COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:

Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the author's consent.

DISCLAIMER:

This story is somewhat in the “Hurt Comfort” category and contains more than subtext, but no sex. I believe Xena and Gabrielle are the sweetest of lovers and have been almost since they met, so I write them that way. If you really hate this idea, go find some Gen-Fanfic to read, there are plenty of really good ones out there. The rest of you settle in and (hopefully) enjoy.

SPOILERS:

Lots of light ones for all seasons of the show, but especially for the Season 4 ender Ides of March and just a little for Season 5 beginner Fallen Angel.

FEEDBACK: Send comments burnt or lightly under-done to: [email protected]

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INTERVAL AT THE GATE

Xena sat on the rock and wondered. A light wind blew her hair as she studied her hands, looking without success for the holes she knew should be there in her palms. She didn't WANT them to be there, but she was a realist. She was certain that they HAD been there, and she could not understand why they were not.

"Ares, you bastard," she thought tiredly, "don't do this to me. I WON'T come back to you under ANY circumstances, no matter what illusions you make me see; no matter what inducements you offer me. After what you did to Gabrielle and me with Dahak and Hope and the Destroyer, we are quits, now and forever."

She looked around her in exasperation. "C'mon, damn you. Show up! I know yer out there somewhere."

But she didn't know. In fact she knew just the opposite; he WASN'T there. Always before, she could feel him if he was hovering nearby somewhere, invisible and gloating. She could sense him in her mind like the smell of a week-old corpse improperly covered; or a greasy slime coating on her hands that she couldn't see but could feel sliding around whenever she touched something. She always KNEW when he was there and this time ... he wasn't. To her surprise, somehow she knew that he wasn't coming either. How she knew this, she did not know, but she KNEW.

Where in Tartarus am I, the warrior thought unhappily. Where's Gabrielle? Then a thought struck her. Wait! Tartarus!? Maybe I'm dead! Is that where I am?

Loudly she called the god of the Underworlds name. "Hades! Where are you? Why am I here?" There was no answer. "Quit fooling around! You OWE me! Why am I here?"

Still there was no answer. Xena was bewildered. Who or what power could have done this to her? Aphrodite? Cupid? Hera? Strife? That new goddess, what was her name ... Discord?

"Why am I heeeeerre," she shouted and heard her unanswered question echo.

Uneasily Xena looked around. Rock wall behind her, a seeming sky of blue shot with some clouds around and above her. She looked down at her feet. She was sitting on a rock surface with her knees drawn up and her bare feet protruded from a long white shift-like garment. She wiggled her toes; yep, that worked. Xena fingered the soft white fabric of the shift wonderingly; it was as fine a material as she could ever remember wearing, but she could not recall donning it. Indeed, the last thing she seemed to remember wearing had been a garment of rough gray sackcloth.

It was all too strange. She looked down at her bare feet once more and became aware of something else. Beyond her toes the rock edge fell away in a sheer drop so far down that blackness swallowed the bottom of it. The warrior gulped and pulled herself back from the edge as far as she could get; perhaps four feet. She looked up the rock face behind her and it seemed to go up out of sight as well. No way up, no way down; how did I get here?

With that, visions and feelings began nibbling at the edges of her mind. A fight; a tremendous blow to her back which she somehow did not feel; the landscape tilting up and then down as she fell ... a dear voice beside her and the deepest green eyes in the world which held hers with a vow of love ... then the ... the hammer coming down and red searing pain in her hands and Gabrielle's screams next to her as the hideous iron was driven in and then she was raised on the cross into the air ... NO!

Tears of rage and remorse ran down Xena's cheeks and her mind shuddered away from the images. That had been a dream; a nightmare that she had awakened from. But ... awakened where? If this was not Tartarus or the Elysian Fields, then where was she and how had she gotten here?

Another image exploded in her mind. Gabrielle! The gentle and peace-loving bard was swinging Xena's sword in deadly arcs as she cut down charging men in Roman armor. She danced and spun about, spilling their insides and cutting vulnerable throats.

"Get up, Xena! Run!" Her screams mingled with their death cries as she fought on and on protecting her fallen friend and lover.

The warrior shivered as she remembered lying helpless as the bard fought frantically to save her. She had struggled to rise but could not. "I can't ... it's my ... spine, Gabrielle."

"Gabrielle, oh, Gabrielle." Xena whispered, staring sightlessly at the horrors in her mind. She covered her face with her hands. What did I make you do? You gave up your Path of Love for me and now look at us; we're both dead anyway ... dead?

The warrior's head came up and her blue eyes were anguished. Dead. We ARE dead; crucified, just like in my vision from that bitch Alti. It all came back now; Xena's failed attack on Caesar, the reappearance of Callisto. Then the mad ride to save the captured Gabrielle from being crucified, the fight at the Roman fortress in which the Warrior Princess had fallen, Gabrielle fighting viciously to save her, but to no avail … and then at the last their twin crucifixions in the gray dawn of the snowy day.

Now she remembered it all; right down to the long torment of the two of them hanging side-by-side nearly naked on the cold crosses and whispering their last words of love for each other while awaiting death. Then at last ... in that joyful moment when Xena felt herself rise out of her numb and broken body, she had gone to the one true and loving friend she had ever known. Her soul mate and companion, lover and friend, Gabrielle of Poteidaia.

Even in death, when Xena called her name and touched her friend, the bard's smiling spirit had come out of her limp, crucified body and they had risen together into the air, their spirits linked in death as they had been in life. Hovering above the unknowing Roman soldiers on guard in the snow; the warrior and the bard had looked down and smiled with love at each other, feeling almost sorry for the foolish men who thought they had won. Then arm-in-arm the two lovers had floated up, up, up ... and now Xena was here, but where was Gabrielle?

Xena closed her eyes and put her head on her knees. Not in the Amazon Eternity, oh, please, no! I can't follow her there from Tartarus, or ... wherever it is that I am now. Red sparks shone behind her closed eyes and she felt unbidden tears running down her cheeks as a sob gathered in her throat. If anyone is listening; I've never asked for anything but once before, and that was for her. Please, oh, please let us be together, the warrior thought desolately. I can endure anything if only she is with me.

As if in answer to an unspoken prayer, the warrior heard the familiar voice calling her name. “Xeeeeena!”

“Gabrielle?” Her head snapped up in response and she looked around wildly through her tears.

"Xena, there you are!"

The bard’s voice shocked the startled warrior to her feet and she swayed without care on the sheer brink of the drop-off as she shouted, “GABRIELLE!”

There on another rock spire some thirty feet away, stood the bard. She was dressed much as Xena was, in a white shift of fine fabric, and her feet and lovely arms were bare.

“Hi, Xena! Yeah, I’m here, I’m okay, but where in Tartarus are we? What’s happened to us?” Before Xena could answer, the bard shouted, “Oh, please, Xena! Get back from the edge, will ya? Yer scarin’ me! I can’t even see any bottom down there!”

Ignoring her friend’s words, the warrior looked about her for a moment, at the short space of rock beneath her, the drop-off, the rock cliff-face behind her. Then she gauged the distance to her lover and spoke calmly. “Gabrielle, get to one side…”

Gabrielle looked puzzled for a moment, then apprehensive. “Oh, no! Yer not gonna … Xena, don’t do it! I know yer good, but you’ll never make it! Even if you get here, this rock isn’t even ten feet across! You’ll fly right over!”

“If I don’t make it, I don’t,” the warrior shouted, “but we’re not staying apart after what we’ve been through! We are gonna be together, so get to the side and crouch down, ‘cause here I come!”

“Oh, Zeus…” the bard moaned, but did as the warrior told her.

Xena strode to the edge of the rock, then turned her back to it with her heels on the very edge, ignoring the unknown depths behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to once more gauge the distance to the bard’s rock spire, then faced the cliff four feet in front of her. She took slow deep breaths in through her nose, out through her mouth. Then when she felt ready, she ran forward the scant space and on up the rock wall. About ten feet up, just as her momentum could carry her no further, she shoved off backwards with both feet and began flipping through the air towards Gabrielle’s rock, screaming her battle cry.

“Alalalalalaaaaa!” She flew spinning backwards across the intervening space in an instant and landed with both feet in the very center of the rock. But she had misjudged her momentum and it carried her stumbling backwards with nothing to stop her. The staggering warrior would have gone on over and into the unknown depths but the white-faced bard made a desperate lunge to grasp a flailing arm and yanked her back to safety.

The two of them fell to the ground panting, and clung together for long moments embracing each other with a strength born of desperation and love.

“Xena, oh, Xena, that was crazy, just crazy,” moaned the bard, trembling as she buried her face in the warrior’s chest.

Xena held her tightly and whispered her name over and over like a prayer. “Gabrielle … Gabrielle … Gabrielle…” she said as they clung trembling together, their hearts pounding with fear and elation.

The bard finally looked up into her face, and her green eyes shone. “Xena,” she said, nothing else, but her tone alone spoke volumes.

“Dear one, oh, my dear one…” Xena breathed back and they kissed gently with a love and trust they had earned by years of living, loving and surviving together against all odds.

Finally, Gabrielle sat up and looked at her soul mate, cocking her head to one side. “So this is death? I gotta admit, it seems pretty tame. No Tartarus flames, no Elysian Fields, no Amazon Eternity, just these rock spires and sky above?”

Xena’s lips quirked. “Looks like it.”

Gabrielle’s expression was troubled; when she spoke her voice was hesitant. “So … are we ghosts do you suppose … doomed to haunt this rock forever?” She smiled forlornly as Xena reached a hand towards her face then yelped as the warrior tugged sharply at her bangs.

“Seems not,” snickered the dark woman. “Ghosts can’t touch and after all, you felt pretty solid a minute ago.”

“Okay, okay, that was stupid, I admit, but didja have to pull so hard? That hair is short but it’s still attached; at least it WAS…”

Xena smirked. “Just checking.”

“Yeah, yeah,” the bard grumbled, smoothing the spot where Xena had pulled.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist.” The Warrior Princess lay back on the rock. It was neither too hot nor too cold, it just … was.

“So, where do ya suppose we are?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Gabrielle.” She gazed up at her partner and marveled at how the small blond could look good in anything, from sackcloth to the fine white raiment she now wore.

Meanwhile the bard was examining her hands curiously, looking closely at her palms. She held them up to the sky, then fell to examining her feet with the same intensity. “No holes…” she said in wonder. “No holes and no pain … but Xena, they NAILED us to those crosses with iron spikes; it HURT.” She shivered. “I remember it all, and now no sign of what happened?”

“Tell me about it,” the warrior shrugged from her prone position. She moved her hips and stretched comfortably. “I’m fairly certain my back was broken … seems fine now…”

Gabrielle grimaced. “I remember I was hungry as they were taking us out to the crosses…”

“Yer always hungry,” Xena smiled, interrupting her.

“Yeah, yeah. Knock a gal when she’s dead.” The bard grinned and punched her friend lightly in the side. “Anyhow, I remember that I thought how I hated to die hungry and cold. No heat in that cell, and they hadn’t fed us much of anything after Brutus left. But I can’t feel either one now … no hunger, no cold, not even any pain, or holes … it’s all too weird.”

“I’d rather have this, believe me,” the warrior grinned.

“Well, duh,” Gabrielle snorted, then frowned for the first time. “Ya know, I thought about dying hungry just as we were passing Callisto.” She shook her head in wonder. “The bitch was catching snowflakes on her tongue and the Romans didn’t even seem to see her…”

“Forget Callisto,” Xena said. “Hopefully ‘her lord’ is having some nasty words with her right now for blowing her mission.”

“But it was her! She got us killed,” the bard said with anger and pain in her voice. “You were winning against all that they could do, till she threw the chakram at you.” Her face was pale and there were twin spots of color in her cheeks. “Gods, Xena. When it hit and I saw you go down and that big Roman bastard was coming to kill you, something just … snapped. I threw the spear and it went right through him. Then I picked up your sword and … I was killing … killing …” She began trembling and her eyes were hollow. “And it was all for nothing, nothing! In the end they crucified us anyway and now we’re … here.”

“Hey, hey! Take it easy…” Xena sat up and put her arm around Gabrielle, and the bard laid her head on the warrior’s shoulder as she continued. “Dear one, we’re together, that’s all that matters now. Alive or dead, we’re together.”

Gabrielle took Xena’s callused hand palm to palm in her small soft one, and their fingers inter-twined.

“You are always so practical,” she murmured softly into Xena’s shoulder. “Gods, how I love you…”

The warrior took the small woman’s chin and tipped her face up and brushed her lips across the bard’s mouth. “Right back atcha, honey.”

She pulled the bard into a leaning position back against her and put her arms around the smaller woman, who snuggled comfortably into her chest.

They sat that way for a moment, each savoring the comfort of the other. Then Gabrielle took one of Xena’s large hands in both of hers and examined it, then placed a gentle kiss in the palm.

“Oh, Xena…” she said, joy in her voice, “there are no marks at all. I’m glad; so glad. I couldn’t bear to see your beautiful hands with those spikes through them, knowing the pain you were in … I would have given anything to take that pain away from you … anything.”

There was a strangled sound from behind her, and Xena began trembling. “Xena? What is it?” The bard tried to turn around, but the warrior’s arms held tight around her preventing her from moving. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, my dear one…” Xena choked. She lay her chin on top of Gabrielle’s blond head, and the bard could feel the hot wet tears running through her hair as Xena sobbed.

“It’s all right, sweetheart, it’s all right. I’m here; I love you. Please, my love, please don’t cry. Please…”

“Oh, Gab…rielle,” Xena started, then lay back on the rock and sobbed anew.

The bard wriggled around so that she could see the warrior’s face and lay on top of her. Tears were pooling in the hollows of her eyes as she cried, and Gabrielle tenderly brushed them away, kissing her face and murmuring words of endearment.

At last the raven-haired woman’s sobs quieted, and she opened her brilliant blue eyes to find the blond’s peaceful green gaze fixed upon her.

“Talk to me … tell me what’s the matter…” the bard whispered.

Biting her lip, Xena shook her head.

“Now, come on,” Gabrielle teased. “You know I won’t let it go, Xena. You might as well get it out, or I’ll make your life miserable till you do, ya know?”

“Yeah, I do know … from the very beginning … you … you always were a pest … you could never just let anything drop…” the Warrior Princess smiled, the tenderness in her voice taking any sting from the words.

“So talk,” smiled the bard.

“Guess I have no choice unless I want this Afterlife to be worse than Tartarus, huh?”

“That’s right, Warrior Princess,” the bard grinned, crinkling her nose. “So spill it.”

“All right.” The warrior grinned back; then her face fell. “It’s, it’s just … I’m supposed to be your protector, Gabrielle. To me you are the dearest person on the face of the earth, the one I care most about and … and I couldn’t protect you.” A fresh tear rolled down her cheek as she sat up and faced the bard. “Because you were with me, in the end, I couldn’t save you from that bastard Caesar … from what he had done to you … granted, to me too…” she said and held up a hand as Gabrielle started to speak. “But he had us killed in that way, that horrible way. To watch you, the most innocent, caring, truly good person I have ever known being crucified … to see those damn s-spikes driven into your beautiful feet, your hands … you, the one person above all that I EVER wanted to protect and keep safe … and I failed … I failed…” her voice trailed off and she swallowed painfully.

The bard looked at her in wonder. “Xena, do you know how many times you have saved my life?”

The warrior shook her head soberly.

Gabrielle grimaced. “All right, so I can’t remember either, but just for grins let’s make it an even dozen, and each time you saved my life it looked impossible, didn’t it?”

The ghost of a smile crossed the warrior’s lips. “Well, now, I wouldn’t say that... I wasn’t too worried that time when…”

“Hey, shut up, smarty! I’m makin’ a point here!”

The warrior grinned then turned serious again. “Sorry, go on...”

“Anyhow, out of all those times and situations each one was deadly serious. I coulda been killed each time, but I wasn’t … thanks to you, to YOU, Xena. You were there for me time after time, and every time you came through!”

Xena muttered something.

“What? I didn’t catch that.”

Xena grimaced. “I said, ‘Except the last…’”

“Xena,” Gabrielle looked at her. “My father used to say to me, ‘’Brielle, nobody gets out of life alive; nobody. So make the most of it while you ARE alive, and go out there and LIVE.’” The bard tossed her head. “And I did, Xena, I joined you and never looked back … except maybe that once when I went back to Poteidaia that time I lost my nerve, but I was young and stupid then. Thank the gods I rejoined you afterwards...”

“I do everyday,” whispered the warrior, touching her face.

Gabrielle looked at her partner with love as she continued. “The point is, you and I have lived enough for ten lifetimes, dear one. Sure, we’ve had bad times…”

Xena blinked rapidly and her eyes swam as she remembered twin funeral pyres with small bodies, a galloping Amazon horse and a cliff by the sea.

Gabrielle’s eyes glistened too as she continued softly. “But no matter what anyone thinks, the good times and the joy far outweighed any bad; any and ALL of it.” She looked deep into Xena’s eyes, and the warrior nodded as she went on. “If you had died without me, I could have gone on … I found that out with that whole thing where your spirit was in Autolycus’ body and I thought you were dead … but I wouldn’t have been nearly so happy if I had. I’d have spent my life remembering you and regretting your loss. As it is, if I had to die, dying with you is the best thing that I ever could have wished for … pain and suffering be damned.”

Xena stared at her friend; then wordlessly embraced her and the bard hugged her back fiercely.

“I love you, Gabrielle,” she whispered through a throat choked with emotion.

“And I love you, Xena, my warrior,” the bard said, burrowing into her as they held on tightly, lost in the moment of confession and forgiveness.

At last they sat next to each other still holding hands and Gabrielle looked around at the endless sky, the rising rock spires and the fathomless depths below them. Finally, she looked back at her big friend.

“So what now? Is this … it? Is this all there is to the Afterlife?”

Xena shook her head. “I dunno, my love, but if it is, I’m glad yer here with me.”

The petite blond smiled. “Oh, gods, me too. Dead or alive; as long as we’re together, we can face anything … and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Xena hugged her soul mate again and they leaned into each other for a moment, then they sat back on the strangely temperate rock and looked about, softly talking of inconsequential things.

As the two sat in quiet companionship, suddenly a bright light bathed them and they looked up in awe as the horizon of the sky before them seemed to come alive with a circle of shimmering movement and a massive chorus of lovely voices floated down upon them. As they watched, the circle seemed to turn end on to them, and begin splitting into individual small lights, which began to resolve themselves into golden winged figures in a great circling dance of glowing star fire.

“Xena,” the bard spoke in amazement. “It’s so … so beautiful! What IS it?”

They looked at each other in wonder; then Xena smiled uncertainly, standing up and pulling Gabrielle with her. “I don’t know, but it looks like there’s gonna be a little more to this Afterlife thing after all…”

Closer and closer the winged figures came, till some of them were hovering with slowly beating wings, right in front of the rock where the two lovers stood. One of them was a young man with a peaceful smile, and he extended his hand towards the bard. With no hesitation whatsoever, Gabrielle stepped forward, only to halt as Xena suddenly put a hand on her shoulder. She glanced back to see the warrior staring with apprehension at the floating shapes. The bard smiled reassuringly and covered Xena’s hand with her own.

“It’s okay … can’t you feel it?” Her voice was filled with awe and wonder. Reluctantly the warrior let go and the bard stepped forward to the very edge of the rock and stretched out her hand.

The young man grasped it gently, and suddenly the petite woman was wafted into the air with no more effort than a dandelion seed on the breeze. The bard laughed out loud with joy as she floated up, now supported by a number of other smiling figures as well.

Xena stood with her mouth open, watching her friend being lifted into the air, and then suddenly broke into a grin of sheer delight at Gabrielle’s obvious joy in the experience. Then, almost before she realized it, the Warrior Princess felt soft hands grasping her arms and legs and found herself being lifted up as well, and the sudden rising of peace and contentment that swelled in her heart, threatened to overwhelm her with happiness.

“Xena! It’s WONDERFUL,” cried the bard joyfully, and the normally dour warrior smiled and laughed with the sheer ecstasy and wonder of it all as the winged figures floated the two soul mates up, up, up, into the sky full of peaceful music and brilliant light … towards the promise of joy and peace and love for eternity.

The end of the very beginning…