COPYRIGHT DICLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.
NOTE:
All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.
DISCLAIMER:
I believe Xena and Gabrielle are the sweetest of lovers and have been almost since they met, so I write them that way. If you really hate this idea or are under 18, go find some Gen-Fanfic to read, there are plenty of really good ones out there. The rest of you settle in and (hopefully) enjoy.
SPOILERS:
There are many for the season 1 episode, A Fistful of Dinars.
FEEDBACK:
Send comments burnt or lightly under-done to: [email protected]
AUTHORS NOTE:
This story is the follow up to my alt-Xena stories Dream Lover and Ripples in the Stream. It can be read as a stand-alone, but you may enjoy it more if you have read them first.
* * *
A Fistful of Troubles
By WLMcCord (Bill the Semi Bard) © 9-4-2000
Kneeling down, Xena silently placed the last stone on the cairn
covering Petracles’ ashes. Her face was
a blank mask, concealing any trace of what might be going on behind it. She took out a small pouch, undid the string
and dumped out a flexible silver bracelet of the type that lovers gave one
another for betrothal. She turned it
over in her large hand, looking at it with no expression.
There was a small cough behind her, and she looked around to see
Gabrielle standing there. The petite
woman was holding her scroll bag and a spray of brilliant wildflowers. The green stems and bright colours brought
out the burnt-orange hues of her skirt and top.
The bard looked at Xena and her green eyes were troubled. “A-Are you all right?”
The Warrior Princess said nothing, but turned back to the pile of
head-sized rocks. A tear trickled
unnoticed down her cheek as she put the wedding bracelet back into the pouch
and tied it shut. Then she picked up
one of the stones and placed the pouch in the depression where it had
been. Silently she placed the stone
over the pouch and let her fingers remain on top of it for a moment. Gabrielle came up and knelt beside her,
placing the wildflowers on the stones.
Both of them stared at the pile in silence while thoughts went through
their minds like dead leaves swirling around in an autumn wind. And their thoughts were…
“Oh, gods. I’m such a
fool. I don’t deserve you. Please forgive me. I’m sorry.”
“I’m such a fool. I’m
sorry. I know I don’t deserve it, but
please forgive me.”
Finally Xena stood up, pulling Gabrielle with her and whistled for
Argo. When the golden mare trotted up,
she mounted and silently offered a hand up to the small redhead. Gabrielle looked at her for a moment, and
pain shown in her eyes. Xena saw the
pain, and her heart sank, but her stolid expression did not change. Then the bard grasped the offered hand and
clambered up behind her.
Once firmly in place she spoke.
“X-Xena?”
“What.” The word carried no inflection
as the warrior reined Argo around towards the trail.
“We … We need to talk about this.”
“Not now we don’t,” said the warrior firmly. “Get up, Argo.”
As the big palomino broke into a trot, Gabrielle hugged her arms around
her dark haired warrior lover and pressed her face into the muscled,
leather-clad back.
“Yes, we do,” she said under her breath so softly that she was certain
only she could hear it. Despite this,
Xena heard the words whispered by the woman she loved as if they were a shout. Her face grew even stonier, but she said
nothing as she guided the big horse along the trail away from the grave.
Gabrielle watched the heap of rocks where the remains of the man who
had once been Xena’s lover and spouse to be, (and whose bearded lips the bard
had felt upon her own so very recently) were buried, and mourned her actions of
the last few days.
“Stupid,” she thought angrily as Argo’s gait caused her face to be
rubbed back and forth against Xena’s leathers.
“So stupid! Xena warned you about
him; not to be alone with him. Why did you do it, you stupid little girl? WHY?”
Was it because you wanted to see what it was like kissing someone who
had kissed your lover before YOU had?
Had made LOVE to her before you had?
Or was it because you had hardly ever kissed a man and wondered what he
would be like?
Sure, you cuddled with that kid in the temple during that thing with
the Titans, but it didn’t mean anything, even though you tried to make Xena
jealous of him.
Then there was Talus … he was so sweet. You and he might have had something, but there was too little
time before he died.
And oh, sure, you kissed Perdicus; lets not forget him (or maybe we
should). You were just a kid and you
were both fooling around, and he wanted to go all the way and so did you, but
you were still a maiden and were saving yourself. Not much change there, either, she thought with dour humor. You still ARE a maiden even though you are
no longer a virgin, and thank the gods and Xena for that.
Then there was Iolas that once.
Oh, but he WAS a man and he wasn’t fooling, but you felt … safe with
him; you knew he wouldn’t push it, and that was all right because you were
already feeling things for Xena that you were not certain of even though she
had kissed Hercules and they had even made love before Xena knew you.
And now there was this … this thing with Petracles. Ohhhhh!
Stop it, ‘Brielle! You belong to
Xena and she belongs to you, and you KNOW it!
You LOVE her! She loves you … or
at least she did.
But you let Petracles kiss you anyway and she knows he kissed you. She knew the second you came back.
Stupid, stupid fool! Damn your
curiosity! Will Xena ever make love
with you again? Will you ever feel her
smooth, muscled, nakedness against you again?
Will her sweet, loving, knowledgeable hands ever take you to the Elysian
Fields of pleasure again?
Gabrielle shivered at the memories.
Ever alert, the warrior felt the shiver run through her companion and
pulled Argo up. “Gabrielle?” Her voice was cool. “Are you all right?”
“Y-Yes…” came the answer.
“You were shivering. You sure
yer okay?”
“N-No, I mean yes, I mean I wasn’t s-shivering … I’m okay!” STUPID LITTLE GIRL!
“Hm. I see…” Xena said nothing
more, but her silence spoke volumes. They
rode on for a bit; it was getting dark.
The warrior pulled Argo off the road towards a stand of trees, reined
her in and offered her hand back to the bard.
“Get down. We’re not gonna make
it back tonight to that town where you left your staff for repair. We’d better make camp.”
“All right.” The bard’s usually
buoyant voice was subdued, and the warrior felt her heart falter within her,
but she didn’t seem to be able to think of what to say to bring up her small
friend’s spirits.
“Come on,” she repeated hoarsely, waving her hand a bit.
Silently, Gabrielle took it and dismounted. Then she began going about the business of setting up camp;
laying out the bedrolls, unpacking the cooking equipment and gathering wood
while Xena unsaddled Argo and brushed her down.
Some minutes later, as Gabrielle was making a fire, the Warrior
Princess left her sword and scabbard on her bedroll. She took her chakram and with a nod to her friend, jogged off
into the woods to look for dinner.
The bard looked glumly after her for a moment, then sighed and took the
water skins to the stream for filling.
* * *
Later, after a silent dinner of rabbit stew and vegetables, they sat on
their bedrolls across the fire from one another. The bard pretended to write in a scroll, and the warrior played
at sharpening her sword, but each was watching the other with sidelong
glances. Finally they both looked up,
caught one another’s eyes and spoke at the same moment.
“Gabrielle…”
“Xena…”
They both said “What?” at the same time, and then stopped
embarrassed. There was silence for a
moment, then they both said, “go ahead…” and Xena gave a short bark of laughter
while Gabrielle giggled.
Then Xena spoke soberly. “I’m
sorry, you were saying?”
The bard cleared her throat, then burst out with it. “Xena, we’ve gotta
talk about ... about what happened.”
The Warrior Princess sighed.
“Oh, gods, Gabrielle. I
know. I KNOW.” She shook her head. “I’ve been thinking about nothing else since
we burned the two bodies. Petracles with Thersites lying at his feet like the
dog that he was.”
“I-I’m sorry, Xena … it was all my fault it happened…”
“It certainly was NOT your fault!”
Xena snapped almost angry; then her face fell. When she spoke, her voice was soft and full of regret. “No, Gabrielle, if there is any fault here,
it’s mine. That bastard Thersites
almost killed you more than once. First
on that damned bridge and then when he took you hostage. I was almost too late to save you and it
scared me so much I couldn’t think straight … that and thinking Petracles was a
threat to us.”
The bard looked surprised. “But
Xena, I…”
The warrior interrupted her.
“No. Let me finish. I was more worried about my ex-lover than a
murderous assassin who cared nothing for human life.” Xena’s voice caught. “I
got careless. Because of my history
with him, I-I was paying so much attention to Petracles, that I wasn’t prepared
when Thersites made his move on you in the treasure trove. As a result, I let him get the upper hand
and grab the ambrosia and you as his hostage.”
The bard was watching her lover open-mouthed, but Xena didn’t notice as
she rushed on.
“Then I didn’t trust Petracles when he pretended to go along with
Thersites plan to be a god. I should
have realized that he was just trying to get close enough to the bastard to
free you, but I was so distrustful I didn’t see it…” Her voice trembled. “Petracles did what I should have done …
saved your life, and he didn’t deserve what happened to him.”
Gabrielle’s green eyes were wide.
“But, Xena…”
The warrior’s blue eyes filled and her voice was choked. “Gabrielle,
Petracles got killed and I almost LOST you to Thersites, because I was a
FOOL!” She put her face into her hands.
“Xena, oh, Xena!” The redhead
couldn’t stand it. She rushed to her
friend’s side and embraced her.
The Warrior Princess pulled the small woman tight and hugged her as if
she would never let go. “Oh, please
forgive me, Gabrielle, please. I’m
sorry.”
Gabrielle was stunned. “Y-You mean y-you don’t hate me?” Her relief was
so great that the redhead almost sobbed as she clung to the warrior.
It was Xena’s turn to be stunned.
When she found her voice again, it was bewildered. “Gabrielle, what ARE
you talking about? Hate you? How could I hate you? I LOVE you.”
Shamefaced, Gabrielle raised her head and looked into her lovers blue
eyes. “B-Because I let him k-kiss me…
Xena’s expression was bordering on the ludicrous. “’Let him kiss you?’ Who, Petracles? By the gods, Gabrielle, so he kissed you. Is THAT what you’ve been worried about? That he kissed you? I told you he was one to watch out for…”
The bard hung her head. “A-And
I didn’t listen … I-I was curious about why you seemed to hate him so much … I
thought there had to be more to the story than you told me, and … and I was
irritated when you didn’t take me seriously enough about Thersites scaring
me. So to get even, I went to talk to
him when I was gathering wood…”
The Warrior Princess looked at her lover soberly. “Gabrielle, you don’t have to tell me this…”
The petite redhead looked back at her steadily. “I know I don’t, but I want to, Xena,
because you deserve to know.” She sat
back on her knees and looked at her friend.
“You were right about Petracles being manipulative. He sucked me right in with a smooth tale
about how he had won you over, and had you.
Then he said he gave you up because he found out that when he won any
prize, he didn’t want it any more.”
Gabrielle’s expression was both chagrined and awed. “With just a few words he made me feel sorry
for him and his empty life. Then he
talked about how b-beautiful and perceptive I was and then before I knew it he
was kissing me…” She shook her head in disbelief. “I still can’t believe it…” She looked at the ground.
“Gabrielle. I’m not your
keeper,” the warrior said softly.
“I know, but Xena…” The bard’s cheeks flamed. “I … I enjoyed it …
The warrior grimaced. “I’m not
surprised. He is…” she winced as she
corrected herself, “…WAS a good kisser.” She sighed.
“He was one of my first experiences and I have to admit that he taught
me some things…”
Gabrielle’s voice was low, ashamed.
“B-But I … k-kissed him … back…”
The raven-haired woman nodded.
“So? Surely you know I’m not
some jealous fool to be swayed in my feelings by a stolen kiss or two. I love you; I know you love me. We belong to one another in a way that no
one like Petracles or anyone else could ever affect.”
“Xena…”
“Enough, Gabrielle.
Listen. I have been your first
and to date, only lover … you think I don’t know that? Of course you are still curious. Before we met, I had experiences with people
that you have never heard of, my dear one…”
“But he was a … a man … don’t you…”
“Gabrielle. Lips are lips and a
kiss is a kiss. I’ve found that as long
as the person is clean and someone you could like, it is possible to enjoy most
kisses regardless of who or what sex is attached to the lips at the other end.”
“Oh.” The bard looked almost disappointed. “So you don’t care that I kissed him?”
Xena raised a cool eyebrow. “I
didn’t say THAT, Gabrielle. I said I
understood you were curious.” Just then
Argo snorted and the warrior looked towards the horse and spoke casually. “So,
when you kissed him, did it make you … interested?” She looked back at the bard blandly.
Gabrielle pretended to study her hands. “Um, interested?” Her
voice was sly. “I don’t think I know
what yer gettin’ at...”
“I mean,” said the warrior sharply,
“did it make you want to bed him?”
“Bed him?” The petite woman
feigned puzzlement. “You mean like
sleep next to him? I suppose I wouldn’t
mind, but don’t you like sleeping next to me anymore?” She stuck out her lip and pouted.
The warrior was taken in hook, line and sinker. “Gabrielle, you KNOW what I mean! Did you want to MAKE LOVE to him!”
The bard laughed. “Gods,
no! Did your leg come off in my
hand? Geeze, I was kidding, ya know?”
“You red-haired minx,” Xena yelped, leaping forward from a sitting
position and landing on the surprised bard.
Holding her down, she began tickling the smaller woman unmercifully
until she rolled and squealed with laughter.
When the redhead was breathless from laughing, Xena stopped
tickling. Sitting on Gabrielle’s
stomach, she blew the hair away from her face.
“Now tell me the truth,” she grinned, looking down into the wide sea
green eyes, “or I’ll keep ticklin’ you
till ya bust! Were you interested?”
“No, I wasn’t,” gasped the bard still giggling. “When I …heehee…came to my senses, I …puff…
broke off the kiss and …haha… ran back to camp so fast I forgot the …pant…
firewood!”
“Humph.” The warrior looked at
her panting, giggling friend for a moment longer, then rolled off and lay on
her side, head on her hand. “Why would
you break it off? He was good; I KNOW.”
Gabrielle rolled over and looked at her lover. “Xena, I did break it off … you know why?”
The warrior looked at her in silence.
“I admit it … I was getting into it.
I was floating. It was good and
it felt wonderful, but his mustache and beard were tickling and I thought …
‘What the heck has Xena got on her face?’ and it brought me around. I opened my eyes and pulled away, and came
back to camp as fast as I could. That’s
the god’s honest truth.”
Xena stared. “So, let me get
this straight. When you were kissing
Petracles … you thought he was ME?”
“No, I didn’t think he WAS you, I just got sorta … you know, caught up
in the moment … sampling the goods, as it were…”
The raven-haired woman frowned.
“They musta been pretty GOOD goods.”
“We’ll, you did say he taught you a few things…” grinned the bard
saucily. “Except for the whiskers it
felt a LOT like you, actually.”
Xena smirked. “And how do you
know that what you felt wasn’t something that I taught HIM?”
At this statement Gabrielle seemed rendered speechless. When she found her voice again, it
squeaked. “Um … ahem. Hmm.
I guess yer right … how COULD I tell?”
“Well, we could run through the motions,” Xena whispered as she leaned
forward, “and I could tell you what was mine, and … what was his.” She brushed her lips against Gabrielle’s and
captured the bard’s lower lip between hers for a moment. The soft inner part of her upper lip moved
against the inner part of Gabrielle’s lower lip.
“Mmm-maybe … we c-could…” The
bard moaned slightly.
“And whose was that?” the warrior purred.
“Ohhh, I-I…”
“That was mine…” she whispered.
“Now, how about … this?” The warrior brought her mouth down on the
bard’s, and rolled her tongue across the inside of the smaller woman’s velvety
soft inner lips, and then darted it deep inside her lover’s mouth to circle the
redhead’s tongue for a moment before pulling back. “Was THAT familiar?”
“Ummm…” the bard moaned.
“That was mine too … and how about this…” whispered the Warrior
Princess, nibbling gently with her lips only on the redhead’s upper and lower
lip.
Gabrielle gasped and moaned again into the warrior’s probing
mouth. She commenced her own lip
movements and gently nibbled Xena’s lower lip with her teeth.
While this was going on, the warrior had somehow opened the bard’s
orange top and was running her strong hands over the twin pink treasures she
found within. Cupping them softly, she
lowered her face to them and swirled her tongue around the stiffened tips for
long moments while Gabrielle arched her back and shrugged moaning out of the
rest of her clothing.
“And, thissss…” the warrior’s breath was coming faster to match her
partners.
Gabrielle shivered and then groaned as Xena dropped her head and began
kissing all over her taut abdomen and stomach.
The bard shivered as her wet nipples tingled pleasurably at meeting the
cool night air. Continuing to cup the
sweet fruits in her fingers, the raven-haired woman lowered a thumb tip to each
nipple and began circling them, as she kissed lower and lower.
As the warrior went about her quest, Gabrielle felt as if balloons of
pleasurable fire were coursing from all over the inside of her body and moving
towards the surface. “Xena,” she cried
out, “oh, don’t stop. Oh yes, yes, my darling,
oh, I … love … youuuuu.” The sweet
torment went on and on and the petite woman seemed to be floating in midair as
she cried Xena’s name over and over until she exploded in an ecstasy of love
and fulfillment.
Afterwards, Xena held her lover securely back against her and stroked
the bard’s damp body until her heartbeat and rapid breathing slowed and she was
calm again. “By the gods, my dear one,”
the warrior whispered. “When you give yourself to me like that, I feel so …
humble; so privileged. Gods how I love
you.”
Gabrielle turned slowly on top of her and lay breast-to-breast and
belly-to-belly, as she looked deep into the warrior’s blue eyes. “Oh, Xena, you make me feel … so … so, very
special.” Tears shone as she brought
her lips down to Xena’s to kiss the raven-haired woman long and gently.
Soon however, the kiss deepened into something more as the redhead
sought to repay the pleasure she had received.
Xena sighed as she felt Gabrielle’s mouth smiling against hers. Ever since the first time they had given
themselves to each other, the bard always smiled in joy when she kissed her
soulmate and the warrior had never ceased to be amazed at how much pleasure she
derived from it. The bard’s hands were not still either as they stroked and caressed
their way down Xena’s arms and up the insides of her thighs. Then Gabrielle began kissing lower and lower
across Xena’s firm belly and heard the usually stolid warrior gasp and cry out
her name.
“Oh … oh, Guh-Gabrielle, I … I love you. I belong to you … take me, oh, TAKE ME! Yes, sweetheart, yes,
yes, yesssss…”
Then the bard felt Xena tangling fingers in her hair as she reached the
honey-sweet core of her lover’s passion and joyfully took her raven-haired
warrior to the twin pinnacles of moaning ecstasy and loving surrender.
* * *
Later, the two lovers lay wrapped around each other in the aftermath of
sweetness as the cool night breeze wafted gently over their tired, damp bodies.
Kissing the warm salt/sweet breasts beside her, Gabrielle laid her head
between them and sighed. “Oh, I love
you so, my warrior.” She draped an
exhausted arm across her lover’s waist and hooked a leg between Xena’s.
Stroking the redhead’s hair, the large woman put an arm around her and
kissed her damp hair. “I love you too,
my little bard of Poteidaia.”
Gabrielle raised her head and looked into the eyes and the face that
she loved. In the dim firelight, Xena’s
blue eyes looked almost black, but her expression was full of love. The bard smiled. “Thank you, sweetheart. I know I’m a naive pain in the butt
sometimes and I don’t deserve you … but I’m so glad you let me stay with you.”
“’LET you stay with me?’” The
warrior’s voice caught with emotion.
“Oh, Gabrielle. Don’t you know I
feel so lucky that you have stuck with me; given yourself to me? That you love me?” She took the bard’s face in her hands and gazed into the green
eyes she adored. “I am so blessed every
time I look at you, simply to know that you followed me to Amphipolis that day
we met.”
“Oh, my dear one…” the bard choked.
“You’re gonna make me c-cry…”
“So cry, Gabrielle.” Xena
smiled through her own tears. “Before
we met, I had known, had made love to many men and a few women in my ugly life
… but I want you to know that there was NO one who ever affected me as you
do. Who believes in me as you do. Who makes me feel safe enough to give myself
fully to. Not one other soul in the
whole world. Don’t you know that?”
“Oh, Xena, my dear warrior, my skilled teacher, my sweet love…”
They hugged each other tightly and kissed with passion as their tears
of joy mingled together and their desires rose once more on the wings of their
love.
* * *
Still later, they lay wrapped in each other’s arms, still naked under
Gabrielle’s blanket, watching the night sky wheel overhead. Nearby the coals of the campfire
flickered. The waning moon was low and
the stars shone bright. Argo stamped
once somewhere nearby and crickets called in the underbrush.
“Xena…”
“Um?”
The bard stifled a yawn. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?”
There was silence.
“Come on,” the small woman nudged.
“A dinar for yer thoughts.”
“I was … thinking about Petracles…” The warrior’s voice was low. “Maybe I … I misjudged him.” Her voice sharpened, “but I doubt it.”
Gabrielle took her hand and kissed it.
“You know, Xena … he kept your betrothal bracelet all those years … he
must have truly felt something for you after all.”
“Maybe…” The raven-haired woman sounded unconvinced. “I thought he did at the time … until he
called it off.”
“But you wanted to marry him, right?”
“Yeah, I guess...”
“You guess,” the bard teased.
“Okay, I did want to marry him,” she grumped. “I was young and stupid
like someone else we know.”
“Ha, ha, very funny!” The bard
sniffed. “Anyway, you remember that
baby we found in the basket, during that whole thing with Pandora? Little Gabriel; he was so cute…”
“Yeah, I guess…” Where is THIS
going, the warrior thought?
The bard’s next statement caught her by surprise. “Did you ever want,
you know, to have … children?”
For a moment Xena seemed to tense up, her face wooden, then she said
carefully, “I used to think I didn’t…”
Gabrielle went on without noticing.
“I always loved babies and children.
Did you know, I took care of Lila when she was a baby … I always thought
having a baby would be so wonderful…”
The Warrior Princess was vehement.
“It isn’t, it hurts like Tartarus!” Then as the bard stared at her, she
coughed and said airily, “uh, er, so
I’ve heard, that is … my, uh, my mother always said it felt like Hades on his
Chariot hauling all Tartarus with him when I came out…”
“Oh.” Gabrielle said thoughtfully. “You know now that I think of it, I
once heard my mom tell my aunt Karmina that compared to Lila, when I came it
was like pulling a peddlers wagon through our back door, horse and all. I never understood that, ‘cause Lila’s the
same size as me. Didja know we can wear
the same clothes? We’ll except for
boots,” she mused. “She wears a size
bigger than me. I got kinda small
feet…”
“Really,” Xena said, glad for the change of subject, “I wouldn’t have
guessed.”
“Yeah, but for babies, ya gotta have a man though. Kinda hard to have a baby without a father
in there somewhere, huh?” The bard sighed. “Guess you and I will never know
that special pleasure. Not the man
part, I’m not too interested in that.
It’s the baby part I mean ... bearing the child, knowing it was growing
inside you all that time … my mom said it creates a special bond between you
and it; a bond that can never be broken.
Oh, Xena, being a mother … it could be so great…”
“Gabrielle,” Xena groaned.
“It’s late. Are you going
somewhere with this?”
“Not really. I guess I was just
thinking that … maybe that was part of the attraction … I mean the interest I
had in Petracles … the baby thing…”
“Oh, sure, THAT makes sense,” Xena snickered. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you’d been nibbling henbane…”
“Well, it’s a part of life we aren’t gonna have.” Gabrielle’s voice was tender. “Raising your own child, teaching her or him
about all the things in life… what to do, what to watch out for, how to act,
how to live, how to read and write…”
“…How to use the pot, where not to throw up, washing diapers…” smirked
the warrior. “Yeah, a loada laughs.”
“Okay, okay,” chuckled the bard, “I’m not saying there isn’t a downside
to child rearing, I’m just saying it’s something we’re not gonna have.” She sobered. “I bet you’d make a wonderful mother, Xena.”
Again a wooden expression came across her face before the warrior
shrugged. “Thanks, for saying so, but the whole ‘having a man thing’ makes it
kinda hard, doesn’t it,” she snorted.
“Anyhow, I don’t really like kids, so it’s a moot point, because we’ll
never know the answer, will we?”
“Guess not,” the bard yawned.
“Sad though, I think a little Xena or Xenon to raise would be wonderful,
because they would remind me of you, my sweet bold love.” She cupped Xena’s cheek and looked deep into
the blue eyes as she kissed her partner gently. “G’night, Xena. I love you.”
“I love you too, my dear one,” whispered the Warrior Princess as
Gabrielle snuggled down against her for sleep.
“Rest well.” Tenderly she pulled
the blanket closer around them, and put a protective arm around the small woman
till she fell asleep.
Resting there comfortably with her lover by her side, Xena lay
sleepless for a while. She was
deliciously tired after their exertions, but her brain wouldn’t seem to shut
off. It seemed there was something yet
that remained to be done, but what? Finally
after some thought, she realized what was nagging at her.
Looking up into the night sky, Xena spoke in her mind. Petracles; the dead can hear our thoughts,
and I know you can hear mine. I’m
sorry; please forgive me. You were a good man and I’m sorry I didn’t trust
you. You didn’t deserve to die that way
and I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I
forgive you for the long ago hurts you did me and I hope you can forgive mine to
you. And … I thank you for giving me
the gift of Gabrielle’s life. Without her,
I don’t even know what I would do.
She sighed, and when Gabrielle stirred fitfully in her sleep for a
moment, she stroked the bard’s hair until her breath evened out again. Then
Xena held her partner and watched the stars until she too finally drifted off
to sleep, and for a time all of her worries and turmoils slipped away for
another night.