyes for long moments, and the love between them seemed almost a tangible thing.  Then Xena sighed and pulled back.  “As for Diana and Philimon, I have an idea that might get the ball rolling for them, but in the end, they have to make that decision for themselves.  No one else can.”

 

Gabrielle looked at her friend.  “You’re right of course.  So what do we do now?”

 

The Warrior Princess was all business again.  She peered cautiously out of the alcove before speaking in a low voice.  “We need to talk to Diana in private.  I’m certain we can get her to go along with the plan, but this time no one else but we three can know what’s going on when I take her place.  The king is a good man, but if he knew he wouldn’t stand for it.  Philimon is as smitten with Diana as she is with him, but he’s too committed to being honorable.  His brother’s interest is not in Diana, just in the merger between their two kingdoms and he’d marry a harpy if it suited his purpose.”  She tapped her chin with a knuckle before continuing.  “Aside from them, no other opinions matter and anyway, there’s no one else we can trust.”

 

Gabrielle nodded.  “So tell me what you need me to do.”

 

* * *

 

They were traveling the north road again, and were nearing the outskirts of the village.  Gabrielle walked along beside Argo, as Diana, again dressed like Xena rode the golden mare.  The princess sat the big horse with much more confidence now, swaying easily with the animal’s gait.  They did not talk much.  Gabrielle was thinking of a story, and Diana had ceased to talk, instead running over in her mind all the parts of the plan that Xena had come up with.  This was two fold.  One part of the plan consisted of getting Diana away from the castle so that Xena could root out and foil the remaining assassins.  The second part consisted of Diana getting Philimon to realize that she loved him.

 

Before they had left the castle, Xena and Gabrielle had visited Diana in her private chamber, and the warrior had outlined all of her suspicions and her entire plan for the princess.  She had talked long and seriously with the woman who looked so much like her, about Philimon and about how he really felt about the princess.  Diana had at first been shocked, and then delighted to learn that the tan-haired man returned her love.  She had been in love with him almost since the day they had met when he had come to plead his brother’s case for the joining by marriage of the two royal houses, but she had never had an idea that he felt the same way about her.

 

She had wanted to run to him and tell him so, but the Warrior Princess pointed out that this might make his sense of duty actually drive him away.  After all, Philimon had said nothing about his own desires so far.  In fact he seemed determined to remain silent, so Xena had concocted a plan to get him to reveal his feelings directly to the princess.  At the proper moment, she, as Diana, would send Philimon to fetch back Xena (Diana) as the only person they trusted to save the princess from the real assassins.  When Philimon arrived, Diana (as Xena) would ask the tan haired man why he had not revealed his love for Diana.  If he finally did so, it was then up to the princess to reveal herself and to convince the reluctant swain that they needed to be together no matter what anyone else thought.

 

Anyway, here they now were.  Xena was back at the castle and Gabrielle and Diana were out on the road and had been for several hours.  Now as they were passing a roadside vegetable stand, there was the sound of fast hoof-beats on the trail behind them.

 

Gabrielle glanced back.  “It’s him.  You ready, ‘Xena’?”  Said the bard in a low tone.

 

“As I’ll ever be,” the nervous princess gulped.

 

“Xena!”  Philimon rode up in haste and clods of dirt flew from his horse’s hooves.

 

“What is it?”  Diana pulled Argo around and faced him.

 

The tan haired man was in a desperate hurry.  His hair was blown about and his eyes were wild.  “You must return to the castle.  Bromius was murdered!  Obviously by other conspirators!  The princess is still in danger!”

 

Before Diana could speak, he spun his horse around and began galloping back the way he had come obviously expecting her to follow.  “He was supposed to stop,” she whispered frantically to Gabrielle.  “What should I do?”

 

“Guess you’d better catch up to him,” whispered the redhead. 

 

The nervous Diana immediately galloped off following Philimon.  What about ME, thought the bard in irritation.  She called out, “I’ll just, uh … no, don’t mind me.  I’m fine.”

 

The galloping princess showed no signs of having heard her.  Yeah, don’t mind me.  Geeze.  I guess she didn’t!  What should I do now?  Hmmm.  If Diana has any sense, she’ll get him to pull up well before they reach the castle.  Then all will be revealed and everyone can live happily ever after.  Maybe I can catch up if I head that way.  She began trotting in the direction the horses had gone.

 

Gabrielle was in good shape; she had to be to have followed Argo and Xena on foot over so many miles of rugged country.  She covered ground at a respectable pace for about ten minutes, then came around a curve in the wooded trail and saw Argo and the other horse standing there cropping grass.  But where were the two humans?  She moved up a bit further and then saw Diana and Philimon beyond the horses.  The two were standing in some tall grass beside the road, kissing deeply and seemed quite involved.

 

Ahhh, thought the petite woman, all’s well that ends well.  Xena must have sprung the trap by now, or she wouldn’t have sent Philimon out here to begin with.  The two lovebirds are getting together.  There’ll be new aid to the poor once Diana becomes queen.  Mellas and his family will get help till he finds work.  And Xena and I can get back together as well.  Not bad for a few days work.  She grinned.  What a great romantic story this’ll make.  She had hardly completed this thought when the still entwined princess and prince-to-be suddenly sank down into the tall grass.  A moment later Diana’s voice came in a happy giggle and a piece of her clothing was flung into the air.  Ahem, thought the bard, feeling her face turn red.  Maybe the story’ll need a BIT of editing…

 

* * *

 

Xena and Gabrielle stood on the battlement looking down at the wedding party taking place in the courtyard.  Lively dance music and laughter wafted through the air along with the smell of wonderful dishes, and the sounds of many people enjoying a good time.  King Lias walked smiling through the crowd in his finest clothes, topped by his restored crown, talking and laughing as much as anyone.  Diana and Philimon, just married, were sitting at the head feast table and as the bard and warrior watched, they kissed each other long and hard.

 

Gabrielle sighed, looking at the happy royal pair.  “It’s so romantic isn’t it?”

 

Xena smiled wryly.  “Very…”

 

“I hope I find someone who’ll make me smile like that…” the bard said in a teasing tone, trying for a rise out of the dour warrior.

 

Xena refused to take the bait.  “I’m sure you will,” she bantered.  “Just don’t be afraid to speak up when it happens … Of course,” she continued slyly, “that’s never been a problem with you, has it?”

I’ll get you for that Warrior Princess, thought the bard, see if I don’t.  Aloud she said, “She’s so beautiful, look how her hair shines.”

 

“They sure brush it enough,” said the warrior wonderingly.

 

“Wait’ll you see Argo’s tail …” the redhead snickered.  As they started down the stairs to the courtyard, Gabrielle tried a little research for future reference.  “So, what was it like being her?”

 

Xena was thoughtful.  “Not as much fun as you might think…”

 

“Really.”  Gabrielle was unconvinced.

 

“Uh, huh.”

 

“Oh, come on, you had people waiting on you hand and foot,” she said in disbelief.  “Fulfilling your every whim…”

 

“Hey, that’s what YER here for…” the Warrior Princess grinned, turning the tables on her bard once again.

 

That’s it, try to change the subject when you don’t wanna talk about it.  Frustrated, as they reached the ground Gabrielle tried again.  “You had all the riches a person could desire and you didn’t enjoy that?”

 

“It’s just not me…” Xena said firmly and the bard found herself believing it … until a servant passed by carrying a tray of puffy round balls made of dough and covered with sugar.  The warrior quickly snatched two of them from the plate and handed one to her friend.  “Try one of these, they’re incredible,” she said, taking a bite and closing her eyes in ecstasy. “We had them for dessert every night…”

 

Gotcha!  Gabrielle looked at her friend with a knowing grin, and the Warrior Princess gave up the fight.  “Hey, I didn’t say I COULDN’T get used to it,” she said defensively.

 

The servant standing nearby, smiled, held out the tray and said, “Some more?”

 

That was his undoing.  “Thannnk you!”  The warrior said as she took the whole tray out of the surprised man’s hands and began walking off into the crowd with it.  The embarrassed bard shrugged at the gaping servant and followed her lover.

 

* * *

 

It was the next evening, and the two friends were camped outside the abandoned temple again.  The campfire was crackling and Gabrielle was seated on the ground on a brand new bedroll.  She fingered the soft new blankets and groundsheet with pleasure.  The bedroll had been a parting gift from Diana, and was much more expensive than the bard’s old one had been.  She was certain that it would keep her toasty warm during the coming winter months, and she resolved to treat it well.

 

They had finished dinner not long before and she was writing on a scroll while Xena was sharpening her sword as usual.  Suddenly there was a clink and the warrior cursed. 

“Are you okay?” called the bard anxiously.  “You didn’t cut yourself did you?”

 

Xena was irritated.  “No, dammit, I just broke my last sharpening stone.”  She hurled the pieces into the bushes and got up.  She put her sword away and then said, “I’ve gotta get another one.  I’m going into the village.”

 

Gabrielle was amused.  “Can’t it wait until morning?  Do you just have to have it tonight?”

 

Hands on hips, the warrior looked at her partner.  “When yer in the middle of writing and break yer last pen, do ya want a new one tomorrow, or right now?”

 

“Okay, okay.  I see your point.”  Geeze.  Gabrielle was used to her lover’s fits and foibles.  Usually Xena was calm and collected, but sometimes her volatile nature got the better of her and when that happened, the least little thing could upset her good mood.  The bard had learned to deal with such times as best she could.  “So, d’you want me to come along?” she asked, hoping the answer was no.  She was in the middle of a complex bit of writing and hated to leave it in the middle.

 

“No need,” said the warrior.  “I’ll only be an hour or so.  There’s nothing for you to do there anyway, except to wait around for me and I know yer busy writing.”  She came over and lifted the bard’s hair away and bent down to kiss her bare neck.  “Maybe when I get back, we can … go to bed,” she whispered, her breath warm on the young woman’s skin.

 

Gabrielle felt duck bumps arise and shivered.  She turned her head and kissed Xena’s mouth softly.  “Sounds like a plan,” she whispered back huskily.

 

Xena hugged her for a moment, then got up and went over to Argo and swung into the saddle.  “Be back as soon as I can,” she called.

 

“I’ll be here,” Gabrielle waved.  “Be careful.”

 

“Always.”  Xena waved back and swung Argo onto the path to the village.  “Let’s go, girl,” she said and the big horse responded by breaking into a trot.

 

Gabrielle still felt tingly all over from the kiss.  She sighed as Argo’s hoof beats receded.  Yeah, like I can concentrate now, she grumbled.  She had no idea what she had been writing, and even re-reading the words she had down didn’t help.  She finally put the scroll and pen away and began tidying up the camp.  

 

Xena had only been gone for about ten minutes, when the bard heard a rustle in the bushes nearby.  The noise was too loud for any small animal, and she became alert instantly.  Now what, she thought nervously, as she edged towards her staff.  Xena has just left and the god’s only know when she’ll be back.  Dammit, can’t I catch a break at all?  A small breeze suddenly carried a scent to her nose.  That almost smells like Diana’s perfume, the bard thought with shock.  But it CAN’T be.  What in Tartarus?

 

There was another rustle and grabbing the staff, Gabrielle faced the bushes.  “All right,” she said harshly.  “You might as well come out.  I know yer in there.”  She was ready for anything from Pando the pig farmer, to Mellas and his family, but when the tall form in the pink dress stepped out of the bushes into the firelight, the stunned bard dropped the staff.

 

“D-Diana?”  She choked.  “Your highness ... w-what are you doing here?  Is there more trouble?”

 

“Boy, I’m glad she’s finally gone,” smiled the princess of Treus, indicating the direction Xena had ridden off in.  “I was really tired of waiting out there.” Gabrielle just stared with her mouth open.  Diana pouted.  “I had a very hard time getting here, you know.  At least you could say you’re happy to see me.”

 

The petite redhead was bewildered.  “H-Happy?  Are you alone?  Wh-Where’s Philimon?”

 

“I don’t know and I don’t care…” snapped the princess.  “I’ve left the castle and I’ll never go back.”

 

“W-what?”

 

“I want to be one of the little…” she stopped and continued.  “Sorry, I know you don’t like that term.  I want to be one of the ‘ordinary people’ and travel with you!”

 

“With us?  B-But Xena and I travel alone…”

 

“Not with you and Xena, just you and ME,” the princess purred, stepping close to the redhead.  “You and I are all that we need,” she whispered, and made as if to kiss Gabrielle, who jumped backwards almost in panic.

 

“Your majesty!”  Her voice squeaked.  “What in Tartarus are you doing?”

 

Diana laughed.  “Oh, come on, little one … don’t pretend to be so naive.  I’m sure you know the facts of life.  We don’t need Xena for this…” 

 

She started to pull down the top of her dress and Gabrielle all but shrieked, “Diana, STOP that!”

 

“You don’t REALLY want me to stop, do you?”  The princess stuck out her lip and pouted again.  She fixed her blue eyes on the bard’s and licked her lips.  She started forward again.

 

“Now, now, look here, Diana … princess,” the bard said sincerely, backing away.  “You’re a very nice person, and I like you a lot, but you’re married and I’m in love with someone else.  This could never work.”

 

“I don’t HAVE to be married,” the princess whined.   “I can get a divorce.  Besides, he didn’t satisfy me...” Her voice dropped to a purr.  “And I could tell by the way you looked at me.  You wanted me…”

 

The bard blushed.  “No, I didn’t…”

 

“Yes, you did,” the princess whispered with a sultry smile.

 

The bard narrowed her eyes.  “NO …  I … DIDN’T!  It wasn’t YOU, you silly woman.  You just reminded me of XENA!”

 

“Xena?  You’re saying you’re in love with HER?”  The princess stared as if in disbelief.  “How COULD you be in love with HER?  Granted, she’s a good fighter, but I’m a princess and she’s so coarse and rough, she dresses so badly … doesn’t even wear perfume.  I mean really…”

 

“I love her,” Gabrielle spoke quietly.  “That’s all you need to know.”

 

Diana sneered.  “How could you love her?  Why she’s a killer, everybody says so.  She’s no better than those assassins who wanted to kill me…”

 

“That’s ENOUGH!”  The bard’s voice was deadly.  She grabbed her staff.  “I don’t care if you are royalty, if you say another word about Xena, I’ll give you a good whack with this.”  She advanced grimly on the princess, who stood as if shocked.  “Xena is my love; my ONLY love.  She is all I ever wanted and all I ever WILL want!  Now you get out of our camp before I kick you out.”  The princess didn’t move and she angrily raised the staff.

 

“Gabrielle…” 

 

Shocked, the bard dropped the staff again.  With that one word, the raven-haired woman’s voice had changed completely, she seemed to straighten up and fill out; even her body posture was different.  The redhead stared.

 

“It’s me, Gabrielle.”  The bard stood stunned as the woman advanced to her.

 

“X-Xena?”

 

“No other,” smiled the woman, putting her arms around the bard and lowering her lips as if to kiss her.

 

Gabrielle turned her head aside.  “Now, now … w-wait just a minute here.  H-How do I know that?”

 

“It’s really me, Gabrielle.  It’s Xena.  Come on, I was just kidding around.”

 

“Oh, no, you don’t, Diana.”  The bard growled, pushing at her.  “Xena played you, how do I know you aren’t playing HER now, just like you did in the tavern?”

 

“I’m not.  It really is me, Gabrielle.”

 

“Prove it!  Prove you’re Xena,” the bard said, continuing to turn her head away and push at the larger woman.

 

“All right.  It’s me … my dear one,” the woman whispered, kissing her ear.

 

At the words ‘my dear one’, the bard stopped struggling instantly as she felt the tingle go through her that she always felt when the warrior used those words. She looked up.  “Xena,” she whispered.  “It IS you.”

 

“Yes, it is.”  Smoldering blue eyes met brilliant green as the taller woman lowered her mouth to the bard’s.  Their lips met, and Gabrielle sank into the warm haze that she always did when she and her partner kissed.  They clung together for long moments as the kiss deepened and the feeling spread like the opening of a flower in the spring sunlight.

Finally they stood just holding one another. 

 

Gabrielle spoke huskily.  “This dress … where did you get it?”

 

“Had it in Argo’s saddlebags.  I doubled back after I left and put it on before I snuck back here.” Xena frowned.  “Believe you me, it was a bitch getting through the woods wearing it.  Dunno how Diana wears these things.”

 

“B-But where did you get it?”

 

“Well, I didn’t accept any reward for that whole business,” the warrior grinned.  “But I figured Diana and her father at least owed us that much.”

 

“So you got it from Diana.  And the perfume too?”

 

“Yeah, it’s hers,” snickered the warrior.  “I asked her for a bottle with the dress; I knew you’d know it was me without it.”

 

“So, along with everything else, you had this whole thing planned too?”  The bard was unbelieving.

 

“You betcha.  I didn’t even break my sharpening stone.  Just chucked a couple of pebbles away.  I’ve been planning this ever since I saw how much you liked me in this dress,” the warrior grinned.

 

“You horrible woman!”  The bard yelled. “You did all this just to TEST me?  Let go of me!  I really SHOULD whack you one!”

 

Xena held on and gazed deep into the sea green eyes that she loved.  When she spoke, her voice was totally serious.  “No, sweetheart, I wasn’t trying to test you.  I just thought it would be funny.  I know you love me just as I love you.  Please believe me when I say that there has never been any question of that in my mind.  Not ever.  You are my friend, my lover, my helpmate, my family, the other half of my soul.  And my last moment on earth will be happy if only I get to see your dear face and speak your name as I die.”

 

Gabrielle stared at her partner. “Oh, Xena, my dearest, my love, my life…” she choked. Tears ran down her face as she kissed the warrior, and as she did, her lips formed into the smile of love that she could never help but make when she kissed her beloved.

 

A bit later, both of them were naked on the bard’s new bedroll.  Xena straddled her young lover and was kissing her all over, nibbling and licking and tasting her.  At the same time, her hands stroked and tickled the taut nipples and firm abdomen beneath her making the petite redhead sigh and gasp with desire. 

 

As the warrior worked her way down to began kissing the insides of Gabrielle’s creamy thighs, the bard suddenly grinned to the night sky and moaned, “Ohhh, yes, Diana … that’s sooo good…”

 

Xena’s head came up like a rock from a catapult.  Her blue eyes were wide as she stared at the green orbs sparkling with humor and love.  “WHAT did you just say?”

 

“Gotcha,” chuckled the bard, poking her in the ribs.  “Now we’re even.”

 

“’Oh, Diana’, huh?” growled the Warrior Princess.  “We’ll see whose name you moan in a few minutes, little bard.”  And she lowered her face to the petite woman’s body again, kissing and stroking the hot flesh of the bard’s silky thighs and vital center until Gabrielle moaned and shuddered with ecstasy.  And then finally, when the bard did speak again, it was to croon Xena’s name over and over like a prayer until she shouted her love for her warrior to the stars.

 

* * *

 

It was the next day and the two friends were on the trail again.  The sun was warm, the grass and plants smelled sweet and a faint breeze played over them as birds sang and insects hummed in the brush.  Both women looked happy and contented as Xena rode Argo and Gabrielle strode along beside them.  Many times the bard glanced up at her lover and each time the warrior was tenderly watching her.  They just sort of meandered along, for on this day, Xena for once seemed to be in no particular hurry to get anywhere.  Finally she even dismounted and began walking along with the bard, leading the golden horse.  The two smiled and held hands as they walked slowly along just enjoying the scenery and each other and often looked with love into one another’s eyes. 

 

They were passing through an area of bushes and light trees when there was a sudden squealing shriek and a shout of rage nearby.

 

“What’s that?”  Instantly back to being the supreme warrior, Xena came on alert and let go of Gabrielle’s hand.

 

“I dunno,” said the bard, readying her staff.  “Sounds like a fight maybe.”

 

“Yeah.”  Xena drew her sword.  “Let’s check it out.”

 

Leaving Argo, the two friends hurried into the bushes following the inarticulate sounds of shouting ahead.  In moments they came to the edge of a large muddy area in a depression; it was a pig-wallow.  In it stood a large man with his back to them.  He was up to his knees in the mud and shaking a butcher knife at a large sow that was backed up against a copse of bushes. 

 

“You Hades accursed dirty hog,” the man shouted.  “It’s the sausage maker for you…” Waving the weapon, he began to advance on the trapped pig.

 

Seeing no immediate danger, Xena put her sword away.  “Hey,” she said quietly. “What’s happening here?”

 

The burly man started in surprise, then spun around slipping and sliding in the mud. When he saw the two women standing there, his eyes went wide as the color drained out of his face. Dropping the knife he backed up hastily, missed his footing and fell on his back in the mud.  As he did, the sow made a panicked leap for freedom and drove him beneath the muck when she stepped on his chest.  He surfaced spluttering after a moment, covered with mud and other things and wiped the slime out of his eyes.  When he saw the two still there, he backpedaled on his hands as fast as he could go.  He gained his feet, turned to run, slipped and went face first into it again.  Blindly he got up and kept running and sliding and slammed into a fence post, but staggered past and began limp-running away as fast as he could go.

 

“What in Tartarus is his problem?”  The warrior stared after the departing Pando.  She looked bewildered.

 

“Search me,” said the bard, examining her fingernails with interest.  “Guess he’s just one of those people who don’t like strangers.”

 

Xena raised an eyebrow, but Gabrielle just smiled and took the warrior’s large calloused hand in her small soft ones.  “Ready to go, sweetheart?”  She asked, kissing the palm of the hand tenderly.

 

The Warrior Princesses’ lips quirked upwards and her blue eyes held a twinkle as she regarded the redhead suspiciously for a moment.  Then she shrugged.  “You got it, honey.”

 

Regaining the road, the bard and the warrior rejoined the golden horse and began peacefully walking once again through the verdant green landscape drenched with sun.  And as they went they laughed and talked as only those who are the best of friends and lovers do.

 

The End