Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

 

NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be

republished without the author's consent.

 

DISCLAIMER: I believe that Xena and Gabrielle are the sweetest of lovers and have been almost since they met, so I write them that way.  If you really hate this idea or are under 18, go find some Gen-Fanfic to read, there are plenty of really good ones out there.  The rest of you settle in and (hopefully) enjoy.

 

SPOILERS:  There are many for the season 6 episodes, A Friend in Need 1 and 2.

 

VIOLENCE DISCLAIMER: There are some descriptions of the extreme violence of bloody sword-to-sword combat.  Later in the story, rape is strongly hinted at and threatened, but does NOT take place.

 

SEXUAL DISCLAIMER: Oh yes, there will be some of that. <G>

 

AUTHORS NOTE: This story is the second of my alt-Xena Post FIN stories The Need of a Friend and A Friend Never Departed.  If TNOAF is Part one, and AFND is Part three, this story goes between them and can be considered Part two.  Clear as mud? <G>. Send comments burnt or lightly under-done to:  [email protected]

 

* * *

 

Friends in the Wind 

By WLMcCord, (Bill the Semi Bard) Copyright Jan, 2002

 

Chapter 1

 

Two weeks out from the city of Higuchi in Japa, the wind blew across the deck and bellied out the sails, hurrying the trading junk Sullen Dragon along on the port tack.  The ochre skinned Chin crewmen tended the sails, mended ropes, climbed the rigging and swabbed the decks of the big Chin-junk when they had nothing else to do.  The bustle of human movement swirled around the small blond woman standing poised on the upper deck of the ship’s bow, but did not touch her.  In fact the crew of Chin sailors seemed to avoid coming too close.  It was as if they did not want to enter her space, either through respect, disgust or perhaps even fear.

 

The small woman was dressed much differently from the crew.  This set her apart, let alone the fact that she was athletically muscled, fair-skinned under a tropical tan, had short blond hair, and lovely jade green eyes.  Her clothing consisted of a short reddish skirt, and a halter-top of matching color.  Her trim waist was bare between the top and the skirt, and a silver chain-link belt adorned her womanly hips.  Around her wrists, she wore wide silver bracelets that were more armor than decoration.  Her slim legs were encased in sturdy brown boots.  Attached to each of the boots was a short dagger-like sai; a weapon used for parrying blows.  Hanging at her hip was the deadly glistening hoop of a bejeweled chakram.  On her smooth, beautiful back, the tattoo of the great sacred dragon of Japa wound sinuously beneath the halter-top.  Her muscled calves each had a smaller tattoo of the dragon as well.  As if this wasn’t enough to make her stand out, in two hands she held a great katana above her head and was poised with it ready to strike.

 

Unaware of what a colorful figure she cut, Gabrielle of Poteidaia took a deep breath and let it out slowly through her nose before she began the slow dance of battle with the sword.  She stepped unhurriedly sideways, drawing the sword through the air at the height of a man’s neck.  The blade cleaved the air with a faint whoosh as she turned and spun it slowly in a two-handed vertical circle which would have slowly disemboweled a man had there been one in front of her.  Her green eyes intent, she stepped spinning through the form of the swordplay again and again, faster and faster till the blade was a hissing flash of silver, which could barely be seen.

 

Finally, from a spinning blur of motion almost to fast to follow, she stopped as if suddenly frozen in place and became rigidly still with the sword poised again overhead.  She stayed that way for a long moment, then suddenly returned the blade to the wooden scabbard at her side and bowed her head.

 

After a moment she heard the sound of a single pair of hands clapping.  “Hot damn, Gabrielle,” said a voice.  “That was great.  You really have the hang of the katana now.”

 

Nose crinkling with pleasure, the bard raised her face and smiled at the leather-clad woman warrior who was slowly shimmering into view in front of her.  “Xena,” she grinned stepping forward.  “You really mean it?”

 

“Would I lie to you, my love?”  The raven-haired ghost smiled.  “You’re really gettin’ good these last few weeks.  Trust me, I know true skill when I see it.”

 

The bard stepped forward and went to put her arms around the ghost, then squealed and jumped back as they passed through her friend like so much smoke.  “Eee-yipes!”  She cried shaking her arms.  “Damn, you’re cold when yer in Partial Fade.”

 

“Well, why in Tartarus didja try to grab me?”  The ghost said uncomfortably.  “Not that I wouldn’t love a hug, but ya know we can’t touch and I only freeze you when I’m like this.”

 

“I forgot,” Gabrielle muttered.  “I just saw you and wanted to hold you, that’s all.”

 

“I’m sorry honey,” Xena sighed.  “You know no one but you can see me when I’m like this and I shouldn’t appear solid on deck in the daylight.”  Then she looked sharply behind the petite woman and said, “The crew are beginning to think yer crazy already.”

 

The bard glanced around and saw several Chin crewmen on the deck below, looking up at her with staring eyes.  As she looked at them, they grimaced and turned back to their work, darting glances at her and whispering.

 

“Aw, crap,” she groaned. 

 

“How bout we go down to the cabin,” whispered the warrior.  “I could be solid there and we could cuddle a bit … maybe even do a little more…”

 

“Mmmm, guess it couldn’t hurt,” Gabrielle grinned, her nose wrinkling.  “Com’mon, Warrior Princess.  Wanna see my etchings?”

 

“Nope, but you DO have some things I want to see,” grinned the ghost. “Oh, yeah.”

 

As the two women went towards the cabin in the stern of the junk, they passed by Chin crewmen on the deck and the men all gave them a wide berth, or at least the one they could see.  Glancing at the muttering sailors, the warrior ghost said, “It’s gettin’ worse, Gabrielle.  A week and a half ago, most of them paid no attention to you.  Now they’re all avoiding you.”

 

“Yeah,” murmured the bard sourly without moving her lips.  “And if a certain ghost hadn’t insisted on practicing becoming solid at odd times during that first week, maybe they still wouldn’t.”

 

“Well, who was it wanted to walk naked hand-in-hand in the moonlight and hug and kiss up on the bow?”  Xena snickered.

 

“All right, all right,” grunted the small woman, coloring slightly.  “That was a mistake; I admit it, and I shouldn’t have stripped.  But it was so warm out and it felt so good.  How did I know those sailors were gonna be sleeping up on the bow deck ‘cause it was too hot below?”

 

“Well, if they didn’t think you were haunted before, they did after that,” grinned the warrior.  “Uh, oh!  Here comes captain ‘Huge-Wang’.”   She snickered.  “Better stop talking so much.  He can see your lips movin’…”

 

The bard giggled and pretended to cough, covering her mouth with a hand.  She spoke behind it.  “Dammit, Xena!  You know his name is Huezwang, not ‘Huge-Wang’!  And if you wouldn’t keep talkin’ to me where people can see us and expecting me answer you…” She nodded politely as they approached the captain of the Sullen Dragon.  He was a huge bear of a man, dressed in a long blue garment trimmed with red flowers around the flowing sleeves and open neck.  He had a large belly pulled in by a red sash, big hands and a long, straight beard and mustaches.  Through the sash was stuck a large scimitar type blade and a blue cylindrical hat trimmed with black fur covered his head.  He was looking at a map with his first mate, a dour, skinny man called, Li-Yuan.

 

“Good afternoon, captain,” Gabrielle said with a slight bow.  “The weather is good for sailing, isn’t it?”

 

He looked her up and down.  “Is … good, yes.”  He finally said.  Haltingly, since he spoke her language poorly, he went on, pointing at the katana. “You … practice, you?”

 

“Yes,” Gabrielle said. “I practice to become better with the sword.”

 

“Yeah, and she’s damn good already, too!” Xena said proudly.

 

“Xena,” Gabrielle hissed under her breath in irritation.  “Hush up.”

 

“Why?  They can’t hear me.”

 

“Xenaaaa…” the bard said between clenched teeth.

 

The big captain noticed her muttering, and said something in a flowery Chin dialect to Li-Yuan, who laughed shortly.  He turned back to her.  “Why is?”  He said pointing at the katana again.

 

“’Why is’, what?”  The blond wasn’t certain what he meant.

 

His words were labored, but his meaning was plain enough.  “You … woman.  Why is you … use … sword?”

 

Gabrielle felt her cheeks getting hot.  “I am a warrior,” she said stiffly.

 

He looked her up and down again.  “Woman and … warrior?” He said smugly.  “One cannot be … both.” 

 

“Why, you big donkey-headed jerk,” snarled the warrior ghost reaching towards his waist.  “I’m gonna freeze yer tiny nuts off…”

 

“Xena!  Stoppit!  They’re just words!”  The worried bard jumped in front of the captain and held her hands out to stop the angry warrior ghost.  “Leave him be. He just doesn’t know any better!”  She turned at a tap on her shoulder and saw the captain and the mate staring at her and swallowed, trying to smile.

 

Captain Huezwang frowned and shook his head, spinning a thick index finger around outside his ear.  “You … crazy woman.”  He shook his head again, and said.  “No bother … crew, or ... lock you up, yes?”  He turned his back to her and went towards the helm shaking his head some more.  Li-Yuan followed him, never taking his eyes off the bard.

 

Gabrielle sighed.  “That went well, oh, yeah.  Like a ton of centaur droppings.”

 

“Sorry, honey,” said the repentant warrior ghost.  “He got me mad being so snide about you being a warrior.  You have become one of the best I have ever seen.”

 

“Thank you,” the bard blushed, lowering her eyes.  Then she straightened up with a grin.  “Anyway, never mind old ‘Big Wang’.  He and everybody else already thought I was weird.  Now they just think I’m crazy as well.  Let’s get to the cabin.  At least we can have some peace there.”

 

“I’m with you, sweetheart,” whispered the warrior, tickling the bard’s bare back lightly with her cold fingers.  The petite woman squealed with laughter at the icy sensation and took off running for the cabin with Xena hot on her trail.  In a rush to get there without any more icy warrior-fingers on her spine, Gabrielle hurried down the companionway to her below-decks cabin, opened the door and darted inside.  As she slammed the door behind her, there was a sudden thump and a muffled grunt outside.

 

“Xena?”  The bard looked back at the door.  “Where are you?”

 

She jumped back in surprise as a peeved Warrior Princess suddenly passed through the surface of the door in front of her, holding her nose.

 

“What happened?”  The blond was bewildered.

 

“Oh, nothing much,” Xena muttered, looking disgusted.  “I wanted to surprise you by reaching around and tweaking your breasts while you were opening the door, so to be ready, I went from Partial Fade into Solid when we came down the companionway.  That slowed me up a bit, and you got ahead.  I was running up behind, when you went inside and slammed the door so fast that I ran into it.”

 

“Xena, I’m so sorry!  I figured you’d just pass through.  I didn’t think you’d be Solid.” The bard was contrite as she bolted the door.  “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine.  Nothing hurt but my pride.”

 

Gabrielle was confused.  “If it doesn’t hurt, why are you holding your nose?”

 

Xena snatched her hand away, looking sheepish.  “Habit, I guess,” she assured the bard. “It hurt like Hades for a second before I Faded, but when I’m in this state I don’t really feel anything at all, and it went away.”  She closed her eyes and concentrated and suddenly became solid again.  She reached forward and stroked Gabrielle’s cheek.  “Just don’t do it again while I’m Solid, like now.  Deal?”

 

“You’ve got it, Warrior Princess.”  Grinned the bard.  “How about one of those yummy kisses that yer gettin’ so good at, to seal the deal?”

 

“Your wish is definitely my command, sweetheart…” Smiled the warrior ghost, hugging her soulmate and bringing her face forward.

 

They kissed for long moments and Gabrielle found herself sinking into the warm haze of joyful pleasure that she usually experienced when kissing her lover.  She felt the sensations sweeping over her and shuddered.

 

“Ohhh, gods,” she moaned.  “That feels so good, honey … YOU feel so good.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” whispered the warrior nuzzling her neck and kissing the hollow of her throat.  “You do too…”

 

Gabrielle nibbled Xena’s ear.  “Do you think you can stay, um, Solid for … for awhile?” She said in a pleading tone.

 

“I can sure try, my dear one…” The warrior grinned, then frowned.  “But, are you certain we should try this, Gabrielle?  You know I haven’t been able to maintain Solidness long enough to … to, you know, get you there yet…”

 

“I’ll take the chance if you will,” whispered the bard, kissing her neck.  “I have faith in you, sweetheart.”

 

Xena smiled.  “Thank you my dear one,” she said, squeezing the bard and kissing her mouth softly for a moment.  Then she winced.  “Is that the hilt of your katana, or are you just happy to see me?”

 

“Oops,” said the bard.  “Lemme get this stuff off, honey.  Just a second.”  She stepped into the corner away from the warrior ghost and began removing the weapons.

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Xena watched for a moment, then glanced around the small and crowded cabin.  The small oil lantern hanging on gimbals from the ceiling swung back and forth and the light cast giant shadows around the small space with the roll of the ship.  Here along with some barrels and crates of merchandise stored for the voyage, were the few items Gabrielle had brought on board with her from Japa.  Her bedroll, her scroll bag, some supplies of food, her saddle and gear from her dead horse, and … Xena’s round black funeral urn.

 

“Ugh!” She said.  “Gabrielle, why don’t you toss that damn thing overboard?”

 

The bard was placing the chakram, katana and sai’s in the corner with her equipment.  “Huh?  Toss what overboard?”

 

“That dammed funeral urn.  Whatta we need it for now, huh?”  Xena grimaced.  “It’s not like pouring my ashes into the Spirit Pool will bring me back anymore.”

 

“Oh, I guess you may be right.”  The bard shivered slightly.  The sight of the urn made her feel cold inside.  It was a constant reminder that Xena was not really alive, even though Gabrielle saw and spoke to her every day.  “I-I just thought I might take it back to your family crypt in Amphipolis sometime, to be with your mother and Lyceus, that’s all.”

 

“Whatever,” said the warrior.  “At least put it outa sight, willya?  It gives me the creeps knowin’ I’m standing here beside you and sittin’ in there at the same time.”

 

“Sure,” the petite woman shoved the urn into her scroll bag and turned back to her warrior and struck a saucy poise.  “So, how’re we gonna do this, oh, warrior-mine?”

 

Xena looked around again.  “Well, that splintery deck doesn’t look very inviting.  Looks like it’s gonna have to be your favorite ‘bed’.”  She grinned, pointing at the rope-mesh hammock suspended from the ceiling of the cabin, as it swung back and forth with the motion of the ship.

 

Gabrielle groaned aloud.  “That god’s-be-dammed cats-cradle,” she sighed. “What in Tartarus would be so wrong with having an honest to gods bunk bed on this ship?” 

 

Xena laughed.  In the two weeks she had been inboard the Sullen Dragon, Gabrielle had still had not fully mastered getting in and out of the rope-mesh hammock.  It was suspended about four feet off the deck and attached at each end to the ceiling beam above it.  Normally you were either in it lying down or out of it on the deck.  There seemed to be no middle ground.  You got into it (supposedly) by hanging onto the beam above and swinging yourself from the floor and hoping you dropped in while the contraption was still under you.  You got out in roughly the same way, but neither one was an easy task even if the ship wasn’t rolling or pitching about.

 

“Oh, Zeus,” groaned the bard, looking exasperated.  “I hate this thing.  It’s so hard to get into.”

 

“Well, my love.  At least I can help you with that,” Xena laughed.  “Come here, dear one.”  Gabrielle came over, and the solid warrior ghost picked her up bodily and kissed her deeply.  The small bard sighed into her lover’s mouth as Xena deposited her lying down in the meshes of the hammock.  “See,” the ghost smiled leaning over and kissing her nose.  “That wasn’t so hard.”

 

“Too bad you don’t tuck me in every night this way,” pouted the bard.  “And this thing is no picnic to get OUT of in a hurry, either…”

 

“No hurry, my dear one,” whispered the raven-haired ghost, kissing Gabrielle’s eyes gently, before trailing her lips over her cheek, down her neck, and across her chest to where the red top covered her breasts.  Once there she laved her tongue over the tops of them.

 

The petite blond groaned.  “Oh, sweetheart.  It’s been so long … that feels so nice…”

 

“Yum, you taste good too.  Let’s get you out of these clothes,” Xena smiled.  “Just so as not to waste any more time…” She reached for Gabrielle’s red top, but before she could touch it, the blond sat up.

 

“You mean like this?” Grinning, the bard slid the red top over her head in a swift motion that caused her breasts to bounce enticingly and tossed it to the floor.  Then she lay back bare-chested on the hammock in front of her lover.  The lantern painted her delicate skin a warm and glowing pinkish-yellow in its light.

 

“Oooo, honey…” Xena swallowed.  “You are soooo beautiful.”  Then she closed her eyes momentarily and a look of concentration came over her face.  Suddenly, she vanished, then reappeared in an instant, willowy naked.  Her armor and boots were gone as if they had never existed.

 

Gabrielle gasped at the glorious sight of her nude partner and felt her chest tighten with need.  “Oh, what a neat trick!” She groaned.  “Every time I see you do that, I wish I could make my clothes just vanish anytime for you.”  Lying back languidly, she cupped her bare breasts and held them upward to the warrior.  “Guess you’ll just have to be satisfied with these.”  Her green eyes sparkled with love and excitement.

 

“Satisfied, oh, gods, yes!” Sighed the warrior, pulling off the bard’s boots.  She then bent over and kissed the twin pink offerings, while sliding the bard’s skirt down her hips and off of her legs and tossing it aside.  Now naked in the rope hammock, with her arms above her head tangled in the rope mesh, Gabrielle closed her eyes and arched her back into the mouth that was kissing and tasting her breasts and taut nipples.

 

Suddenly, Gabrielle felt a rush of cold, then warmth, then cold, then warmth again against her breasts and gasped with the strange sensations. Her eyes flew open and she saw that Xena was flickering in and out rapidly in split seconds with her hands and lips on the bard’s breasts.  The warrior went from Solidness to Partial Fade to Solidness in a blur of motion and the petite blond groaned.  “H-Honey!  Xena!  Y-You’re fluctuating again!”

 

“Oh, dammit,” groaned the warrior ghost.  She raised her head and closed her eyes for a moment.  When she opened them again, she had stopped flickering and was solid once again.  “I’m sorry dear one, I’m having trouble, um, concentrating,” she rolled her blue eyes. “Couldn’t be ‘cause of you, only the god’s know…”

 

“Whoo, that was really weird,” Gabrielle shivered, crossing her arms over her breasts to warm them. “I’ve got duckbumps on my chest now...”

 

“You certainly have,” swallowed the warrior licking dry lips.  “Especially these two nice big pink ones here on the tip of each one…” She lowered her mouth to one of the bard’s nipples, closed her eyes … and began flickering from Solid to Fade again.

 

“Yeeps!”  The bard squealed at the icy-cold sensations on her delicate spots.

 

Becoming Solid again, Xena drew back and her voice was miserable.  “M-Maybe we should stop.  I don’t think I can do this…”

 

“Oh no, please, Xena,” whispered the bard, taking the big woman’s hand and kissing her fingers.  “It’s been so long.  Let’s try some more … I know you can do it, honey.” 

 

“Well,” the warrior ghost wanted to be obliging.  “Standing on the deck bending over you, kinda makes me work harder to stay solid.  Maybe if I was sitting instead …  ya think I could get into this thing with you?”

 

“Mmmm. That could be … fun,” purred the bard.

 

Xena chuckled.  “Here, see if you can sit up long ways so that I can join you…”

 

Gabrielle found that trying to sit up in the rope hammock by herself was not easy.  Finally with Xena’s help from outside, the bard managed to get one bare leg hanging off each side of the hammock and sit more or less normally with one cheek each in a hole in the rope-mesh.  But when Xena tried to get onto the hammock too, it proved to be an almost impossible task.  There was much flickering of the warrior ghost and teeth chattering squeals from the bard with no results.  Finally, after nearly spilling Gabrielle off onto the deck more than once and freezing her many times, Xena quit trying.

 

“I … I can’t do this, Gabrielle.”  The ghost said miserably.  “I just can’t concentrate when we get going hot and heavy…”

 

The naked bard was shivering in the hammock, hugging herself to keep warm.  Her hand that touched the ghost’s now Solid cheek was shaking a bit.  “H-Honey, I know y-you can do it,” she stuttered through lips numb with cold.  “I-It’s j-just gonna take p-p-practice…”

 

“Oh, to Tartarus with it,” Xena cursed.  “We’re just kidding ourselves, Gabrielle.  Ghosts weren’t meant to be able to touch the living like they could in life.  It’s amazing that you and I can cuddle and kiss when you think about it.  That takes about all the concentration I can muster and I just can’t stay solid for much more action than that.”  A sob shook her.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered brokenly.  “I gotta get outa here … seeing you like this and knowing I can’t touch you is driving me crazy.”  She suddenly Faded away leaving the bard alone.

 

“Xena?” Gabrielle started to speak.  “Please my love, don’t leave…” but the ghost was gone and the bard stared at the spot where she had been.  Then she covered her face with her hands and sobbed silently.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Somewhat later, fully dressed again, Gabrielle stared out at the waves over the railing of the Sullen Dragon and her expression was brooding.  Gods, she thought.  I was so happy a couple of weeks ago when Xena and I came down from Mount Fujisaka.  Now look at me.  On my way to new adventures, my soulmate by my side, and all I can think of is how sad I am.  Is it just because we can’t make love?  Am I so shallow that I all I can think about is sex with my partner?   Her vision blurred with tears for a moment, and she angrily blinked them away.  No.  That can’t be all it is.  It’s just that everything is so different now.  We’re together just like always, but we can’t BE together.  Oh, Hades.  I never thought it would be like this.

 

The familiar voice spoke low behind her.  “A Dinar for yer thoughts…”

 

She didn’t look around, but a tear suddenly ran down her cheek.  “Xena…” she whispered.

 

“Oh, my dear one.”  The warrior’s voice was contrite.  “I’m sorry about leaving before.  I just got so … so frustrated.”

 

“I know, my love,” the bard said.  “It-It’s all right…”

 

The Warrior Princess came up to the rail of the junk and looked at her soulmates face.  As usual, she was in Partial Fade so as not to be seen by the crew. “Gabrielle, yer crying.  You don’t cry for nothing.  Talk to me…” She reached as if to touch the tear, but her fingers passed through the petite woman’s cheek.

 

Gabrielle shuddered as they did so.  “That’s cold,” she gritted, trying not to jump too obviously.

 

 Xena withdrew her hand hastily.  “Sorry,” she gulped.  “Didn’t mean to freeze you.”

 

“Now those teeth feel like I had a chunk of ice against them,” the bard grunted, feeling the flesh of her cool cheek.

 

“I really AM sorry,” Xena said contritely.  “I keep forgetting I’m not solid when I’m talking to you in Partial Fade.  Its not like when I’m in Full Fade and you can’t see me at all.” 

 

“S’all right,” the petite woman sighed.  “It feels okay again.  I just wish you could be Solid for a minute.  I really need a hug right now.”

 

Her raven-haired friend glanced around at the busy crew, as if to assure herself that she was still Faded.  “I can if I concentrate, you know that.  But I couldn’t be in Solid right now anyway, or they would see me.”  She attempted humor.  “I doubt they would be too happy, since you only paid passage for you and my damn funeral urn.”

 

“Oh, honey…” gulped the bard as another tear slid down her cheek.  “That’s not even funny...” She hung her head and stared into the sea while more stinging tears ran down her face to join the salty water rushing by below.

 

Xena made as if to stoke her hair, then grimaced and stopped.  “Gabrielle…” her voice was miserable.

 

The bard wiped her eyes angrily and looked at her soulmate.  “Oh, Xena.  I’m sorry.  Once you came back to me on Mount Fujisaka that next morning, I was SO happy!  There you were again.  We could touch and I … I just thought it would be different than it has been.  I knew you were a ghost, but since you could be Solid, I thought, ‘Hey, it’ll be the same as always.  We could talk, practice fight, cuddle, kiss, even … m-make love…’” her voice broke. 

 

“Honey,” the warrior ghost swallowed.  “I wanted you so much back in the cabin I couldn’t stand it, you know that.”  She grew determined.  “We can keep trying.  I will master this, I promise you.”

 

“It’s not only that we c-can’t even make love in our cabin,” the bard went on, her voice unhappy.  “It’s all this secrecy.  We can’t talk, we can’t practice with swords; all we can do is hide in our cabin when we want to be together or sneak out at night like criminals … and we … we can’t even be together.”

 

“Speaking of secrecy,” Xena whispered, hooking a thumb at several crewmembers nearby, “They’re watching you talk to yourself again…”

 

In irritation Gabrielle looked in that direction and caught the sailors making the sign of the horns to ward off evil.  She glared at them, and they recoiled and went hastily about swabbing the deck and talking in low tones.  “Next time I catch ‘em doin’ that, I’ll give ‘em a sign all right,” she muttered, “with my finger!”  She looked angry.  “Anyway, why are you whispering?  You know I’m the only one who can hear you!”

 

“I told you, I keep forgetting,” the warrior said in a normal voice again.  “But look, Gabrielle, they think your rice isn’t cooked now,” Xena was earnest.  “They’re afraid, they think you’re haunted, and there are a lot of them.  Don’t provoke them…”

 

“Look who’s talking,” whispered the bard, furiously.  Anger was swiftly building in her and she didn’t know why.  “They wouldn’t have known I was haunted if you hadn’t kept becoming Solid in front of guys on the night watch for the first week!  They wouldn’t even have known you were around!  And why didja have to kick that one guy in the jewels?”

 

“Hey!  I needed Solidifying practice, and when I appeared to that guy, he musta been drunk or something.  Instead of running away like the others always did, he reached out and honked my boobs,” snapped the warrior. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing in my place…”

 

“I’m not IN your place, dammit!”  Shrilled the bard as her building anger suddenly exploded out of her.  “You fixed that up just FINE when you wouldn’t let me die WITH you … or bring you BACK either!”  She panted after her outburst, surprised at how furious she had been.  Where did that come from, she thought uneasily.

 

The warrior stared at her friend, and her expression seemed to crumble.  “Oh, Gabrielle…” she whispered in broken tones.  “I’m so sorry…” She began to Fade out of sight.

 

The petite woman’s green eyes filled with tears and she swallowed.  “X-Xena … I-I had no business saying that.  Please, don’t go into Full Fade; I need to see you … we’ve gotta talk about this…”

 

The warrior’s sad voice seemed to surround her as she Faded away completely.  “I-I think we n-need some time apart … I’ll come back later…”

 

“’We need some time apart?’”  Cried the bard unbelievingly through her tears.  “All we HAVE is time apart!  Come back here and finish this fight like a-a … ghost…” her voice tapered off to a miserable whisper.  Xena did not reappear.  Looking around tearfully, the bard suddenly realized that a number of crewmen were watching her with fear, and she cursed to herself and headed down to her lonely cabin.

 

Once inside, Gabrielle bolted the door.  Then with a sigh she turned to the rope-mesh hammock that served as sleeping arrangements on the Sullen Dragon and groaned aloud. 

Sighing again, Gabrielle looked about the room for another option, but as usual found none.  There was nothing for it but to get into the hammock, or sit on the hard cabin deck.  Finally, with a grunt, the small woman grasped the beam, and hopped up while pulling with her arms and kicked her legs into the thing.  Still hanging onto the beam, she carefully wiggled her hips into the hammock until they felt secure, and then taking a deep breath let go attempting to lay down.  For a wonder she made it without falling out of the thing and breaking her neck on the deck below.  She sighed with relief and tried to rest, but the lantern light was shining full into her eyes and she closed them as the motion of the ship caused the hammock to swing back and forth.  That was almost worse however, as she swallowed and cursed.  Gabrielle hated riding on ships for the most part.  Even skilled as she was, she had never quite gotten over the sickness that made her so miserable every time she ventured on the sea.  It had to be fairly rough nowadays to bother her, but she could and still did feel the affects. 

 

You can take the bard out of Poteidaia, but you can’t take Poteidaia out of the bard, she thought miserably as the hammock swung to and fro and the light flashed in her eyes.  The biggest body of water around Poteidaia was Minnow Lake and I never got seasick going out on a boat there.  Perdicus and I did it plenty of times when we were kids.  Of course it was only about half a mile across, and practically dried up in summer.  The bard suddenly gulped as the hammock wrenched back and forth and her gorge threatened to rise.  Ooooo.  Damn.  It’s getting rougher; we must be on the other tack now. 

 

Gabrielle groaned as her stomach roiled, and dutifully applied pressure on the nerve points in her wrists like Xena had shown her so long ago.  Within moments, the feelings of nausea began to recede into the background.  They were still there, lurking behind everything, but she no longer felt ready to lose her breakfast with every motion of the ship.  She closed her eyes and sighed as the hammock swung.  Gods, I hope they don’t have sushi for dinner tonight, she thought sardonically.  If they do, knowing how using this skill affects my appetite, I’ll be squid-mouth-girl again.  At the thought, she gagged slightly and swallowed. 

 

Resolutely taking her mind from the remembrance of chomping raw squid, the bard sighed.  Speaking of eating, she thought wryly, the best time to eat crow is while it’s still warm, and I owe Xena a big apology.  What I said on deck was really mean, and it’s not even my time of month.  She shook her head.  We need to talk and I’ve gotta tell her how sorry I am.

 

The swinging lantern glared in her eyes as Gabrielle spoke aloud to the air.  “Xena, where are you?  We need to talk.  Please, come back, my love.  I’m sorry.”

 

There was no answer and the petite woman tried again. “Xena, please.  I know you can hear me.”  She waited for an answer, but there was none.  She began to get worried.  Where is she?  She has always come by now when I’ve called her.

 

“Xena.  Oh, Xena, come back!  Please, my love!  PLEASE!”  She stared around the cabin hopefully, but there came no sign of the warrior’s ghost.  Silent tears running down her face, the bard stifled a sob.  “XENA!”  Oh, by the gods, she thought desolately.  I must have really hurt her feelings.  ‘Brielle you stupid STUPID idiot!  She’s the one who’s dead!  You are still alive!  Why can’t you control your damn BIG mouth?  The swinging oil light glared at her, and she miserably covered her eyes with her arm and tried to rest with the pitching of the ship.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Chapter 3

 

The wind whistled through the rigging and sails of the Chin-junk, and it sounded like the faint cries of damned souls sobbing over their lost lives.  The sound fit Xena’s mood perfectly.  In Full Fade, the warrior ghost sat cross-legged on the very top of the swaying mainmast of the Sullen Dragon, and added her sobbing noises to those of wind and rigging.  The sharp breeze whistled all around her, but her hair didn’t even move; it was as if there was a circle of stillness around her, which the wind could not penetrate.  The rise and fall of the mast moving with her on it, made no difference either.  She stuck on it like she was glued down and her body or limbs did not move as the mast swayed back and forth with the ship’s motion. 

 

Tears streamed down her face, but she couldn’t feel them either as she wailed.  No one but another ghost could have heard or seen her in this state; not even her soulmate.  Normal people might have felt a vague unease, but the heart-broken sounds she was making were too far above the human hearing spectrum for them to notice.  Animals, with their more acute senses could sometimes sense ghosts dimly even in Full Fade, but no human could.  She was alone with her misery, and that was just how she wanted it. 

 

Wretchedly, she cursed herself yet again for her hasty reaction in Japa.  After Ghost Killer had told her that the only way to kill the demon lord Yudoshi was to become a spirit and fight him on even terms in his dark realm, she had committed herself to die.

 

From that point on, the Warrior Princess had been focused on one thing only.  Going out in a blaze of glorious combat against his earthly legion, so that she could get to the lord of the Dark Lands.  Like she had so many times before, Xena hadn’t told Gabrielle her plans, she just went on and did it her own way.  In case she didn’t manage to defeat Yudoshi and was instead destroyed by him, she reasoned, there was no use getting her best friend involved in this harebrained scheme.

 

But she was involved you fool!  Xena bludgeoned herself for the umpteenth time.  Gabrielle is your best friend, your lover, the other half of your soul!  How could she NOT be involved in anything that might cause your death?  You dying, especially without including her in the plan, was a tremendous slap at her ego.  At her LOVE for you!!

 

A sob seemed to fill her, and she wailed again into the wind, and the ghostly vibrations sang around her. 

 

“But I couldn’t stand to watch you die, Gabrielle!” she shrieked.  “To see your beautiful body torn by arrows and sword hits.  To hear you scream with each blow that stuck home.  To see your head chopped off, your body mutilated.  I COULDN’T face it!” 

 

Oh, but it was all right to make her face seeing your headless hanging body pierced by a dozen wounds, drained white by blood loss and covered with flies and blood.  She wailed in anguish again.  All right to make her have to see your severed head with the grimace of death still fresh on your face.  To have to burn your body to ashes and scrape you into that damn funeral urn.

 

Damn you, Xena, she thought bleakly.  You gave her no choice but to have to see all those things, and then expected her to just understand.  How many times have you done this kind of thing to her?  Just gone ahead with your plans and told her to like it or lump it.  Like you did with Caesar and Dahak in Britannia?  Or going to Chin to kill Ming-Tien?  Setting up Crassus and making Gabrielle choose whether he lived or died?  Going to Rome to kill Caesar and getting her caught and taken to be crucified?  Running off after Grendal and fighting Odin?  Going to Japa kill Yudoshi by dying?  Gods know HOW many times you have hurt her!  And then; THEN!  As if that wasn’t enough, you stay dead when you could have let her bring you back! 

 

The warrior ghost screamed into the wind.  You cruel bitch!  You damn, stubborn, heartless and uncaring pimple on a mule’s ass!  You don’t deserve a friend and lover like her.  And now Gabrielle’s doing the best that she can (as she always does) under trying circumstances (which you caused), and you even give her a hard time over that.  You don’t EVEN deserve her.   All you ever do is hurt her.  What in Tartarus is WRONG with you?

 

She howled her rage and sadness wordlessly to the sky. 

 

Faintly then, over the noise of wind and sea, the warrior heard a voice.  “Xena, where are you?  We need to talk.  Please, come back, my love.  I’m sorry.”  It was the bard and her voice was strained.

 

She’s SORRY?  Holy Zeus!  She’s taking the blame even now, and she still wants to patch it up.  Make it all okay again.  Oh, Hades.  Just leave her alone from now on.  She’ll get over it.  Stay away from her.  Leave the poor, suffering woman alone.  You’ve done enough to her. 

 

Gabrielle’s voice came again.  “Xena, please!  I know you can hear me.”

 

Xena stared bleakly out over the blue-green horizon of water and tears filled her eyes, but she didn’t move from her spot on the mast-top.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Gabrielle awoke in pitch darkness.  The oil in the lantern must be gone, she thought with disgust, and remembered that she had forgotten to fill it that morning.  Still, there should have been plenty, she thought, but then realized that several hours must have passed.  The motion of the hammock with the ship had lessened considerably and she no longer felt the roiling in her stomach, even though the effects of using the pressure points in her wrists should have long since worn off.

 

She swung back and forth in the hammock with the roll of the ship.  She held a hand in front of her eyes and found she couldn’t see it.  Even though she knew that the deck was only four feet below, it felt like she was suspended over an unimaginable bottomless pit. She was reminded unpleasantly of her helpless suspension over the altar pit in Dahak’s Temple years ago, and shuddered at the remembrance of her fear.  She pushed the horrid images firmly out of her mind.  You’re not going there, ‘Brielle, she thought grimly.  Forget it!  That’s all in the past.  That was then, this is now.  She took a deep breath, and used the Yogic techniques she had learned in India to calm her mind.  Soon she felt better, but the predicament of her position was still there. 

 

Gods, now what, she thought.  How in Tartarus do I get outa this thing without breaking my fool neck?  She cleared her throat and spoke.  “Xena?  Would you come here, please?  I need a little help.”  She knew that as a ghost, her lover could see in the dark and could aid her out of the clutches of the hammock-beast.  She waited for a few seconds, but there was no answer.

 

“Xena?”  Where was she?  She was used to the ghost appearing within seconds of her call and felt a slight irritation.  “Come on, honey, don’t fool around.  I need some help here…”

 

There was still no answer, and Gabrielle suddenly recalled that her lover had left during their earlier fight.  Holy Zeus!  Can she still be angry?  That’s not like her.  “Xena?”  She called again, then louder, her voice cracking with worry, “XENA!! Where are you?  XENAAA?”

 

There was a sudden knocking on her cabin door, and a male voice with the accents of Chin spoke.  “You yelling, lady?  You all right?”

 

“I, um, yes, I’m all right…” she called, feeling anything but.  “I had a, um, nightmare…”

 

The voice came back, confused.  “You have what?  A horse?  What you say?”

 

“Dream!”  She shouted.  “I had a-a BAD dream!  I’m all right!”

 

“Dream?” He still sounded confused, then went on.  “Dinner soon, you want.”

 

Numbly, she called, “Thank you,” and heard his footsteps leave quickly.  When it was quiet again, she spoke in the darkness, calling Xena’s name in low tones.  She knew her friend’s ghost could hear her, even whispering.  But there was no answer and she became convinced that there would be none.  Her eyes stung with tears.  “Xena,” she whimpered in heartbroken tones.  “Oh, Xena… you said … you said you’d always be beside me…” She lay back on the hammock in the darkness and sobbed.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

“Xena.  Oh, Xena, come back!  Please, my love!  PLEASE!”   Still sitting in the wind on top of the Sullen Dragon’s main mast, Xena sighed.  To her ears the bard’s voice was pleading. 

 

Gods’dammit, Gabrielle!  She thought dully.  Yer gonna make this harder than it already is, aren’t you?  Haven’t we caused one another enough pain?  Why don’t you just let me go?  I’m dead.  Once you know it for certain, you can move on and quit torturing yourself.  And … And maybe I can too.

 

“XENA!”  Gabrielle’s faint voice called once more and ended in a sob.

 

“SHUT UP!”  Screamed the warrior into the wind.  “Get over me!  I’m DEAD!  Deal with it!  Let me rest in peace!”  She willed herself not to hear the bard’s painful words anymore, to hear nothing but the wind wailing in the rigging of the junk.  She listened to the whistling breezes and felt a kind grayness seem to creep over her.  It was calming and seemed to steal her thoughts, take her pain and let her finally be at peace with herself.  Yes!  She realized that she wanted to be one with the grayness, both inside and out; hearing, seeing, feeling nothing but the wind and the nothingness within her.  She thought she saw a kind of a whirling golden circle in the grayness and felt as if she were being drawn to it.  The non-feelings increased and seemed to fill her.  Deeper and deeper she went into the non-feelings and nothingness, embracing them like a lover till she could almost feel herself float.  Then there was…

Nothingness. 

Nothing to think. 

Nothing to do. 

Nowhere to go.

No one to see.

Nothing to say.

It was so … peaceful.  So … calm. 

She floated there, thinking little, feeling less.

The winds blew and the grayness was unchanging, and…

It…

Was…

Quiet…

And…

She…

Embraced…

It…

……

………

…………

……………

 

Suddenly, she heard a voice in her mind.  “Xena!”

 

Aw, shit.  She sighed within the wind and grayness.  She’s found me.  How does she do that?  “Go away,” she groaned.  “Just go away.”

 

“Xena!”  The inner voice was agitated when it came again.  “What are you doing here?”

 

The warrior ghost became aware of a swirling white something in the grayness in front of her eyes.  “Gabrielle?”  She whispered.

 

“No, not Gabrielle, Xena!  It’s me,” the swirling whiteness spoke within her.  “It’s Akemi.  Do you not recognize me, my dear teacher?”

 

“A-Akemi?”  The warrior’s answering thought was uncaring.  “Go away … I killed you.  Then I set you free from Yudoshi.  Leave me alone.”

 

The whiteness spun and whirled as if in agitation.  “Xena why are you here?  Why are you not with your soulmate?”

 

“Who?”  Xena’s mind seemed to be having trouble recalling things.  Oh well, what did it matter?  She had the wind and the grayness.  What more did she need?  “Go … away…” she repeated listlessly.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

The cabin oil lamp flared as Gabrielle lit it with a candle.  Her face was grim and her green eyes were frozen.  While still in the hammock, she had called for Xena over and over with no answer.  She had cajoled, begged, and pleaded to no affect.  She had sobbed, cursed and shouted, but the warrior ghost had not come.  Finally, when she had at last accepted that her ghostly friend was NOT going to come, she had gone quiet and lay there for long minutes, her mind spinning with a mixture of burning anger and sadness.  Her mind seemed to be blank; her body was running things without the volition of any conscious thought.  At last, when the call of nature had awakened, she had managed to get out of the swinging contraption in the pitch dark with little more than a stubbed toe to show for her troubles.  She had fumbled her way to the waste bucket in the corner without much trouble, and thankfully relieved herself. 

 

Afterward, she had gone out and gotten a lit candle from a crewmember, and returned to her cabin to fill the oil lantern and light it.  Now looking bleakly around the small space, her mind began to work again and she had a sudden thought.  With an ironic smile that didn’t touch her eyes, she went to her food supply bag and began to rummage inside.  In moments she had found what she sought.  A bottle of the pale rice wine of Japa, called Sake.  She had purchased it in Higuchi before they had left, more as a medicinal aid and curiosity than as something she wanted to drink.  That was then, this is now!  Now I WANT a drink, she thought gloomily, and if this isn’t the time, by Zeus, I dunno what would be.

 

Working the cork loose, she smelled the open neck of the bottle.  Humph.  Not much smell.  Probably it isn’t that strong.  Hades!  She cursed.  And here I wanted to get a nice buzz on, too!  Oh well, it’ll probably just take more.   She took an exploratory taste, then swallowed and made a face.  Sour and dry; ikkk.  Like white wine maybe.  Damn, I was hoping for something like Ouzo.  Oh, well.  She upended the bottle and took a long deep swig.  It was not like drinking water, but there was nothing like the bite of the Greek beverage she was used to.  She took another drink and rolled the liquid around in her mouth before swallowing.  Nothing.  No kick.  Just great!  She sighed, absently taking another mouthful and sending it straight down.  At least it isn’t nasty tasting, like Retsina or port.  Never could see why Xena liked that stuff.  She swallowed some more, and smacked her lips. 

 

Huh.  For a dry wine with no kick to it, Sake’s not too bad, actually … Whew!  Is the humidity kicking up?  Why is it so damned hot in here?

 

 

Chapter 4

 

It was sunset and the horizon was bright with light that colored the slowly rolling waves with orange sparkles when Gabrielle ventured onto the deck of the Sullen Dragon carrying the bottle.  The bard was barefoot and naked except for her silver wrist protectors and a towel draped loosely around her trim waist.  As she came out of the companionway, she gulped the last contents of the Sake bottle and took a deep breath of the cool sea air and felt her nipples crinkle.

 

“Ahhh. At’s better.  It wuz gettin’ hotter’n Dahak’s volcano down-nare…” She stumbled on the deck combing and caught herself on the side of the entryway, barely saving the towel from sliding down her thighs.  “Whoa, there, Argo…” she muttered.  “Gotta get m’ sea-legs.  Mus’be gettin’ roughish (HIC!)” She giggled, covering her mouth.  “Sorry ‘bout that, ev’rbody, it’s jus’ a l’il white wine…” 

  

The bard’s eyes felt scratchy and puffy, the end of her nose was red and there seemed to be a singing in her ears.  She looked at the empty Sake bottle she was holding, and tsked.  “’Nother dead warrior,” she said sadly, “Tha’s all I get.  Dread … I mean DEAD warriors. (URP!) Goo’bye, poor dead warrior…” she intoned, kissing the bottle and tossing it overboard.

 

She looked hazily around the ship as if searching for something.  Her gaze fell on several Chin crewmen nearby with bowls of rice and fish, who stopped eating and stared as she staggered towards them, bare breasts bouncing.  She peered intently at them and her face brightened.  “Xe-Xena?  Izzat you?”  The towel chose this time to fall from her hips to her ankles; she paid no attention but squinted.  The wide-eyed men gaped at her, and began backing away.  “Oh, no ya don’…” she growled, “Ya ain’ gettin’ away that easy, (HIC!) W-Warrior Princess-cess!  Come out, come out, wherever y’are…” She lurched forward toward them. 

 

The men turned to flee when Gabrielle suddenly flipped into a spinning cartwheel and grabbed one man, a slender sailor whose nickname among the crew (for obvious reasons) seemed to be ‘Melon Belly’.  He was skinny to the extreme, except that his perfectly round hard stomach looked as though he had swallowed one of the aforementioned fruits whole.  She tripped him to the deck with a leg sweep that Xena had taught her.  The terrified sailor tried to fight back, but the naked bard easily pinned him down and peeled him out of his loose flowing garment, leaving him in only a breechcloth which his hard belly hung over.  Kneeling on his neck, she searched through the flowing clothing.  “I know yer in ‘ere, Xena!  Quit hidin’ an come on out, dammit…”

 

Finding nothing, she picked the trembling Melon Belly up and handed him his clothes. “M’ terr-billy sorry, (ERPS!) Beg yer par’on,” she grunted, making an attempt to dust him off.  “I thot you were a W-Warrior Princess…”

 

When she released him, the nearly naked man ran away leaving his clothing.  Ignoring him, she draped the fallen towel over her shoulders where it hid nothing, least of all her pert breasts.  Then she went weaving here and there over the deck, looking everywhere, behind bails of trade goods, coils of rope, into nooks and crannies along the ship and as she went she alternated between calling the warrior’s name and making a rhyme of it. 

 

“C-Come back lil Xena,

I wish’d on a star.

Come back m’ dead warrior,

don’ know where you arrrre…(URPS!)”

 

Gabrielle began poking around amid some bails of cotton on the deck.  “Xeeeena,” she said loudly.  “I know yer h-here somewhere, dammit! (HIC!) Come out’n t-talk to me!”

 

Suddenly a large hand spun the naked blond around, and the towel flew off her shoulders.  She gaped to see captain Huezwang standing there glaring.  The huge man was paying no attention to her nudity; he looked angry.  “You … drunk … or crazy?” He demanded in his thick accent.  “You … scare my crew!”

 

Gabrielle stared at him through bleary eyes, then suddenly laughed and hiccoughed and giggled and hiccoughed again.  “I don’ (URP!) believe it,” she giggled.

 

The captain was confused.  “What?” He looked at her in puzzlement.

 

“I don’ believe you r-r-really have a h-huge wang, Miss’er Huge-Wang, I mean, Huezwang!”  She giggled and stumbled against his stomach as the ship rolled in a gentle swell.  “Oops, sorry there, big guy!  S’really rough t-tonight, so don’ get th’ wrong idea, heh heh!  Yer n-not my type, no matter how h-huge ya are!” 

 

“You drunk!”  His lip curled.  “Woman should … no be drunk.  No honor!” 

 

The bare bard squinted up at him.  “I ga’ no hon-hor?  T-Take tha’ back, ya big over-overstuffe’ MAN, or I’ll put th’ smack onya…” She poised her fists.  “Com’ on, Miss’er Big Wang!  Th’ bigger they are, th’ HIC-arder they fall…” She wobbled as she started a slow looping right towards his jaw.

 

He dodged aside easily, picked her up and threw her over his massive shoulder.  “You go cabin.” He rumbled ponderously.  “You sleep!”  He was holding onto her calves and she was hanging down his back naked, facing the way they had come. 

 

“H-Hey!  Lem’me go!”  The upside-down bard punched uselessly at the air and slurred,  “I tol’ ya, I like ‘em tall an’ t-tan an … an’ d-deadly … an’(EEPS!) fe-female!”  She added as an afterthought.

 

The huge Chin captain paid no heed, but carried the small woman like a child across the deck to her cabin.  Once inside, he flopped her face first into the rope-hammock and said, “You no … come out, till … not drunk!  Sleep!”  He blew out the oil lamp, slammed the door behind him, and bolted it from the outside.

 

Gabrielle was caught in the meshes of the hammock and too drunk to get out of them in the dark.  She lay there, giggling and hiccuping as she sang.

 

“Oh, come back, my l’il Xena …

Don’ be (HIC!) any meana…

I loved ya first I seen ya,

Xena-Xena-Xenaaaa…”

 

She giggled to herself as she lay there swinging with the ship’s motion.  Then a sudden sob filled her throat and she choked.  “Xena?  Aw, please Xena … come bac’, m’love … please … I’ll ne’er doit agin … I prom-hiss…” There was no answer and the bard began sobbing inconsolably in the darkness of the cabin until she fell into a drunken sleep.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

“XENA!  Wake up!”  Suddenly the swirling white was all around the warrior ghost, filling her vision and blocking out the wind and the grayness.  The feeling was almost that of an electric shock and the ghost seemed to shudder as more words crashed into her mind. “Xena!  It is ME!  It is Akemi!  You must think, Xena! You must listen to me and focus, or you will be lost, maybe forever!”

 

The mental voice was penetrating and the warrior, while still confused, was nevertheless more aware.  “A-Akemi?  Is … Is that you?”

 

“Yes, Xena!  Yes!  That is it!  Listen and concentrate!” The spinning whiteness sounded more cheerful.

 

“Wh-Where are we?”  Xena was bewildered as she stared around at the roiling grayness and listened to the wind.  Where was the ship?  The blue ocean horizon?  The mast she had been sitting on?  There was nothing but the grayness and the wind and she felt as if she was coming awake after a long sleep.

 

“We are in Limbo,” said the swirling whiteness that was the soul of her onetime captive, friend, and lover.  “You must concentrate, Xena.  Like you told me Lao Ma taught you.”

 

“Why?  What’s happening?”  The ghost asked, growing more alert with each passing moment.  “It-It feels like I’ve been on Henbane or something.  What is this place?  ‘Limbo’ you called it?”

 

“It is a place of the dead,” said the spiritsoul that was Akemi.  “Limbo is neither Heaven nor Hell, it is a place in between!  It is where lost souls go to forget and to be forgotten and to float endlessly feeling no pain.  A soul in dire pain…” The spirit seemed to hesitate over the words before continuing, “…and distress may find this place, but once here, the winds of Limbo take away not only the pain, but also all thoughts of any kind.  Once that happens the soul may float forever, feeling and thinking nothing, but at a kind of peace.”

 

As she floated there, now more aware, Xena found she could sense other nearly invisible ghosts hovering within the whispering grayness.  They were blown here and there by the winds, floating and silent.  Not moving of their own volition, they seemed somehow dead or perhaps asleep.

 

“By the gods,” the warrior’s ghost shuddered.  “That must have been how I came here!  I-I wanted peace, and I must have somehow come here to Limbo to find it.”

 

The whiteness that was Akemi was puzzled.  “But, why, Xena?  You had peace.  You freed the spiritsouls and they had their revenge.  You should have been by your Gabrielle’s side and happy.”

 

Xena spoke softly.  “Yeah, well, it didn’t work out that way,” she said sadly.

 

“Why, my dear teacher?  What has happened?” 

 

“Look, Akemi,” the warrior was gloomy.  “I just finally realized it.  I’m no good for her.  All I do is hurt her...”

 

The spiritsoul spun slowly.  “Why do you say that, my dear teacher?  You love Gabrielle.  I could see it every moment you were with her.  How could you hurt her?”

 

The ghost hung her head.  “Because I … I’m a coward.”

 

“Xena; the great warrior?  A coward?”  The sunflower shaped whiteness that was the spiritsoul of Akemi was bewildered.  “You who have stood fearlessly against armies, time and again and who always fought the good fight?  You claim to be coward?”

 

“Great warrior?  Shit!  Some great warrior I am.”  The ghost growled.  “Listen, Akemi.  All my life I’ve been running.  I ran from Caesar to Chin.  I ran from Japa when I failed you.  I ran from Borias when I bore his child.  I ran out on that baby, my poor Solan, leaving him with the centaurs instead of taking responsibility for being his mother.  Time and time again I have run…”

 

“Xena, that is untrue,” gasped Akemi.  “You have always stood and fought the battle that needed fighting.  You have never run…”

 

“Not from battle maybe, but battle is EASY!  All you can do is win or lose.  Kill or get killed…”

 

“Xena, I do not understand,” the spiritsoul was bewildered.  “What is it then that you claim to have run from?”

 

“Dammit, Akemi!  Can’t you see it?” Cried the warrior ghost.  “I’ve run from COMMITMENT!” 

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

The wind was whipping across the deck of the Sullen Dragon and Gabrielle was again practicing with her katana on the bow of the ship.  Slowly and carefully, she took herself through the series of two-handed moves with the sword.  As she went through the dance-like motions of attack and defense, she moved faster and faster, till the many-folded steel blade was a blur of spinning light in the sun.  Finally with a last lightning move, she sheathed the katana in the wooden scabbard at her side and stood with her fists touching across her chest and her head bowed as perspiration dripped off her brow.

 

There was no ghostly applause and although she didn’t expect it, she missed it.  Sighing, she straightened and took a towel, mopped her damp face and hung the cloth around her neck.  She picked up a water skin and drank sparingly from it before falling into a lotus position and closing her eyes to meditate with Yoga.  As she stepped outside of herself in the depth of the meditation, she felt the calmness come over her and begin to leech out some of the pain and blackness inside her soul. 

 

It had been a week and a day now since Xena had vanished, and the bard had gone on her drunken binge.  The day after, she had awakened in the hammock, with her eyes crusty and suffering the torments of the damned in the form of a pounding headache and grinding nausea.  She had attempted to get out of the contraption and commenced violently retching until she thought she couldn’t possibly have anything left in her to come up. Unfortunately, it seemed that she was always wrong, and even the pressure points on her wrists didn’t seem to help much.  Finally she had made it stumbling up on deck, and the bright sun had seemed to smash into her eyes, causing a feeling like there was an iron spike driven through her brain.  With a whimper she had staggered back below to the semi-comforting darkness of the cabin.  Here the dry heaves took hold of her and she fell across the hammock with her head down and her behind in the air.  There she hung folded in the middle like a horseshoe, retching and moaning for hours.

 

Finally partly recovered late in the day, the embarrassed and strung-out bard had emerged on deck and gone directly to captain Huezwang.  She apologized to him for what little she remembered of the entire incident, and promised never to do such a thing again while on his ship.  The huge man had accepted her apology, waved off her explanations and when she was through, he had gone back to studying his sea map.  She had also attempted to apologize to the crewman called Melon Belly, but the slender man had seemed too self-conscious to answer her.  Despondently she had made her way back to her cabin to fall into the hammock.  She fell asleep vowing to herself to never EVER drink that way again, no matter what the provocation might seem to be.

 

In the week since, Gabrielle had seen no sign that her ghostly soulmate was anywhere inboard the Sullen Dragon.  Indeed, she had become convinced that the ghost of her friend was gone; perhaps for good.  The mere thought of this made her cringe inside, so she pushed it away with all her willpower, immersing herself in constant weapons practice during the day, and reading and penning scrolls at night until she fell asleep from exhaustion.  Many nights she woke herself up crying her friend’s name in her sleep, then got up and walked the decks of the silent ship till dawn.

 

After several more days sailing, the Sullen Dragon put into a port on the coast of Chin for supplies.  During the two-day stay in the port, some trading was done and fresh supplies of food and water were swayed aboard.  Gabrielle made one trip to the town market to buy some personal food supplies, but other than that, the depressed bard stayed inboard the junk.  She kept mainly to her cabin and wrote sad poems or slept. 

 

The night before they were due to sail with the morning tide, two of the crewmen got sick, rolling and moaning with cramps and sweating.  Gabrielle asked the captain to let her examine them, and reluctantly, he did so.  Looking at their sallow skin, sweating pores and shaking limbs, the bard was inclined to think that they had been poisoned by something and told the captain so.  But the big man seemed not to trust her and after her naked drunken jag the week before, the bard did not feel like pressing the issue. 

 

A local herb doctor was called onboard, and after through examination and questioning, he pronounced that the two crewmen had been poisoned by bad food that they had eaten in a well-known local dive in the port.  They were, he said, too ill to continue the voyage.  They would need much rest onshore for at least a week and that they would be too sickly to work for at least another week after that.  Captain Huezwang was NOT happy.  He had the two crewmen taken ashore to rest and recover, declaring he would sail on the morning tide and go shorthanded for now.  He promised to pick the two up on his way back through the area.

 

News it seemed, traveled fast in the port and many men needed work.  That same evening, six out-of-work sailors came by seeking employment on the Sullen Dragon.  Since the junk carried a crew of only twenty-five and no one had been looking forward to the extra work that two missing crewmen had meant, captain Huezwang interviewed them all.  After questioning them in detail about their sailing experience, he was pleased when they all gave the right answers.  Happily, the large captain hired two of them at random, a happy looking man called Merry Chan and a burly fellow with a scar on his cheek named Soong.  He told the two to come aboard immediately and dismissed the others saying there were no other positions open.  The rest looked dejected as they left, and one even cursed him, swearing that he would get even with the captain for not hiring him.

 

Gabrielle was on deck doing exercises when Merry Chan and Soong moved their meager belongings onboard, and for some reason the bard felt uneasy at seeing them.  But she could not give a name to her feelings, and said nothing to anyone.  While going through her sword drills, she covertly watched the two men and had to admit that they were polite, worked well with the others and seemed knowledgeable enough at their jobs.  In particular, Merry Chan seemed to have a quick wit and told funny stories that made the other crewmen howl with laughter.  Finally, after a time, she put it down to her feelings of loss and unease over Xena’s disappearance.

 

That night she wrote in her journal scroll, “I have not seen my dear friend now for twelve days and nights.  I fear something terrible has happened to her, for I cannot make myself believe that she would not come back to my side unless she somehow could not. 

Oh, Xena.  Where are you now?  Why don’t you come back? 

Oh, my beloved.  Are you in the Elysian Fields or Heaven even now?  If you are I’m happy for you, but sadness threatens to overcome me for what I may have lost.

After your death at Higuchi, you came back to me, to be beside me even in death, just as you always promised that you would, time after time … and I as much as pushed you away. 

My love, if it was me that made you leave with my foolish and selfish words, then I deserve to lose you, but I may never recover from my guilt if that is the case. 

I will never again know peace until I find out what happened to you or where you are.

Every night I pray to whatever gods there are to listen, to hear my prayers and send you back to me.

I love you, my dear friend.  Please come back.  Please.”

 

With bleary eyes, Gabrielle put away her quill and looked at what she had written.  She sighed.  She was tired to the bone, but her mind would not seem to shut off.  Overhead the ship’s bell chimed for the hour past midnight, and with a groan, the bard rolled up the scroll and put her writing supplies away for another night.  She turned the oil flame down low and climbed into the hammock with not too much trouble.  Sighing, she lay there in the near darkness and felt tears welling beneath her closed eyelids.  Then she settled herself for sleep and using her Yoga she shut off each part of her body from the extremities, to her middle, to her chest and finally to her head. 

 

As the comforting blackness finally pulled her down, her last thought stood out golden and clear in her mind.  “Xena.  Please come back.” 

 

Then she fell into a troubled sleep with the roll of the ship rocking her gently.

 

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Chapter 5

 

The warrior looked dejectedly at the spiritsoul of her old friend and lover and spoke softly.  “Commitment is the hardest thing in life to give, Akemi.  To trust someone other than yourself enough to commit your well being, your happiness, your … your ALL to them and for them.”  She smiled forlornly.  “Gabrielle has no trouble doing that, but me?  I’ve never done that.”

 

“But you have committed to her, have you not, dear teacher?”  The spiritsoul seemed perplexed.

 

“That’s a laugh.”  The raven-haired ghost was remorseful.  “Under the pretext of helping the world all this time, I have been running from any kind of commitment to those who loved or cared for me.  Running from Hercules, Borias, Solan, from my mother, from my friends, from anyone who offered me forgiveness or love because deep down I knew I’d hurt them in the end and I couldn’t stand the thought.  I’ve run from them all and worst of all …  now I’ve even run from Gabrielle.  The woman who loves me more than her own life!”  Xena wailed into the wind.  “Even though I tried to drag her to death behind a horse, she forgave me!  She even jumped into certain death in a volcano with her own daughter to save me from dying!”

 

The spiritsoul’s whiteness spun, regarding her silently as the warrior went on.

 

Xena’s voice trembled.  “Gabrielle stood by me, even went to her own crucifixion just to be with me in death.  When I became a demon in Hell, she sacrificed her own feelings of love to try and kill me.  It would have broken her heart, but she knew that was what I would have wanted, so she attempted it.  For ME!  Later she followed me to the north after I left her behind and stuck with me when I fought Grindal and Grendal and Odin and she ended up sleeping for a year because of it.  She could have even dropped that damn urn with my ashes into the Spirit Pool and claimed it was an accident, but she went with my wishes over her own as usual.”  The raven-haired ghost groaned.  “SHE has commitment, Akemi.  I don’t.”  Tears filled her eyes.  “I can’t face hurting her anymore, Akemi.  I-I just can’t!   This solution is better for both of us.”

 

There was silence for a moment as the two spirits regarded one another.  Then Akemi spoke, and her voice was scornful.  “You always did think you knew better than ANYONE else, didn’t you Xena?  So here you are, now?  Hiding in Limbo?  That is your wonderful solution?”  Her spinning whiteness somehow showed disdain. “You are dead and she is alive, but you were still together until you came here and you could have been happy.  That was enough for Gabrielle, but not for you, was that it, Xena?”

 

Xena found herself angry. “What the Hell do you know about it, Akemi?  I tell you I’m no good for her!  I’m doing her the biggest favor of her life by staying away from her!”

 

“Oh, really?”  The swirling whiteness sneered.  “Let me tell you what I think about that.  I think that you have gotten into the HABIT of suffering, Xena, even when you do not need to suffer anymore!  I think you constantly need to come up with new ways to torture yourself!”  The spiritsoul’s voice was grim.  “For years now you and Gabrielle have done nothing but good, slaying evil after evil, righting wrong after wrong!  Now even Yudoshi is dead!  The spiritsouls he ate are free, and you are absolved, and you should be happy,” Akemi spoke with authority.  “But here you are, still trying to suffer by telling yourself how bad you are hurting Gabrielle!  Are you a fool, or just deluded?”

 

Xena’s ghost was astonished.  “But, Akemi…”

 

 “NO!  Enough!  Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”  Snapped the spiritsoul; then her tone softened.  “Xena!  Xena!  Do you not see?  It is time for you to let your suffering go.  To make Gabrielle’s life as happy as possible for whatever remains of it!”  She whispered, “And in doing so … YOU will be happy too!  And you are ALLOWED to be happy Xena!  Even I can see it!”

 

“Akemi,” the warrior swallowed.  “How can you know these things?”

 

“Because even dead, I have eyes to see,” Akemi said with a sob.  “I was in her place, remember, Xena?  In those three short months we were together.  After you rescued me from that evil man who held me, then later when you … loved me beneath the cedars in the snow.  You gave me such pleasure, as I had never known from another in my short life and I gave my all to you.  Oh, my dear teacher, I loved you.  I would have followed you anywhere in life or death, teaching and being taught by you, b-but I had no choice.  My duty to revenge my dead family came first…” Her voice seemed to catch. 

 

“Akemi…” The ghost’s eyes blurred with unshed tears.

 

“Oh, Xena,” whispered the spirit.  “You loved me enough to kill me to end my suffering after honor had demanded that I commit seppuku for killing Yudoshi.  Then you loved me enough to attempt to fulfill my last wish to be taken to my family shrine at Higuchi and fought the villagers who denied you entry.  You were committed then!”  Her voice sharpened.  “Your Gabrielle has followed you and followed you, even at cost of her own life!  How DARE you even THINK of throwing her love away?  She is your soulmate!  You promised you would be with her even after death … and the first time it gets hard and she tells you how she feels about what you did, you want to throw it all away and tell her to go suffer some more!”  The spiritsoul’s voice was unforgiving.  “In the beginning you taught me, Xena, but now it seems the student must teach the teacher…”

 

Xena said nothing, but it seemed to her that all her pain was welling up in an immense ball inside her.

 

“Think, Xena.  Remember what you told me about your mentor, Lao Ma.” The swirling whiteness that was the spiritsoul was gentle.  “How she taught you about focusing your thoughts on a problem.  What would she have said about what you are doing?  Oh, focus and think, Xena!  By leaving her, are you really sparing Gabrielle so much future pain?  Or are you causing her so much MORE pain and guilt at having driven you away, that she will have no future because … she does not WANT one … without you?”

 

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The Sullen Dragon had been two days at sea since the stop at the port.  The weather was clear, but the wind was brisk and the Chin-junk was moving at a good clip through the water as Gabrielle performed her exercises on the bow deck.  It was a cool breezy day, with sea gulls circling and screaming and the dolphins racing the ship, but the bard paid no attention to the splendor all around her.  She was grimly at her practice, keeping her mind focused only on her sword work.  It had now been two full weeks since she had last seen Xena, and the petite blond had given up all hope of ever seeing her friend again until she had died herself.  The only thing that kept her going was her daily workout routine and her meditation.  The workouts kept her so tired that she couldn’t feel the immense sadness that filled her to the brim, and the yoga kept her mind blank the rest of the time.

 

In the middle of her katana work, she heard the lookout call excitedly from the rigging.  Following his pointing arm, she saw a good-sized ship some miles away just coming out of a cove along the Chin coast.  The unknown craft had a black hull and yellow sails and furthermore seemed to be moving towards them.  The bard looked back to the poop deck where captain Huezwang, the first mate and the helmsman were gathered around the wheel.  The large captain was peering through a far-seeing glass at the other ship.  Gabrielle was a good judge of body language, and she was certain that the captain and his first mate were worried.  Maybe the other ship is a pirate, she thought anxiously.  I hope we aren’t in for a fight.

 

Huezwang obviously had the same thought, for his shouted orders caused the trading-junk to sheer away from the other ship and the crew to swarm aloft to hoist more sail.  The other ship was now coming directly at their stern, following at a good clip. 

 

Turning to a nearby crewman, she pointed back at their pursuer and asked, “What ship is that?”

 

The sailor just happened to be Melon Belly, the man she had stripped out of his clothing when she was drunk.  Staring at her nervously, he hesitated at first, but then when she softly repeated the question, he spoke slowly.  “It are … ship of Tso Scorpion Mouth.”  He looked back as if that answered her question.

 

Gabrielle touched his arm.  He flinched and looked at her as if worried.  The bard’s smile was reassuring and he relaxed.  “What … who, is Tso Scorpion Mouth?”  She asked.

 

Melon Belly shivered.  “Scorpion Mouth is bad man!  Captain that ship.  They slave takers.  Them catch … them sell us as slave.”

 

Nodding her thanks, the petite woman looked back with some worry at the other ship.  However, her apprehensions lifted when it became apparent that the slaving ship was falling behind.  It seemed that the Sullen Dragon had a fast pair of heels.  Gabrielle smiled.  Perhaps there was little to be concerned about after all.

 

Abruptly, shouting from the helmsman sunk that hope.  Gabrielle looked back to see the wheel spinning in his hands, with no apparent moves by him.  At the same moment, the Sullen Dragon lurched in the water, as the sea seemed to smash at her.  The shock tumbled the bard to the deck with most of the crew.  Sweet Gaia, she thought.  Did we hit a reef?  More smashes brought water cascading over the bow in tub-fulls washing the petite woman into a pile of ropes near the stairway to the main deck. 

 

Barked orders from captain Huezwang and Li-Yuan, sent the crew scurrying aloft to bring down most of the sails, leaving only a small one at the bow to hold the junk into the wind.  Picking herself up from the tangle of ropes into which she had been thrown, Gabrielle was aware that the trade-ship was now steady once more and no longer smashing into the waves, but her speed was negligible.  In fact … it seemed to Gabrielle that the ship was turning slowly as if to go back and meet their pursuers.  The bard looked at the slaver ship and was appalled at how much closer it suddenly seemed.  “So much for not worrying,” she muttered.  Looking back to the poop deck, she could see the captain and first mate peering down over the stern of the junk and shouting curses.

 

Making her way to them, she looked over the stern railing as well.  At first she saw nothing unusual, but then became aware that the rudder was turned against the stern of the ship, and looking closer, she saw with horror that the steering ropes that turned the rudder had broken.  The ship could not be steered.  That was why the water had seemed to suddenly smash into the ship.  Without her rudder working, the junk could not be held on course and was at the mercy of the wind and sea. 

 

Seeming to notice her for the first time, the captain seemed to get angry.  “Crazy woman! Go to cabin!  You no belong here!  GO!”

 

Gabrielle drew herself up and then bowed stiffly and left the wheel deck.  As she went to her cabin, she heard orders being shouted in Chin dialect and the crewmen were arming themselves with swords, spears and crossbows.  She knew captain Huezwang did not trust her and she didn’t really blame him.  She also knew that he was worried and afraid for his cargo and crew, and even for her, his ‘crazy’ passenger.  As she reached her cabin, she heard feet running on the decks above and hastened to her weapons. 

 

“Maybe he doesn’t want my help, but he’s gonna get it whether he wants it or not,” she said grimly, sticking the sai’s into her boot-tops.  As she picked up the chakram, she looked at it and felt the grief for her lost partner like a tangible thing.  A wave of sadness threatened to overwhelm her again and a tear ran down her cheek.  “And maybe I’ll be joining Xena quicker than I thought”, she murmured miserably.  Then she pulled back her shoulders and a determined glint came into her green eyes.  “But not just yet; not if I can help it!”

 

Minutes later, fully armed, Gabrielle went back to see captain Huezwang at the wheel.  Now two crewmen were being bossed by Li-Yuan, the skinny first mate.  He and another were holding the second man over the side with a rope on him so that he could work on the rudder ropes.  The burly captain of the junk was again looking worriedly at the fast approaching slave-raider through his far-seeing glass.  As the blond approached, the first mate noticed her and whispered something to him.  Huezwang took the seeing glass from his eye and scowled at her in irritation.  Ignoring his expression, the bard bowed her head, and after a moment he returned it perfunctorily.

 

“What you … want?” The captain asked laboriously in her language.

 

“To help,” she spoke calmly.  Li-Yuan laughed, and Huezwang rolled his eyes.

 

“You go cabin,” he grunted.  “No place for crazy woman here.” He pointed at the approaching slaver ship.  “Slave-takers come.  Our ship … broken.  We fight soon … maybe lose.”  His expression was bleak.

 

“I am a warrior,” Gabrielle said evenly, ignoring his tone.  “I can help you in this coming fight with Tso Scorpion Mouth and his men.  You have seen me at practice.”

 

He looked surprised that she knew their foe and stroked his long beard as he remembered seeing her doing sword drills, sai practice and sometimes hurling the sharp spinning disk that could ricochet all around his ship, but always returned to her hand like magic.  He hesitated; chewing his lip, then spoke.  “If you warrior … how many men you killed?”

 

The small woman’s face went expressionless.  “Far too many; far more than I care to remember.” Her words were spoken softly, with no bravado.

 

He cocked his head as if surprised at her answer, then his expression changed. “You will fight?”

 

“I will fight,” she agreed.

 

Captain Huezwang pursed his lips, then nodded once.  “Join my crew,” he said.  She nodded and turned to go, when he spoke softly, all arrogance gone.  “…and my … thanks you.”

 

Gabrielle smiled at him and her nose crinkled; she bowed her head again. 

 

Just then there were shouts from the man hanging over the stern, and the captain stiffened as if an arrow had struck him.  A look of outrage came over his broad face. 

 

Gabrielle cocked her head calmly.  “What is it?” 

 

Furiously, the captain glared as if he wanted to strike her, then drew air through his nose and took control of himself.  His voice was harsh as he spoke.  “Steer … ropes.  Not broke.  They CUT!”

 

A dangerous glint came into Gabrielle’s green eyes.  Someone was a traitor.  One or both of the new men who had joined them at the last port might have been plants.  Or … perhaps we even have a stowaway aboard, she thought, remembering the man who had sworn to get even when he wasn’t hired.  Great, she thought.  Why can’t it ever be easy?  She smiled grimly at the livid captain, then nodded and went to join the fighters gathering at the rail.

 

Looking among them, she saw one of the two new hires, the humorous man called Merry Chan, waiting with the other crewmen.  He held a curved sword he had been given and looked pale.  Gabrielle counted noises among the crewmen.  Besides the men working at the stern, all were accounted for except one, she realized.  The other new hire, the burly man with the scar called, Soong, was missing.  Guess that answers who the traitor is, she thought with anger, the bastard’s hiding out till after the battle.

 

As she stood there, moving easily with the sway of the crippled ship, she raised her face to the blue sky and thought, Xena, my beloved.  This may be my last battle, or only the first one of many more to come throughout my life.  But if this is to be my last day on earth, I will spend it fighting for the greater good, just as you always did.  She closed her eyes against tears that threatened to overwhelm her.  No argument can keep us apart for long my dear one, I know that.  And if I fall today before seeing you again, know that I love you my friend, and I always will.

 

She opened her eyes and smiled at her missing soulmate, then straightened herself in preparation for battle.

 

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Chapter 6

 

The warrior ghost and the spiritsoul that was Akemi floated amidst the incessant wind and gray churning nothing that was Limbo and stared at one another.

 

“Akemi,” the warrior’s ghost finally whispered.  “What are you saying?”  She swallowed.  “Th-That if I don’t go back, Gabrielle, might … harm herself?”

 

The spiritsoul of the young woman was pensive.  “I do not know, Xena.  She seemed to me to be stronger than that.  I think she is, but…”

 

“But what?”  Despite having no body, Xena suddenly felt cold.

 

Akemi hesitated, then continued.  “Perhaps if Gabrielle were to get in a situation where she could be killed, she might be thinking more of being with you than of winning the fight, and…”

 

The warrior ghost finished, “…and not fight as hard as she could to survive so she could join me?”  She shook her head.  “No.  I don’t see her doing that.  Once she sets her mind on a thing, Gabrielle is the most stubborn, no, DETERMINED woman I have ever met.”  Her voice showed her pride in the bard.  “She will carry on despite it all, come gods, demons, Tartarus, Heaven or Hell!”

 

“And if she has set her mind on being … with you?”  Akemi’s spirit regarded the warrior’s ghost somberly.

 

Xena was taken aback and her thoughts swirled.  Could Gabrielle do such a thing?  Not fight as hard as she could?  Get herself killed to join me?  For a moment she was filled with trepidation.  Then she recalled a youthful red-haired bard, standing up to Xena with a pitchfork when the berserk warrior was ready to slay a village full of innocents.  Going out with no thought for her own safety to help the wounded on the battleground with the Horde.  Then following Xena to Chin to prevent her from doing murder to a murderous man.  Pleading with the warrior to stay and fight the Persians for the greater good, even though the poisoned bard was dying.  Acting as bait for her grandson the Destroyer, so that the Warrior Princess could get in a clean blow.  Later, throwing away her staff and trying to follow the Path of Love, even when she wanted to help Xena fight injustice.  These and many other images of the bard’s stubbornness and passion flashed through her mind in an instant.

 

“No,” she said, smiling with conviction.  “Gabrielle would never take the easy or safe way out of anything.  Not out of trouble or out of life, either.”

 

The spiritsoul was silent for a moment, then said gently, “Like you are doing, my dear friend and teacher?”

 

Xena was flabbergasted.  Then she blurted, “Akemi, I am NOT!  This is for her own good…” but her voice trailed off.  Akemi said nothing, merely watched her and Xena felt an immense sadness filling her.  “By the gods, Akemi,” she choked.  “Can I have really been this blind?”

 

“No, dear teacher,” the spiritsoul seemed to be smiling.  “You see well enough.  You just love her so much, that you will do ANYTHING to protect her.  When you didn’t know what to do to protect her, you hid the truth from yourself.  You both do that, so it seems.”

 

“Oh, Akemi,” the warrior whispered with a sob.  “You’ve opened my eyes to my foolishness.  How can I ever repay you?”

 

The spiritsoul’s voice was tender, but there was a sadness in it as well.  “Just go to her, my dear teacher. Go to her and … and love her and never again let her go.”

 

Xena was joyful.  “Yes, oh, yes!  I will, Akemi.  I WILL!  Right now!”  She spun around in the grayness, then stopped.  “Hmmm.  There seems to be a problem,” she said with discomfort.

 

“What is it, Xena?”

 

“I, uh, don’t seem to recall how I got here,” she said and her voice was sheepish.  “How do I get out of here?”

 

“Concentrate on your Gabrielle.  She can lead you back to the golden whirlpool that appears to everyone who wishes to enter Limbo.”

 

“Akemi, oh, Akemi.  Gabrielle and I will never forget how you saved me from myself.”  Xena tried to hug the spinning whiteness that was the spirit of her old friend and lover, but found her ghostly arms passing through it.  She was rueful. “Sorry, guess that doesn’t work here any better than it does with Gabrielle.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart my friend ... for both of us.”  She thought about Gabrielle, and seemed to sense an eddy of currents in the grayness around her, that led away and found herself convinced that was the direction she wanted to go.  She turned about to face the currents she wanted to follow.  “Goodbye, Akemi. And THANK you.”

 

“Goodbye, my dear teacher,” Akemi said softly; she somehow seemed to be looking down.

Ready to go, Xena suddenly stopped as something in the spiritsoul’s voice struck her; she turned back.  Her voice was perplexed.  “Akemi … how did you find me?  How did you know I was in Limbo?”

 

The spiritsoul of her old lover seemed uncomfortable somehow.  “I, uh, was just passing by and saw you…”

 

The ghost raised an eyebrow.  “Akemi, you said that only spirits who want to lose themselves come to Limbo.”  She spoke calmly.  “How did you know that?  Why were you here in the first place?”

 

“Does it matter?”  The spiritsoul seemed tired.  “Go to her, Xena. Go to Gabrielle.  You must hurry.  Time passes differently here than on earth.  It could be many days since you left.”

 

Xena looked at her for long moments, and when she finally spoke her tone was distressed but assured. “Akemi, don’t try to confuse the issue.  You were here because you were coming to Limbo yourself, weren’t you?  You came here and were surprised to see me, so that’s why you spoke to me.”

 

There was silence for a moment, then the spirit spoke low.  “Yes.”

 

“Why, Akemi?  Why?”  The warrior ghost was baffled.  “You were free to go on and be reborn with the other spiritsouls.  Why come here to this place?”

 

The slowly swirling whiteness said nothing, but seemed to tremble.

 

“Why?”  Xena shouted, suddenly angry for some reason she could not fathom.  “Tell me!”

 

“Because I wanted OBLIVION!”  The spirit finally shrieked.  “I wanted to FORGET!”  And her voice sobbed with remorse.

 

Xena was taken aback by the wailing spirit.  She was silent for a time till the spirit’s sobbing slowed, then spoke gently. “Akemi, what did you have to forget?  You were the victim here…”

 

“NO!  I wanted, I NEEDED to forget … what I had done to YOU!  Xena, I LOVED you, and I got you KILLED!  I made you what you are today, Xena, a GHOST at your soulmate’s side!”

 

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Chapter 7

 

The slave raider was sailing straight for the side of the trading junk as if to ram it.  Gabrielle watched it come, dispassionately counting the number of weapon waving enemies crowded onto the slaver’s rigging, rope ladders and sides and figuring the odds.  It looked to the bard as if there were roughly three times as many slavers as there were in the crew of the trade-ship.  That meant about seventy to eighty, since the crew of the Sullen Dragon was but twenty-five.  It looks like it’ll be a short fight and a merry one, she thought grimly.  Then looking at the slaver’s man crowded rigging, an idea came to her.  Hmmm.  Maybe when they get a bit closer, I can cut the odds a bit.  Gonna take good timing though.  Putting away the katana, Gabrielle climbed onto the rope ladder to the mainmast of the junk, and waited.

 

On came the sleek vessel, hordes of Chin-slavers in black short coats and pants, wearing red sashes and red bands of cloth around their heads.  As the ship came closer, Gabrielle could see that most of them were waving cudgel-type-bashing weapons, not swords.  Some had long pole-type weapons with flexible wooden jaws on the end, called ‘man-catchers’.  When shoved at a victim, the wooden jaws would close around a man’s waist or neck, holding him secure and away from arms reach of his captor.  Of course clubs and man-catchers all make sense, thought the waiting bard grimly.  They want to take as many of us alive as possible.  A dead slave brings no dinars on the auction block. 

 

On came the slaver, and now the few crossbows of the Sullen Dragon’s crew fired their bolts and some javelins were hurled.  A man or two fell screaming from the raiding ship, but most of the missiles missed, hitting the water or sticking in the hull.  Closer and closer came the slaver, and still Gabrielle waited, gauging the distance with narrowed eyes.  Finally, when the ship was but some fifty feet away, she took the chakram from her belt hook, and hurled it as hard as she could at the main mast of the slaver.

 

The snarling weapon left her hand cleanly and shot across the intervening distance in less than a second.  Striking the main mast squarely, the weapon split into its two halves.  Each half then whizzed toward a rope ladder rigging going to the mainmast on either side of the ship and severed each.  The two rope ladders, both loaded with men, instantly collapsed downward.  Men fell screaming holding onto the now useless ladders, others hanging frantically to the portion above where the ropes had broken.  The lucky ones fell onto the deck of the slaver; the unlucky fell shrieking into the sea, where they were sucked beneath the water churning under the moving ships hull.   

 

Meanwhile, the two halves of the chakram each made a wide half circle through the air back towards Gabrielle.  The two halves clinked together above her, forming one circle again and she snatched the spinning weapon out of the air, returning it to her belt hook.

 

Shouts of rage sounded from the slave ship, as it sheered off momentarily from its attack course.  There was wild cheering from the small crew of the Sullen Dragon as Gabrielle vaulted to the deck with a spinning back flip, landed and stood quietly.  She colored slightly and grinned in spite of herself, as she saw captain Huezwang waving his black hat and bellowing, “You … GOOD SHOT!”

 

Now however, the slaver craft made a quick move around to the other side of the helpless trading junk.  There was a grinding woody crunch as the sides of the two ships came together, and the crew was shaken around or knocked off their feet.  The Slaver craft’s sails were dropped to kill the momentum as it nudged the Sullen Dragon aside in the water, and the rudder-crippled merchantman began to drift away.  But almost at the same moment that the vessels came together, dozens of ropes with grappling hooks were flung from the slave ship.  These caught on the railing of the junk, and in bails of cargo, or masts and ropes and even in the shoulder of one screaming crewman.  The slavers bellowed a cry of victory and began pulling the ropes taut so that the two ships would be locked together.

 

The one crewman who was caught by a grappling hook was pulled screaming towards the slave ship like a hooked fish.  Wincing for his pain, Gabrielle hurled the chakram.  The whistling weapon cut the rope pulling the unlucky sailor and he rolled away, to lie moaning with the hook still in him.  The flashing weapon traveled on to sever a number of the ropes linking the two ships together before it bounced back to the bards hand.  However, there were far too many for the tactic to be very effective and more grapnels tailing ropes were hurled even as the others were cut.  Seeing this, Gabrielle secured the weapon back on her belt, and prepared herself for battle.  Now, many fighting men, waiting in the rigging of the slave ship and holding onto ropes began swinging aboard the Chin merchant ship and others began swarming over the railing.  With a roar, the Sullen Dragon’s crew, led by captain Huezwang met them and a terrible fight began, with the sailors trying to keep the slavers off the junk.

 

As the two forces clashed together, Gabrielle stood calmly.  Her eyes were calculating and she was gauging the remaining strength of the Slaver’s Horde clambering and swinging unto the deck of the junk.  There were about sixty men coming.  Her attack with the chakram had taken out perhaps twenty, but to the bard’s trained eye, the odds were still better than two to one.  Now, two large men swung down past the others and landed ready to attack the crew from the rear.  This was what she had been waiting for.  With a quick series of back flips, Gabrielle was there to meet them.  They came grinning to her, seeing only a lone woman who had drawn no weapon.  She would be easy meat.  The first swung a club and she ducked under the blow and closed with him.  Almost face-to-face, she quickly struck the pressure points in his neck and he fell, gasping and paralyzed in an instant.  

 

The other had stopped grinning while she met his friend, and struck at her with his cudgel.  Dodging, she grabbed his arm across her chest with both hands, and planted four snap-kicks under it from her booted foot into his face in a second and a half.  Then she spun him away from her screaming blood and teeth.  The other man was in the throes of dying from the pinch she had put on him.  She leaped to him and removed the paralysis, then smashed him unconscious with a quick blow from the butt of a sai.

 

Another slaver with a man-catcher had a Chin sailor clamped around the neck and was pulling him along the deck as the man tried uselessly to fight.  She flipped forward toward his back, and fastened her muscular legs around his neck hanging down his back.  As he choked, she threw her weight sideways, causing him to topple over.  Before he hit the deck, she flipped off him and planted a solid kick to his jaw, which smashed him unconscious.  She freed the crewman from the man-catcher and threw the weapon overboard.

 

Now in the clear, Gabrielle saw two crewmen of the Sullen Dragon cut off and beset by half a dozen slave-takers.  The two men were about to be overwhelmed.  Gauging the angles in a split second, she grasped and hurled the chakram. It bounced off the railing and sliced past cutting the heads of each of the six attackers.  They dropped bleeding and bellowing and the two crewmembers managed to scurry past them to rejoin their fellows.  One of them was Melon Belly, who waved gratefully and she nodded back.  Then she deftly caught the returning chakram and dropped it back onto her belt.  Now she drew both sai’s and plunged into another group of slavers who were getting ready to charge her, striking with the blunt handles of the weapons.  Howling men went flying or stumbling to the deck as she dealt out punishing, but for the most part, non-lethal blows that took them out of the fight.

 

The warrior bard was doing a heroic job against the slave-takers, but most of the out-numbered crew of the Sullen Dragon was in trouble and several men dropped even as she attacked.  Captain Huezwang was bellowing orders and hacking with a will, and all his men were trying their best, but the slavers still out-numbered the merchantmen.  Gabrielle grimaced and put away her sai’s.  This would take something more than fists and a few chakram throws.  She drew the katana and the sunlight made the blade flash.  Grimly now, she spun and danced through the slaver crew, the sword a blur of deadly motion.  Where her blade struck, an enemy fell wounded or dying. 

 

Two big men rushed her and she leaped into the air with a split-kick, which took each man in the chest, throwing them spinning backward into others.  As she landed, yet another tried to club her and she beheaded him with a spatter of blood.  Her clothing and fair skin were splashed and stained with red, but none of the blood was yet hers.

 

Now a crossbow bolt flew past her, and looking up she saw a slaver reloading the weapon from where he had climbed into the rigging of the Sullen Dragon.  The bard back-flipped ten feet up the mast, and before she came down, she slashed with the katana.  Her target was not the man, but the rope ladder rigging he was climbing on.  It parted above him and tangled like a fly in a spider web, he fell to land on several of his mates, entangling them all in the ropes.  The bard paid no attention to his fate as she flipped back down, to land on another slaver’s back with both booted feet.  As he fell forward, she rode him down and thudded the hilt of the katana two-handed into his head. 

 

Suddenly, a big Chin man with a tattooed face charged forward out of the melee waving a huge curved blade freshly stained with the blood of Sullen Dragon crewmen.  His cheeks each had a realistic tattoo of a blue scorpion with red pinchers reaching up towards his eyes.  Each scorpion’s tail extended down his cheek and seemingly into his mouth as if they were crawling out of it.  The affect was disgusting in the extreme and somewhat disconcerting, which was of course why he had them. 

 

“Just you and me, bitch!”  He grinned, and licked the blade of his weapon, tasting the blood.  Disgusted, Gabrielle grasped and hurled the chakram at him in a lightning move.  However, the tattooed man was horribly fast.  He dodged aside and the whistling weapon spun past him to bury itself in the chest of a slaver behind him.

 

The warrior bard had not expected this, and while she was gaping for a moment, he leaped forward, blade swinging.  She recovered quickly however, and parried the blow with her katana.  The weapons clashed together throwing sparks and the shock of his blow almost numbed the surprised bard’s hands.  He was stronger than he looked.  She narrowed her eyes and noticed with pleasure that the big man suddenly didn’t look as confident as he had before, either.  She attacked him like lightning, the katana flashing at first his legs, then his head, then an arm.  He parried all of the blows, and returned them with interest.  She feinted a sword blow and then as he blocked towards it, she kicked a booted foot at his unguarded face.  He dodged his head aside barely in time and the blow grazed his ear sending an explosion of blood drops where the edge of her boot scraped the side of his head raw.  He roared and backhanded the bard, spinning her away and then tried to follow up swinging his sword.  She managed to block the blow with a clash of steel and swung back and he stepped back at swords length daring her to follow.   She didn’t take the bait, and the two stood there for a moment, facing one another and panting while the melee went on around them.

 

“You fight pretty damn good, for a short little shit,” he grunted at last as blood ran down his cheek.  “Who are you?”  Watching for an opening, he kept his blade just playing with the tip of hers.

 

“Just a little farm girl from Poteidaia,” she said, circling to put the sun in his eyes.  “And you?”

 

“I am Tso Scorpion Mouth; captain of these bastards,” he grinned, circling the other way to foil her plan.  “Soon to be your owner, little slave.”

 

“Doubtful,” she smiled grimly, revolving with him and keeping her eyes on his face.  “You can’t own anything when you don’t have a HEAD.”

 

For answer the tattooed man merely snarled, dropping the word play.  Now circling one another, the two opponents traded lightning lunges and swipes, all of which missed, or were parried.  It was a good thing for the bard too, for any one of his blows could have maimed or killed her outright.  Tso Scorpion Mouth was an excellent fighter and further had the bonus of being stronger than she was.  However, strength wasn’t everything and she held the edge in skill and quickness. 

 

Time and again, Gabrielle parried or made a spinning attack with the katana that would force the big slaver captain to step back unless he wanted to be holding his head in his hands.  He was coming to the edge of the deck, fast running out of space and he made a desperate lunge to try and get past her guard and move away to the center of the deck again.  The petite warrior ducked and spun, sweeping her leg beneath one of his.  Tso staggered sideways trying to regain his balance and she leaped up and kicked him in the ribs, knocking him back against the railing of the junk.  Before he could recover, she had stepped in holding her katana across his throat.

 

Gabrielle looked him in the face from a foot away and her green eyes were icy. “Now, Tso Scorpion-Lip,” she breathed, wrinkling her nose at his breath.  “As the bastard ‘captain’ of these ‘bastards’, you have two courses of action open to you.  Either you can surrender and call on them to do the same, or you can die and we’ll capture them anyway.”  Without realizing it, she raised an eyebrow like Xena.  “Your choice.”

 

The Scorpion Mouth gulped at the keen blade against his throat and his lips moved with no sound and she knew she had won.  As he licked his lips and opened his mouth to give the orders, suddenly his eye went to something behind her and at the same moment her heightened senses suddenly screamed of danger.

 

The bard began to turn about, but before she could, there came a sudden smashing white-hot pain across her lower back and she was knocked gasping to the deck.  As she rolled over in agony, she saw Merry Chan looking at his curved sword as if shocked to see no blood.  He then stared at her with an expression of disbelief, which went to one of annoyance and he moved towards her with the weapon raised high.  Guess I was wrong about who the traitor was, she thought dully.  She tried to roll aside, but found she couldn’t move for the pain in her back. 

 

Xena, oh, Xena, here I come, my beloved. 

 

She was smiling as something struck her in the head from behind and the blackness came crashing down.

 

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Chapter 8

 

“Akemi,” Xena began, but the spiritsoul’s words flowed too fast to stop now, like a torrent of water over a broken dam.

 

“I couldn’t stand what I had done to you, my dear teacher … my LOVE!  I loved you there in the snow.  I love you STILL!  But I lost you when I killed myself after I had done a daughters duty to her family.”  The spinning whiteness grew calmer and the words came softer.  “When he was still alive, I killed my father, the great lord Yudoshi, foul stench that he was.  Murderer and honorless monster that he was, he deserved nothing more.  But according to our traditions, as a Parricide, I had no honor either, any more than he did for killing his family and keeping me, his only daughter in bondage as a slave.”

 

“Although I was near him everyday, I was helpless to exact revenge for my mother and sisters and brothers and grandparents, for I knew nothing of weapons, so I ran away.  When I did that, Yudoshi, (I will call him father no longer), set a reward for my capture.  The warlord you slayed to rescue me was going to collect that reward, but you and Borias got to him first.  When I saw how you, a mere woman, killed that man with just a touch, I resolved to learn that skill to use it on Yudoshi if ever I got near him again.  I started out just to use you to learn, Xena, but the more I saw you the more I admired you and wanted to be like you … a woman who could fight like a man!”

 

The warrior ghost felt tears blur her vision.  “Akemi,” she choked.  “The person I was then, was just as tainted by evil as Yudoshi was.”

 

“No, my dear teacher,” the spirit’s words were gentle.  “There was a seed of good in you that I knew could flower if it only had a chance.  I could see and feel it sometimes when you would speak or admire the beauty around us, no matter how badly you acted at other times.  It was that part of you that I was drawn to.”  Her voice caught.  “It was that part of you that I fell in love with under the cedars when you called me, ‘Your sweet snow orchid.’”

 

“Akemi, oh, Akemi.”  Xena found herself sobbing.  “You loved me.  How I must have hurt you all those times I hit you, laughed at you, threatened to kill you…”

 

The spiritsoul’s voice was forlorn, like a little girls. “Did … did you love me back?”

 

“Oh, my sweet,” the warrior ghost sighed.  “I did love you, as much as I was capable of in those days ... even more.  I was opening up to you … letting myself fall in love again, for the first time since Lao Ma.  Through my foolishness, she and I had ended badly over a year before.  I thought she was weak and left her to go raiding with Borias.”  She swallowed.  “When I began to know you, I began to fall in love again, and it felt wonderful.”

 

The swirling whiteness was miserable.  “It must have destroyed you then, to have to give me the blow of grace after my seppuku.”

 

Xena was somber.  “When I had to … finish you off, I thought my soul had broken and was bleeding inside me.  I stayed drunk for months afterward. Then when I managed to come out of the bottle, I swore that I would never again fall in love with anyone.  I would never be hurt again.  Once I joined back up with Borias, I closed myself off to love.”

 

“I’m so sorry, my dear teacher.”  Akemi said wretchedly.

 

“Don’t be.  Everything has a purpose, little orchid.  I thought that I had forsaken love and good deeds forever … until I met first, Hercules, and then, Gabrielle.  Two people with souls purer than anyone I had ever met.  Hercules got me started on the path of good.  But Gabrielle … she walked it with me.”

 

The two spirits were silent for a time as the grayness whirled and the wind blew unceasingly around them, full of the floating and silent spirits of forgotten ghosts. 

 

Xena finally spoke.  “Akemi, you never did say why it was you were coming to Limbo.”

 

“Oh, Xena, my beloved teacher,” Akemi sighed.  “You came to Japa at my call.  You slayed Yudoshi and freed us all from his grasp.  Then you stayed dead to allow the 40,000 of Higuchi vengeance upon you.  Your soulmate suffered, you suffered, and it was all because of me!  I could not stand it.”  Her whiteness spun with agitation.  “The other spiritsouls went on to be reborn, but I did not.  I went to visit my dead family in the afterlife, to ask them for forgiveness.  I thought that they might relent, seeing what Yudoshi had done to them and so many others and perhaps I could have enough peace of mind to let myself go on to be reborn. 

 

“But th-they turned their faces from me; even my ... my revered grandfather,” her voice became a sob.  “When I saw them, my mother said I had disgraced them all.  My sisters and brothers turned their faces away.  My grandmother spat upon me.  Grandfather … said nothing, but would not look on me.  I was shunned by all my family!”

 

“They shunned you?” The warrior ghost was shocked.  “Why?  You killed Yudoshi because he killed them!”

 

“Oh, they had many reasons.  But basically, they were threefold,” said the spiritsoul woefully.  “First, I was shunned for the dishonor of killing Yudoshi, for evil though he was, he was my own parent.  Second, because when I killed him, he became the great demon and ate the 40,000 of Higuchi who burned because you tried to take my ashes to our shrine in that city.  Third, and most minor, for serving him all these years after my death, even though since he had swallowed me, I was bound to him and had no choice.” 

 

“Akemi, that’s … wrong,” Xena whispered sorrowfully.

 

The spirit was acerbic.  “It is a pretty paradox, is it not, my beloved teacher?  I was dishonored as Parricide for trying to correct the dishonor of my murdering parent.”  She sighed.  “After that, I had nothing, cared for nothing.  Unforgiven, I no longer wanted to go to be reborn with the other spiritsouls.  After drifting with my guilt grinding at me for a time, I finally sought out Limbo to forget.  I had just found my unhappy way here, when I sensed your presence and I HAD to speak to you.  You who had done and given so much for me and others, should not be here!”

 

‘Akemi,” the ghost said gently.  “YOU should not be here either.”

 

“I cannot face what I have done to so many,” The spiritsoul sobbed.  “The dishonor to my family, serving the demon Yudoshi, ruining so many lives, including yours and that of your Gabrielle.  I am a MONSTER, Xena, not fit to think your name, let alone to speak to you!  I loved you, but I used you for my own ends!  Why should you care what happens to me?”

 

“Akemi, Akemi.  My dear little orchid.”  The warrior ghost whispered.  “You are not a monster.  You were a child when your father ruined your life by killing everyone that you loved and making you a slave in your own house.  When I met you, you were only 18 or 19, and had fled him.  To you, I was just another warlord, and I was going to take you back into that horror.  When you saw a chance to learn from me how to kill him, you took it.  You acted as honorably as you could under the circumstances.  Then, when our love flowered, you were too inexperienced to know what else to do, so you went on with your plan.  Everything that happened after that was not your fault.  It just … happened.”  She smiled sadly. 

 

“But Xena, I deserve to suffer for all the evil I have done…”

 

“Oh, Akemi, my dear little one.”  Xena said softly.  “Don’t you see?  Just as you told me, ‘It is time for you to let your suffering go’; it is time for you to do so as well.  Don’t get into the habit of clinging to it like I did.  Go and follow the other spiritsouls and be reborn, Akemi.  That way you will forget what happened in Japa just as easily.  You have a second chance.  Don’t waste yourself floating here in the winds of Limbo.”

 

“As you were going to do, dear teacher?”  The spirit’s voice was soft.

 

“As I was going to do, before you made me see how foolish I was,” grinned the ghost.  “I have a life to get back to, not mine, maybe, but Gabrielle’s.  I owe her that.  And you owe me the favor of getting a second chance too.”  She spoke softly.  “Go, my little snow orchid.  Be reborn and let your new life blossom, as the old one should have.  Limbo doesn’t need us, and we don’t need it.”

 

“Oh, Xena,” the spiritsoul whispered.  “I love you.  Thank you, my teacher, for showing me a way out of my sorrow yet again.”

 

“Go, Akemi.”  Xena smiled.  “Go and live.  And I will go too.” 

 

“Dear teacher.”  The swirling whiteness was wistful. “Will … Will we ever meet again?”

 

“Hard to say,” the ghost warrior grinned.  “But it’s possible.  I’ve seen stranger things this time around, and the way I’ve heard it, there’s gonna be a lot more lives to live down the road.  Goodbye, Akemi; go have a good new life.”

 

“Goodbye, my beloved teacher.  I wish you the same.”

 

There seemed to be no more to say and without speaking another word, the two spirits floated away in opposite directions in the never-ending grayness and the howling wind sounded as if it were angry at losing its victims.

 

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Chapter 9

 

Gabrielle was walking through a garden full of beautiful statuary and fluted marble columns, where birds flew with splashes of fantastic color, singing lovely melodies.  There were beds of brilliant flowers sweetening the air with their perfume and the exquisite blue of the sky was just the color of her lover’s eyes.  It was all so beautiful that the bard felt tears.  “By the gods,” she murmured. “Where am I?”

 

“By the gods is the answer,” said a male voice, and she looked around to see a handsome, godlike man dressed in black armor and cape.  He was smiling.  “This is the Elysian Fields, where all heroic and good souls come when they die.”

 

“Hades?”  She said hesitantly.  “Is that you?”

 

“Yes, Gabrielle.”  The Greek god spoke in a kindly voice.  “You have earned this rest by your actions in life and now you shall be happy for eternity in this place.”

 

The bard was confused.  “But, aren’t you … dead?”  She said in bewildered tones.

 

The lord of the underworld laughed.  “But I am a god, little one!  You know gods can’t die.”

 

Something seemed wrong about this to the bard, but just then a crowd of people entered the area and joyfully, Gabrielle realized that she knew them all.  There was her great uncle Morros who had always told such fine stories and had inspired her to want to be a bard.  There was her beloved mother and father, and here came a young man called Tallus whom she had loved, and arm-in-arm with him came Perdicus whom she had married.  There was Joxer, young again and grinning like a loon, and Eli stood smiling beside him.  There were the amazons, Amarice and Ephiny and Solari and Xena’s son Solan and the centaur Kaleipus, who had raised him.  Then her daughter Hope, dressed in a green bodice and brown skirt such as the bard had used to wear came and hugged her, saying, “Oh, dear mother.  I’ve waited so long for this moment.”  And kissed her cheek.  Then all the others applauded and surged forward tearfully surrounding the bard to hug and kiss and pound her on the back and welcome her while Hades stood by smiling. 

 

Finally, after many tears and joyful embraces, the petite blond turned to the god of the underworld and said, “Hades, this is all too strange.  I know you are dead, and many of these people don’t belong here at all.  Especially Ephiny, Solari, Amarice and … and Eli!”  She pointed at the Prophet of the one God, who looked hurt.  “Well, you don’t belong here!”  She said sharply.  “And, Hope…” she swallowed, her voice softening. “You know you don’t either...” 

 

Her daughter’s face turned ugly and she hissed.  “You never DID love me, did you, mommy?  It was always that Xena, wasn’t it?  Too bad the fall into father’s pit didn’t KILL you!”

 

Gabrielle closed her eyes briefly in pain, then resolutely turned away from her daughter to the god.  “If I’m dead, even I should be either in the Amazon Eternity or in Heaven!  What’s going on, Hades?  And where IS Xena?”

 

“You want to see HER?”  He sniffed disdainfully.  “All right, THERE she is!”  He gestured upwards.

 

Gabrielle looked up and gasped as she saw a wooden cross spinning end on end coming down out of the blood red sky.  With a horrid thump, the instrument of torture landed to stand beside her and she stared up to see Xena hanging on it, iron spikes through her hands and feet pinning her to the rough wood.  The warrior was writhing in pain, and blood trickled out of her mouth.

 

“Guh-Gabrielle…” she whimpered.  “Help meeee…”

 

“Xena,” sobbed the bard, “Oh, sweetheart, no!  OH, NOOOO…” Thunder sounded above and rain began trickling down from the leaden sky.   Abruptly the rain seemed to smash down in a torrent into Gabrielle’s upturned face and down her nose and she awoke choking, with a blinding headache and a back that seemed to be on fire.  Her wrists and ankles throbbed as well. 

 

Blinking water from her eyes, she looked up into the ugly face of the ugly slaver captain she had fought to a standstill.  Tso Scorpion Mouth was holding a dripping bucket and soused her again, emptying the remainder of the water all over her body.  At this time she realized she was naked, and tried to pull in her hands to cover herself but found that her arms and legs were tied spread apart on the deck.  She felt violated by this, and could feel humiliation growing.

 

“So,” he laughed, tossing the bucket aside. “The little warrior-bitch is awake!  Good!  I want you conscious to enjoy all of this!”  He withdrew from her vision and the bard could see around her.  The traitor Merry Chan was standing nearby, grinning as he gazed lewdly down at her bare body.  Looking calmly away from him, the bard studied the situation through her pain.  Rough ropes cut into her wrists and ankles; she was tied down spread-eagled on the deck of the Sullen Dragon and naked to the eyes of all.  Looking to one side, she saw the crew of the junk with manacles and chains on their wrists, guarded by hard-eyed slavers.  All were nearly nude except for breech-clothes and she saw captain Huezwang, Melon Belly and Li-Yuan among them.  All the crew looked ill-used and most were wounded.  Nearby stood many more armed slavers.  Finally she looked back at the scorpion tattooed slaver captain.

 

“What…” she coughed water before she could continue.  “What are you doing with them?”  She inclined her head towards the junk’s crew.

 

“They will go for the auction block, of course,” Tso grinned.  “The ship and cargo we will also sell.  There is MUCH profit to be had here.”

 

“And, me?” She looked at him feigning a calmness she didn’t feel.

 

“You, I think, will never make a slave … but it will be fun trying to break you.  My men need amusement and you are comely.  Battle raises the blood, and other things…” Tso’s grin was ugly.  “You killed many of my crew.  We will use you.  If in the process you break, so much the better.  If not, afterwards, you will feed the sharks.  In the meantime, we will enjoy your screams very much indeed…” He bent down and grabbed one of her wet breasts and whispered so that only she could hear, “…And you have beaten me in battle, you whore.  I cannot afford to let you live.”  Roughly he twisted her nipple, bringing tears to her eyes and causing her to grunt with the sharp pain.  She was somehow surprised that she could feel something so slight through the other aches bludgeoning her. 

 

Captain Huezwang roared something in the dialect of Chin and tried to lunge forward.  Other guards held him and Merry Chan laughed and smashed him in the face with his sword hilt.  The blow knocked the huge captain to his knees where he swayed with blood running from his mouth.

 

Tso Scorpion Mouth smiled and his face was ugly.  “And you will be an example to them, as well!”  He unfastened his black trousers, let them fall to his ankles, stepped out of them and kicked them aside.  He was naked from the waist down except for his boots, and his manhood was erect.  He ripped off his shirt and threw it aside, and the members of his crew laughed and catcalled.  Pleased, the slaver captain strode in a circle around her, naked in his boots, smirking as he postured for them and took muscle poses.  They roared with coarse laughter and now Gabrielle realized that a line of slavers was forming behind him and that all of them had their clothing at least partly off.

 

Oh, gods.  Her mind whimpered.  She wanted to scream, to run, to hide, to vanish from sight.  She suddenly began struggling against the ropes holding her arms and legs spread out in place, but quickly found it was hopeless.  The captain stood above her with a vicious smile.  “Yesss,” he hissed.  “Fight back; try to struggle.  That will make it all the sweeter as we take you.”  Gulping in a deep breath and holding it, the bard forced herself to relax by chanting a Yogic mantra in her mind and felt the calmness sweep through her.

 

Now Tso stepped towards her, his lust and desire to hurt her clearly showing on his scorpioned face.  Gabrielle said quietly, “Whatever you may do to my body, you will not touch my soul.”

 

Seeing an uncertain frown come over his face rewarded her momentarily.  Then he snarled,  “We will see!”  He turned to his grinning, snickering crew, and pointed at Merry Chan and three other men.  “You four!  Come here!”

 

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Chapter 10

 

Xena swam through the wind-filled grayness of Limbo, following only one thought.  Gabrielle.  Her lover.  Her friend.  Her soulmate.  Her beloved.  Her hope and destiny.

 

I will find my way back to you, my dear one, she thought grimly.  I will!

 

Suddenly ahead in the swirling mist and wind, she saw something like a whirlpool of golden light and felt the smell of the sea coming from it.  Yes!  She swam towards it joyfully.  The grayness and wind seemed to pull at her, trying to keep her within them, but she fought her way through.  Dimly, she became aware that she could see herself through the mist, head down, seated in the same cross-legged position on the mast-top.  By the gods.  She had been there all along during the whole time in Limbo?  How strange.

 

She continued to swim towards herself.  The closer she got to the whirlpool, the harder the wind seemed to try to push her back and the faster the silent ghost-filled grayness whirled around her.  It was as if Limbo did not want to let her go.  No, she thought grimly.  You will not keep me here mindless and uncaring.  Gabrielle needs me and I need HER!  Nevertheless, when she had come within inches of her sitting body, she seemed to be able to get no closer, like a salmon swimming up-stream against a heavy current.  Desperately hovering, she began to feel the wind and the grayness stealing her resolve, dulling her thoughts and she was tempted to give up.

 

“NOOOO!”  She shrieked into the wind and the endless swirling gray.  “Gabrielle!  GABRIELLLLLE!”

 

At her scream, there was something like the pop of a tightly corked bottle opening.  There was a sudden shimmering in her mind and then she was on the mast top seated in the cross-legged position she had been in when the whole thing started.

 

The spirit-filled grayness and the winds of Limbo were gone and the ghost warrior sighed with relief.  “I’m back!  By the gods, what a fool I’ve been.  Without Akemi, I might never have made it back here.”

 

Now the ghost warrior looked down at the deck and saw the two ships locked together, the carnage of a fierce battle going on.  By the gods!  What’s happened?  That looks like a slaving ship.  Dammit!  How LONG was I gone?  Hours?  Days?  Weeks?  Is Gabrielle still even aboard?

 

Then as she watched, she saw her friend fighting on the junk’s main deck.  The rest of the battle raged around her, but did not touch her.  The petite woman was wielding her katana in a duel with a large man with blue tattoos on his cheeks.  The bard was merciless in her attack, and she was winning, pushing the man back step by step.  Hot damn, she’s gotten good, Xena thought proudly, that guy’s dead meat.  She looked about and frowned.  But Huezwang’s crew is over-matched.  There are about three times more of the bad guys than of them.  Gabrielle’s doing fine.  I’d better see what I can do to help the crew.  Flowing swiftly down the mast in Full Fade, Xena reached the deck and floated towards the main fighting intending to Solidify and kick some slave raider butt.

 

Suddenly, she was aware of a sense of danger.  She spun about and saw that Gabrielle had disarmed the tattooed man and was speaking to him while holding her katana at his throat.  A crewmember of the Chin junk was coming up behind the bard, but as Xena watched in horror, the man swung a tremendous two-handed sword blow at the unsuspecting bard’s back.

 

“GABRIELLE!”  Xena shrieked, but she was dematerialized in Full Fade and no one could hear her, not even her friend.  The warrior ghost tried, but could not concentrate quickly enough even to come to Partial Fade and scream a warning to her soulmate.  Even so, the bard seemed to sense something and was beginning to turn when the blow struck her low in the back.  There was a brilliant flare of soundless white light from the dragon tattoo on her back and the ones on her calves as the heavy sword struck the bard and she was knocked sprawling. 

 

“By the gods”, the warrior whimpered.  “Gabrielle.”  She was certain that the blow should have chopped her friend’s spine in two, but the small blond was rolling over painfully as the man looked with disbelief at his sword.

 

“Akemi’s dragon,” Xena whispered.  “It saved her just like it did against Yudoshi.”  There was no blood on the blade, but the petite woman did not look good and the warrior realized while the magic of the tattoo had saved her friend’s life, it had not prevented her from feeling some affects from the unexpected blow.  The traitorous crewman started forward ready to strike again, but the tattooed man behind Gabrielle swung a blow with his sword hilt at the reeling bard’s head and her tattoos flared again as she collapsed to the deck.

 

Grimly now, still in Full Fade, Xena flowed forward to her soulmate, ready to join battle with the tattooed man, but before she could concentrate to become Solid, she became aware that the fight was over.  All of the crew of the Chin junk was down either dead or captured and Gabrielle was unconscious and out of the fight.  As she watched, cursing herself for having been in Limbo all that time, the crew was swiftly put in manacles.

 

Going to Gabrielle, the warrior ghost looked down at her unconscious friend and felt her vision blur with unshed tears.  Oh, my dear one, she thought.  Look what I’ve done to you by leaving your side.

 

Xena tensed up as two of the slavers brought a rope, a hammer and four iron spikes over beside the bard, but relaxed a tiny bit as it became obvious that this was not a crucifixion.  The spikes were not meant for her friend’s hands and feet, but for the deck.  She stood by in Full Fade, watching them narrowly, ready to leap into Solid if needs be.  Meanwhile, the unconscious Gabrielle was stripped of her clothing and weapons.  Then she was spread-eagled and tied by wrists and ankles to the iron spikes that had been driven into the wooden deck. 

 

From the nasty looks of the slaving crew and their ribald conversation, Xena now knew what lay in store for her beloved friend and white-hot anger filled her for a moment before she savagely choked it off.  Still in Full Fade, the ghost flowed over to the scorpion-tattooed captain of the slavers and marked him well.  No, she thought grimly.  You won’t be doing this today you vicious bastard … and you will never EVER do it to anyone again, either.  Bleakly she flowed away from her soulmate and the preparations for her rape and humiliation.

 

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Chapter 11

 

At Tso Scorpion Mouth’s order, Merry Chan and three other men came over to where Gabrielle was tied down naked and spread-eagled on the deck.  “Yes, Cap’n?”  The man licked his lips hopefully.  “We get to go first?” 

 

The scorpion-faced man backhanded him across the mouth, and the traitor staggered to his knees, spitting out a tooth.  “Don’t forget your place, you deck rat!  I am captain!  I come first…” he grabbed his manhood before continuing. “In ALL things!” 

 

The rest of the slaver crew howled with nasty laughter as the bleeding Merry Chan swayed to his feet and whimpered,  “Yes, oh, Great One.  What are your orders?”

 

“That’s better!  Now, I wish you to free her hands!”

 

Merry Chan and the other four men looked at each other in confusion.  “But, Great Tso,” he stammered.  “I do not understand.  You want her freed?”

 

Despite herself, Gabrielle’s heart leapt for a moment, until the grinning captain spoke again.  “No, you worm-brained whoreson!  Leave her legs tied just as they are.  I wish each of you take an arm and hold her fast!  I want her to be able to move as I make her scream for my love!”

 

The men nodded, and two of them went to each of the bard’s arms.  One held her wrists as another cut the rope holding them.  The moment her hands were free of the ropes, Gabrielle immediately tried to break loose with a surge of strength.  However, two strong men now held each of her arms, and although she managed to jerk them around a little, she accomplished nothing with her struggles.  Panting, she stopped and fought for calmness once more.

 

Amid ribald cheers from the waiting slavers and shouts of helpless rage from the Chin crew, the grinning Tso began kneel between her naked and out-stretched legs.  As he did so, he stroked and pinched her thighs with rough hands and laughed.  Ignoring him as best she could, Gabrielle laid her head back with her eyes closed.  Oh, Xena, she thought.  I’ll be joining you soon, my dear one.  Then she prayed, God of Eli, take me now, or help me to be strong for this tribulation...

 

Unable to stop herself, she tensed as the slaver captain grabbed her breasts and began to come down upon her and his men laughed and whistled.  At that moment, a sultry voice cut across the turmoil like a knife.  “Whattaya want with that little girl, when you could have a REAL woman?”

 

At the voice, Gabrielle’s eyes flew open and her head came up; she said nothing, but her mind went spinning madly.  By the gods!  Xena? 

 

Meanwhile, the tattooed slaver captain had leaped to his feet from between the bard’s thighs and gaped.  Both the slavers and the captured crew of the Sullen Dragon gawked at the vision of full magnificent breasts, womanly hips and legs and swirling raven hair that was swaying towards him, and their combined intake of breath should have depleted the air for a mile around the ship. 

 

In the utter silence, Xena walked naked towards Tso Scorpion Mouth and the four men holding Gabrielle’s arms.  Her magnificent body moved fluidly and her expression seemed hungry with lust.  She stopped and stretched, arching her back, which thrust her breasts out and then pushed her hips forward showing her dark patch.  She ran her fingers through her long tresses, licking her lips.  Every man there including the prisoners stared at the vision of pulchritude she presented and gulped.  Even tied down as she was, Gabrielle felt a blush sweep across her body.  Gods, she is so beautiful, even at this moment.  Then she thought sharply, keep your eyes open ‘Brielle, this isn’t over yet.  She has a plan.  Be ready!

 

The naked slaver captain swallowed audibly and at last found his voice.  “Who … Who ARE you?”  He looked around the ship for enemies, but saw none and stared back with lust at the magnificent woman before him.  “Where did you come from?”

 

Xena seemed to undulate as she came forward to about five feet from him, then playfully bit the knuckle of her index finger and sucked on it.  “I was in the cabin resting,” she pouted, now sucking on the finger.  “Do you care?” 

 

“I guess not,” the Scorpion Mouth grinned uncertainly.  “Why have you come out now, my most large and lovely one?”

 

She cupped her breasts and then spun on her toes, her hair swirling around her in a cloud of black rain and again a groan arose from both crews.  “To show you what a real woman can do, in place of that little girl you want to play with.”  She stepped up to him and arched an eyebrow; her smile was lustful and he gulped.  “Let me show you…” She purred.  She put her arms around him and pushed tight against him, hooking a leg around his thigh.  As she did so, the whistles and catcalls from the slavers began coming again.  She brought her lips towards his and … suddenly vanished to everyone’s sight but Gabrielle’s.

 

Chapter 12

 

The rising volume of noise ceased as quickly as a blown out candle flame.  Both crews gaped at her disappearance, but Gabrielle could see and hear her Partially Faded friend perfectly.  As her face took on the impassive mask she wore during combat Xena hissed, “This is for Gabrielle, and for every other life you have ruined before this, you useless piece of shit!”  Then, her expression distasteful, she fastened her mouth to his.

 

The slaver captain’s eyes bulged and he screamed like a damned soul as the ghost’s icy touch came against his mouth and naked flesh.  He tried to run, struggled to get free from the invisible octopus of cold that was holding him in place and freezing him, but to no avail.  The ghost held him against her and he could not move other than to vibrate with pain and where her icy body touched, his skin began to turn pale with frostbite.

 

Despite knowing that the man and his crew had destroyed countless lives during his career and that he deserved everything he was getting and more, Gabrielle turned her face away from the sight of the man’s chilled flesh losing the color of life and turning white.

 

Finally when she could stand touching him no longer, Xena let him go and Tso Scorpion Mouth, fell headlong to smash unchecked to the deck, where he writhed, gurgling screams escaping through his chapped and bleeding lips.  At the same moment, the invisible warrior stepped forward to place a frigid hand each on the faces of two of the four men holding Gabrielle’s arms.  Her hands were big and covered their noses, mouths, eyes and chins.  The two men began bellowing as frost formed on their faces in the shape of a grasping hand.  Horrified, Merry Chan and the other man stared in disbelief.  The first two men dropped the bard’s arms and bolted away howling as the warrior ghost reached out and grasped the necks of Merry Chan and the other man.  They too dropped the bard’s arms and fled shrieking from this invisible terror.

 

“Get free while I stall the rest of them, Gabrielle,” Xena hissed. 

 

“Yes, sweetheart,” murmured the naked bard.  Though her heart was pounding, she schooled her voice and tried to make light of the horrid situation she had been in.  “I know I’ve told you before that we need to work on your sucky timing, and this incident has been no exception.”  She pulled herself forward to reach trembling fingers for the ropes on her ankles. 

 

Knowing full well what her soulmate was doing, Xena gulped and tried to match her wryness. “Complaints, complaints,” she growled with a grin.  “Quit'cher bitchin' an hurry up!  The dung wagon’s about to go over the cliff!”  As she turned away from Gabrielle to watch the slavers, her expression was full of fury over what had almost happened to her friend.

 

While scooting forward, Gabrielle saw a piece of clothing lying beside her on the deck and grabbed it.  It was the black shirt that Tso had been wearing.  Looking at it with distaste, the bard nevertheless pulled it on with a shudder of revulsion before beginning to work on her ankle ropes.  It covered her partly and made her feel less exposed.  As the small woman began untying the tight ropes, some of the still moaning slaver captain’s men belatedly started forward to stop her.  Suddenly the ghost solidified and appeared standing above Tso’s feebly writhing body and this time her expression was full of what appeared to be naked hunger.  She gave a bloodcurdling laugh and howled, “I am Xena, the Succubus!  I am protector of the Sullen Dragon!  Any who would harm this ship or crew, shall feel my icy touch!” 

 

The men milled about uncertainly, looking at one another, then two of them charged the 'Succubus' with spinning clubs.  Again she vanished before they got to her and both men suddenly began screaming as she grabbed them each by the crotch.  They struck wildly at the air around them with their weapons, with no affect other than one man’s wild sweep smashing into the other’s throat.  He fell rolling and choking his life away through a crushed larynx as his shrieking friend dropped the club and clapped both hands to his own freezing groin. 

 

Xena let him go and reappeared coming forward again.  “Next?”  She said pleasantly, hooking her fingers into claws as the man crawled moaning away from her. 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 13

 

The slaver crew began backing up.  It was then that one man, braver or perhaps more stupid than all the rest moved to attack her with a man-catcher.  He pushed the weapon at her so that the wooden jaws closed around her neck and shouted in triumph.  With a look of contempt, the naked warrior vanished into Partial Fade and he gaped at the empty man-catcher. Suddenly he dropped the weapon and began to emit earsplitting howls, shuddering as the invisible ghost grabbed both sides of his face in her icy grasp.  Further, she leaped up and locked her thighs around his waist with her ankles hooked behind him.  Carrying her, he staggered here and there screaming across the deck until she released him and he rolled in agony.  As she appeared again stalking towards them, the slaver crew began to panic.

 

“Leave this ship,” she screeched, raising her face to the sky.  “Leave now or I shall suck your very souls from your bodies!”  She gave a bloodcurdling laugh as she hooked her fingers into claws once again and eyed them hungrily.

 

As the men slowly backed away, the warrior vanished again before they could do more.  As she untied the last ankle rope, Gabrielle could see her Partially Faded lover run forward and began grabbing at the slaver’s crotches. One man after another would cry out, clutching at her icy hand on his privates or would simply take off running back to the slave ship at her mere touch.  The few slavers still guarding the manacled crew hesitated with indecision.

 

Now, despite the pains in her back and head, the shirt-clad bard sprang to her feet, grabbed her sai’s from the deck and charged into the guards swinging and slashing.  They tried to fight her, but then captain Huezwang and the crew of the Sullen Dragon staged a break for freedom as well.  Throwing their chains around their captor’s necks or smashing the fetters into their faces they quickly downed the few remaining guards and rushed the rest of the already panicking slaver crew.

 

As they charged forward into the fight, Gabrielle saw Merry Chan fleeing with the others to the slave ship.  “No ya don’t,” she said grimly.  She went into a series of back-flips forward and leaped into the air spinning over the traitor’s head and kicking him as she went.  The man flipped upside down with a grunt and she landed on the deck.  As she approached him, he sprang to his feet and attacked with his curved sword.  The petite warrior caught the weapon with both sai’s and twisted it out of his hands, slinging it overboard.  “Ah, ah!”  She said smiling pleasantly and raised a sardonic eyebrow.

 

Panting, his eyes wide with fear, Merry Chan jumped towards her, both hands spread to rend her.  She lithely sidestepped and tripped him as he plunged by.  Leaping to land with both knees on his staggering back, she smashed him to the deck and pinned him down.  Grasping the terrified man by the hair, she pulled his head up and spoke grimly. “Stick around.  You and I need to have a little chat later!”  She pounded the butt of a sai into his chin, knocking him out. Quickly, she wrapped a nearby rope around his wrists.  Then without a backward look, she went into another series of flips that put her into the middle of the fight where she began dealing out punishment with the sai’s.

 

Between Gabrielle, the angry Chin crew and the icy touch of ‘the Succubus’, it quickly became a full-fledged rout.  Although they still out-numbered the people of the Sullen Dragon, the frenzied slavers fled in a body.  They went leaping onto their own ship and the grappling lines that held the two vessels together were frantically cut.  As this was happening, Xena appeared solid again. 

 

“Let them go,” the Warrior Princess shouted to the junk’s crew.  “Just get them off the ship!”  Eyes wide, the crew looked at ‘the Succubus’ and hesitated.

 

“Do what she says,” shouted the bard.  “Xena knows what she’s doing!”  I hope, she thought.

 

At her words, the tired Chin sailors halted trying to stop them and let the remainder of the living slavers leap to their own ship.  The naked, muscled warrior looked about for a moment, then saw the moaning slaver captain, Tso Scorpion Mouth, trying to crawl towards his ship.

 

“Here, lemme help ya along,” she said, picking him up bodily.  The solidified ghost easily carried the struggling man to the side of the ship.  Once there she tossed him forcibly onto the other vessel, where he landed on a group of his crewmen who squalled with terror.  “And STAY off!”  She howled. 

 

Standing menacingly at the rail, hissing and waving fingers hooked like claws, the warrior ghost stayed solid, keeping an eye on the slave ship to see that no one tried to return; no one did.  On the black-hulled craft, Tso Scorpion Mouth had managed to regain his feet and was limping about, hoarsely bellowing orders.  Men were screaming and sails were billowing onboard the slave raider and the dark vessel began pulling away from the Sullen Dragon.

 

Meanwhile, Gabrielle saw one of the crewmen from the Sullen Dragon rolling in agony on the deck with blood gushing from a wounded neck.  He had tried to stop one of the fleeing slavers, and had been slashed for his troubles.  Melon Belly was trying to staunch the flow with little success.  Quickly, the bard knelt over him and pressed her hand to the artery, stopping the flow for a moment. 

 

“Get a cloth for a pressure bandage,” she shouted.  “Anything long; a sash, a strip from some pants or a shirt!  And I need a needle like you use to repair sailcloth, about this long!”  She spread her thumb and index fingers about five inches wide.  Melon Belly nodded, and scurried away. 

 

Gabrielle spoke to the crewman, “Your name is, Hsing, isn’t it?”  The man nodded weakly.  “Hsing, you are going to be all right, but you need to listen to me, do you understand?”  He nodded and she smiled.  “Good.  I am going to take my hand away and there will be blood again, but not for long.  I need you to hold still, all right?”  Again he nodded, his eyelids fluttering.

 

The bard breathed deeply, then removed her fingers from the man’s artery.  As soon as she did, blood began pumping again and Hsing moaned, but held still.  Smiling with reassurance, Gabrielle quickly struck at the pressure points in his neck that controlled the flow of blood.  Again the bleeding slowed, then ceased, but Hsing began gurgling as the paralysis affected him.  ‘You have thirty seconds to live, thirty seconds to live’ Xena’s oft spoken words went around in Gabrielle’s brain like a litany of the damned.

 

While she was working on Hsing, other crewmen were helping the few badly wounded as well.  There were not too many of these, since the slavers had been careful to try and save all of the living ‘merchandise’ they could.  Others took aside the five crewmembers who had been slain, for burial later and covered them gently with a tarp.  Still others seized some eight slavers who had been too wounded to flee with the rest, including the still unconscious Merry Chan.  They chained them with their own manacles and left them in a moaning heap next to the main mast.  As for the slaver dead, they were unceremoniously pitched over the side of the Sullen Dragon like so much rotten food, which they quickly became. 

 

In fact words about pitching the wounded slavers overboard, were bandied about by the angry crew as well, but none of the men made a move to do so.  Meanwhile, over the side, many sharks attracted by the blood of the slain, began appearing in droves and the red water began to churn as they darted in for the choicest pieces.  The sharks put the dead slavers to a better use than they had ever been in life and finally swam away bloated, leaving the surface of the water empty. 

 

Meanwhile, Gabrielle watched Hsing's life draining out of him from the affects of the pinch and called out frantically.  “Melon Belly!  I need that needle and bandage NOW…” The skinny man appeared beside her before she finished talking and handed her a red sash from one of the slavers and an iron sail needle.  “Thank you,” she whispered gratefully and he smiled. 

 

Quickly then, she pinched the sides of the wound together.  Taking a deep breath, she ran the point of the needle through the flexible skin of Hsing’s neck next to the pinched shut wound.  Twisting the point of the needle back up, she drove it through in another spot about an inch further and then left it.  Murmuring a quick prayer that the skin would not rip loose, the bard slowly released her fingers.  The sail needle held the wound closed in two places and the skin did not tear.  Quickly then, she fashioned the sash into a pressure bandage around the gasping man’s neck and tied it off, then released the blockages she had created.  Blood began to show just a tiny bit around the bandage, but nothing like before and she breathed a sigh of relief. 

 

The petite woman smiled reassuringly at Hsing.  “Yer gonna be all right.  Just lay there and try not to move for awhile.”  Weakly, he took her hand and pressed it in thanks and she patted his shoulder as he slipped in and out of consciousness.  Kneeling there she felt cold suddenly as the breeze played over her half-naked body, but tried to ignore it.  She thanked Melon Belly for his quick work, and he grinned. 

 

“I do … nothing. You … good healing,” he said and stood up going to help another crewmember with a broken arm.

 

Gabrielle remained where she was beside Hsing.  With no clothing but the shirt, she was beginning to feel exposed and kneeling seemed to help her cover herself a bit more.  She closed her eyes for a moment, as a flash of Tso Scorpion Mouth’s leering face came into her mind and her shiver was not all from the cold.  Now, Captain Huezwang came over to Gabrielle.  He had found his blue coat somewhere.  He looked compassionately at her blood spattered and partly clad body and spread his coat wide for her to put on.  The bard found her vision blurring with tears and shuddered.  She stood up and put her arms into it, then pulled the voluminous material close around her.  It hung to her ankles and she had the crazy feeling that she was in an entertainer’s tent.  As she did so, he stepped back, and bowed to her. 

 

“I sorry.  You no … crazy woman.”  He said, his face solemn and kindly.  “You are … MIGHTY warrior!”

 

Gabrielle’s eyes filled with tears and impulsively she hugged the huge man, who patted her tattooed back clumsily through the material of his coat.  She winced, for her back was still sore and said, “Thank you,” and he nodded in response.  Then, becoming aware of his bare hairy belly against her, she quickly moved back, her face pale.  The Chin captain looked embarrassed and pointedly looked away from her.  He cleared his throat then moved away and began bellowing orders to the crew about fixing the rudder.

 

Gabrielle stood for a moment, and although it was warm out, she shivered again in the huge coat.  She closed her eyes for a moment and felt the deck seem to spin as visions of Tso and the slavers waiting to rape her filled her mind.  Then with a vast effort of will, she forced the images aside and opened her eyes.  Deal with this later, she thought.  There is work to do now.  Seeing Xena standing at the railing watching the slave ship, she went towards her still solid lover.

 

 

Chapter 14

 

The limping crew of the Sullen Dragon looked at the new raven-haired addition to their ship in wonder.  Some whispered together, but they all gave both women a wide berth as they carried the wounded crewmen to more comfortable positions and took the few bloody and beaten slavers below to lock them away. 

 

Bundled in Huezwang’s coat, Gabrielle came up to where her friend was still staring out at the slave ship and touched her arm.  “Xena.”  She whispered and the naked warrior put her arms around her and pulled her tight without looking at her.  A tear ran down her cheek.

 

“Oh, Gabrielle.”  Her face was grim and her voice was strained.  “I’ve been such a selfish ass.  I’m so sorry…” 

 

“No,” the bard turned her lover’s face and silenced her with a brush of soft lips across the bigger woman’s mouth.  “It’s over.  You’re back,” then she stiffened.  “You ARE back, aren’t you?”

 

“Yes, my dear one,” Xena said, looking at her soberly.  “And I promise you this.  I will never again leave.  I know what I’ve got now ... and what I would have lost.”

 

“Oh, honey.”  The bard sobbed.  She stood on tiptoe and kissed her friend and their tears mingled.

 

Finally, clinging together and watching the slaver ship moving rapidly away, Gabrielle shuddered.  “It’s too bad we didn’t capture them.  Now others will suffer when they raid again.”  In her mind the images of Tso came crashing back.  Her ears sang suddenly.  She felt his rough hands on her breasts and blackness began trying to close in around her.  NO!  The petite woman shoved the images away again.

 

“There were still many more of them than the Sullen Dragon’s crew,” Xena said softly, watching her soulmate.  “If captured, they would have to be fed and guarded.  All it would take was one mistake and they could have overwhelmed the crew some night and the whole thing could have happened again.”

 

“I know,” whispered the bard.  “Still it’s too bad they got away.”  She blinked, for it seemed like her vision was turning black around the edges.  It was almost as if she was looking through a Farseeing tube, or out of a tunnel.

 

“They didn’t,” said the warrior harshly and her voice was like the knell of doom.  It brought everything back into sharp focus for the bard.

 

Gabrielle stared up at her friend, and the warrior grimly pointed over the railing.  The bard followed her friend’s arm and a small noise escaped her.  “By the gods,” she whispered and her voice was a rasp.  “They’re coming back.”  The warrior said nothing, but kept her gaze fixed on the enemy vessel.

 

At that moment, captain Huezwang’s bellow from the poop deck brought the entire crew’s attention to the slave ship.  Men ran to the side of the Sullen Dragon, and their expressions turned hopeless.  The black-hulled ship was sailing right at the side of the still crippled Chin junk, as if on a ramming course.

 

Gabrielle stared at the black ship headed their way and fear grabbed hold of her like a physical thing.  She shuddered as the horrid images of Tso and the slavers spun through her mind again. 

 

NO!  Please, NOOO! 

 

She took hold of herself yet again and forced the fear back.  She felt icy-cold and pulled the captain’s coat tight around her.  Taking a deep breath, she looked at her soulmate.  “Xe-Xena, I guess they didn’t buy your succubus act.”  She glanced at the pitiful remainder of the junk’s crew who were able to fight; perhaps twelve tired and wounded men besides the two women and captain Huezwang.  “Oh, g-gods.”  Her voice quavered of its own volition.  “T-There are too many of them.  We’ll never out-fight them a second time, even w-with your help.”

 

“You planning to surrender?”  The warrior ghost’s voice was quiet as she watched her soulmate carefully.

 

A flash of anger shot through the small woman and shoved the fear aside.  “NEVER!”  She bared her teeth.  “I will die and go to Tartarus for eternity before I surrender to those scum.”  She turned to the hopelessly staring Chin crew at the rail.  “Get your weapons,” she shouted in a voice like steel. “Get ready to FIGHT!”

 

They looked at her dazedly, as if they did not comprehend her words.  Then Melon Belly nodded grimly and limped over to get a sword from the deck.  In moments, the rest of the small crew had staggered to their weapons as well and came back to stand at the rail.  The bard looked at them with tears of pride in her eyes, then grinned.  “We will FIGHT!” She shouted, waving her sai’s.  “Show these motherless, fatherless bastards that they cannot tame us!  We’re gonna kill ‘em ALL!”  The men looked back at her and cheered, and their faces showed their resolve.

 

Xena looked at her soulmate and her expression was full of devotion.  “Sweetheart,” she whispered, “I LOVE you!  And I’ve never been prouder of you than I am right now.”

 

Trembling, Gabrielle hugged her.  “Oh, honey, hold me,” she gasped.  “I’m so scared I’m afraid I won’t be able to stand up.  Wh-What if all these men die or are taken as slaves because of me … Oh, gods.  M-Maybe I should just let Tso and his bastards have their way with me, if he would spare these men…”

 

“He wouldn’t,” Xena said harshly.  “I know his kind too well.  They would rape and kill you and still enslave or murder this whole crew.”

 

The petite warrior smiled through brimming eyes and her voice trembled with love.  “Then it looks like I’ll be joining you today after all, my sweet warrior.”  She put her hand behind the raven head and pulled her soulmate down to meet her soft lips.  The living and the ghostly kissed for a long moment and then looked deep into one another’s eyes.  Tears ran down the bard’s face and there was a lump in her throat. “Xena, w-whatever happens today, as long as I can be with you in the end, none of the rest truly matters.”

 

“Thank you, my dear one,” the warrior whispered with love as she pulled her soulmate’s head against her chest and rested her chin on the short blond hair.  “And yer right.  No matter what you do or what happens to you, I LOVE you.  But you won’t be dying today.”  Her steel-blue eyes narrowed as they went back to the ship plunging towards them and her face was grim.  “Come on,” she muttered.  “Come on.  Right about now…”

 

The bard looked up, her green eyes puzzled.  “Xena?  Wh-What do you mean?” 

 

"I mean that dead men can't hurt anyone anymore," Xena said bleakly as she stared at the oncoming slave ship.

 

Gabrielle started to speak, then chilling shouts from across the water drew her attention.  She saw Tso Scorpion Mouth and many men standing at the bow of the ship, waving weapons and shouting.  The bard thought she could make out the tattooed man’s bull voice, roaring over the others, “Kill you!  Torture you!  Rape you!  Make you beg for death!  Kill you ALLLLLLL!” 

 

Despite herself, the blond shuddered and the terror of her experience came crashing back into her mind.  “Oh, gods, oh, gods, oh, godssss…” she whimpered and the warrior shook her.

 

"GABRIELLE!  It's all right, honey!  They can't hurt you or anyone ever again, because..." At that moment, another shout from captain Huezwang drew both their attentions back to the slave raider plunging to ram them.

 

At first the terrified bard saw nothing.  Then she thought she could see a faint plume of smoke drifting from the charging ship, now only fifty yards away.  Smoke?  What in Tartarus?  She pulled at her friend's arm. "XENA!  What did you mean, 'They can't hurt anyone again?'"

 

"What?  Oh, it's because I...” Xena’s words were literally blown out of her mouth by a noise like the end of the world.  The crew of the Sullen Dragon were knocked sprawling on the deck as a tremendous explosion and sheets of flame leapt up from the nearby slaver ship and they felt the fierce heat scorch into them as if they were facing an open blast furnace.  When they dared look again through heat-stinging eyes, they saw that the sleek, racing, predator of the sea had been suddenly turned into a bobbing charnel house of fiery death. 

 

Squinting through heat blurred eyes at the slaver vessel, Gabrielle saw Tso Scorpion Mouth, his hair on fire and his skin blistering off, leap shrieking into the sea, followed by dozens of his men who looked like burning torches.  Meanwhile, the sails went up with a roar, the masts fell in and flames consumed the craft and all its dead company like a ravenous Genii of fire gobbling a vast meal.  Part of her bottom must have been blown out, for the bow of the vessel suddenly plunged into the water like a hungry pig nosing in a trough and began grunting and rumbling its way beneath the surface amidst clouds of smoke and steam.  In minutes what remained of the ship was gone under the boiling water, the fierce suction pulling many floating slavers under with it. 

 

Now only a few burned and floundering men were left on the surface, but even now they were not safe for the still circling sharks began darting in.  Many of the crew of the Sullen Dragon turned away retching, but Gabrielle watched it all in seeming calm.  The bard's face was expressionless but her eyes were bright and Xena gazed grimly at her friend.

 

Now the sea was clear of bodies, except for Tso.  As the Scorpion-faced man made feeble swimming movements, moaning in pain and terror, a small Hammerhead shark seized his leg and began to worry it.  Screaming, Tso struck at the creature, flailing and kicking.  Discouraged, the small shark swam away, but in turn, Tso's movements attracted two larger sharks, a Tiger and a Great White.  One stuck at his arm and bit deep into his shoulder and chest, while at the same moment the other grabbed a leg.  With hardly a groan, Tso, known as the Scorpion Mouth, was torn asunder and vanished beneath the red churning waves. 

 

Now, only a fast dissipating cloud of steam and a few bits of smoldering flotsam remained on the surface to show where the once sleek raiding vessel had been.

 

Unable to turn away, the people aboard the Sullen Dragon watched entranced as the spectacle of violent death finally ended.  Then they looked at one another and shuddered.

 

Chapter 15

 

Gabrielle closed her eyes at last and laid her head on the rail.  She was silent for a long moment, then as the ghost touched her shoulder, she opened her eyes and a tear ran unnoticed down her cheek.  She looked up at her tall friend.  “Xena.”  Her voice was raspy, and she cleared her throat.  “What were you starting to tell me before?”

 

"About what I hoped was gonna happen on the slaver ship … and just did."  The warrior sighed.  "Sorry.  I should'a told you sooner, but I was so caught up in what was happening..."

 

"I don't care about that...” Gabrielle said quietly.  "Just tell me ... how did you know it would happen?"

 

“Well, I didn't know for certain, but I was pretty sure.  It's like this,” the ghost sighed.  "I had only just gotten back here to the ship from Limbo, saw the fight and was gonna join in, when I saw you go down…” She cleared her throat.  “Then the crew were all captured and I knew there was only gonna be one chance.  I had to make the slavers all get off of our ship, leaving you and our crew behind.  I knew I could do that with my ‘succubus’ act, but I also knew that once they were on their own vessel, they might get brave again and there were not enough of us to stop them if they came back.”

 

The warrior looked grim.  “I had to make certain that wouldn’t happen, so I paid a quick visit over there before I staged my little strip show.  I was gonna start a fire in the hold, but I had to see if there were any slaves being held below.  There weren’t, but it worked out even better than I had hoped.  I thought I would have to get some cargo or bedding together to burn in the hold, but they had a couple of barrels of fire oil and a small keg of that black explosive powder from Chin down there.” 

 

Xena grimaced.  “That made it simple.  I became solid and tipped over a fire oil barrel, knocked the bung partly out and let it begin to empty.  Then I moved the explosive powder keg and led a trail of the stuff from it for about fifteen feet and set the keg in it.  I took a lit candle from a lantern, broke it off short and put it standing in the other end of the powder trail.”  She shrugged.  “Either the candle would burn down to the powder or the ship’s motion would knock it over and the powder would catch fire.  Whichever happened, the result would be the same…”

 

“Execution.”  Whispered the bard.

 

“Yes,” said the warrior ghost harshly.  “And no better than any of those filthy slave hunting bastards deserved.  And they will never again have the chance to torture anyone else.  That was the promise I made myself when I saw what they were going to do to you.  So I played judge, jury and executioner, and I have no regrets at all.”  But her voice caught, and a tear ran down her cheek as she looked at the bard and her blue eyes were pained.  Gabrielle gently wiped the tear away before speaking.

 

“Xena,” Gabrielle’s voice was hard where her touch had been soft.  “They aren’t worth worrying about.  Every one of them chose to live his life without mercy.  Chose to hurt and hate others instead of helping and healing, or at the very least living inoffensively to the rest of the world.  They ruined life after life that they touched and caused misery everywhere they went, just like Gurkhan did to my sister Lila and her husband and my mom and dad and my niece Sarah.  Killing those scum was like killing a wild animal or a poisonous hydra before they bit you.”  She looked bleak. “They condemned themselves to death by their actions today alone, if at no other time in their foul lives.  They knew it.  The whole crew of this ship knows it.  You know it.  And I know it.  They dealt in murder and misery and no magistrate or jury would say that they didn’t get what they deserved.”

 

“Gabrielle, I love you…” The warrior whispered, kissing her friends short blond hair. 

 

The small woman held her tight and laid her face on the warrior’s muscled shoulder.  “Oh, sweetheart, I love you too.  Welcome home.”

 

At that moment, there was a cough behind them and the two lovers turned to see captain Huezwang standing there.  Xena arched an eyebrow at him.  The big Chin captain cleared his throat again, then spoke hesitantly to Xena.  “Who you are?  You who have … save my ship and men?”  He looked at the bard.

 

“This is my friend, Xena.” Gabrielle said proudly.  “She’s a ghost!  She was the one I was looking for that night I was drunk.”

 

“Drunk? You, Gabrielle?”  The warrior looked at her friend in disbelief, and the bard shrugged, suddenly feeling tired.

 

“Ghost?” Huezwang flinched.  His eyes widened.  “You are … the dead walking?”  He drew back a step.

 

“Hey, she’s a friendly ghost,” said the petite blond sharply.  “She saved us, d-didn’t she?” Then she giggled slightly.  What was that, she thought wildly.  Am I hysterical?  She felt Xena’s eyes on her and shrugged her shoulders again. 

 

The Chin captain sucked his lip, looked the naked warrior up and down and blushed.  “Truly, she looks … um, VERY friendly,” he choked, fixing his eyes firmly on her face.

 

The raven-haired ghostly woman held out her hand.  “Like she said, my name is Xena.” 

 

He looked at her doubtfully.  “Is … is it safely to … touch you?”  He asked.

 

“Long as you can see me, yer safe,” she smiled.

 

“I have never … shooken a … ghost hand before.”  He put his large hand firmly in hers and looked relieved when he found it to feel normal.  “It does not matter.  You save us.  We in your … debt, now and always…”

 

“And I’m in yours,” Xena said sincerely.  “I saw you trying to help my friend when those bastards had her … tied down.”  She swallowed.  “And I THANK you from the bottom of my heart.”

 

Gabrielle clung to her friend, just wishing the conversation was over.  She felt the desire to just sit down and rest and swayed slightly.  Ever alert, Xena's arm went tight around her and she leaned into the big woman gratefully. 

 

Meanwhile, Huezwang bowed.  “You friendly ghost … be welcome on my ship … you and your … not crazy friend.”  He smiled, bowed again and turned away.  When he did so, he saw a group of his men watching the three of them with rapt attention and bellowed in the Chin dialect.  The crewmen quickly went back to their work, but they kept shooting glances at the tall woman as they did.  He sighed and turned around again.  His voice was pleading.  “PLEASE?  You ghost … put on … clothes, yes?  My men … no can work with …  naked woman to see.”

 

Xena barked out a short laugh and tired as she was, Gabrielle couldn’t help but giggle at the pleading in his voice. 

 

“I promise,” the warrior grinned.  “No more nakedness.”  She vanished quickly, and reappeared wearing boots, armor and sword once more.

 

Huezwang jumped as she did so and Gabrielle’s giggle became a full-bellied laugh.  At this, Xena and the captain looked at her strangely and she laughed even harder at their expressions. 

 

The warrior said, “Gabrielle?”  Her voice was worried. 

 

The bard looked at them and sniggered, pointing at their faces.  “No more … naked … ness!  Xena!  Yer … a riot…” She broke up, howling with laughter till tears ran down her face.

 

Huezwang started to say something and Xena shoved a hand at him.  “Gabrielle,” she said sharply.  “Get a hold of yourself…”

 

The bard paid no attention.  “No more nakedness?  I’m naked under this-this merchant’s tent!”  She gasped, giggling and sniggering, grasping at the folds of Huezwang’s coat.  “Doncha see?  We-We’re ALL naked ALL THE TIME when you strip it all the way…” Then her head spun and she stopped laughing as she sagged drunkenly against her friend.  “X-Xena?  I-I feel … c-cold…” 

 

Worried, the ghost held her straight and said, “Gabrielle?  Honey, let’s get you to the cabin…”

 

“I … I feel … Oh, GODS!  Dahak!  Th-The altar!”  The petite blond looked around wildly, clutching at the coat.  “Oh, Xena!!  Y-You weren’t there … Krafstar, M-Meridian ... they, they...” Suddenly tears poured down her face in torrents and the bard began to sink to her knees.  She would have if the warrior had not grabbed her.  She had been running on adrenaline and fear ever since the battle had begun and the shock of her nightmarish experience was finally starting to set in.  She couldn’t hold it off any more, wailing and beating Xena’s chest with her fists.  She sobbed, “Where were you, where were you, where were youuuuu…”

 

Blinking back her own tears, Xena caught her friend in strong arms and picked her up bodily.  Tenderly, she held Gabrielle as the bard sobbed against her and her fists continued to thump on the big woman’s chest.  At these actions, the warrior’s mind seemed to flicker and she felt the beginning of a Fade coming on.  Concentrate, damn you! CONCENTRATE!  She thought grimly.  Stay SOLID, Xena!  Now’s no time to Fade!  She NEEDS you!  Calling on all of Lao Ma’s training, the ghost managed to stay solid and relief flooded through her.

 

“I gotcha, I gotcha … I-I’m here now, honey.  They … He can’t hurt you now,” Xena whispered in a choked voice.  Continuing to croon words of endearment and comfort, she carried the weeping bard past the captain and crewmen towards the cabin.

 

The large Chin captain watched as the two vanished down the companionway to the cabin and sadness touched his eyes.  “You small warrior, I pray gods you be well,” he murmured, shaking his head.  Then he sighed and went on to the poop deck to see how work on the rudder was progressing.

 

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Chapter 16

 

Once in the cabin with her burden, Xena looked grimly at the rope mesh hammock in exasperation, then shook her head.  It would not provide the comfort her friend needed right now.   She sat Gabrielle on the floor, where the bard pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them with her head buried between them and shivering.  Hurriedly, the warrior ghost lit the oil lamp, closed the door and bolted it.  She went to the hammock and got the bard’s blanket from it and wrapped it over the trembling shoulders and Gabrielle pulled it over her head before clasping her knees again. 

 

Xena looked at the ball of suffering that was her dearest friend and felt fierce anger rising.  Then with an effort, she took hold of her emotions, knelt and spoke.  “Stay here for a minute, honey.  I need to get some things.”

 

“D-Don’t l-leave me… p-please!” Gabrielle whimpered from under the blanket.

 

The warrior’s face was a grimace of fury, but her voice showed none of it.  “I’m not going anywhere, my love.  I’ll be right here.  I just need to get some stuff out of your bags.”  She went to the supply bag and opened it.  Xena’s hand struck something hard and round inside and she pulled out the black funeral urn containing her ashes.  With a grimace of distaste she set it aside and continued rummaging till she found the packets of herbs she wanted.  She mixed them into some water in a small vial and shook it vigorously.  Then she pulled the bard’s bedroll over beside her friend and began opening it out.

 

“X-Xena…” The bard’s voice was muffled and choked from beneath the blanket.  “Wh-Where are you?”

 

“I’m here, my dear one.  Just a minute,” she said tenderly as she spread the blankets out on the floor next to the bard.  She doubled two for thickness and put the third on top and ready to fold over.  Then lifting the blanket from Gabrielle’s face, she held the vial to the bard’s lips.  “Here, my darling.  Drink this.  It will help.”

 

Dazedly, the bard drank some of the liquid, then grimaced.  “S’bitter...” she complained.  “Wh-What is it?”

 

“I know it tastes bad, honey, but it will help you relax and sleep,” Xena whispered, “so drink it all.”  After the bard finished the vial, the raven-haired ghost set it aside.  The she took her soulmate’s hands and tugged her to the makeshift bed.  “Come on, sweetheart,” she coaxed, “let’s get you warm.”

 

Gabrielle let herself be led and crawled to lay with her head in the warrior’s lap.  She pulled her legs up to her chest almost automatically.  She put her arms around the warrior’s knees, shivering as Xena covered her with the blanket and held her, gently stroking her hair.  “S-S-Sorry to be s-such a w-wimp…” the bard whispered, as she held tightly to her big friend.

 

“You are not a wimp,” Xena said softly, continuing to stroke her.  “You have every reason in the world to be this way right now.  What you went through today would be enough to give anyone the shakes.”

 

“I-I hate feeling this way…” Gabrielle mumbled.  “Y-You’d think after D-Dahak got through with me in B-Britannia … I-I wouldn’t g-get this upset over a little exposure … th-these guys d-didn’t even get to … to…” She buried her face in Xena’s lap and shook as she sobbed again clutching her friend tightly around the waist.  The warrior clenched her teeth and held her soulmate in strong arms as the bard wailed anew.

 

You were naked and vulnerable, Xena thought bleakly. You were exposed to the world and almost … almost… She swallowed thickly as visions of what could have happened to her friend pummeled her.  Oh, by the gods, Gabrielle.  I wish it had been me instead.  Those dirty bastards got everything they deserved when they burned alive and drowned or were eaten, but I still want them to suffer.  I wish they were here so that I could CASTRATE each and every one of them, then cut off their lousy pricks and stuff ‘em down their gasping, dying throats! 

 

Silent tears running down her face, she whispered as she continued to stroke her sobbing friend’s hair.  “Its all right, my dear one.  It’s all right.  I’m here and I love you.  I killed them all and they cannot hurt you anymore.  They can never hurt you or anyone else ever again.  Sleep now sweetheart, sleep now…”

 

After a time, due both to the drug and to exhaustion, the bard’s tears quieted and she fell asleep in her warrior’s arms.  When she was certain that the bard was soundly asleep, Xena eased herself free and laid her worn out friend on the blanket and managed to cover her securely before she suddenly vanished into Full Fade.  By the gods, she thought with amazement.  I think I was getting … tired.  I can’t believe it.  I didn’t think a ghost COULD get tired.  She frowned to herself.  But then again, I never tried to stay solid for this long at one time before.  I suppose it makes some kind of weird sense somehow.  Well, anyway, this feels better.  Or, actually, since I can’t feel ANYTHING in this state, I guess it feels like … nothing. 

 

She looked down at the petite woman, and pain flooded through her.  “Nothing like this must ever happen again because of me,” the Faded ghost said bleakly to herself.  “Never again, Gabrielle.  I will never, EVER leave you for any reason whatsoever, be it my stinking pride, sadness, fury, Heaven or Tartarus.  This I swear to you upon all my future lives to be, my dear bard.  I swear it upon my immortal soul!  I will never again leave you, so help me any gods that may be listening!” 

 

Upon speaking these words, the warrior felt almost a physical bonding with her friend that filled her with love and commitment and she seemed to shake in a transport of joy.  After it was over, Xena looked down at Gabrielle and gulped.  That was weird, she thought shakily.  That seemed almost like … something magical really happened; like I am bound to her even closer now.  Slowly she smiled.  Well, if it did, so much the better.  I meant every damn word of it.  Then hovering beside her sleeping friend, the vigilant ghost watched her and waited through the long hours till dawn.

 

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Chapter 17

 

Gabrielle twitched, yawned and rolled over.  There was a clunk as her knee hit something hard and she grunted in pain, still half asleep.  Rubbing her knee, her hand encountered a rough wooden surface and she frowned without opening her eyes.  “What the heck … did I fall outa th’ hammock?” 

 

Feeling around she realized that she was partly on a pile of blankets and partly on a hard wood surface.  Opening her eyes, she saw that she was on the deck of her cabin.  She had been lying on her bedroll and when she had turned over, her knee had banged against the rough deck floor.  Blinking, she sat up confusedly looking around.  She saw her supplies, the saddle and her scroll bag in the corner.  Next to them, the katana, sai’s and chakram were there as well.

 

Had it all been a bad dream then; her quarrel with Xena, the warrior leaving, the two weeks of worry, the attack by the slaver ship, the battle that she had lost?  Gabrielle shivered suddenly as she recalled Tso Scorpion Mouth’s hands on her breasts.  No!  That was a … a nightmare … wasn’t it?  Her wrists ached suddenly and she looked at them.  There were faint reddened marks of ropes around them and they were sticking out of large voluminous blue sleeves with red flowers trimming the edges.  She glanced down and realized she was swathed in the blue material that covered her like a tent.  Is this Huezwang’s coat?  I remember him wrapping it around me.  By the gods.  It HADN’T been a dream.  She began to shudder with remembered terror and she felt her heart speed up.  She wrapped her arms around her head and gulped, feeling nauseous. 

Think, ‘Brielle, think.  I-I was raped? 

N-No, that’s not right … I was almost raped.  Relief flooded in. 

I WASN’T raped!

But … why wasn’t I?  What stopped them?

XENA!!  She came BACK!  She raised her head and stared at the oil lamp rocking gently on its gimbals.

 

It all came crashing back then, the fight, the treacherous blow to her back, her near rape by Tso and his crew, Xena’s return.  Then the slavers fleeing, her knocking out Merry Chan, the slavers ship exploding into fire and sinking with all hands.

 

Xena’s voice came back to her.  “Not today; never again.  I killed them all and they cannot hurt you anymore…”

 

A sudden vision of Tso's burned face as his body was ripped to pieces by the sharks flashed through her mind and she shuddered.  They’re … Dead?  Yes!  They’re ALL dead!  At this thought, an overwhelming relief suddenly flowed over Gabrielle and she swayed with a giddy release of fear and anger that she hadn’t known was within her.  I ought to feel some remorse, she thought with wonder and a certain revulsion, but by the gods!  I’m GLAD they’re dead.

 

Then a thought struck her and she opened the coat.  When she saw that she was still wearing Tso's black shirt under Huezwang's coat, she swallowed and only with difficulty managed to keep her gorge down.  Trembling with disgust, she pulled off the captain's coat and yanked the black shirt off of her as if it were crawling with vermin.  Looking about hurriedly, she balled it up and threw it into the waste bucket.  For a moment, she sat there, cold and trembling.  Then almost before she realized what was happening, she felt her mouth fill with bile and managed to crawl naked to the waste bucket before she vomited into it copiously.  Finally, shivering, she took up a water-skin, washed out her mouth and pulled the kindly captain's coat over herself again, wrapping it tightly around her.  Running a hand through her short hair, she half collapsed on her bedroll and sat with knees drawn up and her head in her hands for a time as she fought with her feelings of revulsion and anger. 

 

Sitting there, Gabrielle gradually became aware of how much she hurt; especially low in her back where Merry Chan had struck her.  She felt many other muscle strains from all the backflips and fast movements she had been making during the fighting, or the struggling to get free from the ropes.  The discomfort finally forced her to her feet.  Standing up shakily, she felt stiff all over and her lower back ached dully.  Her wrists and ankles felt roughened and stinging where the ropes had been as well.  With difficulty in the capacious coat, she attempted a few stretches to loosen the kinks and grunted at the new pains that surfaced.  Despite this, she persisted and gradually became aware that the kinks were working out and that she felt somewhat better.  She stretched her arms above her head and smiled for the first time.  Gods, I think I feel a bit better, at least physically, she thought with wonder.

 

As she thought this, a voice spoke.  “Hello, sweetheart.  How are you feeling this afternoon?  A bit stiff?”  She looked around to see Xena’s leather clad form shimmering into sight behind her.

 

“Xena!”  She cried gladly and hugged the solidified ghost to her, laying her head on the muscled shoulder.

 

Tenderly the warrior hugged her back.  “Oh, my dear one,” the ghost whispered.  “I’m so glad you’re feeling better.”  She held the bard away and looked into her green eyes.  “You are better, right?”

 

Gabrielle looked up at her, and her eyes shone.  “Some better,” she admitted, “I’m s-still a bit … shaky over what … happened.”  She gulped.  “B-But I’ve been through … worse, right?”

 

Xena said nothing, but her eyes filled and she put her arms tightly around her friend and the small woman hugged her back with a fierceness that she hadn’t expected.  They stayed that way for long moments, until Gabrielle looked up.  “Xena, did you say it was afternoon?  How long was I out?”

 

“Since I brought you here late yesterday afternoon.  It’s sometime after noon now.”

 

The bard digested that.  “I thought I felt a bit … hungry.”  Then she wrinkled her nose.  “Eww.  What’s that smell?”

 

Xena smiled.  “Well, I wasn’t going to mention it, dear one, but since you brought up the subject, um, yes.  You ARE a bit whiff…”

 

“It …It’s ME?”  The bard lowered her nose and sniffed under her own arm, then blanched.  “It IS me!  Oh, geeze, Xena.  And yer holding onto me?”

 

Continuing to hold her, Xena kissed her forehead.  “Well, I like holding onto you, and it’s not like you don’t have an excuse, sweetheart.”

 

“Gods, you feel good, but I really want to get cleaned up,” Gabrielle whispered.  “I stink of sweat and fear and I think there’s blood all over me from the battle, too…”

 

“I understand,” smiled the warrior ghost.  “One good thing about being, uh, like I am … I’ll never get B.O.  Want me to give you a hand with the hard to reach spots?”

 

Gabrielle started to say yes, but hesitated as a shiver abruptly passed over her.  She seemd to feel rough hands on her breasts and suddenly the thought of someone else touching her naked body seemed abhorrent.  But this is XENA, my best friend, my soulmate, my LOVER, dammit, she thought almost angrily.  ‘Brielle, what’s the matter with you?  She saw the warrior watching her closely.  Embarrassed she started, “X-Xena, I…”

 

The warrior ghost sighed and spoke softly.  “It’s all right, Gabrielle.  I understand.  I really do.”  She closed her eyes briefly; when she opened them, they shone with tears.  “I know what it’s like to feel helpless.  Maybe not quite like you do, but I do know.  It may take you some time to get over this, but we HAVE time, my dear one.  We have time.”

 

“Thank you, sweetheart,” the bard whispered.  “I do love you, you know.”

 

“I know you do.  Remember, Gabrielle, what Tso tried to do to you  … yesterday, wasn’t about love or even about sex.  It was about control and pain.”  The ghost looked bleak.  “Contrary to what many believe, rape is NOT about sex.  It’s about control.  Rape is intended to degrade a person and the sex is just the weapon used since it makes one feel the most vulnerable, the most betrayed and leaves one battered to the very soul.  It rips out trust from the human depths and it is that trust which is the hardest to get back.”  Xena’s eyes were cold. “Most victims of rape find any manner of physical closeness difficult for a while, even with their loved ones ... at first anyway.  Remember how we were, right after that bastard Dahak…” she stopped as Gabrielle paled, then went on unhappily.  “Listen to me, asking if you remember how it was...”

 

The bard stood on tiptoe and brushed her lips against the ghost’s before speaking.  “Xena, thank you.  I know you’re trying to help and that’s all that counts.  You know I love you for it.”  She pulled back.  “Gods, I can’t STAND the smell of myself.  I’ve gotta wash!”

 

Chapter 18

 

Gabrielle got the wash bucket from the corner and some soap and a sponge from her supplies.  As she sat the bucket down, some sloshed out on her feet and she shivered.  “Geeze, this water’s cold.”  Then she looked thoughtful and spoke.  “Xena?”

 

“Mmm?”  The ghost was pensive.

 

Holding the sponge, the small woman looked puzzled.  “When you’re in Solid, you always feel normal, warm and like … like normal.”

 

“Yeah, so?”

 

“Well, when you’re in Partial Fade, you have always felt shivery cool, but your hands have never been as icy as they seemed to be when you were attacking the slavers.  Those guys were getting frostbitten!  How did you manage that?”

 

Xena smiled.  “I wondered if you would think of that.  Well, you know that when I’m in Solid, I can do anything that a normal person can, but nothing else other than to go to Partial Fade or Full Fade.  Solid is HARD to manage because I have to really concentrate.  In Full Fade no one can see, hear or feel me, except another ghost.  It’s when I go to Partial Fade that only you can see and hear me, and I can’t pick up anything, although I can make anyone feel my touch.”  The warrior ghost pursed her lips.  “Thinking how to save you, I had an idea, and it worked.  I used a variation of Lao Ma’s focusing techniques, sort of like when I freed myself from Ming Tein’s torturer in Chin, and when I…” she looked uncomfortable, “…you know, turned those guys to stone later.”  She reflected for a moment.  “To do it, I thought about my whole body being cold as ice water, or frigid as a glacier.  It takes concentration, but I’m in Partial Fade when I do it, so I don’t feel any different and it’s not quite as hard.”

 

“I see,” the bard nodded soaping up the sponge.  “Seems to make sense.”  She started to take off the coat, but then threw an embarrassed look at the ghost.

 

“Do you want me to leave?”  Xena’s voice was gentle.

 

“Dammit,” groaned the bard.  “NO!  I do NOT want you to leave.  You and I have been naked plenty of times together.  I am NOT gonna let this lick me, ‘cause if I do, even though he’s dead, Tso wins!”  Her voice was harsh.  “I will NOT let a god’s-be-damned dead bastard who is currently giving a shark indigestion, do this to me!”  With an angry gesture, she pulled off Huezwang’s blue coat and tossed it aside.

 

The warrior said nothing, but watched her partner with love and pride.

 

As she began to wash the blood and grime from her arms, the bard shivered a bit.  “Eeks, this feels good, but I sure wish this water was a bit warmer,” she grumbled as goose bumps began appearing on her naked skin.

 

At these words, the warrior seemed to start.  “Hmmm.  Gabrielle, wait a second,” she said.  “Let me try something…”

 

As the bard watched curiously, the warrior ghost went into Partial Fade, then stuck her hands into the bucket of water. 

 

“But I don’t want it colder,” the bard protested.

 

“Shhh,” Xena grimaced. “This is … tricky.”  She closed her eyes in concentration and her brows furrowed. 

 

For long moments, Gabrielle could see nothing happening, then she began to see faint steam arising and a few small bubbles rose to the surface of the water.  Intrigued, she touched a finger to the gently bubbling liquid.  “Xena,” she gasped.  “It … It’s getting WARM!”

 

The warrior opened her eyes and took her hands from the water.  She looked a bit tired, but smiled.  “That took a little more effort than I thought it would … but let’s try this again,” she said, concentrating to become solid once more.  She dipped the sponge in the water, and smiled broadly.  “Here ya go, my sweet.”

 

Gabrielle took the dripping sponge and was amazed to find it warm.  “Oh, yessss,” she whispered in bliss as she began to wash her front.  “Oh, honey, that’s great.  Talk about convenience,” she giggled, “I have my own little warrior hot-water-heater.”

 

“My pleasure,” Xena smiled lovingly. 

 

Gabrielle washed herself all over the front and sides, including her short blond hair.  Then she began trying to reach her back, but there were some spots she just could not reach.  Finally she groaned.  “Xena? Could you…”

 

“Are you sure, honey?”  The warrior spoke softly.

 

“Yes, I-I’ve gotta get CLEAN … I can’t STAND thinking I haven’t washed all over.”  The bard sounded almost desperate.

 

Silently Xena took the soapy sponge and softly touched Gabrielle’s back with it.  The petite woman jumped and seemed to stiffen.  But before Xena could speak, her lover forced herself to relax with a shudder and spoke through clenched teeth.  “Go ahead.  Please.”

 

Awed at the bard’s strength of will, Xena felt tears brimming in her eyes as she began washing her partner’s back.  Gods, how I love you, she thought adoringly.  As she moved the sponge over the tattooed, muscular back, she touched the spot where Merry Chan had struck her soulmate and commented, “There’s a fine big bruise back here, but that’s the least of your problems.  Thank the gods for Akemi’s dragon.”  Softly, she put the soapy-warm sponge gently to the spot, and held it there for long moments while her friend sighed with contentment at the comforting warmth.

 

Finally Gabrielle spoke.  “That’s the second time this thing has saved me then,” she said, looking over her shoulder trying to see the tattoo; as usual she could not.  Stretching like a cat as Xena continued scrubbing her back, buttocks and legs, she closed her green eyes and sighed.  Finally rinsed off and clean once more, the petite woman pulled on a warm robe of Egyptian cotton from her supply sack.  Barefoot and wrapped in the voluminous white robe, the petite woman looked somehow even smaller and more vulnerable than usual.  “Thanks sweetheart,” she smiled.  “That felt great, and the warmth was wonderful.  I’m sorry I never met Lao Ma.  Those focusing techniques of hers are amazing.”

 

A corner of Xena’s mouth was up.  “No charge, my dear one.  You know I love touching you in any way I can.”

 

The soulmates looked at one another for a long moment, and then Gabrielle whispered.  “It’s so GOOD to have you back.”  She touched her friend’s arm, fingers stroking gently.

 

“You don’t know how good it is to BE back,” the warrior said with a grin.  “By the way, speaking of Lao Ma’s focusing techniques, Akemi sends her best … it was actually her that reminded me of them.”

 

Gabrielle gazed at her for a moment before speaking and her face had no expression.  She looked down, then up at Xena again and slowly grinned.  “Akemi, huh?  Out gallivanting with old dead lovers were you?  I suppose you saw Marcus, Lao Ma, Borias, Petracles and Cleopatra as well?”  The bard was attempting a bantering tone, but it sounded forced.

 

Xena became uncomfortable; she cleared her throat.  “Not exactly … Akemi just happened to be where I was…” Dammit, Xena, you fool, she thought unhappily, what made you say that?

 

Then the bard’s grin vanished entirely and her expression became unreadable.  “I … I missed you terribly,” she said, her voice soft.  “So, wh-where were you all this time?  You mentioned something called Limbo?”  She spoke carefully, as if choosing her words.

 

Xena swallowed.  All this time?  By the gods, how long WAS I gone?  “H-How long was it?”  She whispered, almost afraid to hear the answer.

 

“About ten or twelve days … well, it was exactly two weeks,” Gabrielle attempted to make light of it.  “Oh, I wasn’t too worried that anything had happened to you, since I knew y-you were already d-dead…” Her voice broke on the last word.

 

The warrior stared at her soulmate, then her expression crumbled and tears streamed down her face as she sobbed.  “Oh, Gabrielle.  I’m so sorry.”   She covered her face with her hands and her shoulders shook.

 

The petite woman looked at her in surprise for a moment, then rushed to her and pushed herself tightly against the warrior wrapping her arms around her.  “Shh, shh.  I love you.” she whispered.  “You’re back now, that’s all that counts.  It’s all right…”

 

“No it isn’t,” the ghost choked.  “Oh, gods, Gabrielle.  I love you so much and I want to protect you from any harm or hurt, b-but every time I try to, I end up hurting you worse than if I had done n-nothing at all...” She began sobbing anew.

 

Gabrielle held her tightly and stroked the raven hair.  “It’s all right.  Shhh.”  She kissed the bigger woman’s mouth softly, then brushed her tears aside.  Taking Xena’s hands, she pulled the warrior over to a small chest in the corner.  “I don’t care about you seeing Akemi, you know that.”  She sat down and the ghost came with her.  “So, where were you?  Tell me what happened.” Her voice was genuinely curious.

 

Xena sighed.  “After I … left you, I was in that ... place I mentioned before.  Its called ‘Limbo’."  She frowned.  "I guess time passes quicker there than here on earth, because I thought I was only there a few hours and for you it was two weeks."  The ghost's voice was soft. "I'm really sorry about that.  Some of the time I was ... kind of, well, unconscious I guess.  I didn't really know what was happening ... at least until Akemi showed up and awakened me...” Her voice trailed off as she saw Gabrielle's expression of horror.

 

"Y-You could have been caught there ... p-permanently?"  The blond gulped.  "Xena ... why did you go to this place?"

 

The ghost was uncomfortable.  "Well, I-I’m not quite certain how I got there, except that it seems to be a place where spirits go to forget and … and to be at peace...”

 

“ To be at PEACE?”  The petite woman looked at her soulmate with her mouth hanging open.  “You-You’re NOT at peace?  After all this?”  Her expression went from compassion to anger in a split second and she leaped to her feet to face the solid ghost.  “Dammit!  What was this whole thing of getting yourself killed and then staying dead about, if not to get you PEACE?”  She raised her face and shook her fists at the ceiling.  “Augh!  XENA!  I left you dead because you SAID you needed PEACE and staying dead would get it for you!  That was the ONLY reason I did it; because YOU wanted it!  If you still don’t have peace, then I might as well have brought you back and to HELL with the 40,000 of Higuchi!!”

 

“Gabrielle…” Xena’s voice was pleading.

 

“No!  I want to KNOW!”  The bard shrilled irately, her green eyes snapping.  “You disappear and don’t come back for two whole WEEKS!  I don't care that it wasn't two weeks for you because of being in Limbo, it was two weeks for ME!  I got blind-drunk with crying jags worrying where you were!  Tormenting myself, because I DROVE you away!”  The blond paced furiously back and forth.  “I worried myself sick every day and had nightmares every night that whole time, thinking I’d never SEE you again in this life!  Then to top it off, I almost get killed and RAPED!  Now you say yer not even at PEACE??  XENA!  What in Tartarus is going ON with you?”

 

Unable to speak, the solid warrior ghost looked at her miserably, and tears ran down her cheeks.  The exasperated bard closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  She held it for a moment before letting it out slowly through her nose.

 

“All right,” she said at last, plopping back down on the chest.  She pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes and rubbed them for a moment.  Finally, she clasped her hands under her chin and looked at her soulmate from under her eyebrows.  Her gaze was burning with intensity.  “Tell me ALL of it.  Start at the beginning and go straight through.  I promise that I won’t get mad and I won’t butt in any more, but TELL me!  Why did you leave, where did you go, and … why did you finally decide to come back and … what did Akemi have to do with it?”

 

 

Chapter 19

 

“All right, Gabrielle.”  Xena’s voice was low.  “I am going to do my absolute best to tell you everything, leaving out nothing because I owe you nothing less than the absolute truth of everything I did and said since I left you.”  She started slowly, but she was brutally honest, for she somehow knew that this was necessary for her soulmate to understand once and for all how she had felt and why she had left.  She began with admitting she had heard the bard’s pleas while she was on the mainmast and why she had not answered.  She told how she had decided to leave Gabrielle for the bard’s own good because she was tired of hurting the her, and had sought out the grayness and wind. 

 

She told of Akemi finding her there in Limbo and of what they had talked about.  Of how they had discussed Gabrielle and how the warrior felt about her soulmate and what the spiritsoul had said in return.  Of how the spiritsoul had confessed that she had loved the warrior and that Xena had admitted having loved her.  Of how Akemi had confessed her own ‘sins’ and how the both of them had finally come to realize that they were both doing the same thing.  They were both hiding to avoid facing the fact that they both felt they needed to suffer for their misdeeds.  Xena stayed Solid as she talked and her mouth got dry and her throat was feeling scratchy, but she never stopped.  In the end, she told her soulmate every single thing she had done or said or had heard from Akemi, leaving out absolutely nothing.

 

It took hours, but the bard listened attentively to everything Xena said.  Her expression was sometimes incredulous, sometimes angry and sometimes her green eyes were full of compassion or tears.  But as promised, she said nothing, only patiently listened and watched Xena’s eyes.

 

Finally the warrior finished with finding her way back from Limbo, standing over her tied down and unconscious soulmate and her grim promise to Tso Scorpion Mouth that he would never get the chance to harm anyone again.  Xena sighed and cleared her raw throat.  “Even with the means at hand, it took longer than I thought it would to set up the explosion on their ship.  Suddenly I heard them laughing and shouting and knew I was out of time.”  She swallowed, looking forlorn.  “I was terrified I’d be too late to stop Tso from carrying out his little … plan for you.  I went back into Full Fade and flew through the hulls of both ships to our cabin.  Once here I made my clothing vanish, became Solid and ran out.  You know the rest.”

 

"Yeah, I know the rest…" Gabrielle mused, finally breaking her silence.  Her green eyes were bleak.  "You know … you were only just in time, Xena."  Her voice trembled.  "That big tattooed bastard and his crew were gonna mount me like a-a..." Her voice trailed off as for once words failed the well-lettered bard.  Her mouth hung open as a memory seemed to smash at her and a sudden tear slid down her cheek and she dashed it angrily away.

 

The big woman blanched as her imagination took over for a moment, then she slammed a mental door on what she had seen in her mind's eye and her voice was a choked sob.  "I know, Gabrielle, oh gods, do I know.  I'll never forgive myself for that.  I'm so sorry, that I can't even begin to tell you."  A tear slid down her cheek.  “I’ll regret it till the end of my, uh, days … um, end of … well, whatever it is ghosts do at the end of … uh, whatever their end is,” she said weakly.

 

“I’m not in the mood for funny, Xena.”  Gabrielle’s voice was suddenly vehement.  “Does nothing ever change?  You did it to me AGAIN!  As usual you told me nothing!  Left me in the dark!  Couldn’t you have included me in your plan, dammit?  Clued me in?  You coulda come up to me in Partial Fade so no one else could see or hear you and said, ‘Gabrielle, just hang loose.  I’ve got your back.’ And I coulda relaxed a bit.  It wouldn’t have been so hard to endure, if at least I had expected that you were gonna rescue me.  But I had no idea that you would and no hope at all of a reprieve.  You were gone for GOOD as far as I could tell.  I was screwed and I KNEW it!”  The bard laughed mirthlessly at her own morbid humor then ground out,  “Well, maybe I wasn’t screwed YET, but I was sure as Tartarus GONNA be!”  Her face was white with twin spots of color on her cheeks as she stared at her friend.

 

The warrior winced at her friend’s choice of words.  “S-Sweetheart.  Y-You were unconscious by the time I got to you.  After that, I was on the other ship till the last m-minute.”  She looked miserable.  “I promise you, if there had been time, I would’a told you…”

 

“Xena, I believe you,” Gabrielle choked.  “But do you have ANY idea of how scared and lost and … and how FURIOUS I was?  By the gods!  The anger and hate and … and FEAR I felt inside was like an erupting volcano!  It was almost worse than in Britannia, when Dahak had me on his altar and was … was...” Her voice faltered, and she swallowed thickly.  When she spoke again her voice was low and deadly.  “I wanted to KILL every ONE of those sons-of-bitches!!  SLOWLY!  I even prayed to the God of Eli to TAKE me before I had to go through that … that s-situation!”  Her voice broke.

 

The solid ghost said nothing, but her blue eyes were tragic and tears ran freely down her cheeks.

 

The bard spoke low as she continued.  “I never WANTED to die before, Xena; never once.  Not after Dahak, or Hope, or when you hit me with the chakram.  Not after you tried to drag me to death; not even when I went to my crucifixion with you.  Oh, I went willingly because I LOVE you, Xena … but I didn’t WANT to die.  Not ever … not until … yesterday.”  Her head went down and her voice fell silent.

 

Xena found herself shaking.  “Oh, Gabrielle,” her voice was a trembling sigh.  “I can’t blame you for hating me now.”

 

“Hating you?  Me?”  The bard whispered.  Her head came up and her green eyes were brimming with tears.  “No, sweetheart.  I don’t hate you.  I CANNOT forgive people like Tso and his monsters for their actions, but you and I are a different story.  Over the years, you’ve pissed me off and scared me and even hurt me; twice you almost killed me.  I’m so angry at you right now that I wanna spit, but I can’t and WON’T hate you for now or for the past!”

 

Xena felt a lump building in her throat and fought to speak past it.  “Why not, Gabrielle?”

 

Gabrielle swallowed as she looked at her soulmate.  “Xena, I know I haven’t forgotten this and I don’t think you have either!  Remember Illusia?” 

She quoted, singing lightly…

“‘Hate is the star,

it becomes who you are,

not the hated but the hater,

has the torment that’s greater’ …and all the rest of it that bastard Dahak tried to wish on us.  Xena, if anyone ever learned this, we did!  Hate accomplishes NOTHING and it destroys EVERYTHING!  Forgiveness is EVERYTHING, and with it, we can accomplish ANYTHING!  If we learned anything at all during that whole Illusia thing, it was that.”

 

The warrior ghost nodded slowly.  “I know, but…”

 

“No ‘buts’, warrior-mine.”  Quietly, dispassionately, Gabrielle spoke.  “I’ve had a LOT of years to think about these things, Xena.  There were times at lonely campfires and on the trail following Argo and when you were asleep or gone on a mission.  When I was being held at the Roman fortress before our crucifixions and when I followed you north to Grendel; the list goes on and on.  The first time you tried to kill me, it was because of that bastard Ares whispering in your ear about getting revenge for my daughter killing your son.  His magical prodding caused you to go berserk and try to drag me to death behind an Amazon horse, and failing that, to toss me over a cliff.”  She smiled.  “Luckily for us both, you failed and so did I when I tried to kill you and thanks to Illusia and Solan, we got past the guilt and hate.”

 

“Yes, we did,” whispered the warrior.  “Dear Solan.  I still don’t know how he managed to set that all up, but it was effective, no doubt about that.  But, Gabrielle, the second time…”

 

“Oh, right.  Give me a break,” the bard grinned.  “The second time you tried to kill me, doesn’t hardly count.  You were a demon after you had given up your goodness to redeem Callisto’s soul.  And to be fair, as an archangel, I WAS trying to kill you to protect Heaven … and because I knew you would have wanted me to.  Far as I’m concerned, that was all ‘Even-Mavin.’”

 

“I DID want you to kill me.  Being a demon was tormenting the real me inside.”  Xena looked at the floor and her voice was low.  “But, Gabrielle, that wasn’t what I meant.  I meant when I…” she swallowed and looked back into the green eyes. “When I-I hit you with the chakram…”

 

The bard shook her head.  “Phooey!  That time I’m not even sure you WERE trying.  It was only because the Furies had gotten into my mind and made me try to kill Eve, just when she was on the way to becoming a power for good.  You hit me a glancing blow with the chakram, only AFTER I had stabbed poor Eve not once, but several times.  It was obvious that I wasn’t listening and was going to strike again.  Even at that, I think you were trying to wound me, not kill me.” She grinned, feeling for the old scar under the short hair on the top of the back of her head.  “Remember, honey, I’ve seen what you can do with the chakram.  If you were TRYING to do me in, you could’a just buried that ‘round-killing-thing’ in my head, instead of making it glance off.”  Gabrielle looked at her seriously. “I know this too, Xena.  If the situations were reversed and it was Eve stabbing ME, you would have done the same thing to HER ... for me.”  She cupped Xena’s chin and smiled.

 

There was silence for a time, then Xena spoke again.  “All right.  That was all in the past, and we are far beyond it.  What about what I did just now to you?  How can you forgive me for once again leaving you in the name of protecting you and even … even failing that?”

 

Gabrielle pursed her lips and her voice was quiet. “I can forgive you, because as always, you did what you thought was right to protect me.”  She looked intensely at her soulmate. “But, I can also forgive you because I finally understand you after all these years.  I finally know just WHY it is that you were willing to give your all and die for the 40,000 of Higuchi.  Why you have always been willing time and again to risk your life and to die if necessary for others.”  The petite woman lowered her gaze.  “Today, you told me Akemi said it.  Even you have said it before, but I just never really heard the words because I wasn’t ready.”  She was sober.  “It’s because dying is easier than facing the suffering you will make yourself go through if you stand by and let others be hurt when you could have helped by saving them or taking the hurt FOR them.”

 

Xena looked at her without speaking as the bard went on.

 

“Honey.  You have taught me all of your many skills and I thought I had nothing more to learn from you, and I was wrong ... again!  There was one more lesson I had to learn; the toughest one of all.  I knew I had the courage to face the useless suffering and eventual death.  What I still had to learn was that I had the courage to know when its time to quit fighting and accept death … and die happily.  Just like you did at Higuchi.”

 

“Gabrielle!” The warrior was horrified.  “I NEVER meant you to think THAT!”

 

The petite woman was resolute.  “Maybe not, but listen to me, Xena.  Up until this very DAY, I had NEVER believed in my own death before.  Not really!  Not even spiked onto the cross!  Even there I kept thinking that Ares, or Aphrodite or Hercules, or someone, some god, ANYONE, maybe even Brutus with orders to bring us to Rome, would show up in the nick of time to save you and by extension, save me just like always.”  She laughed humorlessly.  “But lying there tied down yesterday, naked, helpless, with no hope of reprieve, I had accepted that I was going to suffer and DIE today.  Not tomorrow, not next week, not next year, but TODAY!  I was going to be raped to death because I had stood up for the greater good and if I wasn’t killed during that process, I was gonna be killed afterward…” Tears ran down her cheeks.  “And, Xena?  I was OKAY with it!” 

 

“’Okay with it?’”  Xena’s voice was a sob.  “Gabrielle, what in Tartarus are you saying?  Th-That you WANT to die?”  Her hands trembled as she brushed the tears from her friend’s cheeks.

 

Gabrielle smiled at her.  “No, sweetheart; not at all.  I was going to be a, well … a distraction to Tso and the rest.  To take their minds off of anything else so that they wouldn’t harm captain Huezwang and the others for fighting back.”  She shrugged.  “What made it okay, was that I was giving my ALL for the Greater Good.  That was the ONLY way I could accept my death; but accept it I did.  I finally accepted that I COULD die.  You see, I had rejected it all this time, through all those situations we went through.”  Her expression was wry.  “Up until now, I was just following your lead, Xena.  I NEVER thought that YOU could really die … but then you DID!  Not only that, but you CHOSE to and accepted it willingly.  I didn’t understand that then.”  She shook her head and ran a hand through her blond hair and spoke softly.  “I just couldn’t understand HOW you could choose death over staying alive … over staying with ME.”

 

“Oh, honey.  I-I had to.  I just couldn’t stand feeling the pain anymore…”

 

Gabrielle affectionately put a finger against the ghost’s lips.  “Shhh.  I know that now, my love.”  She brushed the back of her hand against the warrior’s cheek.  “It was just that up until yesterday, I had never really accepted the thought that sometime, either in combat, or of old age, or from slipping on the soap in the hot tub, that I COULD die!”  She shook her head ruefully.  “Foolish, but there it is.  Well, that’s all over and now that I know that I WILL die?  It turns out to be okay and I’m fine with it.  Mind you,” she grinned, “I’m not LOOKING to die anytime soon and I’ll fight like Tartarus to STAY alive, but now that I know I will die?  It’s like a great load has been lifted off my mind; I’m not worried about it anymore.  I feel a great sense of peace.”  Gabrielle’s green eyes were serene.  She took Xena’s hand and lovingly kissed the palm, then cupped it to her cheek and held it there gazing at the big woman.

 

Blinking with tears of joy and love, Xena took Gabrielle’s other hand and held it against her own cheek and her tears ran over the bard’s small strong hand.  “I do not deserve you, my dear one,” she choked.

 

The bard came forward and kissed her gently and her own tears flowed.  “But you’re stuck with me, honey.”  Then she sighed.  “I’m just so sorry that you don’t have peace now, after everything.”

 

The expression on Xena’s face was full of love.  “But I do, Gabrielle.”

 

The bard stared.  “But you said … no, scratch that.  You indicated that you were not at peace when you spoke about going to Limbo, but you didn’t say that you weren’t at peace now.”  She raised an eyebrow.  “It was Akemi who helped you to find your peace, wasn’t it?”

 

“Oh, Akemi made me see what I had been doing all this time, how I had been making myself and thereby you, suffer.” The warrior ghost spoke quietly.  “Gods bless her for that.  She was still a child, but she could see that I was LOOKING for ways to not be at peace and told me so.”  She looked deep into the green eyes as she went on.  “But it wasn’t all her, Gabrielle … YOU made me see too.”

 

“Me?”  The small woman was baffled.  “Xena, I wasn’t even there…”

 

“Yes, my dear one.  You.”  Xena’s face shone with adulation.  “The second I got back, just the sight of you told me I was at peace and that now I always would be for as long as we were together and beyond.”  She hugged the bard as she whispered.  “You are mine and I am yours … and we are one.  There is NOTHING else that truly matters.”

 

“Oh, Xena,” the bard choked joyfully as she pressed her cheek against the warrior’s, and snuggled into the firm embrace while both of them cried soundless tears of deliverance and release.  Then, hanging on tightly to one another, the two soulmate’s just sat there rocking gently for a long time.  They said nothing more and there was no need, for it had finally all been said.

 

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Chapter 20

 

Quite a bit later, after Gabrielle had eaten something, the soulmates emerged from the cabin.  The bard was dressed in her Japa outfit of blue trousers and coat over a new shirt she had purchased in Higuchi to replace the one that had been burned up.  On her feet she wore boots with the sai’s tucked in them and under her arm she carried Huezwang's freshly laundered coat.  In the other she had her bag of healing salves, ointments and other medical supplies.  Xena was as usual, still in her armor and boots.  It was gusty with a sharp late afternoon breeze whipping across the deck and Gabrielle took a deep breath of the fresh sea air.  Closing her eyes, she seemed to feel something blow off of her; a feeling of mustiness, or funk seemed to swirl away with the cold wind.  She breathed again, and even though she had recently bathed, she felt somehow cleaner than she had below decks.  Glancing about, the bard saw that the blood had been washed from the decks with clean, fresh seawater.  There was no other sign of the recent troubles, except for four holes in a square on the main deck, where only yesterday, iron spikes had been driven into the wood, to hold her down.  Looking at the spot that had almost been her unpleasant death, the petite woman stared for a moment, and shivered at the memories. 

 

“You okay, dear one?”  Xena’s voice behind her was concerned.

 

Looking back at her solid warrior, the bard smiled.  “Yeah, I’m fine.  Really.”  I AM, she thought firmly, thrusting the creeping little doubts into a closet and mentally locking the door on them. 

 

She saw Melon Belly mending sails and waved, and the gaunt man waved back.  Then as she watched the crewmen going about their tasks, she started as she saw another familiar figure among them.  The man had a bandage on his head, and moved somewhat slower than the others as he worked.  “By the gods!”  She croaked out.  “It’s Soong!”

 

“Who’s Soong?”  The Warrior Princess asked.

 

Recalling that her friend had not been there when the Sullen Dragon had been in the port where the two crewmen had been sick, the bard quickly explained about the two new hired crew members.  “One of them was Merry Chan; the other was that guy,” she mused.  “I didn’t see Soong during the battle, so I assumed that he was the traitor who had crippled the rudder,” the bard went on.  “But that turned out to be Merry Chan, the guy who hit me from behind.  I wonder where Soong was all that time.”  She looked around, and seeing captain Huezwang standing at the small ornate chart table near the wheel, they went towards him.

 

The large captain wore a red silk coat and pants trimmed with yellow dragons, a blue sash around his belly and his black, furry hat.  He looked up from a chart he was writing on and smiled as they approached, bowing low.  “You look ... better.”  He said to the petite woman.  “I … glad.”

 

"Thank you,” Gabrielle smiled.  She handed him the coat and put a hand on his arm.  "And thank you also, for your kindness when I was...” she swallowed and her eyes glistened.  "When I needed it."  She finished, squeezing his arm.

 

The huge captain flushed a bit and his eyes crinkled.  He cleared his throat, nodding silently and put the coat under the chart table.  Then he looked at Xena.  "You also look ... well ... for the dead walking."

 

Xena smiled and cast an experienced eye at the sails.  "Full set of canvas; yer not steering by sails anymore.  I assume that the rudder has been fixed?"

 

The captain looked surprised at her knowledge.  "Yes," he nodded.  "It was no ... difficult.  We needed only ... replace steering ropes ... cut by Merry Chan."

 

"Speaking of him," Gabrielle said tightly. “I, we, just saw Soong on deck and we wondered where he had been during the battle.  I thought HE was the traitor until Merry Chan hit me…”

 

Huezwang bobbed his head and his hat waggled.  “This I thought also.  But after the … fought …  fight?  We find him in stern hold.  He was knock out, and tied with … um, cloth over mouth.” 

 

The captain went on to tell them that under questioning, Soong told that he had come upon Merry Chan boring a hole in the back of the ship near the rudder. When he had accosted the man, the traitor had said he was searching for a big rat that was loose there in the wall and invited Soong to have a look.  When the scarred man had turned his back for a moment, Merry Chan had knocked him out and tied and gagged him, apparently to keep as one more slave after the fight was won.  Soong had said when he awoke, he could see the other man poking a pole through the hole and fishing around with it.  Suddenly he pulled it back and Soong could see a knife tied onto the end of the pole.  At that moment, the ship had seemed to go crazy as if being attacked by the waves and Merry Chan had laughed, patted him on the head and left.

 

“Makes sense.” Xena said grimly after the captain had finished. “The scum had just managed to cut the rudder rope with his spear-knife.”

 

Huezwang nodded, looking angry.

 

“So Soong had nothing to do with it at all,” Gabrielle said.

 

“He couldn’t have,” Xena grunted,  “if he was tied and gagged since before the attack.” 

 

“Soong say, him think four of other men who … come to ship that night for work, them … all seem know each other.”  Huezwang scratched his head in a bemused manner.

 

Xena grimaced.  “Sounds like after they poisoned your two men in the eating place, the gang had it planned to get two of their own on board to do mischief when the slaver ship attacked.”  She was thoughtful.  “They sent four in hopes that you’d hire two or more of them.  But after you sent for the healer, the news of possible work had gotten around the port and two other guys who just wanted jobs showed up as well.  The slavers still had four chances out of six, but they just got unlucky that you picked Soong as the other man you hired and not one of their confederates.”

 

Gabrielle shivered slightly, and her soulmate put a gentle hand on her shoulder.  The bard smiled at her and covered the solid ghost’s big hand with her own, pressing it lightly.  “I wonder how many times they had used that trick before with other ships?”  She mused.

 

Huezwang thumped a large fist on the table, making the brushes and ink-pot dance.  “They eaters of rat’s DUNG!”  He shouted.  “In last … few year, many other … trade ship no have come back.  We think storms take them.  Now we know truth!  All was damn trick of slavers!”

 

“Yes.  But it’s a trick they’ll never pull again,” Gabrielle’s voice was hard and Xena put a hand on her other shoulder, squeezing slightly.

 

The bard’s words brought the angry Chin captain to a halt, and he drew air through his nose to let it out slowly.  “This true … thanks to you, warrior woman.”  He smiled.  “And to you, friendly ghost.” He bowed to them both.  “We owe you all; lives, ship, cargo.  We take anywhere you want.  If junk can sail, we go.”

 

“You are very kind, sir.”  Gabrielle smiled, “but the way we are going is just fine.”

 

He bowed again and said, “Then you stay on … Sullen Dragon as long as want.  No pay nothing.”

 

Blushing, the petite woman cleared her throat.  “The wounded...” she said.  “I am a healer of sorts and Xena knows even more about it.  Do you need any help with them?”

 

“Yes, that … would be kind to you.”  The huge man rolled up his chart and put it away.  He called Melon Belly, and the narrow man left his work and came over.  “Take them to wounded … give Gabrielle and Xena … anything they need.”

 

The gaunt man with the round belly nodded and gestured that they were to follow him.  He led them to where a tarp had been set up on the leeward side of the ship.  Here the four men who were badly wounded had been made comfortable on straw pallets.  Gabrielle looked them over with a practiced eye.  Of the four, Hsing was the worst with the wound in his neck.  One man had a deep cut in the leg, another had a broken arm, and still another had broken ribs.  She quickly tended to them first, then pulled back Hsing’s bandage.  She saw that the wound was still being held shut by the sail needle and was mending, but it needed cleaning and real stitching as well.

 

When she touched the needle to pull it out, the man jumped with pain and she stopped.  “I’m sorry, Hsing,” she said contritely. “I know it hurts, but the needle has to come out.  May I try again?” 

 

“Yes, lady…” he murmured in a weak voice. “You do what … you must.”

 

Gabrielle tried again and again he jumped.  It was obvious that he could not help doing it.  Smiling reassuringly at Hsing, the blond drew aside with the ghost.

 

 “Xena, the area around that needle must be very sensitive,” she frowned.  “I could put the pinch on him, but then I’d have to work faster than I like before it harmed him.  I know there are other nerve blocks, but I don’t know all the pressure points stuff that you do.  Is there some way to keep him from feeling it while I work?  If he jumps when I’m sewing…”

 

The warrior ghost nodded.  “You might as well learn this part too,” she said moving over to Hsing.  “You put your fingers here…” She pointed out where to apply pressure and the bard placed her fingers on the spots and successfully did as Xena told her. 

 

While the man lay quietly feeling no pain, Gabrielle managed to remove the needle without tearing the skin. Then she cleaned the wound, sewed it properly and put on a fresh bandage.  Finally she removed the nerve blockages she had created and smiled.  “Xena, that was great.  He didn’t feel anything so he didn’t jump around when I pulled out the needle or when I was sewing him.  That made it easy.  Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome, honey.”  The warrior smiled back but spoke seriously.  “But it’s not a cure-all.  You don’t want to do it unless you have to.  The reason is that it can destroy the nerves in the area…” the bard looked worried and she continued.  “But a few times when it’s necessary is all right.”

 

The relieved bard washed her hands and put away her equipment.  She thanked Melon Belly and began to move away, when he said, “There more … below deck.”

 

“More wounded crewmen?”  Gabrielle said in surprise.  She hadn’t thought there were that many who were hurt.

 

“Not crew,” the gaunt man was apologetic.  “Hurt  … slavers.  You want … look at them?”

 

Gabrielle suddenly felt as if there were no air around her and the breath rushed in and out of her lungs as if she had been running.  She felt cold even in the warm blue trousers and coat and felt the color drain from her face.  Behind her, Xena put strong hands on her shoulders. 

 

“Easy, Gabrielle.  I’m here.”

 

The small woman fought to slow her rapid breathing.  For a long moment, she looked at the man, then drew in a deep breath.  “Melon Belly,” she said tightly.  “Th-The wounded slavers.  If I help them, what will happen to them when we make port?  Are they going to be ex-executed?”

 

The sailor grunted.  “No.”  At the bard’s expression, he raised a hand.  “But they be punished.  In that province, slavery not … allowed.  We turn over to … magistrate.  Slavers go prison, work in salt mines till they die.”  He grinned with satisfaction.

 

Xena nodded grimly.  “Sounds like a pretty fair treatment, considering what they did to so many others.  The slavers become as good as slaves themselves, working for the good of the people.”  She patted her friend’s arm.  “Apt punishment, eh, Gabrielle?”

The bard looked blankly at the ghost without answering and her face was pale except for a spot of color on each cheek.  She turned back to the sailor.  “I guess you’d better take … me to them,” the petite woman whispered.

 

“Honey,” Xena’s voice was low.  “You know you don’t have to do this…”

 

“Yes.  Yes I do…” The bard’s voice was harsh.  “It turns out that I want to see these lousy bastards.”  She spoke firmly. “Let’s go, Melon Belly.”

 

 

Chapter 21

 

Silently then, they went below decks to a small airless space with two lanterns.  Two armed crewmen arose from the deck where they were playing a game with two different colors of pebbles in rows and patterns.  They arose smiling at the women and bowed.  Melon Belly spoke to them in Chin dialect and they nodded.  One looked into a small opening on a bolted door, before opening it cautiously.  Both then went inside with hands on their weapons.  After a moment, one returned and gestured and Melon Belly led the way holding one of the lanterns.

 

A stink of unwashed bodies and excrement met Gabrielle’s nose as she came to the door and she grimaced.  “Smells like an Athens outhouse in there.”  She muttered.

 

“I’ve smelled worse,” the solid ghost grinned, trying to lighten the mood, “but not much.  I sure wish I was Faded right now so I didn’t have to smell this.”

 

The bard said nothing as they went into the room and Xena found herself worrying about her friend’s state of mind.  After all, these same men had been ready to rape her the day before.  Following the bard and steeling herself for anything, she entered the cabin, which proved to be a small cargo hold with no other exits.  In the gloom, came faint metallic clinks, an occasional cough and a low groan from somewhere.  Eight men could be seen in the shadows cast by the lantern, lying on the deck chained to one another by the ankles; chains were on their wrists as well.  A few blinked owlishly at the light, others turned their heads and at least one was either unconscious or dead.

 

“Could you bring in that other lamp?”  Gabrielle asked calmly.  “I can’t see enough to work here…”

 

Melon Belly spoke again and one of the guards brought in the other light and held it high.  Gabrielle saw Merry Chan sitting with his back against a post; the traitor bore a look of disdain as he stared back at her.  Feeling her nostrils flare, she unconsciously squared her shoulders, then deliberately looked away.

 

Leaving him for last, the bard went around looking at the other seven battered and filthy men.  All bore wounds and most had been only but roughly treated with rude bandages.  She stopped in front of the man who had his eyes closed.  She frowned, then knelt and felt for a pulse in his neck, but the cold touch of his rigid skin and the smell was enough to tell her he would need no more help.  Swallowing, she stood up.

 

“Th-This ones dead,” she grimaced, feeling slightly sick in spite of herself.  “Better take him out…” One of the crewman guards nodded and unchaining the dead man from the others, he lugged the stiff body out into the other cabin.

 

She bent to another man and pulled aside his bandage to peer at the wound.  “Xena,” she said. “Could you bring my bag?”  The solid ghost nodded and came over.  Seeing the ‘Succubus’ so close, the man tried to pull back but could only go so far with the chains holding him.  “It’s all right,” Gabrielle said, more gently than she had intended. “She won’t hurt you if you behave.”  Considering who and what he was, the slaver’s wounds and outright fear had the affect of filling her with more compassion than she would have believed possible.

 

Silently, she cleaned the wound and applied a salve, then re-bandaged it.  She did the same for three other men.  Two others had mere scrapes and cuts; they had been clubbed unconscious during the fight.  Now at last she came to where Merry Chan sat.

 

Gabrielle approached the man and looked at him.  He was sitting against a post and his chin was swollen black and blue where she had hit him with the sai.  A short chain attached his manacled hands to a neck shackle.  Slowly the bard knelt in front of him and stared into his face.  Her expression was bland.  “Remember me?”  She said softly.

 

He said nothing, just looked at her with a faint sneer.

 

“Having trouble remembering?”  Gabrielle looked surprised.  “Well, I suppose being in your line of … work, you see a lot of people.  Let me try to help.  I’m the person you back-stabbed when she wasn’t looking.”  Then she pursed her lips.  “Oh, wait a minute, I suppose that WOULD be hard for you to recall.  You’ve probably done that to any number of people.”  She cocked her head as if considering.  “Hmm, I know!  This’ll remind you … I’m that person you were ready to rape yesterday … oh, wait.  The same thing applies to that too, doesn’t it?”

 

The man lost his sneer as he swallowed.  He looked down and said nothing.

 

The bard grabbed him by the hair and yanked, making him squall.  She tipped his head up and shouted furiously into his face, “I said, do you REMEMBER me, you BASTARD!”

 

“Y-Yes, lady…” he gulped as she held his head up by the hair.

 

“Yes, lady?” She ground out.  “Yes, lady?  It wasn’t Yes, lady when you tried to chop my spine in two, you traitorous scum!  It wasn’t Yes, lady when you wanted to be the FIRST in line to RAPE me!”

 

In a flash, she drew a sai from her boot and held it with the point pressed against his throat.  The guards started at the lightning movement and Xena began to step forward, but seeing the bard was in no danger, she halted, saying nothing.  In her heart, she felt the rage from yesterday still smoldering.  She wanted to punish this prick who would, but for Akemi’s tattoo, have been the death of her beloved and had caused her to nearly be raped as well.  But this was Gabrielle’s moment and she would not interfere.  With no expression, she watched the bard.

 

Gabrielle drew the point of the weapon gently across his throat from one ear to the other.  “Just a little pressure…” she whispered.  “The very least … and you’d have a new smile…” Sweat was running down Merry Chan’s face and his eyes were wide.  His breath was shallow as the bard ran the sai back and forth across his throat, her cold green eyes almost black as they stared into his. 

 

“D-Don’t kill me…” He finally sobbed, gasping for breath.  “Pleassse!”

 

“You fear death?”  Gabrielle said with wonder, touching the point of the weapon to his cheek just below his eye, causing him to flinch.  “But death can be a friend, Chan.  It’s nothing to fear, especially at a time like this.  No, it can be something to embrace … like a dear friend or a lover.”

 

Behind her, Xena swallowed at the bard’s words as she suddenly realized that her friend was ready to kill the man in cold blood.  The warrior would have cheerfully done it for her without a qualm, but the thought of her gentle bard doing so made her stomach churn.  She opened her mouth to speak, but somehow couldn’t.  Oh, Gabrielle, please, she prayed.  Please don’t take this path now.  You’ve avoided it all these years.  Callisto couldn’t make you take it after Perdicus.  Eve couldn’t after she killed Joxer.  Gurkhan couldn’t after what he did to your family.  Even I couldn’t after I tried to kill you.  Don’t take this path because of a scum like him.  Please, gods!  Don’t let her.  She stood like a rock watching her friend move the sai across the trembling man’s face.

 

Gabrielle pulled back from him and her face was frozen.  “Yes, death can be a friend, but for you death would be too quick a punishment,” she gritted, “…and you wouldn’t learn anything from it.  Better to … teach a lasting lesson, I always say…”

 

Before the man could say a word, the bard flung him backward and drove her knee into his stomach driving the air out of him.  Her hand found the belt of his trousers and ripped them downward, exposing him.  “Ahhh,” she smiled playfully.  “There it is, uh, SUCH as it is.  My goodness, that’s not much to brag about, is it?”  She looked him in the eyes and her smile became a gargoyle’s grimace as she raised the sai.  “But you don’t have to worry; it won’t be there for LONG!”

 

Merry Chan shrieked like a damned soul as the weapon came down between his legs … and thudded point first into the deck.  When he realized that there was no pain, the man started vomiting and got it all over his face.  Afterwards, he whimpered and tears ran down his cheeks into his ears leaving tracks in the filth on his cheeks.  Gabrielle leaned over him, her face inches from his.  “How does it feel?”  She whispered in a dead voice.  “How does it feel to be helpless, with no way out, when someone is going to do something horrible to you?  Did you like it?  Was it fun?”

 

He sobbed, babbling in Chin dialect and the bard withdrew, pulling the sai out of the deck with a wrench.  “You REMEMBER how it feels,” she whispered.  “From now on when you’re mining salt, you remember it every day of your life.”  She turned and saw Xena, Melon Belly and the two crewmen watching her and blinked as her vision suddenly blurred.  “Let’s get outa here,” she gritted, pushing past the ghost and on up the stairs.

 

The warrior hastily picked up the bard’s medicine bag and followed her.  Once on deck in the waning daylight, she saw the bard staring up at the sunset tinted sails as if transfixed.  As Xena approached, Gabrielle bent over trembling, hands on her knees. 

 

Xena came up to her.  “Honey?  Are you all right…” The bard looked dully up at her, then suddenly without warning her eyes widened, her face turned a greenish color and a little drool ran out of the corner of her mouth.  Then with a squeak, she bolted to the rail, hanging her head over the side and her shoulders heaved as she retched again and again into the sea.  Afterward, she sank down with her back against the rail, put her head in her hands and groaned.

 

Xena was feeling a bit tired from remaining solid for so long, so she went into Partial Fade as she squatted next to her friend.  “Feel any better?”

 

Gabrielle’s voice was low.  “After puking my guts out over the side, or after terrorizing that piece of shit down there?”

 

“Ever what,” the ghost said.

 

“Xena,” the bard said tiredly.  “I am unhappy to report that revenge is indeed, highly over-rated.  I tormented that guy for revenge, plain and simple and all the time I felt like a louse; I feel like one now.”  She shook her head.  “I could have killed him like stepping on a spider and what would it have really accomplished?  He’d be dead.  He would have learned nothing.  His friends would have learned nothing except that ‘Might makes Right’ because I was in the position of power this time.”  She looked up at her friend and her eyes were old.  “That’s not a lesson I ever want to teach.  Not even to human garbage like them.”

 

“I hope you didn’t mean that,” the warrior said solemnly.

 

“What, about revenge and ‘Might makes Right?’”  The bard looked puzzled.  “Xena, you know that revenge doesn’t work…”

 

“No,” Xena interrupted her, straight-faced.  “I mean about stepping on spiders.  That’s gross!”

 

Gabrielle stared for a moment, then laughed in spite of herself.  “You and your damn spiders.  Creepy, disgusting, squiggly…”

 

“Hey!”  Xena’s lips quirked.  “I like spiders, remember?  Well, except for sand spiders maybe.  Eve is like me that way too,” she said thoughtfully.

 

“Yeah, she’s your daughter all right, Messenger of Eli, Callisto and all.”  The bard stood up. “By the gods.  I’ve gotta get clean.  I feel dirty again after that little performance back there.  I don’t suppose that my warrior hot water heater is available for a little emergency duty?” 

 

“Anytime, my dear one.”  The warrior said serenely.

 

Gabrielle looked at her and spoke softly.  “Thanks for bringing me out of my funk, honey.  You always seem to know what to say in a ‘whack me in the head’ kinda way.”

 

“Glad to do that any time, too,” Xena grinned.  “It’s my specialty.”

 

“You and your many skills, yeah.”  The petite woman smiled tenderly.  “Come back here so that I can hug you.” 

 

“Oooo, best offer I’ve had all day.”  The ghost quickly shimmered into Solid, causing a crewman walking past to jump as to him she seemed to appear from nowhere.  “What!?”  The warrior barked and the man swallowed and kept walking, albeit a bit faster.  She grinned.

 

“Now sweetheart,” Gabrielle wrapped her blue clad arms around the warrior.  “Don’t tease the crew.  They may not be able to affect you, but I have to live here.” She snuggled into the ghost’s embrace.  “Mmmm.  You feel good.  Now, how about that bath?”

 

Arm in arm, the two soulmates walked toward the cabin.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Chapter 22

 

During her bath, Gabrielle let the warrior wash her back without any indication of fear.  Indeed, she had several times showed signs of wanting more intimate caresses from her friend, but Xena had pretended not to notice.  She had no objection in attempting to make love with her soulmate again, indeed, was looking forward to trying to make it work between them.  But she thought it was too soon after the horrible events of the day before.  Finally the bard was clean and dry and pulled the Egyptian cotton robe over herself again and put on some sandals.  “Oh, I feel so much better now.  Thanks, Xena; that water was just the perfect temperature.”

 

“Glad you enjoyed it, my dear one,” the ghost smiled.  “Are you hungry?  Maybe you oughta get something to eat.”

 

“Oh, I’m hungry all right,” the bard purred.  “But not for food…” She made as if to kiss the warrior, but the big woman pulled back. 

 

The ghost swallowed and said.  "Honey, m-maybe we shouldn't..."

 

The bard looked stricken.  "Xena ... d-don't you want to k-kiss me?"

 

"Oh, my dear one..." Xena gulped.  "Of course I want to kiss you, a-and stroke you and make love with you!  How can you ask that?"

 

"Oh, sweetheart!"   The bard choked.  "I-I was afraid maybe you w-wouldn’t want me after yesterday…” She swallowed.

 

“Gabrielle!”  Xena was sober.  “There is nothing that you could do or that could happen to you, that would make me not want to make love to you.”

 

“Oh, gods!  I feel the same way about you.”  The small woman’s voice was relieved.  “Please!  Make love with me?  I want you so much." 

 

"Dear one,” Xena was hesitant.  "You know we haven’t managed to make this work since I’ve been dead.”

 

“Maybe we just need practice,” the bard said throatily.  “Anyway, I’m willing to try if you are.”

 

“Oh, I’m willing to try, but…” The large woman stopped, biting her lip. “A-Are you sure you want to so soon after … after..." Her voice faltered to a stop.

 

"After nearly being raped?"  Gabrielle smiled grimly.  "I can say the word without falling to pieces, Xena.  Besides, I love you and we have been lovers for years.  You are not like Tso and his lousy bastards.  You have never, ever pushed me into making love and besides, like you said, rape is not about love or sex, its about control and power ... and you and I have never played that game."

 

The warrior ghost still looked worried.  "I know, Gabrielle.  I just don't want to hurry you into anything..."

 

"And you aren't, so don't worry about it, sweetheart."  Gabrielle closed her eyes, then opened them to look deep into the warrior's blue gaze.  "I LOVE you, and I am not gonna let the memories of a bunch of dead bastards who should have been smothered in their cradles, keep me from holding you and making love with you."

 

"Gabrielle."  Xena sighed, and her voice trembled.  Lovingly, she cupped the bard's cheeks and slowly brought her face forward till their lips touched ever so gently.  As they both closed their eyes, they held their lips just barely in contact and slid their arms softly around one another, each stroking the other's back and shoulders with feather-light touches of fingertips.  They stayed this way for long moments, doing nothing but savoring the warm beginnings of arousal building slowly within their chests.  Then Gabrielle's tongue gently touched just the tip of the velvety soft inner surface of Xena's lips, and slowly, so very softly circled around for long moments, before pulling back.  Trembling slightly, the warrior brought her tongue forward and echoed the bard's previous movements.  Then they pressed their cheeks together and slid so that Gabrielle's head was crooked into Xena's neck and the warrior's cheek touched the short blond hair and they just hugged, feeling their bodies touching.

 

"Xena, oh, Xena..." The bard whispered against the tall woman's neck, and nibbled ever so gently against the soft warm skin.

 

"I love you, Gabrielle ... oh, how I love you..." The warrior's voice was a whimpered vow as the bard pursued her kissing, nibbling trail across the warrior’s neck and shoulders.

 

“Ohhhh, gods!”  Gabrielle finally groaned, pulling away.  “I need to feel you sweetheart.  I need to feel all of you against me…” She began fumbling with the robe and quickly stripped it off and kicked away her sandals.  She stood naked on the blankets and posed with a hand on her slim waist.  She wet her lips with a pink tongue.  Xena gulped, and then vanished for a moment, suddenly reappearing nude.  “I still get the shivers when I see you do that,” the bard grinned.  “Talk about handy.”

 

The warrior ghost stepped forward onto the blanketed area and they embraced, both of them shuddering as they touched.  They kissed softly, then with more and more passion, each stroking the smooth nakedness of the other.  The bard stood away and sank down onto the blankets, tugging at her lover’s hands.  “Come to me, beloved…” she whispered.  The warrior knelt beside her; then they lay side by side and embraced again, their hands roving as their lips worked together.

 

Gabrielle sighed as they kissed and she whispered into Xena’s mouth.  “I-I want you, my love.  P-Please.  Now!”  So saying, she pulled her soulmate over on top of her and as their naked bodies came together Xena looked down with concern on her face.

 

“Gabrielle … a-are you sure?  M-Maybe we should go slower…”

 

“Make love to me, Xena.  Oh, make love to me…” The bard crooned, her lips kissing all over the solid ghost’s face.  “Hurry, oh, hurry my love.  I want you so much!”  The warrior swallowed with desire and began kissing and caressing the smooth white body beneath her.  Her hands cupped the bard’s firm breasts and her mouth began laving the taut pink nipples, making her soulmate moan.

 

Eyes closed, Gabrielle was lost in the sweet feelings racing through her in response to Xena’s touch and kiss and she groaned with swiftly gathering need.  The warrior pressed tighter against her as she kissed and caressed and suddenly the bard began shuddering and panting.  A pair of eyes full of the lust to hurt and twin scorpions came into her mind.  Feelings of cruel hands pinching her breasts and a gloating voice filled her and she began to push frantically against the heavy body on top of her. 

 

“No, no, no, no, nooooooooo!  Get off of me, get OFF…” She sobbed.  The weight vanished from on top of her and she scrambled to her feet, falling into a defensive crouch.  A shadowy figure stood before her in the near darkness and she backed away sobbing.  “Stay away, stay awayyyy…” The figure didn’t move and she panted through her mouth.

 

“Gabrielle.”  The voice was calm, soothing.  “It’s me, Gabrielle.  It’s Xena.  It’s all right my love … its going to be all right.”

 

“X-Xena?”  The bard blinked.  What in Tartarus?  “Wh-Whats going on…”

 

The warrior ghost came slowly forward and there were tears running down her face.  “It’s me, honey.  You’re safe.  He’s dead; he can’t hurt you.”

 

Suddenly it all crashed in on her and Gabrielle staggered with the realization of what had just taken place.  She put her hands on her short-cropped blond hair and tears flooded down her cheeks.  “Oh, by the gods!  Oh, X-Xena … I’m sorry.  I-I don’t know what happened…”

 

“Shhh.  I love you.  It’s all right.”  The warrior came over and took her in strong arms and the sobbing bard buried her face in her shoulder, hugging her fiercely as her hot tears ran down the ghost’s chest.

 

At last Gabrielle looked up into her soulmate’s face, her green eyes wet and tragic.  “D-Damn that dirty bastard!  I-I can’t even let you m-make love to me without … r-remembering…” she sobbed.

 

“Dear one, oh, my dear one…” Xena smiled.  “He hasn’t won.  We won’t let him.  This may take some time, but like I said.  There’s no rush; we have time.”  She pulled the bard gently down onto the blankets once more and they lay facing.  She took the small woman into her arms and stroked her back gently as she snuggled into her.

 

“Xena…” Gabrielle’s voice was soft.  “Th-Thank you for understanding … when I don’t even understand it myself…” She intertwined one of her legs between her soulmates.

 

The warrior pulled the blanket over them and laid her head on top of the bard’s.  “Rest now.  We’ve been through much worse, Gabrielle, and we’ll get through this as well.”

 

“Oh, my love.  I don’t even know what I would do without you…”

 

The ghost kissed her hair.  “I promise you, I’ll never leave.  Try to sleep.  If I’m gone when you wake up I’ll really be here, even if I’m not.”  She blinked.  “Um, did that make sense?”

 

Despite herself, a faint smile crept over Gabrielle’s face.  “I’m damned if I know, but strangely enough, I understood it.”  Her expression became tender as she whispered;  “I love you, Xena…”

 

“I know you do, Gabrielle, and I love you too,” the ghost said with fondness. “Now rest; that’s an order.”

 

“Yes, ma’am, honey.” the smiling bard closed her eyes and nestled against her soulmate.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Chapter 23

 

It was a week later.  The two women had not really tried to make love since the incident, but they had rested, either in the cabin or on deck and talked and talked.  Mostly about inconsequential things, but sometimes about important ones as well.  Sometimes the warrior ghost had even sung to her petite lover.  The raven haired woman knew many songs, from sweet love ballads to raunchy ditties fit only for taverns or brothels, and her renditions sent the blond into both tears of sentimental happiness and gales of laughter respectively.  For her part, the bard had read out loud to Xena from her scrolls, and together the two women had relieved the many times both good and bad that they had shared over their lives of travel together.

 

Not all of the week was happy.  Many nights in their cabin, the small woman had awakened crying or calling out in fear from the depths of a nightmare.  At those times, Xena had become Solid and stroked and held Gabrielle tenderly, calming her and helping her get back to sleep.  And so the days had passed, split between times of happiness and fear, rest and unrest and slowly the bard and warrior had worked on rebuilding and strengthening their trust and love.

 

Now, a clear sunny morning had broken over the Chin-junk, and Gabrielle was on the bow deck dressed in her blue coat and pants from Japa.  Every day the warrior-bard practiced religiously with katana, sai’s and chakram for at least two hours, with Xena giving her pointers or just being supportive.  Today, she was at practice as usual but also with her was the Chin crewman called Melon Belly.  He had a curved sword and was sparring with her while on the sidelines in Partial Fade, Xena watched her small friend proudly.

 

Melon Belly, or someone like him, had originally been the Warrior Princesses suggestion.  The warrior ghost said that Gabrielle ought to have a live ‘foe’ to practice fight against to sharpen her skills.  Accordingly, the bard had asked captain Huezwang if there was one of his crew he could spare for an hour or so a day to participate with her.  After some thought, the large captain had recommended the lanky sailor, saying that he was an accomplished fighter.  Indeed, over the last couple of days, the two women had found that the tall narrow man with the round paunch was quite good with the sword.  His long thin arms had reach and his muscles although ropy, seemed to be made of sprung steel, never seeming to tire. 

 

The small woman and the slender, round-bellied man circled each other, their swords ringing faintly as just the tips engaged.  When Melon Belly moved, he looked like an ungainly giant grasshopper, but his steps were sure-footed and his long arms weaved the curved sword in long arcs, now clashing as he attacked the bard, now defending as she struck back.  In contrast, the small woman moved like a darting flame, seeming almost to flicker in and out, first to play with the tip of her opponents sword, then to jump in close as the katana shot sparks against the crewman’s curved blade.  Now as Xena watched, Gabrielle stepped in yet again and their blades clashed back and forth.  Each time this had happened before, she had retreated back after a moment and the crewman had followed, continuing to attack. 

 

Come on, Gabrielle, thought the warrior ghost with worry.  Don’t let your moves fall into a pattern.  If he recognizes it and prepares a counter, you could be in trouble. You should do something different; right about … now … Oh, yeah!  Nice MOVE, honey! 

 

It was almost as if her friend had been listening to the ghost’s thoughts, for at that instant, the bard had changed her tactics.  This time as she started back, instead of leaping away after the clash, she spun to the side and dipped low, sweeping out a straight leg.  Melon Belly was caught unawares as he stepped forward to follow her as usual.  Thus her sweeping leg came against the shin of his supporting leg and he could not maintain his balance.  He stumbled forward, sword flying from his grasp.  Most opponents would have landed sprawled on the deck, but the pot-bellied man managed to tuck and roll to the sword and grab it.  Against a less wary foe, the Chin-crewman might have regained his feet and continued the fight, but the bard was not just any foe and she had been moving too.  As he twisted into a crouch to face his small opponent, Melon Belly found the katana’s keen edge less than ten inches from his throat and froze.  He and the bard held their positions like statues for a split moment then she lowered the blade and with a smile, offered him a hand up.  With a gulp of relief, the narrow man took her hand and came erect.

 

By the gods, she’s getting good with that katana, the warrior ghost thought with admiration as the sweating Melon Belly and the petite woman bowed to each other before breaking for a rest.

 

“You did well,” Gabrielle said to the Chin sailor.  “You are a good swordsman.”

 

“You … being better…” he said ruefully.  “In a true fight, I would be … no more.”

 

“Perhaps,” she said with a smile.  “But you learn well and quickly.  I don’t think you will be sucked in that way again if someone were to try that in a real fight.”

 

Melon Belly smiled back and ducked his head.  At that moment there was a shout from Li-Yuan and the tall sailor looked up, then waved at the mate.  He turned back to Gabrielle.    “I must now go work … thank you, for lesson.”

 

“I thank you for the chance to practice,” the bard said, crinkling her eyes.  “I have learned from you as well.”

 

As Xena watched, the narrow man went back to his duties and the bard ran the katana back into the wooden sheath at her side before starting towards her.  Yep, the Warrior Princess mused.  I think Gabrielle’s found her ideal weapon.  It seems to suit her better than the sai’s.  Even better than the staff, which I thought sure she was best with.  I’d certainly hate to come up against her if it was for real.

 

The petite bard came over to the ghost and smiled, wiping a fine sheen of perspiration from her brow.  “You know, Xena, he’s damn good,” she said nodding towards the departing crewman.  “He gave me a workout and I’m glad you suggested that I ask him to practice with me.  You were right, it’s better to spar with someone who can fight back, rather than just doing the steps of the ‘kata’ over and over...” She stopped and looked keenly at her soulmate.  “What’re you shakin’ your head about?”

 

“You.”  The ghostly warrior grinned.  “That’s so typical of you, Gabrielle.  As usual, you praise your partner and ignore the fact that you’re good yourself.  It’s just like when you always write about me and leave yourself out.  Just so you know, you have become a damn fine swords-woman in your own right.  Maybe better than anyone I’ve ever seen…” She lowered her voice and spoke earnestly.  “Maybe even better than me.”

 

“Awww, come on, sweetheart.”  The petite woman blushed with pleasure and her nose wrinkled. “Sure, I think I’ve gotten better, but no one alive could ever match you.”

 

“I dunno, Gabrielle.  I’d sure hate to have to live or die on the difference ... uh, not that it’s like I have a choice about either one now…” the ghost said wryly.

 

At her words, the petite bard’s face fell and she swallowed, looking away quickly.  When she turned back, her eyes were moist and she blinked rapidly.

 

Xena was instantly contrite.  “Oh, honey, I’m sorry.  It was stupid of me to bring that up.”

 

The bard smiled wanly and wiped at her eyes.  “No, it’s all right.  I mean, geeze, you’re the one who’s … n-not here.  I’m too sensitive about it.  I-I just miss you so much…”

 

“I am still here, Gabrielle,” the warrior ghost spoke soft.  “And I always will be.”

 

“I know, and I’m grateful, I really, really am.  I just…”

 

“Hey, tell ya what,” Xena said quickly, striving to change the uncomfortable subject.  “Why don’t we spar a little?  Maybe you could teach me that one move you used where you parried, thrust, spun off on yer right foot and came back with an overhand chop.  I’ve never seen quite that combination before…”

 

The bard cleared her throat and attempted a smile.  “That?  I copied it from you!  Shows how good I did it.  Ya didn’t even recognize it.”

 

The warrior ghost grinned and suddenly shimmered into Solid, whipping out her sword.  “Come on, bad-girl!  Let’s see how bard you are!  Show me whatcha got!”

 

“Xena, this is silly.  I could never…”

 

“Bawk-bawk-bawwwwk!  I thought you were this big warrior-babe now!  Yer not chicken, are ya?”  The ghost taunted, spinning her sword around in easy arcs.  “Come on, Scabrielle!  I’ll show ya the right way to do that combination!”

 

“Scab-rielle, izzit?”  The bard’s green eyes narrowed at Xena’s reminder of the time she had contracted the itching fungus in the swamp while they were searching for Argo.  She suddenly grinned and drew the katana with a whinging of steel.  “Okay, X-nah!  You asked for it.  Maybe I’ll teach you something all right!”  Her nose wrinkled with humor.

 

“Ooo, I’m soooo scared…”

 

 

Chapter 24

 

The two soulmates, the living bard and the ghost warrior, faced off and then circled one another, their sword tips playing with delicate ringing sounds as each searched for an opening to use.  Xena began the dance of combat full of her usual self-assurance, but very quickly found that she was having more than a little trouble concentrating her thoughts to stay Solid during this circling about.  As usual when she fought, she paid close attention to everything around her and to every move her opponent made.  She watched Gabrielle’s katana flicker back and forth. She watched her friend’s feet move, and closely observed her posture which would subtly signal moment by moment whether she was going to attack or defend.  Even the way an opponent held their mouth could be an important signal to a knowledgeable fighter.  By the gods, Xena thought, keeping her face an impassive mask.  This is harder than I thought it would be.  Her confidence began to ebb and doubt assailed her.  Damn!  Besides watching her, I gotta feel everything, from the deck under my feet, to the tip of my sword; from the wind in my hair to the movement of the ship to watching for what Gabrielle’s gonna try and I can’t get distracted.  It-It’s too … much; I-I can’t.  Yes, you can, Warrior Princess!  Concentrate, stupid, she told herself harshly.  You can do this!  Use what Lao Ma taught you.  Focus; be still … feel it; feel it all!

 

But it was hard.  More than once Xena started a tricky sword combination aimed at striking a blow with her blade that should have twisted the katana out of the bard’s hands.  However, she found that just at the split second she struck, she would Partially Fade and the blow would pass through Gabrielle’s weapon with no affect.  The warrior ghost was disgusted.  Never before had she felt so clumsy during combat.   Since she had been able to stay solid most of the time around her soulmate, she had just assumed that during something as familiar as a sword fight that she would be able to perform as usual.  You idiot, Xena, she thought as she continued circling the bard.  If the act of making love takes all your concentration just to stay Solid, it’s gonna be even worse in the middle of combat!  She tried to compose herself, but she was becoming exasperated at her inability to stay Solid.  Calm, Xena, calm, she thought.  How many times have you told Gabrielle, when you get mad, you can’t think straight.  Follow yer own advice, nitwit!

 

Meanwhile, Gabrielle had apparently noticed nothing unusual in her partner’s moves and she suddenly attacked, causing their swords to ring and clash sparks.  Startled, the warrior ghost lost control and Partially Faded as the petite warrior’s katana struck her weapon.  The bard’s blade suddenly passed through Xena’s now insubstantial sword and because she was expecting the blades resistance, the small woman was caught off balance, and stagger-spun through the ghost and on out behind her. The warrior felt a rush of surging heat as the bard passed through her and this shocked her from Partial into Full Fade, so that she vanished from sight completely. 

 

The spinning blond’s out-of-control katana chopped through a taut rigging rope that braced the mainsail.  The sail, now released from one edge, spilled the wind and began to flap wildly.  This caused the ship to luff, turning its bow into the wind and coming to an abrupt stop.  There were shouts from Captain Huezwang, the mate Li Yuan, and other crewmen as they rushed from all parts of the Chin-Junk to grapple with the flapping mainsail.  The cut rope on the end acted like a flailing bull-whip to anyone nearby, raising howls of pain and pungent curses in Chin-dialect.  At last one of the sailors managed to seize the rope and others got holds on the whipping sail and managed to splice the cut line together once more.

 

After the mainsail was tied down and the Sullen Dragon was back under control, the embarrassed bard had explained to the large Chin-captain that it had been an accident and that she had not really intended to try and deprive his ship of its sails.  Finally, after the crew had returned to their tasks, Xena shimmered back into Solid looking somewhat forlorn.

 

“I’m sorry, Gabrielle…” she said glumly.  “I just…”

 

The bard was understanding.  “I saw your blade go through mine a couple of times and thought that something wasn’t going right.  It was too much to handle, wasn’t it?  You couldn’t manage to maintain your focus enough during the fight to stay Solid, is that it?”

 

“Yeah,” The Warrior Princess was frustrated.  “Gods, Gabrielle.  I thought since I could stay pretty much Solid around you, that sword fighting wouldn’t be any different…” She shook her head.  “How stupid was that?”

 

The bard’s voice was soothing.  “Xena, you are used to being able to control your own actions and feel that you ought to be able to.  And I’m sure you will be.  It’s just gonna take practice, I guess.”

 

“Dammit!  Have I got to relearn how to do everything now that I’m a ghost?”  The warrior grumbled.  “How can you put up with me?”

 

Gabrielle put a hand on Xena’s arm and smiled.  “That sounds like something I would have said back during the first few weeks with you, sweetheart.”

 

“Come on, Gabrielle, you were never that bad…”

 

“Sure I was.  That first month or so after we first started to travel together, all the stupid stuff I did was really starting to get on your nerves.  We hadn’t become lovers yet of course, that was still a long way ahead and I hadn’t any idea of my feelings for you.  I mean they might have been there, and I felt you were special, but they were buried pretty deep.  At that point I was pretty dumb about sex and stuff like that.  I still just wanted to get out of Poteidaia and be like I thought you were; footloose, free, and fight’em if they can’t take a joke.  Then one fall evening when we made camp it all kinda came to a head.

 

  “I had followed you and Argo all day.  You’d been on the trail of a bandit gang and we hadn’t eaten since breakfast and not much then.  I was fatigued and hungry and my feet hurt.  You could see I was dead tired, so you told me to gather some sticks and to make a fire and that you’d take care of everything else.  You unloaded everything off of Argo, brushed her down and set up our bedrolls.  Then you took our water-skin to the stream, leaving me to get the fire going.

 

“When you came back with the water, I had the wood but still hadn’t been able to get one started.  You looked at the pile of sticks and then at me for a long moment with no expression, then you took the chakram and said, “I’m gonna get us a rabbit.  Start the fire.”  And left.

 

“After you had gone, I diddled around for awhile kinda playing at making a fire with the flint and steel and wood, feeling sorry for myself and not accomplishing anything except to nip my fingers between them a couple of times.  I admit that I didn’t try very hard, cause I was tired and cold and had never managed to make a fire before without your help.  Well, pretty soon there you came and you had a rabbit just like you had promised.  You looked around the cold camp and at me and then at the pile of sticks and didn’t say anything, but even I could tell that you were not very happy.

 

“So I looked at you and pouted and looked incompetent and said something about the wood being wet, and could you please do it for me?  That had always worked before and you usually just smiled and had one going in about two seconds.  But you were tired too.  You’d had a rough day and two running fights with those bandits and one of them had got a club hit on your arm before you cleaned them up.  Looking back at it, I know you were just as aching, tired and hungry as I was, probably even more, but at the time I didn’t have a clue.  Well, instead of just doing it yourself, you let me see for the first time how frustrated you were with me. You curled your lip and said, ‘Do I haveta do everything around here?’

 

“Then you tossed me the rabbit and sat down on your bedroll.  It was getting dark and I was shivering and absolutely starving.  I looked at the wood and then at the rabbit and said, ‘Wh-What am I supposed to do with this?’”

 

“You rolled your eyes, but your voice was quiet.  ‘Cook it or eat it raw, I don’t give a damn,’ you said.”

 

“I couldn’t believe it.  I thought you were indestructible; practically a god!  And I was used to you doing everything but wipe my butt for me.  I didn’t know then that you hurt and felt things just like anyone else, stupid, but there it is.  Well, I started whining that I couldn’t eat a raw rabbit and you cut me off.  You said, ‘Look, kid!  If yer hungry enough, you’ll find you can eat anything.  Food’s food, an cooked or bloody raw, it don’t matter which!’”

 

The warrior ghost stared.  “I didn’t really say that, did I?”

 

“Yeah, you did,” Gabrielle smiled in remembrance.  “I was shocked and said, ‘I’m hungry all right, but I’m not going to eat raw rabbit.’”

 

“Whatever,” you said, and your voice was mean.  “You’re the one who wanted adventure.  Well, this is it.  Eat it raw or go home if ya can’t take it.”

 

“You had never let me see any anger before.  I felt like you had slapped me.  “’But I’m f-freezing.  Wh-What about our fire?’”

 

“If you want a fire, then you’d better get busy and make one,” you snarled.

 

“B-But the wood is…”

 

“You shrugged.  ’I guess if the wood’s too wet, we’ll just haveta sleep cold!  Makes no never mind to me.  I’m used to it.’  Then you lay down on your bedroll, pulled up your blanket, put your arm over your eyes and went to sleep.”

 

“I didn’t, did I?”  Xena was embarrassed.  “Damn, was I being a bitch, or what?”

 

“No, you weren’t.”  The bard smiled.  “You were cold and tired and aching and pissed off at me for not even doing a little thing like making the fire when you’d done everything else.  I’m surprised you didn’t smack me one.  Well, I sat there watching you in disbelief for a minute, then I threw the rabbit down and climbed into my bedroll.  I lay there for awhile pitying myself and resenting you and trying to go to sleep, but I was really cold and my stomach seemed like it was about to eat me alive. 

 

“I kept staring over at where you were, hoping you were bluffing and that you were really gonna get up and make the fire.  It was so dark that you were just a lump of shadow against the woods and I couldn’t really see you.  Then you started to snore and I realized that you really weren’t gonna make a fire and that if I wanted warmth and cooked food that it was up to me.  I started to get mad then.  I decided that I was gonna make a fire no matter what and show you a thing or three, big, bad, Warrior Princess or no.”

 

“Big bad me?”  The ghost pretended to pout.  “There I was, innocently asleep...”   

 

“Like Tartarus you were,” said the bard, crinkling her nose.  “Thinking back, I’m certain you were awake during that whole thing, watching me to see what I’d do.  At the time of course, I was too dumb to know any better.  Well, anyway, I got up in the dark and felt around for the flint and steel.  I found them at last and began to try to make a fire, being as quiet as I could, which wasn’t very, because I kept tripping and dropping things but you never stopped snoring.  Finally, I found it all, found the wood pile and began chipping and chipping away with the flint and steel, striking sparks sometimes, but with no result other than banging my fingers and getting tired arms.” 

 

Gabrielle grinned. “I was getting absolutely furious with myself for not getting it going.  Then I suddenly remembered that you once had said that the outside of the wood might be wet, but that the inside would be dry.  I was overjoyed, and thought, ‘Hah!  Now I’ve got it.’ I stripped off the outside bark and began again, fully confidant that I was on the right track.  Now I’d show you, Warrior Princess!”  The petite bard smiled lovingly at her soulmate and Xena had to smile back as she continued.  “Well, I started in again.  I worked for I dunno how long with no results, gettin’ madder and madder and not caring whether I was being quiet any more.  I didn’t notice my rumbling stomach or my scraped up fingers, but by Hades, I was gonna make that fire!”

 

“You still needed dry kindling,” Xena said softly.

 

Gabrielle nodded.  “Of course, and it was something you had told me before, but at the time it went in one ear and out the other.  I worked and worked, chipping and chipping with no better results than earlier.  Finally I stopped, cursing under my breath and holding my numb fingers in my armpits to warm them.  I began to feel like there was no hope, but then I told myself that there had to be an answer.  If you could do it, then by Zeus, I could!  Thinking about you, I told myself to focus on the problem the way you always did.  At last I remembered what you had said about dry kindling and how you could find it in old bird’s nests and such.  Thinking about it, I realized that I had seen an old squirrels nest in a low tree crotch nearby when I was getting wood.  Luckily the moon had come up by then and I could see pretty well.”

 

Gabrielle scratched her head.  “Well, I hunted around in the darkness and finally found it.  I dug into it and by the gods, the inside leaves and stuff were dry!  I couldn’t believe it, even though you had told me.  I took the dry parts for kindling, carried them back and piled them in a lump around the driest twigs and such I could find.  Then I went to work with the flint and steel again.  It didn’t take long and at last suddenly, there was a little glow; I could hardly believe it.  Holding back my hair, I bent over to blow on it, but then it went out. 

 

“Despite the setback, I was excited.  I was on the right trail!  So I chipped away some more and another glow came and I blew on it gently and then a tiny flicker of fire came.  Holding my breath, I fed it slowly with small twigs and such till it grew into an actual flame.  I kept babying it and at last it was big enough to be a real campfire.  I was so happy and proud that I wanted to burst.  I straightened up my aching back and held my hands out to it and thought that I had never seen or felt anything so wonderful and I had done it!

 

“After a minute, I began to look around on the ground for the rabbit, so I could skin it and begin to cook it.  Then you just about scared the crap out of me when you spoke from right behind me and said,  ‘Here it is.’  I had no idea you were there and I swear that when you spoke, you startled me so much I practically jumped into the fire.  I looked around shaking and there you were, holding the rabbit.  It was on a stick and ready to cook!”

 

Gabrielle grinned at her partner.  “I musta been gaping.  You had a smile on your face and you handed me the stick with that animal.  I couldn’t believe it.  You had skinned and gutted it in the dark and put it on the stick and brought it up to me and I had never seen or heard a thing until you spoke to me.  Not knowing what to say, I bent down and wedged the stick with two rocks so that the meat would hang over the fire and cook.  Then I straightened up and we stood watching the fire and the rabbit for a minute just enjoying the warmth and the smell of smoke and rabbit grease.  When I finally looked at you, you were smiling and I thought I had never seen anything so beautiful.  I felt all warm inside.

 

“You put an arm around me and said, ‘Feels good when you accomplish something for yourself for the first time, doesn’t it?’”

 

“Yes,” I said.

 

“Gabrielle, I’m proud’a ya,” you said.  “The only thing worse than trying and failing … is never to try at all.  You were hungry and tired and cold, but you just kept on tryin’.  It was cause’a that, that I knew you could do it.  I had faith in you.”

 

“When you said that, I felt all grown up and ten feet tall, but I knew I had to apologize for my behavior.  “Xena,” I said, “I don’t know how you put up with me.  I’m sorry for being such a … a stupid … kid.  It’ll never happen again.”

 

“You looked into my eyes and your face was serious.  ‘Sure it will,’ you said.  Before I could take offense, you went on. ‘Gabrielle, none of us is perfect.  We all need a kick in the butt sometimes to get us started on the right path; even me.  This time I supplied the kick for you, but next time it may be me that needs one … from you.’”

 

“I can’t believe that,” I said.  “You always know and do the right thing…”

 

“Your expression got kinda funny for a moment, like sad and regretful and looking back,  I know now, that you were thinking of your past bad deeds.  Then you smiled down at me again and said.  ‘Well, when I don’t, I’ll expect you to return that kick, okay?’”

 

 

Chapter 25

 

Gabrielle smiled as she continued.  “I think that was the most open you had been around me since we had begun traveling together.  I couldn’t take my eyes off of your face and my breath caught.  I felt myself getting all tingly the way I had when Perdicus and I were fooling around kissing and petting when we managed to get off alone and I didn’t understand it.  Your arm around me seemed warm and smooth and I found myself wondering if all of your skin would feel that way if our bodies were touching with no clothing between us.  I felt myself blushing all over and I was glad it was too dark for you to see it by the firelight.  Then you said something about not wanting the meat to burn and squatted down and began turning the rabbit over the fire so that it would cook evenly.”

 

The bard’s expression was tender.  “You know something, Xena?  That was the first time I had felt stirrings of love and want for you.  Oh, before, I was grateful that you had saved my village and me from the slavers and I thought you were marvelous and amazing and wanted to be just like you, but this was something different.  I felt … desire for the first time.  I shut it down really fast, because I didn’t think two women could possibly feel that way about one another.  Anyway I knew you certainly couldn’t feel that way about a silly farm kid from Poteidaia and I was sure you would think I was weird or something.” She smiled.  “If only I had known then what I know now…”

 

“You’d be thirty years older and wiser,” said the Warrior Princess softly. “ Like you are now.”

 

“Well, not really,” said the bard.  She looked thoughtful.  “It’s only really been about six or seven years of getting older and wiser.  Twenty-five of those years we were asleep in the ice and one more while I was asleep in Brunhilda’s ring of fire.”

 

“You look pretty damn good for a woman going on fifty,” Xena snickered.

 

“I do, do I?”  Gabrielle’s voice was a throaty purr as she thrust her hips forward and wet her lower lip with her tongue in a sexy manner.

 

“Yes, you do and ya know it too, so ya might as well stop posing,” Xena smiled.  Then her expression turned serious.  “You know, I felt it when your feelings for me changed that night,” she said softly.  “It went through me like a thunderbolt and it was all I could do not to let it show.  It was so strong I was afraid I’d try to kiss you or something.  That was why I let go of you and started messing with that rabbit.”

 

“Why, sweetheart?”  Gabrielle’s voice was puzzled.  “I would have been surprised, but the way I was feeling I probably wouldn’t have turned you down.”  Then she frowned slightly.  “At least I’d like to think I would have gone along if you’d made a pass at me.  Even then I admired and adored you; love wasn’t far behind that.”

 

The warrior’s voice was low.  “I didn’t make that pass, because I knew what I was and I didn’t want to corrupt your innocence with my evil old self.  Sure, I was a do-gooder then, but I’d been through the mill with lovers over the years before.”  She shook her head.  “Mill, hell!  I’d been through the cheese grater!  Later, when we finally did get together, I had come to the point where I loved and wanted you so much that I could barely think straight around you anymore.  Remember when you said you wanted to go to the Athens Academy and I agreed that you should?”  Xena sighed.  “I didn’t want you to leave, but I agreed because I couldn’t handle it any more by then; being with you every day and night without being with you.  I figured you deserved to meet someone young and innocent like yourself and have him or her for your first love.  A broken down old war-horse like me would only contaminate you and clip your wings before you learned what it was like to fly ... and … I was afraid if I showed my love, that you’d be horrified and leave me for good.”

 

Gabrielle’s eyes were wet as she shook her head.  “Oh, my beloved.  It is because of you that I ever knew someone could fly.  To soar on the wings of love and caring and  … and sweetness so deep that once I had experienced it, nothing and no one else could ever satisfy me but you.”

 

“Oh, gods, Gabrielle,” the ghost sobbed.  “That’s how I feel about you, too.  The only thing I’ve ever tried to do since we became lovers has been to protect and save you from any hurt or harm.  Every time I sent you away or left you behind was for that reason alone. I needed to keep you safe because I couldn’t bear to see you hurt.” 

 

The two soulmates kissed gently then hugged tight to one another and Xena rested her chin on Gabrielle’s head as she continued.  “The only exception was when Hope killed Solan.  I was hurting, but I knew you were too.  You were hurting because you had hidden Hope from me when she was a baby and I wanted to kill her.  You were hurting over trusting your daughter when you shouldn’t have and because she had k-killed my son.  You were even hurting over having to kill her with poison.” 

 

The ghost’s voice trembled as she continued. “I knew had to make you get out for your own good, because you had enough on your plate.  I didn’t want you to feel my loss as well, so I tried my best to make you hate me and leave so you wouldn’t feel my pain as well as your own.  I-It was all I could do for you.  Later, when I was alone on the mountain, chanting my grief and ready to end it all by jumping into that icy chasm, Ares came and worked his hate magic on me.  Afterwards, when I tried to k-kill you, it was because I wasn’t in my right mind anymore from his lousy powers…” Xena’s voice broke and she shuddered.

 

“Shhh.  It’s all right,” the bard whispered, stroking the bigger woman’s back.  “It’s all right.”  She looked deep into the ghost’s eyes.  “Xena.  I for one, am grateful to Ares for what he did.”

 

“Grateful?!!”  The warrior ghost cried.  “Gabrielle, are you crazy?  How can you say that?  That bastard almost made me kill you!  If not for Solan and Illusia, I would have!”

 

The petite woman was deadly serious.  “I’m grateful, because if he hadn’t bewitched you, you would have probably tried to kill yourself and maybe succeeded!  If that had happened, I would have gone to my grave mourning you as my lost love.  I would have wound up hating myself because the choices I had made had killed you.  Hope and Dahak would have won.”  The blond put a gentle hand on Xena’s shoulder.  “As it was, it all worked out for the best and it’s all over and done with.  We had this all out over twenty-five years ago in Illusia.  No need to bring it up anymore, beloved.  Past is past; leave it there.”

 

“I love you, Gabrielle…” The warrior ghost choked.

 

“I know and I love you…” The small woman cupped her soulmate’s chin and they looked into one another’s eyes for a long time before they broke apart.  Finally the bard smiled and said, “Now, that discussion strayed off of the point a little bit, but we’re back now.”

 

“It did?”  Xena looked doubtful.  “How?”

 

The bard said tenderly, “I told you that whole story just so I could remind you of that time and I could tell you this.  As far as you learning to control yourself and staying Solid when you need to, I just wanna say, ‘Xena, none of us is perfect.  We all need a kick in the butt sometimes to get us started on the right path.’ So here it is…” She gave a light sideways kick to her partner’s behind and wrinkled her nose with humor but her eyes were serious.  “…I know you can do it, because I got faith in you!”

 

The warrior ghost looked at her soulmate and her face shone with love.  Then she grinned and hugged the small woman tight.  “Thanks, Gabrielle.”

 

“My pleasure,” the blond smiled back, arching an eyebrow and her short golden hair shone in the sunlight like a halo.  “Now, wanna try those sword moves again?”

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Chapter 26

 

It was night in the cabin, and Xena was practicing floating in Partial Fade while Gabrielle was seated cross-legged on her bedroll, sharpening her katana.  She took the stone carefully over the blade a few times and then looked at the edge and felt it with disgust.  She glanced at Xena.  “Honey, can you bring me my scroll bag?  I think I’ve got a fresh sharpening stone in there.” 

 

“Sure, just a second.”  The warrior ghost said agreeably, then she began to chuckle as she floated herself over to the bag. 

 

“What’s so funny?”  The bard asked.

 

The warrior maneuvered herself into a standing position beside the bag, then concentrated and became Solid once more, landing with a slight thump next to it.  She grinned over her shoulder at her soulmate.  “I was just thinking how much things have changed.  This morning you were the one doing sword practice with the katana, tonight yer sharpening it.  Now you ask me to bring you a fresh stone.”  She laughed.  “Usually in the old days, it would be me doing all that.”

 

Gabrielle smiled.  “I guess you’re right at that.  I hadn’t thought about it.”

 

“It’s just kinda funny is all,” Xena picked up the scroll bag and then grimaced as she saw the small black funeral urn containing her ashes sitting behind it. 

 

Her grunt of distaste caused the bard to ask, “What’s the matter?”

 

“This damned thing again,” the ghost grumbled nudging the urn with a foot.  “Every time I almost manage to forget about it, it pops up again.  Will’ya please get rid of it for Zeus’ sake?”

 

Gabrielle laid the katana across her knees and gently tried her thumb against the edge.  When she spoke, her voice was dubious. “But, Xena … what am I supposed to do with it?”

 

“Like I said before, toss it overboard,” the warrior, said shortly. 

 

The bard winced.  “That seems a little, um, casual, if you don’t mind my saying so…”

 

“Well, then, have a burial at sea if you must attach some importance to it, but please, can’t we get rid of it?”  Xena’s voice became pleading.  “There’s no use in keeping it around and I still get the creeps every time I see it.  It’s of no earthly good whatsoever.”

 

“All right, all right.  If it bothers you so much, we’ll see about it.”

 

“Good.”  The warrior ghost seemed relieved.  Then as she squatted down beside her friend with the scroll bag, she spoke again.  “What are you gonna do for a horse from now on?”

 

Gabrielle rummaged in the scroll bag for a moment for the sharpening stone, then she looked up and her voice was thoughtful.  “I dunno.  Guess I hadn’t thought about it much.  Too bad that white horse I picked up in Japa got killed.”  She looked sad.  “Remember how I named her ‘Feta’ because her glistening milky skin reminded me of the cheese when it comes shining out of the brine for the first time?  She was really gentle but she didn’t last long, poor animal.  I was sorry when that bastard hit her with his arrow, I liked her…”

She sighed and there was silence for a moment.

 

“What about Argo’s daughter?” The warrior ghost said suddenly.

 

“What about her?  She’s back in Greece, where we left her with Joxer’s son Virgil when we headed to Japa last year…”

 

Xena nodded.  “You couldn’t ask for a better mount.  She’s out of Argo all right.  Same color and strong, fast, tough and beautiful.”

 

The bard nodded as she felt in the bag.  “Yeah, she is … but it’s such a long way…”

 

“Well, Huezwang is so hot to trot to take us anywhere we desire,” Xena said with a broad smile.  “He’d be the first trade ship from Chin to reach Greece, I’d bet.”

 

“Come on, honey.  That wouldn’t be fair to him or his crew.”  Gabrielle said as she pulled the fresh stone out of her bag.  “It would take years for them to sail clear around India and Afrik to reach the Aegean Sea and they would never see their families for all that time.  It could be pretty dangerous too.”

 

“Yeah,” the ghost mused.  “It would probably be quicker for us to travel back by land once we reach India.  It’s not like we don’t know the route…” She grinned.

 

“Is there a real reason to go back to Greece?”  The bard asked, beginning to sharpen the katana again.  “I mean, she’s just a horse and you can get one lots of places…” The warrior ghost hesitated and the bard cocked her head to look at her.

 

“Well … it could be fun to see Virgil a-and we might see Eve.  The gods only know where she’s gotten to in the last couple of years…” Xena’s voice was quiet. “You could visit with Lila, maybe see your niece … I could see the old inn in Amphipolis and … visit Lyceus’ grave and … mom’s…” she added softly.

 

Gabrielle gazed at her ghostly partner.  “You’re … homesick, aren’t you?”  She asked tentatively.

 

“Yeah…” Xena’s voice was surprised.  “I guess I am…”

 

The bard sat down the stone and looked at her reflection on the mirror bright surface of the katana blade.  “You know, just lately I’ve found myself wondering what Poteidaia is like nowadays and how Lila is, or if there are any Amazons left?”  She looked up to find the warrior ghost’s blue eyes watching her and they both smiled.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Chapter 27

 

It was not long after midnight and the ship was quiet, except for the creak and groan of ropes and masts and the low rush of the water sliding past the hull outside.  Xena was in Full Fade in the darkened cabin and Gabrielle was asleep in the gently swaying hammock.  The warrior ghost was amusing herself by practicing floating about to various parts of the cabin and seeing how quickly she could become Solid.  In Full or Partial Fade, Xena could see perfectly well in the dark but once Solid, she had no ghostly powers at all.  That meant that she was as blind as a normal person would have been in pitch darkness, so she had the oil lamp turned down low.  Not high enough to bother her partner’s sleep, but enough to see by faintly and orient herself with when she was Solid. 

 

The warrior was in the middle of trying to learn how to place her feet on the deck in Full Fade so they would be there when she became Solid again.  It was not easy, for in Full or Partial Fade, she could see and hear, but not really feel anything.  Many times when she thought she was on the deck, she was really an inch or so above it and when she became Solid, she would stagger-drop onto her feet.  She didn’t mind a short fall as much as she was afraid she would mind it if she miscalculated and was inside the deck or some other surface when she became ‘Solid’.  She didn’t know what might occur if this happened and she was not anxious to find out.  So she doggedly kept at it, for after that morning the warrior ghost had really become aware for the first time that she needed to augment her many skills.  Xena had just now for the first time in many tries found that her feet were planted firmly on the deck when she went from Full Fade into Solid, and she was quite pleased.  She was in the process of congratulating herself, when Gabrielle began to make noises in her sleep. 

 

“Oh, gods, Gabrielle.  Not another nightmare,” the warrior murmured unhappily.  Hurriedly she went over to her friend.  The bard was lying naked on one blanket with another over her, moaning faintly and moving a bit in the hammock as if uncomfortable.  Xena bent over her friend and kissed her forehead, tenderly stroking her hair.  She spoke softly, not wanting to shock her soulmate awake.  “Shhhh.  Shhh.  It’s all right, Gabrielle.  Wake up honey.  You’re safe.  I’m here…” She put her arms around the small woman.

 

“X-Xena…?” The bard mumbled in her sleep.

 

“Yeah, its me … yer okay.  Just another nightmare…” She kissed her friend’s cheek.

 

The bard’s closed eyelids fluttered and her voice was a low and vibrant plea.  “Yesss, oh, Xena, p-please do it … oh, my love, s-so … gooood…” 

 

Oops!  Xena looked startled, then grinned.  My mistake; not a nightmare after all.  The warrior swallowed as the small woman moaned again and moved her hips just slightly.  Unsure of what to do, she just held her soulmate tenderly and looked with love into her face in the dim lamplight.

 

Her face was inches from the bard’s, when Gabrielle blinked suddenly and awoke.  Her green eyes focused on the warrior’s and she looked a bit startled, then smiled.  “Mmmm, so it-it wasn’t all a dream?”

 

“Yeah, it was…” Xena smiled back.  “I heard you mumbling and thought you were having a nightmare, so I came over to wake you.  It wasn’t until then that I realized what was happening.  Sorry.  I didn’t mean to wake you in the middle of something good…”

 

Gabrielle smiled with affection and twined a hand in the warrior’s hair.  “You woke me to something good…” she whispered in a throaty voice and wet her lips with her tongue.

 

The Solid warrior ghost swallowed audibly and let her eyes slid down her soulmate’s body.  One of the small woman’s white smooth breasts was uncovered and the pink tip was still taut from her dream.  Xena swallowed again.  Tenderly, she leaned down and kissed the excited nipple and felt it stiffen in her mouth.  Her partner trembled and she reached down with gentle fingers and pulled the blanket aside, exposing more of the bard’s loveliness.  Delicately she kissed between the creamy soft breasts and down to the birthmark on the right side of her lover’s abdomen.  This caused the small woman to shiver and sigh and the warrior looked back up into her face.  What she saw in the green eyes made her tremble as well.

 

“Guh-Gabrielle…” Her pleading voice broke.

 

“Yes, oh, yes.  Please?”

 

The Solid ghost nodded wordlessly, then raised up and let her soulmate go for a moment. She closed her eyes and concentrated, then suddenly vanished and reappeared immediately again, naked.  She pulled the blanket over Gabrielle completely off and lowered her mouth to the bard’s, kissing her gently as the small woman hugged and kissed her back.  Their smooth bodies came together and their firm but soft skin felt like hot silk.  Still kissing her love, Xena pulled the naked bard into a sitting position, holding onto her tightly in the hammock as she stood beside it.  Their lips opened and their hands roved as the two lovers kissed long and tenderly, their tongues exploring one anothers mouths for long minutes. 

 

At last Gabrielle broke the kiss to cling trembling to the standing warrior and whispered against her breasts, “Ohhh, honey.  You’ve got me so … wet.  I’m more than ready … please, c-can you get in here with me?  I want you … now!”  Her slim legs moved restlessly as she spoke.

 

Gulping, the warrior nodded and started to try and climb into the meshed contraption.  Carefully holding onto the bard with one hand and the hammock with the other, Xena put a foot up to get in.  When she put the foot into the mesh and tried to get her weight in, the hammock swayed aside and she had to dance about wildly on the other foot trying to keep from falling.  Gabrielle tried to help pull her in and the naked warrior got her foot off the deck but then fell on her belly across the mesh.  She over-balanced and went clear over the top and suddenly found herself hanging underneath the hammock with one foot hooked in the mesh and had to hold on with both hands to keep from landing on the deck below.

 

“Xenaaa!” Gabrielle yelped as she was almost pitched out.  Cursing, the warrior redoubled her efforts to get free and the mesh twisted.  The bard was almost spilled out again and it was all she could do keep herself inside as her hanging friend struggled to free her foot.  The overbalanced hammock turned sideways and the naked bard now held desperately onto the mesh with arms and legs, her eyes wide.

 

The Warrior Princess was trapped for fair.  She couldn’t free her foot and the sideways bard had all she could do to not land on the deck.  “Oh, to Tartarus with this!”  Xena cursed and suddenly vanished.  Relieved of her weight, the hammock spun about and suddenly Gabrielle was hanging upside down under the hammock, and only her arms and legs clamped into the mesh kept her from a nasty face first landing on the hard wooden decking and she squealed.

 

Xena suddenly reappeared, still nude but now standing next to the small woman.  She was Solid again and grabbed her struggling friend.  In a moment she had righted the hammock once more and the bard clung to her, breathing hard.

 

 

Chapter 28

 

“Are you all right?”  The warrior ghost said anxiously looking at her panting friend.

 

Instead of answering, the naked bard suddenly began giggling.  Xena looked surprised.  “What’s so funny?”

 

The bard broke into laughter.  “You shoulda seen yerself!” She snickered.  “You were upside down, one leg flailing around, the other one stuck through the mesh.  Ya looked like a mermaid caught in a fishing net!”

 

“I suppose you think you didn’t look funny hanging tits-down-naked?”  Said the warrior, starting to grin in spite of herself.  “The look on yer face was like, ‘Holy Zeus, after everything we’ve been through, I’m gonna break my neck tryin’ to get laid?’”

 

At this, Gabrielle went into fresh gales of laughter and despite herself, Xena began laughing too.  Finally, she stood chuckling beside the naked and giggling bard in the swaying hammock, holding onto her.  “Well, I guess this is the next thing to a hopeless undertaking,” she grinned.

 

“Huh!  So now yer all out of ideas?”  Gabrielle snorted between giggles, crossing her arms in front of her breasts.  “And here I thought that Xena Warrior Princess, had all those many skills!  You mean to say ‘Hammock Sex’ isn’t one of them?”

 

“Listen, Miss Smarty-Bard…” the warrior started, then her face became thoughtful before she snickered.  “Well, now here’s an idea I hadn’t thought of before.  Let’s try this.”  With these words, she faded away into nothingness.

 

Swaying in the hammock, Gabrielle looked around for a moment. “Xena?  Where are you…” Then she squeaked as a sudden burst of cold stuck her and the warrior ghost shimmered into view sitting face to face with her in the hammock.  “YOW!” she shrieked.  “That’s COLD!” She felt her crinkling nipples stand up and goose bumps formed all over her front.

 

As Xena continued to concentrate and became solid, the cold instantly went away and her body was warm and smooth again to the naked and shivering bard’s touch.  The ghost put her arms around her friend and pulled her into a hot embrace.  Gabrielle sighed at the feeling of their bodies melting together and the warrior cooed softly to her.  “I’m sorry, my dear one.  Here, let me warm you up.”  Her mouth nibbled at the bards as her fingers stroked gently up and down her muscular tattooed back, shoulders and arms.

 

“Mmmmm.  That’s MUCH nicer,” the blond sighed gratefully against her soulmate’s lips.  Xena grinned, then kissed her deeply, her tongue tasting the sweet wetness of the bard’s smiling mouth.  Their breasts pushed firmly together, and their swiftly tauntening nipples seemed to dance with one another.  Gabrielle sighed as the bigger woman continued to caress and massage her all over.  She shivered as Xena planted butterfly soft kisses and nibbles all over her face, neck and earlobes, then finally found her way back to her willing mouth.  They nibbled gently with lips and teeth and their tongues circled slowly and luxuriously around inside one another’s mouth.

 

As their lips worked softly together Xena gently pulled at her lover, easing her forward until the small woman was lying on top of her.  “You’re in control now, sweetheart,” she whispered.  “You’re the one on top.  I belong to you.  Make me yours.”

 

“Mmmm,” the bard sighed, kissing and nuzzling Xena’s neck.

 

Now, breast-to-breast, belly-to-belly Xena gently moved one firm thigh upward between Gabrielle’s legs and whispered, “I’m not really certain if I can concentrate long enough to make this work, Lao Ma’s focusing techniques or no, but let’s try it this way, my dear one.”  She moved the leg gently up between the bard’s until it rested tightly against her pubic region, causing an indrawn breath from her lover.  Xena snaked her arms around the bard’s shoulders and held her firmly, whispering, “Now move your hips, my sweet,” and kissed her passionately.  Groaning into her soulmate’s mouth, the bard locked both of her legs around the warrior’s and began rubbing her vital center up and down on Xena’s smooth muscled thigh.

 

Gabrielle moaned as she moved, rubbing her blond curls firmly against her lover’s leg.  As the sweet feelings built, the bard pulled her mouth from Xena’s and threw back her head gasping.  Then her head fell and her cheek pressed to the flesh of the big woman’s chest and she shivered, panting with desire.  Holding her lover softly against her, the warrior licked and nibbled her way across the blond’s neck and lingered at her earlobe whispering endearments.  At the same time, her hands caressed down the dragon tattoo on her soulmate's smooth strong back.  When her hands reached the petite woman’s firm buttocks, Xena cupped them and helped her lover push down which added to the pressure against her thigh.  As the bard’s body began trembling with the feelings of pleasure tingling everywhere through her being, the raven-haired ghost cooed softly in her ear, coaxing her gently.  “Oh, Gabrielle.  Oh, how I love you my sweet, sweet bard.  Come for me, my love.  Oh, please, Gabrielle.  Do it for me.”

 

As the sweet words and feelings brought her swiftly toward orgasm, the petite woman cried her soulmates name over and over in a transport of ecstasy.  At last, lingering on the very edge of joy, she sobbed out her love for the big woman.  “Yes, sweetheart, oh, YES!  Oh, GODS!  Oh, XENAAAA!  I LOVE you!” as she finally exploded into the blessed release of orgasm.

 

 

Chapter 29

 

Afterwards, Gabrielle lay breathing hard on top of the warrior with her cheek against the smooth muscled shoulder as her friend caressed her gently.  “Oh … my … beloved,” she panted, her breath hot against Xena’s skin.  “That was … wonderful.  I think I … needed that.”

 

“Sounded like it was pretty good,” the warrior chuckled low in her throat, and stroked her friend’s damp hair contentedly. 

 

“Oh, it was…” The bard whispered, trying to slow her breathing.  “You are … so very, very good, so sweet, so gentle to me.  Thank you.” 

 

After a minute or so, her breathing was normal again, and she raised her head and gazed into her soulmate’s face.  Her green eyes in the light from the oil lamp sparkled with love, and Xena swallowed. 

 

Face aglow, Gabrielle kissed the warrior’s neck and then nibbled gently at the tender skin. At a shudder from the big woman, she said warmly, “Your turn now, my sweet, bold warrior.  It’s been soooo long, and oh, how I am looking forward to loving you.”

 

“Well, I would certainly love to have you do it, and we can try,” murmured the warrior ghost, with closed eyes, “but it may take more than I’ve got to stick around…”

 

“Just concentrate and use what Lao Ma taught you, beloved,” Gabrielle urged.  “I know you can do it…”

 

BV break point

 

From her position on top of Xena, the small woman carefully moved herself until they were lying face to face on their sides in the hammock.  The rope mesh contraption held them tight together and securely into it, and the bard giggled.  “Damned if I’m not beginning to like this thing,” she said, kissing and licking the hollow of her lover’s throat.  “Yum.  I think we’re gettin’ the hang of it.”

 

“Mmm, y-yeah,” Xena murmured with a shiver at the touch of the soft lips on her skin.  Gabrielle smiled as she kissed and licked her neck and shoulders.  As she stroked her soulmate up and down, the already aroused warrior felt her passions swiftly begin to rise.  Ohhh, by the gods, she thought.  I haven’t felt this in so long.  Concentrate, Xena; stay solid.  Ooooo!  YES!  Gabrielle, you’re sooo good! 

 

“Oh, honey … sweetheart … m-my DEAR one, oh, I l-love you,” she panted as the bard’s smooth hand went snaking down her trembling belly to her vital center and began caressing below the raven dark curls.  The bard’s taut pink nipples rubbed tantalizingly against hers and Gabrielle’s free leg hooked behind her buttocks to hold them even closer as her fingers moved enticingly at Xena’s core. 

 

“GABRIELLLLLE!  OH, YES, YESSSS, PLEASSSSE…” she sobbed as she felt her rapture rising and rising.  Her lover’s smiling mouth found Xena’s, and the warrior felt the petite woman’s tongue probing at her lips.  With a groan, she opened her mouth and sweet wet loveliness slipped inside and their tongues danced against one another.  Concentrate.  Oh, oh, ohhhh!  Con-cen-UHHHH-trate.  She began trembling all over with the gathering of release, but then … the sweet feelings stopped without warning and Xena groaned with their loss.

 

“X-Xena?”  The bard’s voice was shaken. “Wh-What happened?  Where are you?”

 

The warrior opened her eyes, and saw Gabrielle through her faded arm.  The naked bard was in the hammock on her side, looking around in confusion.  Xena realized that she herself was also in the hammock, but her lover seemed to have no idea that she was.  Damn!  She was in Full Fade.  Her concentration must have gone to Tartarus at the feelings of ecstasy that Gabrielle had been giving her and she had popped instantly from Solid into Full Fade.

 

“Xena?  Are you here?”

 

Disgustedly, the warrior concentrated hard and suddenly went straight from Full Fade into Solid, bypassing the Partial Fade stage and appearing in Gabrielle’s arms again.  The bard squeaked as she was suddenly pushed back in the hammock and found herself face-to-face with a double armful of warm naked warrior. 

 

“Boo!”  Xena said, making her lover jump again.

 

“I-Is that supposed to be funny?”  The bard stammered crossly.

 

Xena sighed.  “Well, no, although I suppose if looked at in the right light, it could be.”

 

“Xena…” The bard started angrily, then the light dawned and she was instantly contrite.  “Oh, honey.  Even with Lao Ma’s technique, you couldn’t hold it, could you?”

 

“Nope,” Xena smiled ruefully.  “You got to me in a big way, my dear one.  I just couldn’t concentrate…”

 

“B-But you stayed solid long enough for me, to … y-you know…” The bard colored.

 

Xena chuckled.  “Yeah, but that’s a bit different now I think about it.  I was concentrating the whole time on you, sweetheart.  It stands to reason I could stay Solid easier.”  She sighed and stroked Gabrielle’s short blond hair.  “When you sent me up so high, I just lost it entirely before I quite got there.”

 

“Oh, honey.”  Tears filled the petite woman’s eyes.  “That’s so unfair to you.  You made me feel so … so wonderful, and I can’t do anything in return for you?”

 

“Well,” said the big woman slyly.  “I dunno about that.  Like you said, maybe I just need some, you know, practice … after all, I remember a certain someone who couldn’t do flips without the staff the first time she tried, too.  Even sprained an ankle as I recall.  At least all I did was disappear.”  She ruffled the blond’s hair teasingly.

 

Gabrielle stuck out her tongue, then spluttered and giggled as Xena licked it with her own.  “So, yer saying, we can, um, try again?”  She whispered, running said tongue along the hollow of her warrior’s neck and lightly pinching her side.  “That could be … fun.”

 

The warrior ghost grinned.  “Gabrielle, to perfect this, we’ve got nothing but time on this boat for the next couple of months.  We’ll get it together, I’m sure of it.”  She kissed the small woman’s nose.  “But, see … I would swear while we were doing things a few minutes ago, that I heard a tummy growl.  Now, I know that it wasn’t me, ‘cause I don’t even eat.  So that must mean…” she paused to kiss the bard’s eyes lightly, “ that it was … someone else.”

 

“Well, um, it HAS been a long and busy day and I had a light dinner,” Gabrielle grinned, nuzzling her soulmate’s chin.

 

“Light for a horse, maybe…” Xena smirked, then winced as the bard pinched her side, hard.

 

“I’m a farm gal,” the petite woman sniffed.  “We worked hard and I was brought up eating three square meals a day … not counting snacks.”

 

“Is that what it was?”  The warrior pretended surprise.  “And here all this time I just thought you were a Greedy Guts … HEY!”  She yelped as the bard pinched both her buttocks at once and then cupped her hands on them.

 

“Keep it up, ghost-gal,” Gabrielle said with narrowed eyes.  “And the next place I pinch you’ll really notice!”

 

“And what if I just Fade away?”  Xena countered with a leer.  “What’ll ya do then?”

 

“You’ll be back,” the bard said airily.  “And then when you least expect it … Zap!”  She pinched her warrior’s behind again for emphasis, but gently this time.

 

“Hmmm.  Guess I better quit while I still got some butt left to Fade out with,” Xena grinned, kissing Gabrielle’s nose.  “So what say we go topside and get you an early snack, my dear one. It should be gettin’ near dawn and it oughta be a beautiful sunrise.  We can try this again, later.”

 

“Oh, Xena.  I love you.”  Gabrielle said softly looking deep into her friend’s blue eyes.

 

“And I love you, my dear bard of Poteidaia,” the Solid warrior ghost answered.  Closing their eyes, they kissed gently for a long moment.  Then Xena looked up and down their hammock entangled, pressed-together bodies and grinned.  “Well, now.  This feels really nice, but how do you propose that we get outa this thing?”

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Chapter 30

 

Sometime later, it was just dawn over the sea and the sun low in the east was a half-ball of orange, surrounded by clouds.  Rays of light spread out from it sending fan-shaped beams clear across the sky from the horizon.  The early light fell on the Sullen Dragon, painting the trade junk in colors of orange and black, and the calm, dark, rolling water shone with thousands of sparkling glints as the racing ship moved slowly from night to morning.  Most of the crew was asleep below; only captain Huezwang, the sleepy helmsman and a lone lookout in the crowsnest were awake, yawning and wishing for their hammocks.

 

The door to the cabin opened, and the two women came out.  Xena looked as she always had; with brown leathers, boots, brass armor and sword slung over her shoulder.  The only thing missing from her ghostly image was the chakram, which she had not been able to touch since her death.  Gabrielle was dressed in her reddish top, short skirt and boots.  Around her waist she wore her silver linked belt, and on her slim muscular arms were the wide silver bracelets and the armbands. Under one arm was the round black shape of Xena’s funeral urn.  Her sai’s were tucked into the boots and the chakram hung at her hip.  Her short blond hair was freshly washed and brushed and she wore a smile as they approached the poop deck. 

 

The large captain was there writing Chin characters in his scroll log again as they came up and sat down his brush. 

 

“Good morning,” the bard said with a bow.  “Did you have a good night?”  Xena said nothing but smiled at the Chin captain.

 

Huezwang bowed back, then eyed them both for a moment before speaking.  “Yes, it quiet was.  Except, sometime we hear happy, um … yells from you cabin.  You are … all fine?”  He asked with an innocent look.

 

Gabrielle blushed and Xena snickered as she put warm solid hands on the bard’s shoulders.  “We, are both … well,” the petite woman choked.  With a twinkle in his eye, the large captain nodded as she continued, “It’s a beautiful morning.  Is it possible that some breakfast can be found?”

 

“Yeah,” the ghost said before he could answer.  “You wouldn’t believe it, but little as she is, Gabrielle has a huge appetite…” She lowered her voice with a sly grin.  “…And not just for food…”

 

“Xe-NAAA!”  The small woman’s cheeks were flaming as she spun to face the warrior.

 

The solid ghost cupped a hand to her ear.  “Oops!  Was that my mother I heard calling?  I’d better go see!”  With a smirk at the captain, she blinked out suddenly, leaving them alone.

 

The blushing bard turned back to the grinning captain and her expression was dignified.  “Ahem.  I believe I was asking about breakfast before I was so crudely interrupted?”

 

Huezwang coughed and composed his face as he glanced at the rising sun for a moment.  “At this hour, the cook will be … cooking, for morning watch.  I am go there soon.  You wish come too?”

 

“Thank you,” she said gratefully.  “I have something to do first, but I may join you after if I you don’t mind.”  She looked to the rail of the ship and a gentle smile passed over her face as she hefted the small black urn that she was carrying. 

 

Huezwang looked at the urn and then cocked an eyebrow in a questioning manner.

 

“A small matter I need to take care of.” Gabrielle said softly. She stroked the urn’s side.  “An honorable burial at sea…”

 

The captain blinked owlishly for a moment, then nodded in comprehension.  “A duty to the departed is an honor both to them, and to you.”  He bowed his head.  “I myself will hold ship steady while you do this.” 

 

“Thank you.”  The bard returned the bow and the large captain crinkled his eyes before going to the wheel and excusing the sleepy helmsman.  Once in control he looked at the horizon, glanced up at the sails, then nodded to her.  Gabrielle smiled her thanks, then walked away across the deck.  As she went, she presented a glowing picture of joy and life as she approached the railing.  In contrast to her aliveness, was the dead-looking dull-black urn.

 

Holding it tenderly, the petite bard stepped up to the railing and looked out at the slowly rolling sea and the shimmering light of dawn and closed her green eyes as she took a deep breath of the fresh air.  Smiling, she opened them and looked down at the small black container as she thought of what she wanted to say.  Finally, she spoke softly and with love.

 

“A life of journeying, has brought you to the farthest lands … to the very edges of the earth…” She felt a faint cool touch on her shoulder and stopped as she looked up smiling to see Xena standing there in Partial Fade.

 

“...And to the place where I’ll always remain,” the warrior ghost continued, her voice filled with tenderness and her blue eyes brimming with love.  “Your heart.” 

 

They gazed at one another and the love and devotion between them seemed almost like a living thing.  Then Xena said crisply, “So where to now, my dear one?”

 

“I think we should go south, to the land of the Pharaohs,” the bard grinned, causing her nose to crinkle.  “I hear they need a girl with a chakram.”

 

Xena smiled to hear her soulmate speak the very words she herself had spoken months before they had come to Japa and murmured softly.  “Where you go, I’m at your side.”

 

“I knew you’d say that,” Gabrielle said tenderly, and chuckled softly under her breath as she felt her heart fill with love.  She looked out over the sparkling sea for long moments, felt the wind stir her short blond hair as she smelled the fresh breeze.  Then with steady hands, she took the top off of the small urn, looked into it for a moment, then gazed at the warrior.

 

Xena concentrated and became Solid, looking at her seriously.  “I know I asked you to do this, but are you really okay with it?” She said softly, touching the urn.

 

“If I didn’t know you were still here beside me, I might have trouble with it,” the petite woman said serenely.  “I’d have carried this urn with me till the end of my life as an honor to you.”

 

The warrior ghost grimaced.  “Gabrielle, that’s creepy…”

 

The bard smiled.  “Go ahead and tell me how if it was me in here, you wouldn’t have done the same thing, Xena.”

 

“If it was all that I had left of you,” the ghost mumbled, “that would’a been a different story, but I’m not worth all this fuss…”

 

“Hush.”  Gabrielle silenced her by placing a finger over her friend’s lips before continuing. “As it is, sweetheart, I know it’s not you any more.  It’s just … ashes and dust.”

 

Xena’s eyes glistened as she kissed the finger.  “It’s time, Gabrielle,” she whispered. “Do it.” 

 

The petite blond looked affectionately at her friend for a moment longer, then dropped the small lid spinning into the sea foaming past the hull.  She took the urn in both hands, then held it out over the side of the ship gazing at it, and swallowed as she spoke firmly.  “To ashes and dust we must all eventually go, but you and I … our love will never die.  Beyond life, beyond death it will go on and on…” she looked deep into Xena’s eyes and the warrior ghost somehow felt an electric tingle as her soulmate continued.  “If we are apart for a little while, that will only make it all the sweeter when we find one another once more.  Life after life, we will meet again and again and I will love you till the stars burn out and beyond, my beloved, for the spirit of our feelings can never die.”  Xena swallowed, as Gabrielle looked back at the urn and finished,  “Now, let these blessed ashes float peacefully in the healing arms of the sea, until the end of time.  Hail and farewell … my heart, my soul, my … love.” 

 

Thus saying, Gabrielle took a deep breath, then slowly tipped the black vessel that had held so much of her pain in the last few months and watched as the contents poured like a waterfall of black smoke into the hurrying sea below, to vanish instantly into the foam.  When it was empty, she kissed the cold hard surface of it and let it too fall to the water, where it struck with hardly a splash … and was gone as if it never had been.  Gabrielle closed her eyes for a moment, then let out a long slow sigh.  She felt Xena’s comforting arm around her shoulders and leaned into the bigger woman.  She looked up at her friend and smiled faintly as a tear ran unbidden down her face.

 

Xena’s expression was full of loving concern as she kissed the bard’s forehead and then held her tight.  “Oh, Gabrielle, oh, my dear one.  That was just so … so beautiful, but please don’t cry … y-you know that wasn’t me anymore…”

 

“Sorry, honey,” the bard said as she cupped a hand against the woman’s soft cheek.  “Oh, I know yer still here and all, but even though you are, doing that turned out to be a lot harder than I thought it would.”

 

Xena took the hand and kissed it gently, then hugged the blond to her.  “I love you, Gabrielle…” she whispered against the bard’s ear.

 

Gabrielle shivered at the warm sensation of the Solid ghost’s breath and sighed.  “Mmm.  That … tickles, sweetheart.”  She nuzzled against the bigger woman’s neck and kissed the tender skin there and was rewarded with an indrawn breath from the bigger woman.  She smiled and her green eyes were catlike.  “I think … no … I know that I want you.  D’ya think … if we went down to the cabin again, that we could … maybe get past this … silly thing of you not being able to stay Solid for me when I make love to you?”

 

Xena felt her passions began to rise at the sultry tone in the bard’s voice and cleared her throat.  “Ahem.  W-Weren’t you, uh, hungry?  What about your breakfast?”

 

“Oh, I’m hungry all right,” the bard said softly, running a finger from the warrior’s chin, down her neck to her chest.  “But not for … food.”  She followed the finger with a series of gentle nibbles, which caused a shiver in her big friend.

 

The Warrior Princess swallowed.  “Well, um, I’m certainly not hungry and I don’t have anywhere else to go right now.  Do you?”

 

“Nowhere but with you, my love,” Gabrielle whispered, tugging lightly at her warrior’s hands.  “Nowhere ever again … but with you.”

 

The Solid ghost smiled as hand in hand, the two lovers made their way across the gently rolling deck of the Chin-junk towards their cabin.  As they went, Gabrielle glanced up to see Xena looking down at her with love and felt her heart seem to rise upward with joyful elation, for she knew that from this time forward, they would never again be parted; not by death, or life, or fear or hate.  And no matter when or where she came to the end of her journey, she and her soulmate would join together to go on and on, life after life into eternity ... as one, forever.  Reaching their cabin, the two soulmates entered and vanished from view as the Sullen Dragon raced on, carrying them into the dawning light of the new day.

 

The End

 

Authors note: 

To all the readers who cajoled or praised and made clear that they love Xena and Gabrielle as much as I do.  Thanks for your interest and never fear; this tale is not yet over.  It is continued and concluded in my FanFics called, “Hunger Hunting” and “A Friend Never Departed.”

 

Final authors note:

 

I would like to thank all the folks at The Bards Village for their input and comments and most especially Samantha Ruskin for her invaluable help and continuing encouragement when I was downhearted while writing this fan fic story; without her, it just as probably would never have been finished.  Thank you, dear Sam. 

 

I also wish to thank Chantal, UnaMagenta, Rhyysm, Crystal Michalette and all the others for their comments and unflagging encouragement and for egging me on.

 

And of course it goes without saying that without my wife, Sharon, and her loving support, I never could have done it at all.  Thanks, honey; I love you.

--- Bill the Semi Bard, February 2002